FabSwingers.com forum: CBT, your experience...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Morning.

There’s been a few mental health threads recently, which is fantastic to see. So many of us struggle.

I’m starting CBT in two weeks and I’m looking forward to finally getting started. I’m nervous about it too.

Have you tried it? How have you found it? What should I expect? Would love to hear your thoughts, folks.

Thanks x

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I’ve no experience BL. But I wish you well with hugs and kisses x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve no experience BL. But I wish you well with hugs and kisses x"

Thanks juicy x

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I’ve never tried it. Please bring back all you’ve learned so I can benefit without the cost

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve never tried it. Please bring back all you’ve learned so I can benefit without the cost

All I’m aware of so far is that it will be a 9 week course, broken down into modules. 8 weeks straight, then back after a 3 week ‘break’. I’ll be in a group of 4 people. It’s free, otherwise I couldn’t afford it.

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By *amie4funTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

I hope all goes well. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not had any experience of CBT but hope it works well for you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry forgive me being stupid, but i thought cbt was a motorbike test, am i missing something?

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By *euschMan
over a year ago

peterborough

This thread is totally not what I thought it was

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By *inja 636Man
over a year ago

Grays

"Morning.

There’s been a few mental health threads recently, which is fantastic to see. So many of us struggle.

I’m starting CBT in two weeks and I’m looking forward to finally

getting started. I’m nervous about it too.

Have you tried it? How have you found it? What should I expect? Would love to hear your thoughts, folks.

Thanks x"

CBT is very powerful in the right mindset if your ready to change your thought process this is a winner however if you dont get on with your therapist dont let this experience cloud your view or goal we can't click with everyone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seemed helpful for me, but you have to really commit to it to get a benefit from it.

The last time round it didn't help me as much because there were specific things that happened to make my mental health worse and it doesn't really do anything to help with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it depends what you are using it for. I found it bit restrictive, too rigid, too formulaic ? But there are some positive bits I still managed to use on so called 'good day'.. we were taught (group therapy) lots of useful exercises to do at home.. its about reframing your thinking habits, learning new thinking patterns so your bottom bad beliefs about yourself dont get triggered by similar events... It didnt really have a major efect on me, but I put some things in a tool box. Group was brilliant and that was a massive support in itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never took that avenue but a good friend did...stay strong, understand it will be very hard and emotions will go very haywire at any time . For me I learned to own my tears in other words if upset in public let it flow and process don't worry or fuss about people around you..if something needs to come out don't box it or hide it just let it run. When it hits me, bites me in the ass I now let it run, I write it in poetry and if, like the other day someone sees me broken, don't hide it...oh and don't lock yourself away...wish you all the very best...cleansing is good..my saviour is dance and music...dance your emotions out...take care xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"sorry forgive me being stupid, but i thought cbt was a motorbike test, am i missing something?"

Cognitive behavioral therapy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had to do a google search to understand what CBT means in this context. Be careful when you use acronyms on this forum

Back to the topic, it looks pretty good from what I read. All the best to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, but it was quite a while ago now and it didn't make much of a difference but I did struggle to open up to the woman as she was very judgemental. I would say go in and be as open as you can be. I remember the first couple of sessions were more about getting to know me and then after that it's working on how to spot patterns in your behaviour and trying to look at things in a different way.

I have a couple of friends who have had cbt and it has had a positive impact on them! I hope it goes well for you lovely Boldy!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just read your comment about group of 4. That's good. Nice and intimate for sharing things. But again you are never forced to share if you dont want to. Hope it's helpful to you.. and yes it requires lots of perseverance and committing to your self work.. like others said.

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By *bcums3Couple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

"Morning.

There’s been a few mental health threads recently, which is fantastic to see. So many of us struggle.

I’m starting CBT in two weeks and I’m looking forward to finally getting started. I’m nervous about it too.

Have you tried it? How have you found it? What should I expect? Would love to hear your thoughts, folks.

Haven’t tried it but have family who have and it was the best thing for them to do, great success and was so right for them...wish you luck xx

Thanks x"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the comments everyone

I’m going into this with an open mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sorry forgive me being stupid, but i thought cbt was a motorbike test, am i missing something?

