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Love?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I asked a person I did not realise at time would become my current gf..what do you think is the greatest of loves definition..for me it is letting go of something you dearly love thru kindness or because you can no longer provide them with what they want or need..for instance when a lady wants to go her separate way, found someone else etc then as much as I still love them I just go..right there and then and I don't interfere with their new life ever again..no matter I maybe in pieces..or the homeless or lonely person who has a pet as sole company but knows it is sick and must be allowed to go leaving him or her only silence..I guess what I mean is sacrificing a love so dear in order to facilitate another's needs and wants..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with you. I’ve always tended to put my loved ones happiness before my own, not necessarily a good thing sometimes. I would always let someone go though and walk away, I’ve always been of the mind that if they don’t 100% want me I don’t want them. That’s why I’ve never understood the bunny boiler/stalker/obsessive type behaviour. I just wouldn’t want someone if they didn’t want me. Maybe it’s also why I don’t do sharing and probably don’t really belong on here! With regards to pets it’s bloody hard but you have to do the right thing for them I really believe that. You can’t have them suffer for your benefit x

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Agree OP. Real love is unselfish and wanting the best for the other person, even if that is not you. It is also acknowledging and accepting their faults as none of us are perfect. When you see someone warts and all but still want them, that's love.

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes


"I asked a person I did not realise at time would become my current gf..what do you think is the greatest of loves definition..for me it is letting go of something you dearly love thru kindness or because you can no longer provide them with what they want or need..for instance when a lady wants to go her separate way, found someone else etc then as much as I still love them I just go..right there and then and I don't interfere with their new life ever again..no matter I maybe in pieces..or the homeless or lonely person who has a pet as sole company but knows it is sick and must be allowed to go leaving him or her only silence..I guess what I mean is sacrificing a love so dear in order to facilitate another's needs and wants.. "

Lovely put.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Often if you love someone the best thing you can do is let them go

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By *hezuMan
over a year ago

London

I disagree, the girl I loved I let her go because I thought she could do better we started talking again and she said she hated that I let her go without even trying and not understanding that to her my flaws weren't as bad as I saw them.

So now I think making the choice to end it because she/he deserves better is selfish and the easy way out of a relationship

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I totally agree. The man I adored, and still do platonically, I let go because I knew he deserved more than I could give him. He now has the right person and we are still close friends.

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Agree OP. Real love is unselfish and wanting the best for the other person, even if that is not you. It is also acknowledging and accepting their faults as none of us are perfect. When you see someone warts and all but still want them, that's love."

That is a fantastic explanation! I fully agree x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

that's one facet of love, it has many faces

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I disagree, the girl I loved I let her go because I thought she could do better we started talking again and she said she hated that I let her go without even trying and not understanding that to her my flaws weren't as bad as I saw them.

So now I think making the choice to end it because she/he deserves better is selfish and the easy way out of a relationship"

Letting someone go is like letting go of a balloon when the only thing keeping it from flying is you firmly grasping the string. What you are describing is forcing someone out due to your own insecurities. That's different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion, there is no true definition of love.

Love is often confused with lust and protrayed in a hollywoodian way that cannot be sustained with time.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"In my opinion, there is no true definition of love.

Love is often confused with lust and protrayed in a hollywoodian way that cannot be sustained with time. "

Very true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would i suffer excruciating physical pain and possibly die for that person

Would i fight 10 masked armed men for that person

Would i risk everything for that person

That is my definition if love

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Love ? LOVE ?

How can you attempt to describe love?

Love isn't definable.

Love isn't a constant.

It is so many things to billions of people and it varies billions of ways to one person ....

It's certainly personal if it exists at all.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"Would i suffer excruciating physical pain and possibly die for that person

Would i fight 10 masked armed men for that person

Would i risk everything for that person

That is my definition if love"

Or one scouse woman with a brick in her handbag.....

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By *thena123Woman
over a year ago

Swansea


"I asked a person I did not realise at time would become my current gf..what do you think is the greatest of loves definition..for me it is letting go of something you dearly love thru kindness or because you can no longer provide them with what they want or need..for instance when a lady wants to go her separate way, found someone else etc then as much as I still love them I just go..right there and then and I don't interfere with their new life ever again..no matter I maybe in pieces..or the homeless or lonely person who has a pet as sole company but knows it is sick and must be allowed to go leaving him or her only silence..I guess what I mean is sacrificing a love so dear in order to facilitate another's needs and wants.. "

Th old saying comes to mind....If you love someone, set them free!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would i suffer excruciating physical pain and possibly die for that person

Would i fight 10 masked armed men for that person

Would i risk everything for that person

That is my definition if love

Or one scouse woman with a brick in her handbag....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would i suffer excruciating physical pain and possibly die for that person

Would i fight 10 masked armed men for that person

Would i risk everything for that person

That is my definition if love"

No I don’t agree. I wouldn’t die for anyone except my kids no matter how in love I was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once heard love defined as this: giving to someone's basic needs without having personal reward as my motive.

