FabSwingers.com forum: Red flags

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

Definitely the kids one...

nope, no, not happening. Huge red flag xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they never ask about you but love tell you all about them

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

The last time I took a big red flag on a date it was seen as a negative. Luke

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By *hank you sirMan
over a year ago

colchester

How about when you call them and they don't pick up, but they instantly text you asking what's wrong? That knew does me in

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The last time I took a big red flag on a date it was seen as a negative. Luke "

well it did block everyone's view in the cinema

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By *utchersDogMan
over a year ago

Orpington

"He has kids he doesn't take care of or see."

There's a whole lot of reasons for this.

Some fathers are bad or abusive, some mothers use the kids as a weapon to hurt their ex by withholding contact, others are fighting to see their kids and some just don't care.

Don't make the mistake of judging them all the same way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a few where they just let me pay for everything and seem to expect it. I'm a bit old fashioned so I will always offer, but when it's way down the line and you realise they've not even once offered to buy you a drink in month's and you've paid for every date from start to finish..... same with travelling or driving..... lazy isn't attractive.....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If I was dating red flags would be

being creepy and clingy, mansplaining, using phrases like "typical woman", being nasty about previous lovers, referring to an ex wife as "the witch" or similar, any form of bigotry, an assumption that his political views were mine, a comb over, cargo pants and dirty shoes.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I have loads to be honest. I lose interest in men very quickly as a result. My main ones are:

Too clingy

Drink too much

Talk shit about their parents

Don’t make effort to see their kids

Talk shit about kids mum

Aggressive

Argumentative

Chat the shit but don’t follow it up

Liars

If i get a gut feeling about someone then i bin them off. My gut instinct is usually shit hot.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""He has kids he doesn't take care of or see."

There's a whole lot of reasons for this.

Some fathers are bad or abusive, some mothers use the kids as a weapon to hurt their ex by withholding contact, others are fighting to see their kids and some just don't care.

Don't make the mistake of judging them all the same way. "

Oh I don't but from experience guys don't have there kids because they think they are getting back at their exes. The ones who are genuine are usually the ones fighting to see their kids.

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

"I've had a few where they just let me pay for everything and seem to expect it. I'm a bit old fashioned so I will always offer, but when it's way down the line and you realise they've not even once offered to buy you a drink in month's and you've paid for every date from start to finish..... same with travelling or driving..... lazy isn't attractive.....

1st date you pay... Ok

2nd date they atleast offer to pay

You communicate this is getting expensive for you

3rd date they don't atleast pay their half

Tell them it's not working out because of the above and if they don't understand or more importantly don't care.

Delete their details

I've stuck to that and I've either dodged a massive maintenance payment each month or found someone new who doesn't see me as an atm

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

Women who have an overly clingy relationship with their father... Aka Princess issues

Women who have a distant relationship with the father...

Aka daddy issues

It's different if someone is aware of their behaviour and is trying to change.

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By *utchersDogMan
over a year ago

Orpington

Oh I don't but from experience guys don't have there kids because they think they are getting back at their exes. The ones who are genuine are usually the ones fighting to see their kids."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1st date you pay... Ok

2nd date they atleast offer to pay

You communicate this is getting expensive for you

3rd date they don't atleast pay their half

Tell them it's not working out because of the above and if they don't understand or more importantly don't care.

Delete their details

I've stuck to that and I've either dodged a massive maintenance payment each month or found someone new who doesn't see me as an atm"

I dont mind paying more, that's not the issue, especially if I can or she cant afford it, but it's women who don't pay anything at all or don't even offer that bug me. Just nasty.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1st date you pay... Ok

2nd date they atleast offer to pay

You communicate this is getting expensive for you

3rd date they don't atleast pay their half

Tell them it's not working out because of the above and if they don't understand or more importantly don't care.

Delete their details

I've stuck to that and I've either dodged a massive maintenance payment each month or found someone new who doesn't see me as an atm

I dont mind paying more, that's not the issue, especially if I can or she cant afford it, but it's women who don't pay anything at all or don't even offer that bug me. Just nasty....."

Can’t believe people do that. I don’t offer I insist.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Red flags are normally obvious before meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1.1) Avoid the broken ones who say it's casual but then get jealous over the most minor things and want to own you..... ....and ffs whatever you do just realise you cannot fix them, that's for them to work out... harsh but wise words....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did I think this was about period sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Red flags are normally obvious before meeting "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why did I think this was about period sex"

Red flag^

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"1.1) Avoid the broken ones who say it's casual but then get jealous over the most minor things and want to own you..... ....and ffs whatever you do just realise you cannot fix them, that's for them to work out... harsh but wise words....

This is so true.

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

"When they never ask about you but love tell you all about them

This ....annoys the hell out of me

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

When they still live at home with their parents

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they lie about their age!

Or lie in general!

Buy labelled clothes to look wealthy but doesn’t have enough money to buy an egg sandwich!

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

Any dishonesty.

Any form of manipulation.. When you say no yet they try and get you to change your mind

Lack of effort interest.. takes two to date.

