FabSwingers.com forum: Why do people wink and not message?

By *isaAndNicoleTrans OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

Just following up a thread the other day that revealed that a large number of people don't even look at their winks I just wonder why people wink and not just send a message instead?

Are they just being lazy? Or is there another reason?

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By *iscrete77Man
over a year ago

King’s Lynn

I wink to show interest if I get wink back then usually I will message them but what I don’t understand is when they wink and you message them why do they then ignore the message ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God knows. I reply to winks sometimes, "hey, you winked, never know what to say to a wink, how's the weather in...." and then no reply as if I've approached them.

It's just odd...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wink to show interest if I get wink back then usually I will message them but what I don’t understand is when they wink and you message them why do they then ignore the message ?"

Ha. Snap

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By *rAngleseyMan
over a year ago

Anglesey

(1) Lazy

(2) Not what they are looking for

(3) unable to write words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they are shy and view winking as the online version of

"Hey you, my friend fancies you" xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a wee wink!

It's better than a basic "hi".

It's kind of a cheeky way of saying, I think your hot! X

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By *iscrete77Man
over a year ago

King’s Lynn

"(1) Lazy

(2) Not what they are looking for

(3) unable to write words"

It’s not lazy in my opinion it’s a show of interest why send a message to be rejected before you know they could be interested in you that’s what winks are meant for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to wink. Shows interest, if we get a wink back we most likely message then

Guess it’s laziness, saves us a load of time messaging people who aren’t interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we had a couples profile.....HATED...long winded messages from guys...whole life stories and then " what they would do" if we met! Zzzzzzzz a wee wink would have been better! X

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By *isaAndNicoleTrans OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

"I love a wee wink!

It's better than a basic "hi".

It's kind of a cheeky way of saying, I think your hot! X"

Is that true though? Wouldn't you prefer a message? Surely that's better?

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan
over a year ago

Lincoln

"I wink to show interest if I get wink back then usually I will message them but what I don’t understand is when they wink and you message them why do they then ignore the message ?

Ha. Snap "

Ditto

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By *anSMan
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Much like has been said already, it’s like an expression of interest.

Some people might prefer to send winks, because they don’t like rejection, as you can’t tell if the recipient has seen it.

If you don’t get a wink back, don’t pursue it any further..

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By *isaAndNicoleTrans OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

"I wink to show interest if I get wink back then usually I will message them but what I don’t understand is when they wink and you message them why do they then ignore the message ?"

Doesn't a message "show interest" too?

I'm not trying to be controversial by the way I just don't understand the point of winking instead of messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who cares winks are easier to ignore if you choose to ignore if you choose to or reply to of you choose that without it interfere with on going conversations on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just following up a thread the other day that revealed that a large number of people don't even look at their winks I just wonder why people wink and not just send a message instead?

Are they just being lazy? Or is there another reason? "

Easy none intrusive way of catching someones attention ?

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By *isaAndNicoleTrans OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

"Much like has been said already, it’s like an expression of interest.

Some people might prefer to send winks, because they don’t like rejection, as you can’t tell if the recipient has seen it.

If you don’t get a wink back, don’t pursue it any further.."

But you are taking the lack of a wink back as a sign of no interest. What the thread revealed the other day is that many women and couples don't even look at them. So it's not that they aren't interested, it's just that they haven't even looked. You could be missing out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never used do, now I do occasionally. I guess it functions as a more subtle introduction, although I realise the vast majority are ignored.

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By *nglander2000Man
over a year ago

NORTHAMPTON NEAR M1 JCN 15A

Years on here have taught me that even the most expertly crafted message will be ignored if the person to whom it is directed is either not interested or is lacking the manners to give a civil 'no thankyou' - a wink signifies interest and a genuine recipient would normally determine THEIR interest by scanning the profile and either winking or messaging appropriately - that is my rationale for winking - those who ignore winks are probably missing out - more fool them !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When ever we get a wink we always nessagw saying thanks or no thanks

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By *anhung22Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Hi fabbers

I think winks a good starting point,if no response move on.

Been here on and off few yrs in my experience some people are so arrogant,disrespectful can't even muster a simple NO THANKS reply.

"Now that's what I call lazy"

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By *rAngleseyMan
over a year ago

Anglesey

"Hi fabbers

I think winks a good starting point,if no response move on.

Been here on and off few yrs in my experience some people are so arrogant,disrespectful can't even muster a simple NO THANKS reply.

"Now that's what I call lazy"

Some females & couples get hundreds of messages. They can not reply to them all. Take the hint.