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Just into my 3rd marriage so consider myself a bit of an expert after spending 30 years with someone.

What I finally learned is that love is equal, love has no ownership of another person. Love is acceptance, love is teamwork & most of all it takes time and effort to maintain and keep healthy...

Am sure there are other things but I'm tired...

Mrs _d40

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Some real interesting thoughts love it..on a personal front and very much in love I say I walk the same road with her..I ll stand at her side..I ll stand in defence to her front and behind her to catch her when she falls but I do not own her..she is free to be herself..no constraints whatsoever..she can never cheat on me, embarrass me she can be who she wants to be act how she wants and Wear what she wants etc and if she chooses to go on alone or with another I will stand aside and let her fly..no one has a right to own another or to change against them from who they really are...love is without doubt multi faceted..comes in so many forms..in my hard times I came across love in so many different forms and interestingly it often came from people I barely knew..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some real interesting thoughts love it..on a personal front and very much in love I say I walk the same road with her..I ll stand at her side..I ll stand in defence to her front and behind her to catch her when she falls but I do not own her..she is free to be herself..no constraints whatsoever..she can never cheat on me, embarrass me she can be who she wants to be act how she wants and Wear what she wants etc and if she chooses to go on alone or with another I will stand aside and let her fly..no one has a right to own another or to change against them from who they really are...love is without doubt multi faceted..comes in so many forms..in my hard times I came across love in so many different forms and interestingly it often came from people I barely knew.. "
why would you not fight for her and just step aside that bit i dont get

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some real interesting thoughts love it..on a personal front and very much in love I say I walk the same road with her..I ll stand at her side..I ll stand in defence to her front and behind her to catch her when she falls but I do not own her..she is free to be herself..no constraints whatsoever..she can never cheat on me, embarrass me she can be who she wants to be act how she wants and Wear what she wants etc and if she chooses to go on alone or with another I will stand aside and let her fly..no one has a right to own another or to change against them from who they really are...love is without doubt multi faceted..comes in so many forms..in my hard times I came across love in so many different forms and interestingly it often came from people I barely knew.. why would you not fight for her and just step aside that bit i dont get"

Because it would be her choice . Her wish..who am I to say she s wrong..I would never leave her except at her request..I understand this would be odd to most but my life has been so different to most that it does seem odd..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some real interesting thoughts love it..on a personal front and very much in love I say I walk the same road with her..I ll stand at her side..I ll stand in defence to her front and behind her to catch her when she falls but I do not own her..she is free to be herself..no constraints whatsoever..she can never cheat on me, embarrass me she can be who she wants to be act how she wants and Wear what she wants etc and if she chooses to go on alone or with another I will stand aside and let her fly..no one has a right to own another or to change against them from who they really are...love is without doubt multi faceted..comes in so many forms..in my hard times I came across love in so many different forms and interestingly it often came from people I barely knew.. why would you not fight for her and just step aside that bit i dont get

Because it would be her choice . Her wish..who am I to say she s wrong..I would never leave her except at her request..I understand this would be odd to most but my life has been so different to most that it does seem odd.. "

Just asked gf what she thinks..she says if the decision is a hard positive decision to move on, fighting for her would not change her mind whatever

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I disagree, the girl I loved I let her go because I thought she could do better we started talking again and she said she hated that I let her go without even trying and not understanding that to her my flaws weren't as bad as I saw them.

So now I think making the choice to end it because she/he deserves better is selfish and the easy way out of a relationship

Letting someone go is like letting go of a balloon when the only thing keeping it from flying is you firmly grasping the string. What you are describing is forcing someone out due to your own insecurities. That's different."

Agree here tbh...though the thread is about love in all its facets..not necessarily about relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would i suffer excruciating physical pain and possibly die for that person

Would i fight 10 masked armed men for that person

Would i risk everything for that person

That is my definition if love

Or one scouse woman with a brick in her handbag....."

Luv you pmsl.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would i suffer excruciating physical pain and possibly die for that person

Would i fight 10 masked armed men for that person

Would i risk everything for that person

That is my definition if love

No I don’t agree. I wouldn’t die for anyone except my kids no matter how in love I was. "

You see I don’t have kids so a partner in my life can end up being the most important person to me and I would do anything for that person when I feel a deep unconditional love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love is a small barely perceptible smile when a thought or memory of the other person flits through your mind. It is also a volcano of passion and desire.