Cognitive behavioral therapy"

thanks for that, well good luck xx

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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

I'm both CBT trained and have experienced it used on myself. It can be very powerful if you fully engage with it. Depending on what you're dealing with, you may be liberated, or find you need more of that, or something else.

Go with an open mind and a determination to find your path of happiness and you will achieve amazing things.

Best wishes xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought this was about cock and ball torture!

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes

I clicked on here because I thought CBT was cock and ball torture... shows where my mind is at 0900hrs!

I have had a bit of cognitive behaviour therapy and also linguistic behaviour therapy... the latter is what works better for me.

I hope you find your therapy sessions of benefit and a positive experience for you... both now and in the future. X

Thank you for bringing my mind out of the gutter x

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

At first I found it rather difficult in all honesty, I'm not one for talking about the odd aspie thought processes I have. Stick with it though and it does get easier and better - I don't think I'd have finished my Masters without it. Be brutally honest about how you feel, how you think about things. It still helps me to this day, I can reframe and stop negative thoughts and my anxiety making things too overwhelming for me.

Reflect on it after a session as well - it might be difficult but that chance to process things is invaluable. Oh and don't be too hard on yourself if one thing doesn't work for you. Try a different approach. Best of luck with it, I'm here for you if needed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Boldy,

My daughter did a year of CBT after a borderline personality disorder diagnosis about 4 years ago. It was alot if commitment but it was fantastic for her. She has since completely turned her life around. Job, relationship, etc.

But most importantly she is happy in herself.

As with anything what you get out of it is in proportion to what you put in.

Best of luck

X Puddles

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes

"I thought this was about cock and ball torture! "

Nice pic.

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By *orth_hantscplCouple
over a year ago

camberley

I had a 10 week session about 12 years ago and still use tools I learnt now, it’s like any changes that you make in that you have to be ready to try and implement them into your life. It worked for me, good luck and take care x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had CBT and it was helpful, it gave me coping mechanisms to utilise which was a lifesaver.

For me it was not the answer but part of the answer; talking therapies, anti-depressants and physical exercise all played a part for me.

My advice is go for it 100%, don’t hold back and be completely open. Your rapport and relationship with your therapist are key, if you don’t feel comfortable with them then you won’t get the best out of the sessions.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I did a course of CBT 11 years ago. Like any therapy, some parts of it will speak to you more than others. I found it invaluable at a time when I was at my lowest with anxiety i.e. unable to function beyond the basic minimum. You have to fully immerse yourself which gave me the structure I needed at that point in my life. I still use some tools from it today when I find myself falling into negative thought patterns. The biggest positive for me was the opportunity to really examine and get to know myself more than I ever had, which was painful at the time, but which I have found to be hugely beneficial since then.

I hope you find it useful and take some positives from it. Good luck.

Mrs TMN xx

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Did mine on a honda SS50.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes iv had it, i actually stopped it tbh.

I liked how it taught me coping mechanisms but as with most therapy it was helpful to me but not very helpful to my family ,it only accommodated my needs which meant my families needs were getting shelved, with a then, 7,8 &9 year old that wasnt an option x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really helped me ,but you ave to be ready in mind and body because it's very intense

Really opened my eyes,good luck Boldy x

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Hold on. This isn't about compulsory basic training for motorcycle riders, or Cock and Ball Torture, what is it about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought this was about cock and ball torture!

Nice pic. "

Thanks. Let’s chat? Pm me

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By *estSussexGuy76Man
over a year ago

copthorne

"Morning.

There’s been a few mental health threads recently, which is fantastic to see. So many of us struggle.

I’m starting CBT in two weeks and I’m looking forward to finally getting started. I’m nervous about it too.

Have you tried it? How have you found it? What should I expect? Would love to hear your thoughts, folks.

Thanks x"

I tried this about 11 years ago but felt it wasn't the right course I needed.

So I decided to go private and for 3 years I finally ended up where I needed to be ...

Good luck with it, if you ever need a chat just drop me a message and I will be more than happy to discuss my personal experience in more detail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Morning.

