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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Want to see which gender messages first more.

I reckon it will be about 90 % males on here messaging first but let's see.

How many of you lads have received the first message

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Men. I do, but incredibly rarely.

If I didn't get messages I'd do it more. If I saw more profiles worth messaging I'd do it much more.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

We quite often get messages sent to us first, from other couples or ladies

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I do message first but not very often. I get a hell of a lot more in my inbox than I send myself.

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

I don't message first to be honest, enough to deal with without doing that haha

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I had a few since using the forums.

Most have been very nice.

Generally just chat though.

But one led to a social meet.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I message first but normally off the back of forum posts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm interested in someone I message them why not. I don't see people going to tescos and standing outside waiting for staff to throw them produce I like to go inside and choose my own.

Women should message more here if they did the quality of a lot of males profiles would be so much better.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I message first but normally off the back of forum posts "

Yes. Forum messages are different to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only message first if its forum related.. something i want to say off the public eye to the OP or someone who commented. Usually, more of a friendly wave rather than attempt to drag them between my legs

Also.. old fashioned in some ways!

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I message first but normally off the back of forum posts "

Me too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always have to message, if a couple or female message me first I always assume a fake profile !!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I've had first messages from ladies - to be honest I don't sweat the whole who messaged first thing at all - forum related things aside I can't remember the last time I sent a completely cold unsolicited first message either and have sent no more than 5 or 6 in my three years here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Almost all the first messages in my conversations come from the women. I tend not to send the first message unless it’s a forum game and even then I’m more likely to be reactive than proactive.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

I generally send the first message, having made sure I've read the profile properly beforehand. I've not sent a huge number, tho, and just occasionally they don't just get deleted immediately lol

I send more messages just paying someone a compliment (I've sent one like this morning, to a poster on this thread but I don't think it's been read yet) These have a higher strike rate of replies, if they don't get lost in the sea of crap messages that the women here seem to get

I've had a few unsolicited messages, too. Most were just rubbish, but some have led to some nice conversations.

To be honest, I'm just glad to be receiving any kind of recognition

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I message first if i'm interested - but unfortunately there aren't many profiles that interest me enough to send that message

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've had first messages from ladies - to be honest I don't sweat the whole who messaged first thing at all - forum related things aside I can't remember the last time I sent a completely cold unsolicited first message either and have sent no more than 5 or 6 in my three years here."

You message back and forth with alot of people on here then ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t ever send first messages to men as I receive too many anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I've had first messages from ladies - to be honest I don't sweat the whole who messaged first thing at all - forum related things aside I can't remember the last time I sent a completely cold unsolicited first message either and have sent no more than 5 or 6 in my three years here.

You message back and forth with alot of people on here then ?"

As it happens yes I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first "

That’s cause the lads are all sexy and don’t need to message anyone first

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first "

That’s because 98% of messages received are non forum users

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

On occasion, however first contact with females normally seems to come through a solicitor.

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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

I'd say about 80-85% of our messages received are from men, the other 15% is split between cpls and women

We wish it was the other way round though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apps like bumble make the woman message first, and so I never get any messages

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first "

Sorry to be a kill joy, however you did ask how many males had received the first message not sent the first message.

It would be very quiet if nobody was sending the first message.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've had first messages from ladies - to be honest I don't sweat the whole who messaged first thing at all - forum related things aside I can't remember the last time I sent a completely cold unsolicited first message either and have sent no more than 5 or 6 in my three years here.

You message back and forth with alot of people on here then ?

As it happens yes I do "

Must get alot of woman messaging you first then if you've only messaged 5 or 6

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So going of the forum users then about 70% of the woman who use the forums message first then that's interesting

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I message first, usually if someone winked me and I liked the look of them or if I winked them and they winked back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive only messaged from forum posts, just general stuff usually.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

About 80 % now lads in the forum's you need to up your games

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/10/19 17:17:49]

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

If I message first and don’t get a reply within 5 minutes then I usually follow them home off the bus for about a week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got 1st messaged loads of times but i dont message anyone unless its to take piss out of a forum thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first "

We learned early on about the futility of sending unsolicited first messages. As a result we set our stall out differently on here. Through our posting and interactions on the forum (and in some cases the chat rooms) and the way we use our profiles, women we’d like to get to know often message us first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first

We learned early on about the futility of sending unsolicited first messages. As a result we set our stall out differently on here. Through our posting and interactions on the forum (and in some cases the chat rooms) and the way we use our profiles, women we’d like to get to know often message us first. "

So you've been put off even trying with woman now unless they message you first? that's a sad state of affairs on a sex website

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I got 1st messaged loads of times but i dont message anyone unless its to take piss out of a forum thing"

Playaaaaa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have, but not often.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first

We learned early on about the futility of sending unsolicited first messages. As a result we set our stall out differently on here. Through our posting and interactions on the forum (and in some cases the chat rooms) and the way we use our profiles, women we’d like to get to know often message us first.

So you've been put off even trying with woman now unless they message you first? that's a sad state of affairs on a sex website "

It’s a numbers game. I’m unlikely to catch someone’s attention through messaging if they are inundated with messages from random men. My early experience, ten years ago, proved that to be the case. My age often put me outside of the age range of women I liked as well.

But my presence on the forum and ion the site have enabled me to get to know a lot people I wouldn’t have done by other methods.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Only the woman forumites actually message first then. Ladies we are luck to have you

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I will message first on occasion but not very often.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first

We learned early on about the futility of sending unsolicited first messages. As a result we set our stall out differently on here. Through our posting and interactions on the forum (and in some cases the chat rooms) and the way we use our profiles, women we’d like to get to know often message us first.

