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Best status update you've seen

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just seen a update by a young lad who's only just joined and it made me chuckle. Here's what it said...

Looking for women to chat and fuck, send me a wink!

In a way I admire his straight forward approach, but it still made me chuckle to myself in that he has a lot to learn! Anyone else seen some good updates that made you laugh?! Either intentionally or not?!

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Skint and bored any ideas and they put it up regular I messaged them one day and said get a job and hobby imagine the reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly?

All of my own. When I’m keen for a laugh I’ll update it to something bloody hilarious, just to see what kind of replied I’d get. Usually food related, I tend to ask for a KFC bargain bucket and in return I’ll let them join in with my gangbang.

Although I did once ask for advice on how to get a champagne cork out my fanny, after it accidentally popped up there. Lots of lovely advice, I felt bad explaining it wasn’t real

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By *ravelling TogMan
over a year ago

sleaford

Apart from the usual guys moaning that no one ever meets status' the funniest I've seen is "has anyone seen my dog. Goes by the name of Alan. If we've met you'll know him".

Gave me so many questions on what role Alan played in the bedroom.

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

The ones that name another profile begging them to message

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Saw one from a bloke saying he would do anything for 10 ciggies delivering...

Another from a man saying how he was sat on fab,across from his wife and she had no idea

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Saw one from a bloke saying he would do anything for 10 ciggies delivering...

Another from a man saying how he was sat on fab,across from his wife and she had no idea

Miss"

The latter one is vile, the poor wife

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Just seen one asking for a loan

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By *tradesmanMan
over a year ago

colchester

A single woman has this as her current status.

"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A single woman has this as her current status.

"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature " "

In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I see a few local women complaining about being let down and timewasters.

Stop choosing arseholes then.

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

There used to be a lady near me who kept popping up on updates offering blowjobs in exchange for lifts to and from town

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By *tradesmanMan
over a year ago

colchester


"A single woman has this as her current status.

"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "

In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"

Ok fair enough, but not look or respond to msgs........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There used to be a lady near me who kept popping up on updates offering blowjobs in exchange for lifts to and from town"

How much petrol did u do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a few local women complaining about being let down and timewasters.

Stop choosing arseholes then.

"

Its painful and time-consuming process

It took me a long time to find the right person

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster


"There used to be a lady near me who kept popping up on updates offering blowjobs in exchange for lifts to and from town

How much petrol did u do? "

Pffft. She was...(racking brains for a diplomatic answer) less than attractive? Could be described as plain, on a dark night, from a distance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A single woman has this as her current status.

"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "

In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"

The chanced of him picking your status

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Apart from the usual guys moaning that no one ever meets status' the funniest I've seen is "has anyone seen my dog. Goes by the name of Alan. If we've met you'll know him".

Gave me so many questions on what role Alan played in the bedroom. "

Yes that is a odd one! I hope he found Alan though

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Status updates you say.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a few local women complaining about being let down and timewasters.

Stop choosing arseholes then.

"

Yeh, like the say they are an arse hole on their profile, devious liars most of them but it can take time for true colours to show!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There used to be a lady near me who kept popping up on updates offering blowjobs in exchange for lifts to and from town

How much petrol did u do?

Pffft. She was...(racking brains for a diplomatic answer) less than attractive? Could be described as plain, on a dark night, from a distance?"

That describes me but I’ve never offered bj’s for lifts.

Wonder how well that could go. Imagine the bus fare I’d save every week

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By *houldibedoingthis!Man
over a year ago

london


"Apart from the usual guys moaning that no one ever meets status' the funniest I've seen is "has anyone seen my dog. Goes by the name of Alan. If we've met you'll know him".

Gave me so many questions on what role Alan played in the bedroom. "

Must have been a sausage dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A single woman has this as her current status.

"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "

In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"

I doubt that very much. You're hot! Would much prefer playing with you over watching a video

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By *estivalMan
over a year ago

borehamwood


"A single woman has this as her current status.

"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "

In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"

i dont think you got any worries on that front

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Those along the lines of 'Anyone on the.36 Hull to Basingstoke train today?'

For a social meet, a long distance train journey is probably not the best and sex is unlikely too, as it's not an overnight sleeper service. Limited chance to escape, if they're scary etc and your booking arrangement allows for no changes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a guy message me yest saying my morning updates always make him smile and realise hes not alone (usually asking best place to sell the crotch goblins haha) weve had a really nice chat since

Had one guy basically go off on me telling me its a sex site and not facebook and my statuses should all be sex related

Sure ill join the ranks of the "bored, horny and desp for a shag" people

My statuses always get a decent reaction and ive met some really nice people thro them

Theres a local *lady* and i use that term vvvvveeeerrryyyyyy loosely haha whos always calling out people for being fakes/time wasters, yet i dont think ive spoken to anyone in the local area whos not had issues with her! She even took it upon her self to message blokes ive met having a go at them for not meeting her some people haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A single woman has this as her current status.

"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "

In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"

What come to the northwest hun coz I'd meet you your stunning x

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By *ellsuitedMan
over a year ago

Elstree

What new fab video feature?
"A single woman has this as her current status.

"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature " "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Currently on my looked at list are 2 amusing statuses

"Do I really have to go to work"

And

"I found the tightest pussy on Fab"

Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a few local women complaining about being let down and timewasters.

Stop choosing arseholes then.

"

Surely they didn't know they were arseholes until they let them or wasted their time?

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way


"I see a few local women complaining about being let down and timewasters.

Stop choosing arseholes then.

Surely they didn't know they were arseholes until they let them or wasted their time? "

Pretty much what I thought!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read my local ones and this made me giggle ... "Roses are red, so are your lips. Sit on my face and wiggle those hips"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just read my local ones and this made me giggle ... "Roses are red, so are your lips. Sit on my face and wiggle those hips" "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Saw one from a bloke saying he would do anything for 10 ciggies delivering...

Another from a man saying how he was sat on fab,across from his wife and she had no idea

Miss"

That is low, poor woman

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