There’s been a few mental health threads recently, which is fantastic to see. So many of us struggle.

I’m starting CBT in two weeks and I’m looking forward to finally getting started. I’m nervous about it too.

Have you tried it? How have you found it? What should I expect? Would love to hear your thoughts, folks.

Thanks x"

I found the group fantastic and kept in touch afterwards ... a support network formed over sharing some lessons and experiences.

There are some bits really helpful ... exercise and sleep especially.

Try and join in and be positive with the group ... take a nugget of information from each session and try and do something with it over the week in between.

CBT does work ... but it does take time.

Big hugs and good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m glad I did this thread now. Thanks for sharing your experiences, the good and bad.

I’m prepared to be open about everything going into this. X

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By *estSussexGuy76Man
over a year ago

copthorne

"I’m glad I did this thread now. Thanks for sharing your experiences, the good and bad.

I’m prepared to be open about everything going into this. X"

That's all you can be..... It's not easy but you making the first step in going is a great start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m glad I did this thread now. Thanks for sharing your experiences, the good and bad.

I’m prepared to be open about everything going into this. X"

Many have already said it, but this is so brave of you and you have support from so many people on here. If you ever want to off load or vent then I am here as well as so many others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *illingVicMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

I have been through all three types of CBT.

I failed the motorbike one and enjoyed the bedroom one immensely... but that’s not the point of the thread (nobody ask about the former please, it would be both derailing and embarrassing).

For the therapeutic version, I must say that although at the time I found the whole process invasive and, truth be told, a little facile, some of the points the lady raised did hit home after a while and I found that months after completing our sessions I was actually beginning to make progress.

Point of comment: be open minded and don’t expect immediate results

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By *utchersDogMan
over a year ago

Orpington

Cbt and nlp are powerful tools to help people out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It didn't work for me, but that was probably due to the fact I wasn't right for it. Likewise counciling had no positive effects on me, as I said on another thread only you can see what's in your mind, and only you can diagnose if something is helpful or not.

Give it a go, throw yourself into it with good intent, then evaluate the results. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They told me i was to tightly wrapped for talking therapy lol!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

What is this thread about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is this thread about?"

A form of psychological treatment/therapy called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had CBT a while ago, not going to lie I found it hard to start off with, it’s never easy to open up about yourself. But as it went on I found it easier. Was really helpful and it was definitely worth the time. Keep strong! Here if anyone wants to chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is this thread about?"

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I've done it in a group and 1-2-1, has to be said that as a group thing it didn't help me. That said, your group is very small so it might be better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had various forms of counselling over the years to combat old trauma and patterns. CBT is like an objective person you can vomit your thoughts at and they tie them up and give them back. You might get homework that’s designed to get you thinking about how to address and change patterns of thinking. It helps if you connect with the counsellor, which doesn’t always happen. If it doesn’t, don’t give up and write it off as a good fit really helps.

Good luck! - Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh also, sometimes if there’s a deep pain that comes to the surface, it can leave you hurting and irritable after a session and make you want to quit. That’s your chance to apply new coping skills to old problems and hopefully come out better from it. You can always message me if you need to. -Mrs

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By *ackenzie-LeighWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

I've tried it. It wasn't for me. Probably because it was with a shrink younger than I was at the time. And I just felt like she didn't really have a clue what my issues were. I get on better with counsellors because they've usually experienced mental health issues or some form of trauma, so a lot of their knowledge comes from experience not from a text book.

Good luck with your sessions, feel free to let us know how you find it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh also, sometimes if there’s a deep pain that comes to the surface, it can leave you hurting and irritable after a session and make you want to quit. That’s your chance to apply new coping skills to old problems and hopefully come out better from it. You can always message me if you need to. -Mrs "

So this! Such a hard part to go through. Make sure you have some time to reflect after, maybe rest or treat yourself somehow, and remember it's just a part of reinventing your mind and all the pathways. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And one more thing.. as others mentioned it.. I have asked to change therapist before when it was 1:1, so dont give up if you don't get along. They will understand.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And one more thing.. as others mentioned it.. I have asked to change therapist before when it was 1:1, so dont give up if you don't get along. They will understand. "

I’ll definitely keep this in mind! Xx

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By *abrina59TV/TS
over a year ago

moved to cuckold land

Lol sorry I thought at first was about Cock 7 ball Torture (My mind lol)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guys, I hope you don’t think I’m being rude by not replying to you all individually. I’m very appreciative of all your comments, advice etc. I just don’t want to clog up the thread with my own comments.