Sometimes both at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is love so complicated?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is love so complicated? "

Because there is often a woman involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been in or experienced love but trying to find it with someone now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Love is a small barely perceptible smile when a thought or memory of the other person flits through your mind. It is also a volcano of passion and desire.

Sometimes both at the same time. "

Loved this..beautiful

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Would i suffer excruciating physical pain and possibly die for that person

Would i fight 10 masked armed men for that person

Would i risk everything for that person

That is my definition if love

No I don’t agree. I wouldn’t die for anyone except my kids no matter how in love I was.

You see I don’t have kids so a partner in my life can end up being the most important person to me and I would do anything for that person when I feel a deep unconditional love. "

Same here..know exactly where you re coming from..I have no family of my own and because my life has changed so drastically I have no friends that I hang with..so I m either with my gf or alone, but not lonely...she is my world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would i suffer excruciating physical pain and possibly die for that person

Would i fight 10 masked armed men for that person

Would i risk everything for that person

That is my definition if love

No I don’t agree. I wouldn’t die for anyone except my kids no matter how in love I was.

You see I don’t have kids so a partner in my life can end up being the most important person to me and I would do anything for that person when I feel a deep unconditional love. "

Oh of course. Yes I get that totally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I asked a person I did not realise at time would become my current gf..what do you think is the greatest of loves definition..for me it is letting go of something you dearly love thru kindness or because you can no longer provide them with what they want or need..for instance when a lady wants to go her separate way, found someone else etc then as much as I still love them I just go..right there and then and I don't interfere with their new life ever again..no matter I maybe in pieces..or the homeless or lonely person who has a pet as sole company but knows it is sick and must be allowed to go leaving him or her only silence..I guess what I mean is sacrificing a love so dear in order to facilitate another's needs and wants.. "

I couldn't comment yesterday, but I just wanted to say that I really loved this post, its beautiful and it put a lump in my throat. I really like some of the comments you make and the way you think a little differently, like standing in a stream the other day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love is also fear tho as you have something to lose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agree OP. Real love is unselfish and wanting the best for the other person, even if that is not you. It is also acknowledging and accepting their faults as none of us are perfect. When you see someone warts and all but still want them, that's love."

At the tender age of 37, I am still yet to experience this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love is also fear tho as you have something to lose "

Isn't love overcoming the fear and accepting the risk? It's the scariest thing I'll ever know, but I've never questioned the fear, there's almost been no choice in that, you just do whatever needs to be done without fear.... ....and when someone else does that in return equally, then the fear is cancelled out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love is also fear tho as you have something to lose

Isn't love overcoming the fear and accepting the risk? It's the scariest thing I'll ever know, but I've never questioned the fear, there's almost been no choice in that, you just do whatever needs to be done without fear.... ....and when someone else does that in return equally, then the fear is cancelled out "

Im only going by the wisdom of master yoda

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love is also fear tho as you have something to lose

Isn't love overcoming the fear and accepting the risk? It's the scariest thing I'll ever know, but I've never questioned the fear, there's almost been no choice in that, you just do whatever needs to be done without fear.... ....and when someone else does that in return equally, then the fear is cancelled out

Im only going by the wisdom of master yoda"

Oh, he died eventually

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I asked a person I did not realise at time would become my current gf..what do you think is the greatest of loves definition..for me it is letting go of something you dearly love thru kindness or because you can no longer provide them with what they want or need..for instance when a lady wants to go her separate way, found someone else etc then as much as I still love them I just go..right there and then and I don't interfere with their new life ever again..no matter I maybe in pieces..or the homeless or lonely person who has a pet as sole company but knows it is sick and must be allowed to go leaving him or her only silence..I guess what I mean is sacrificing a love so dear in order to facilitate another's needs and wants..

I couldn't comment yesterday, but I just wanted to say that I really loved this post, its beautiful and it put a lump in my throat. I really like some of the comments you make and the way you think a little differently, like standing in a stream the other day "

Hey thanks very much...trust me I am very different to your average person lol...yeah my wellies had the same ability as a swimming pool for holding water..thinking once my feet have completed their webbs the next thing will be Gills! !if you wanna shoot the breeze give me a shout

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Love is also fear tho as you have something to lose

Isn't love overcoming the fear and accepting the risk? It's the scariest thing I'll ever know, but I've never questioned the fear, there's almost been no choice in that, you just do whatever needs to be done without fear.... ....and when someone else does that in return equally, then the fear is cancelled out "

Both interesting thoughts and yes I understand where you re coming from....the panic I felt after declaring my heart to my girl was incredible..fear that it could destroy the friendship..the wait for a return message was crazy, seemed endless..it was funny because being so in love with her put me in that position but the love for her as my friend worried me that I d upset her..first time I ve experienced being IN LOVE and LOVING the same person in what could be described as two different senses..make sense?!

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