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

"When they never ask about you but love tell you all about them

This ....annoys the hell out of me "

Thats a narcissist. They have either never been told they are

Or more likely... Its the curse of narcissism they can't actually see or accept see they are narcissists

I just excuse myself mid date with these ones.

You'll only be banging your head a against a wall inside their own echo chamber trying to lead them out

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By * Waterford GentMan
over a year ago

waterford

"Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

I went on a date last year and got asked how much I earn, did I own my own house or rent, what type of car did I drive and how much maintenance did I pay for the kids weekly. Still not sure if it was a date or a loan application

There wasn’t a second date

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

When they omit to say they're married.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When they still live at home with their parents

In this day and age I don't see the problem with that.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"When they still live at home with their parents

In this day and age I don't see the problem with that."

You haven't met my parents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

There wasn’t a second date

Absolutely nobody on the planet except my boss and HR know how much I earn, and that will never change, it's just rude and judgemental!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

26 years happily single for jolly good reasons ... ^^^ see above lol

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

"Any dishonesty.

Any form of manipulation.. When you say no yet they try and get you to change your mind

Lack of effort interest.. takes two to date.

With u on this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When they still live at home with their parents

In this day and age I don't see the problem with that.

You haven't met my parents.

Ha ha

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

When they act like your boyfriend from very early on or lay it on thick hinting about future plans when you barely know each other.

Exhibiting signs of baggage/negativity on a first date... if that’s how they set out to impress, that shit aint going to get any better!

Any kind of slut shaming or bigotry

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

When they say one thing and act the opposite.

Walk away... x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When they act like your boyfriend from very early on or lay it on thick hinting about future plans when you barely know each other.

Exhibiting signs of baggage/negativity on a first date... if that’s how they set out to impress, that shit aint going to get any better!

Any kind of slut shaming or bigotry "

Very good points.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When they go out of their way to slag off their ex at every opportunity

It's not a good look.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"When they go out of their way to slag off their ex at every opportunity

Some just can’t seem to let go

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

"When they go out of their way to slag off their ex at every opportunity

Or when they continually talk about their ex

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"When they go out of their way to slag off their ex at every opportunity

Yes! I get it, sometimes exes and things aren't great. But constantly wittering on about it is such a no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When they go out of their way to slag off their ex at every opportunity

Agree with that wholeheartedly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

"
Golly gosh that’s a lot !!! Did this actually happen ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When they never ask about you but love tell you all about them

"
yes had that a couple of times

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

When they act all weird and strange. Like a psycho!!

This place has some scary folk at times.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

There wasn’t a second date

I wonder why .. hahahhaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be carfull with red flags a lot of bull on here

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

"When they go out of their way to slag off their ex at every opportunity

It's not a good look.

Airing ones dirty laundry in public is never a good look

Did you fall out with that lady over your anal changed comment?"

That wasn't me Mavis

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

She brings the vicar along with her to discuss available dates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they can never meet or chat on the phone.

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

When they are triggered by lots of "their" red flags

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"When they go out of their way to slag off their ex at every opportunity

Exit stage left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they order a mixed fruit kopparberg.I just know then

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

If their phone is always kept face-down

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

My dogs don't like them

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Anyone who uses phrases like mansplaining or typical man or man spreading. You know sexist people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

Golly gosh that’s a lot !!! Did this actually happen ?"

Yea it has.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When they order a mixed fruit kopparberg.I just know then "

Loooool

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When they order a mixed fruit kopparberg.I just know then

Loooool

I don't get it

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By *urvyandCurious999Woman
over a year ago

Hiding from twats

"My dogs don't like them "

Lots of my social meets have been going for dog walks for this exact reason. They just know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My dogs don't like them

Lots of my social meets have been going for dog walks for this exact reason. They just know. "

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

When they turn right instead of left

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When they turn right instead of left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

Definitely the kids one...

nope, no, not happening. Huge red flag xx"

Haven't seen my kids in 18 months due to my toxic ex.....is that my fault...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1st date you pay... Ok

2nd date they atleast offer to pay

You communicate this is getting expensive for you

3rd date they don't atleast pay their half

Tell them it's not working out because of the above and if they don't understand or more importantly don't care.

Delete their details

I've stuck to that and I've either dodged a massive maintenance payment each month or found someone new who doesn't see me as an atm"

I let the guy pay for the first date but then I pay for the second.

After that I prefer to split it.

Never been materialistic, it’s not a need for me to have a guy to be financially wealthy x

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By *nderIwonder.Man
over a year ago

2nd City

"Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

Utter nonsense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Red flags during dating?

When he is flash with money and insists on paying for everything but has no job.

When he messages you like 10 times in 30 minutes because you didn't get a chance to reply to his last message.

They text but never call.

When they soot down all your opinions and interests. Yes you can disagree but when they try hard to get you to agree with them.

Wants to know about your financial situation on a first date.

You always wonder when you'll see him again or when he will text again.

He has kids he doesn't take care of or see.

What's yours?

Utter nonsense."

To you maybe

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