So happy you’re all sharing, and hopefully others might take some positives from this too.

Thank you all! Xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It didn't help me. But it does help many people. Go, be open minded, work hard, but be prepared to look for other methods.

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By *ieandteaseMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"sorry forgive me being stupid, but i thought cbt was a motorbike test, am i missing something?"

I'll say it too, I thought it was Cock & Ball Torture. Imagine a months course in that, wow!

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By *ieandteaseMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"Lol sorry I thought at first was about Cock 7 ball Torture (My mind lol)"

With you there Baby x

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By *ockedandloaded888Man
over a year ago

ayr

I thought as this was a dating/ sex/swing site that you meant cock and ball torture. I have a fair amount of experience in that regard but can’t relate any experience of the CBT you are about embark on.

As with everything that is there to help you change, listen, evaluate and talk things through with someone before making snap decisions. That’s what your professional is there for.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had CBT, and I have to say it was rubbish. It was basically just talking about stuff with someone who had no idea about the problems I faced and very little real world experience. She just churned out the same platitudes that everybody else had learned on the same course she had taken. She also burst into tears when I described some of things I had experienced. I tried a different therapist and the stuff they came out with was exactly the same as the first idiot. Waste of time for me.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

OP, happy to chat privately if you PM me. Upsides and downsides from my experience.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I'm both CBT trained and have experienced it used on myself. It can be very powerful if you fully engage with it. Depending on what you're dealing with, you may be liberated, or find you need more of that, or something else.

Go with an open mind and a determination to find your path of happiness and you will achieve amazing things.

Best wishes xx"

I agree with this, as with any form of development, it's about what you invest in it.

If you do the exercises, commit to it and do the hard work (because it can be) then you'll come out with what you want.

I think that some people don't get much from CBT or counselling because they think it's going to be a magic wand and the work will be done for them, that's not the case. If you engage and commit, then it will give you the tools you need to help yourself.

I hope it goes well for you Boldy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck hun

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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I found it very helpful and it helped me get back on track.

However, it only works if you are ready to change your mindset and the way you think. You have to want it to understand it, if that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is totally not what I thought it was "
same tbh

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Good luck with it, it will be tough going

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I found it very helpful and it helped me get back on track.

However, it only works if you are ready to change your mindset and the way you think. You have to want it to understand it, if that makes sense? "

Yes, but it also doesn't work for everyone, unfortunately, despite best efforts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As above... it wasnt about lack of efforts..

it wasn't the right fit for the things I have been facing. There are other options.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I found it very helpful and it helped me get back on track.

However, it only works if you are ready to change your mindset and the way you think. You have to want it to understand it, if that makes sense? "

Makes perfect sense x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work in the Mental health sector and hear nothing but good things about it. Enjoy it and I wish you luck. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not be scared of facing your worst traumas or fears as without over coming them it will not be of benefit .

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By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

"sorry forgive me being stupid, but i thought cbt was a motorbike test, am i missing something?

Cognitive behavioral therapy"

Well I was wrong on both my meanings for CBT. First was cock and ball torture second was to do with motorbike test. Learn something new every day.

Anyway good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv just started a DBT course. It's 48 weeks long and 4 1/2 hours of group and one to one sessions. Plus a lot of home practice. It's all very overwhelming to be honest but iv waited 3 years for this and it is helpful just very hard.

It's a bit much for me at the moment to be honest. Iv been really struggling and the effort of pretending to OK and put a front up is exhausting.

I'm sorry to rant on your thread and I wish you all the best with the CBT OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Iv just started a DBT course. It's 48 weeks long and 4 1/2 hours of group and one to one sessions. Plus a lot of home practice. It's all very overwhelming to be honest but iv waited 3 years for this and it is helpful just very hard.