So you've been put off even trying with woman now unless they message you first? that's a sad state of affairs on a sex website

It’s a numbers game. I’m unlikely to catch someone’s attention through messaging if they are inundated with messages from random men. My early experience, ten years ago, proved that to be the case. My age often put me outside of the age range of women I liked as well.

But my presence on the forum and ion the site have enabled me to get to know a lot people I wouldn’t have done by other methods."

Sounds like a nice way of saying you've been put off messaging woman but I like your style haha

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

to be honest the of my ins and out messages its probably 1 message 1st to me sending 4 messages 1st, and to be fair most of those 1st messages from people are messages containing the questions... 'weres your pub then?' or 'whats your pub called?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first

We learned early on about the futility of sending unsolicited first messages. As a result we set our stall out differently on here. Through our posting and interactions on the forum (and in some cases the chat rooms) and the way we use our profiles, women we’d like to get to know often message us first.

So you've been put off even trying with woman now unless they message you first? that's a sad state of affairs on a sex website

It’s a numbers game. I’m unlikely to catch someone’s attention through messaging if they are inundated with messages from random men. My early experience, ten years ago, proved that to be the case. My age often put me outside of the age range of women I liked as well.

But my presence on the forum and ion the site have enabled me to get to know a lot people I wouldn’t have done by other methods.

Sounds like a nice way of saying you've been put off messaging woman but I like your style haha "

Yes I was put off messaging, as soon as I realised how ineffective it was. It would be insane to keep on messaging without getting a response continually, and somehow expect the results to change without doing something different.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I've messaged first a couple of times but not that often...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I've had first messages from ladies - to be honest I don't sweat the whole who messaged first thing at all - forum related things aside I can't remember the last time I sent a completely cold unsolicited first message either and have sent no more than 5 or 6 in my three years here.

You message back and forth with alot of people on here then ?

As it happens yes I do

Must get alot of woman messaging you first then if you've only messaged 5 or 6 "

If you read again you'll see that's not what I said - the key words are "forum related things aside"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got 1st messaged loads of times but i dont message anyone unless its to take piss out of a forum thing

Playaaaaa"
am not im a good boy now

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think you're extrapolating from a biased and incomplete sample.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you're extrapolating from a biased and incomplete sample."

Think I'm what

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've had first messages from ladies - to be honest I don't sweat the whole who messaged first thing at all - forum related things aside I can't remember the last time I sent a completely cold unsolicited first message either and have sent no more than 5 or 6 in my three years here.

You message back and forth with alot of people on here then ?

As it happens yes I do

Must get alot of woman messaging you first then if you've only messaged 5 or 6

If you read again you'll see that's not what I said - the key words are "forum related things aside" "

AHH so you do message first just about the forum's - fair enough

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems like no one messages anyone on here then weird that alot of the woman on here complain about all the messages they get - but none the lads on here are admitting to ever messaging first

We learned early on about the futility of sending unsolicited first messages. As a result we set our stall out differently on here. Through our posting and interactions on the forum (and in some cases the chat rooms) and the way we use our profiles, women we’d like to get to know often message us first.

So you've been put off even trying with woman now unless they message you first? that's a sad state of affairs on a sex website

It’s a numbers game. I’m unlikely to catch someone’s attention through messaging if they are inundated with messages from random men. My early experience, ten years ago, proved that to be the case. My age often put me outside of the age range of women I liked as well.

But my presence on the forum and ion the site have enabled me to get to know a lot people I wouldn’t have done by other methods.

Sounds like a nice way of saying you've been put off messaging woman but I like your style haha

Yes I was put off messaging, as soon as I realised how ineffective it was. It would be insane to keep on messaging without getting a response continually, and somehow expect the results to change without doing something different."

Mad ini the main way of communicating individually on the website and its literally useless to try and speak to anyone new

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"Mad ini the main way of communicating individually on the website and its literally useless to try and speak to anyone new"

Yep, pretty much useless

I sent a message yesterday that's not even been read yet

Just checked out a profile that says for single guys, send a wink and if I like you I'll get back to you.

But can't send a wink, because single guys are blocked from winking at this profile, and can't message either for the same reason

FFS....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do message first but not very often. I get a hell of a lot more in my inbox than I send myself. "

That's a given...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mad ini the main way of communicating individually on the website and its literally useless to try and speak to anyone new

Yep, pretty much useless

I sent a message yesterday that's not even been read yet

Just checked out a profile that says for single guys, send a wink and if I like you I'll get back to you.

But can't send a wink, because single guys are blocked from winking at this profile, and can't message either for the same reason

FFS.... "

Hahaha ridiculous ini

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a guy... messaging first is the norm... but there are always exceptions... to every rule...

How else do women have filled inboxes... the message don't send themselves...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve only ever sent one message first. After a guy winked me and I winked back, I got fed up of waiting for a message lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh I don’t send a first message anymore unless a woman winks and is fabbing a load of my photos then I will, not sent a 1st message for months I just go by if someone likes and is interested they will get in touch...

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

We tend to get messages first by single men and that has led to most of our meets. Occasionally I will wink at someone I like but it’s rare. We try to reply to everyone even if it’s a no thank you so that takes up quite a bit of time. We have messaged couples though if we really like their profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the last 3 or 4 months i have had 1 message from a lady that i did not initiate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I talk to very few people on here.

I don’t usually initiate a conversation. Once or twice when some one really catches my eye

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I find it difficult to manage my current inbox load, which probably acts as a deterrent to me finding other people to message with. I do send first messages but I just have so little free time that looking for new partners doesn't happen often enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A while ago we'd happily send first but we're definitely heading in the club direction for our fun as it's so much less time consuming.

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I'll occasionally send the first message.. but only if I like the look the person / profile

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside


"I'll occasionally send the first message.. but only if I like the look the person / profile"

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