FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Find someone....

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know this has been said a number if times before but I'm going to say it again....

If your in a dark place, things feel like they're too much please find someone to talk to. There will be someone there to listen. A friend, a colleague, even a professional. Find someone. There will be someone ready to listen.

A friend of mine took an overdose and although i haven't really spoken to him recently I have reached out with a few silly messages recently and it breaks my heart thinking he thought he was so alone, that this was the only way.

We also need to check in with eachother more, really ask eachother how we are, take time and really listen. But not to those who we think are having a hard time to everyone. I really didn't see this coming, I never thought it would be him. In my eyes hes such a strong person, but even those ones need some time.

So, please check in with eachother and find someone to talk to.

My friend is 'okay' and is hopefully getting the help he needs but this is a wake up call for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"I know this has been said a number if times before but I'm going to say it again....

If your in a dark place, things feel like they're too much please find someone to talk to. There will be someone there to listen. A friend, a colleague, even a professional. Find someone. There will be someone ready to listen.

A friend of mine took an overdose and although i haven't really spoken to him recently I have reached out with a few silly messages recently and it breaks my heart thinking he thought he was so alone, that this was the only way.

We also need to check in with eachother more, really ask eachother how we are, take time and really listen. But not to those who we think are having a hard time to everyone. I really didn't see this coming, I never thought it would be him. In my eyes hes such a strong person, but even those ones need some time.

So, please check in with eachother and find someone to talk to.

My friend is 'okay' and is hopefully getting the help he needs but this is a wake up call for me. "

Agree with everything you've said here Doris. Glad to hear your friend is getting the assistance he needs.

I hope that you are well too?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve lost too many friends to suicide, it seems to be a thing here.

I guess it’s easy to get lost in your own life problems and people forget about people around them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not your fault OP. Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Timely post OP....

10th October is World Mental Health Day with this years focus on suicide, the WHO estimates someone every 40 seconds takes their life

If you want to reach out to someone but not sure how, type in World Mental Health Day and you’ll find resources to use.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its ok not to be ok

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So very true..often it is the strong that fall larely because people see only that side and believe them to be able to cope with anything and because they believe they should maintain this presence and not ask for help...as above mavis said it's not your fault and now you can help so move forward with your friend and Don t think backward...glad they re ok but now starts the long haul and hard haul of getting to the cause..just be there....this is from experience..my dance teacher would message me every morning and ask me for three things that made me smile that day..she showed me unbeknown to herself my treatment..the dance floor and she allowed me my tears on the dance floor with no judgement...it is a tough road both before and after the crisis point..to beat it one often must face the hardest battles and realise things that the brain , in its defence, locked away....I truly hope all goes well...hugs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry to hear your news and I hope your ok

Be as compassionate with yourself as you are with others x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard to reach out or read someone who is in such a dark place. I remember reading once that one wont be able to understand depression, until they can't stand their own presence in the very room they are in... so yeah, there is that in a simple words.. dont beat yourself up about not seeing things. Or not doing enough. Sometimes, and its not a fact.. just an opinion.. all you can do is to be a keeper of a space. A safe place they can come to.. when they can face talking about it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am really struggling to find a reason to keep going, Ptsd and bpd, make life so hard, being alone, the black dog is never far away,

It's like a shit horror movie, you can walk away but every time you go on a path you end back at the house.

Felling physical pain smells sights, are so real, so mentally exhausted now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any past trauma in your life can help you understand how you feel now

If you’re reliving events from the past it can seriously effect the way you think x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried everything, edmi, therapy, but there comes a time when you emotionally, get so, exhausted you just want a release, and a, way out,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m glad your friend is still around to get some help. There’s always light through the cracks and checking in with people is important

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tried everything, edmi, therapy, but there comes a time when you emotionally, get so, exhausted you just want a release, and a, way out, "

There is a reason for you to live

I know it x

Do you like animals ?

My little dog is a great therapist x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am really struggling to find a reason to keep going, Ptsd and bpd, make life so hard, being alone, the black dog is never far away,

It's like a shit horror movie, you can walk away but every time you go on a path you end back at the house.

Felling physical pain smells sights, are so real, so mentally exhausted now "

One minute at a time if that’s what you need. And make plans even just by yourself so there’s always some hope, Hope helps. Hang in there - Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tried everything, edmi, therapy, but there comes a time when you emotionally, get so, exhausted you just want a release, and a, way out, "

There is a reason for you to live

I know it x

Do you like animals ?

My little dog is a great therapist x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am always here to listen to ANYONE who wants to talk, about ANYTHING, ANYTIME x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tried everything, edmi, therapy, but there comes a time when you emotionally, get so, exhausted you just want a release, and a, way out,

There is a reason for you to live

I know it x

Do you like animals ?