It's a bit much for me at the moment to be honest. Iv been really struggling and the effort of pretending to OK and put a front up is exhausting.

I'm sorry to rant on your thread and I wish you all the best with the CBT OP. "

That sounds very intense, but also quite .. holistic approach..for the lack of better word .. the beginnings are the hardest. Stick with it. It's a bit of a catharsis experience.. making way for new thinking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's a bit much for me at the moment to be honest. Iv been really struggling and the effort of pretending to OK and put a front up is exhausting.

I'm sorry to rant on your thread and I wish you all the best with the CBT OP. "

Rant away, Lorna

I hope things get better for you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck BG x

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By *rebs001Man
over a year ago

Widnes

I struggled with it, esp the writing of stuff....know what I'm thinking but it's just trying to put it all into written word as most time it came out completely different to how I was thinking it.

in the end i kind of just fell by the wayside and tried doing things my way.....so now have good days and bad days and a major lack of sleep.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good luck BG x"

Thanks SB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

CBT has mixed results and when effective often only lasts up to around 5 years.

It’s worth engaging with it as it may give you good results- all depends on how good the therapist is, how well you two connect and how committed you are.

Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) is very good and worth looking into, as is ACT

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

If you need to chat feel free to PM me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"CBT has mixed results and when effective often only lasts up to around 5 years.

It’s worth engaging with it as it may give you good results- all depends on how good the therapist is, how well you two connect and how committed you are.

Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) is very good and worth looking into, as is ACT

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

If you need to chat feel free to PM me."

Do you mind if i PM you too, please?

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I've had it, the guy used light therapy as well. I only went twice, I have to admit I was making stuff up, he must have thought I was a proper weirdo. The truth is I probably wasn't ready to talk about what had happened.

I hope you find it helpful BG x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I done about 6 months of CBT last year. It's helped a lot. I've gained some new 'tools' and worked out how to used some existing ones properly. It doesn't work for everyone and you have to be ready and open to it, for it to work.

Fuzz

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Best of luck, OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I did it it was a group of about 20 over 6 weeks and by the end about half the group had dropped out. I found a lot if it irrelevant to me but the bits that were beneficial were quite literally life changing. Sadly too many people dropped out seemingly focussing on the irrelevant bits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends entirely on you, if you commit to it then you'll get alot out of it. Its also dependant on the therapist and the problems which caused you to go for CBT. Everyone who ive dealt with before and after CBT has a noticeable improvement though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"CBT has mixed results and when effective often only lasts up to around 5 years.

It’s worth engaging with it as it may give you good results- all depends on how good the therapist is, how well you two connect and how committed you are.

Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) is very good and worth looking into, as is ACT

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

If you need to chat feel free to PM me.

Do you mind if i PM you too, please? "

That’s fine, I’ll wink you or you’ll not get through my filters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IV gone through private therapy for mental health and anger management

It does work

I found each session mentally draining but we'll worth it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"CBT has mixed results and when effective often only lasts up to around 5 years.

It’s worth engaging with it as it may give you good results- all depends on how good the therapist is, how well you two connect and how committed you are.

Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) is very good and worth looking into, as is ACT

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

If you need to chat feel free to PM me."

What happens after 5 years?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"IV gone through private therapy for mental health and anger management

It does work

I found each session mentally draining but we'll worth it"

I found my initial consultation so draining, I slept 12 hours straight, that’s so unlike me. I can imagine this will be similar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally it did nothing for me.

The 7 years I spent on meds in a black hole of depression and anxiety were related to things out of my control that I had to deal with and couldn't avoid.

Thankfully it's all improved and I've been med free for 6 months now.

Doesn't mean it won't work for you OP, hope it does.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally it did nothing for me.

The 7 years I spent on meds in a black hole of depression and anxiety were related to things out of my control that I had to deal with and couldn't avoid.

Thankfully it's all improved and I've been med free for 6 months now.

Doesn't mean it won't work for you OP, hope it does.

Glad you’ve improved, and thanks

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

OP. If you ever want to chat you can always message me. Im a good listener.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP. If you ever want to chat you can always message me. Im a good listener.

Kind of you, Chunky, thank you! Xx

Thanks to you all

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