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Sometimes you come across a profile where you like the look of them and there's no write up, nothing to go on to start a conversation so send a wink to show interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the point in sending messages when most people just ignore or delete them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes you come across a profile where you like the look of them and there's no write up, nothing to go on to start a conversation so send a wink to show interest"

This

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By *icetouch83Man
over a year ago

swansea

I'm a winker

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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

We send a wink to judge if any interest from them, as who wants to to spend time writing out a message to end up being ignored

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe they are shy and view winking as the online version of

"Hey you, my friend fancies you" xx"

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By *isaAndNicoleTrans OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

"Hi fabbers

I think winks a good starting point,if no response move on.

Been here on and off few yrs in my experience some people are so arrogant,disrespectful can't even muster a simple NO THANKS reply.

"Now that's what I call lazy"

You wink them, yet expect them to type you a reply?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I'm open to winks as such but if I respond to them then it indicates a mutual interest. Its just a way of trying to get a persons attention isn't it? An open invitation to engage.

If someone winked me and I winked back, I'd expect a message in return though. The expectation on guys to do all the chasing is rather lazy at times.

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By *Mids guyMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

Sometimes after sending several long messages to different people and not getting a single response the wink button comes into play! If then I get a response I’ll then send a message

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By *isaAndNicoleTrans OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

"What's the point in sending messages when most people just ignore or delete them?"

I agree Mavis and that's sort of the point of my question really as many people on another thread said that they just don't look at winks too.

Maybe we should have a system where we blow a loud trumpet down their ears

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

There are some people we're highly unlikely to meet because of distance or we're not what they are looking for, but I still like to give them an indication that I find them very attractive. There is little point in messaging them because I doubt it would go anywhere so a wink seems to be a harmless compliment. If we do float their boat at all they can respond but otherwise I just take it we aren't of interest to them.

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By *etamax197t6Man
over a year ago

preston

You get tired of sending messages that don't get replies. I'm not going to write an essay every time just to be ignored. it's just like saying hi to someone, if they wink back or message then we can chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was at a point where I didnt want to send a message because itd be ignored. So I went for lazy wink instead of rejection. If I got a wink back, it meant to me, that there was interest, so I'd then message.

Now, I dont even look at my own wink, because my mindset has changed. Who is near? Who looked at me? All irrelevant and stuff I dont care about.

If a profile stands out and I were in a place where I needed to look for someone new, I'd just message them.

I know why I was ignored before and have enough experience under my belt to know there's a strong chance it may not get read at all, read but ignored or deleted. So it doesnt wind me up or knock my self esteem. Just move onto the next attractive profile and see what happens with them.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Don’t message, don’t wink

Don’t smoke, don’t drink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"(1) Lazy

(2) Not what they are looking for

(3) unable to write words

It’s not lazy in my opinion it’s a show of interest why send a message to be rejected before you know they could be interested in you that’s what winks are meant for "

Exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love a wee wink!

It's better than a basic "hi".

It's kind of a cheeky way of saying, I think your hot! X

Is that true though? Wouldn't you prefer a message? Surely that's better? "

It is in my case and I also reference winks in my profile. I guess we are all different.

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By *dinSon99Man
over a year ago

East Northants

I will always send a wink first, if it’s returned then will message. I feel it’s a polite non pushy way of showing interest.

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By *anillaboyMan
over a year ago

london

"I wink to show interest if I get wink back then usually I will message them but what I don’t understand is when they wink and you message them why do they then ignore the message ?"

Touch down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the real world you would smile and look back or some such, this then allows for conversation. Most would not approach someone without eye contact, I think the wink is just a digital smile,if reciprocated you can start a chat.

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By *anillaboyMan
over a year ago

london

"I wink to show interest if I get wink back then usually I will message them but what I don’t understand is when they wink and you message them why do they then ignore the message ?

Doesn't a message "show interest" too?

I'm not trying to be controversial by the way I just don't understand the point of winking instead of messaging. "

Im just saying- If messaging is better than winking than Why admin doesn’t Take out that wink section.

If is there i think is because of a reason.

Most of the time i wink profile after i read them but is just because i found them hot or sexy or OMG in a good way but Im not theyr cup of tea from What profile says.

I send a wink i get no reply but atleast i know i spend one sec for that wink, i send a respectuos , decent and not one line message after i read profile and avoid everything that they don’t like ( wherever) no reply, but for this i spend like 2-3 min. I think u get my point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like it when someone winks... shows an interest, and I might not ordinarily message them because I think I’m not what they are looking for... it’s like an ice breaker

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By *ullpa72Man
over a year ago

Isle of Arran

If someone looks at my profile I will like as not check theirs .If I fancy them I will send a wink as an encouragement for them to message me . Sometime it may even work!!!

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