My little dog is a great therapist x"

It's, getting harder to find them, being a burden on my family, sorry for dark post but you struck a nerve, with the way I feel

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eresa_cdslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Bodmin

Please seek help there are friends out there to talk to my wife is a deppresive and had to have psychiatric treatment. She is well now but has to be on medication. I am always happy to chat.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

End of the line really, you fight and fight, but, there is a, point where you cannot have the energy or will to keep going,there is only one way to stop the pain

Fuck been more honest on here then to my Cpn,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going through a bad time myself, speaking out was the best thing i have done.. luckily ive had the most amazing people around me who have understood and been supportive. Ive had so many inboxes of others on here going through the same after a recent post and regularly check in with them.

I hope your friend has all the support he needs, it really does open your eyes x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"End of the line really, you fight and fight, but, there is a, point where you cannot have the energy or will to keep going,there is only one way to stop the pain

Fuck been more honest on here then to my Cpn, "

Sometimes it’s easier to talk to complete strangers, keep doing it, there is always someone to listen.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

What a great thread OP - all too often nowadays, even with the greater acceptance of mental health issues, it's something that people are ashamed of or hide away - mercifully I've never been affected by it myself but have people close to me who have and I know what an awful thing it can be.

Everyone is different of course, some will want someone to talk to, some will want someone just to listen, and others will take heart just from the knowledge that there are people there ready to listen or talk if they need it.

Mental health issues are an illness just like any other more physical or obvious ones and the more they are talked about openly and honestly the more accepted they become - so threads like this and days like today are important in increasing that awareness.

To anyone suffering, my thoughts are with you, remember you are NOT alone in this - there is always someone there for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A friend of mine took an overdose and although i haven't really spoken to him recently I have reached out with a few silly messages recently and it breaks my heart thinking he thought he was so alone "

A few "silly" messages were probably the best thing you could have done after the event. It opens up a channel that wasn't there previously. Even the offer of a coffee and a chat can go a hell of a long way for someone going through pain.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Having had a close relative who suffered very serious mental health problems I think it does need to be recognised that talking is not always going to help. There are some people for who the only help is time and a place of safety and security. Recognising that and getting the right help for that person is key but sometimes not easy to do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having had a close relative who suffered very serious mental health problems I think it does need to be recognised that talking is not always going to help. There are some people for who the only help is time and a place of safety and security. Recognising that and getting the right help for that person is key but sometimes not easy to do. "

I was trying to explain it but kind of failed. Thanks..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am really struggling to find a reason to keep going, Ptsd and bpd, make life so hard, being alone, the black dog is never far away,

It's like a shit horror movie, you can walk away but every time you go on a path you end back at the house.

Felling physical pain smells sights, are so real, so mentally exhausted now "

It's so hard to shush those thoughts, to be able to carry on despite of them telling you it's not worth it. But there is a right help for everyone. Sometimes its just to quiet that inner 'voice' punishing and scarying you into irreversible choices..down. And that can take so many attempts.. you are worth having another go at making yourself better. Until then, i hope there are some self help techniques you can put in your mental tool box. One day or hour at the time.. as little pressure as possible. There might be setbacks, there might be mistakes. But there is a hope. Hold On Pain Ends.

X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s hard asking or even wanting help when you’re usually the one people ask for help from. Plus I’m sure friends won’t want to listen to my ramblings x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"It’s hard asking or even wanting help when you’re usually the one people ask for help from. Plus I’m sure friends won’t want to listen to my ramblings x "

Slightly at a tangent but I've just had to have a talk with my mum who has been in severe pain and distress because she won't talk to medical professionals about how it's almost impossible for her to get to medical appointments.

Please don't assume that nobody wants to hear your ramblings, we're all human and vulnerable your real friends will want to support you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who need help, people who are in that dark place, think there's no one they can talk to. They think no one cares enough to listen.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"People who need help, people who are in that dark place, think there's no one they can talk to. They think no one cares enough to listen. "

They do but there is a small section of people who don't want to talk because genuinely, at that time all they want is to cease existing. I think it's useful to understand that for anyone who might be feeling there's something they could have done in terms of listening.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People who need help, people who are in that dark place, think there's no one they can talk to. They think no one cares enough to listen.

They do but there is a small section of people who don't want to talk because genuinely, at that time all they want is to cease existing. I think it's useful to understand that for anyone who might be feeling there's something they could have done in terms of listening."

It's not that they think nobody cares to listen I think... i think they just don't care about themselves enough at that moment to think they deserve it or that it would change anything...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

They do but there is a small section of people who don't want to talk because genuinely, at that time all they want is to cease existing. I think it's useful to understand that for anyone who might be feeling there's something they could have done in terms of listening."

You've hit the nail on the head

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of 'think', sorry, cant articulate my thoughts on this topic without stumbling a little.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

My inbox is open if anyone fancies a chat.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top