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Rejection??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why can't some people simply take rejection??

we like others have had to tell people in the past that were sorry but due to those people ages that we would not be interested in a meeting with them,

we explain this in a nice way and 9 times out of ten those people tend to understand and are nice about it, but then you get the odd one that decides to throw the rattle out of the cot and make a big fuss out of it (when it's not going to change our minds).

We are flexible with the age ranges as it depends on the looks and how we get on when chatting etc.

anyone else had the same problem?

comments welcome

mr & mrs mids x

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

No, once I say no thank you thats it,anything more is ignored so does'nt bother me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No never!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes it's easier to just say "no" and then block.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I don't find it a problem.....I just say thanks but no thanks, it's not my problem after that....it's theirs if they can't accept it.

It's only a problem for you if you let it be....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't find it a problem.....I just say thanks but no thanks, it's not my problem after that....it's theirs if they can't accept it.

It's only a problem for you if you let it be....

"

Its ok for you your scary they are bound to accept it from you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its the same everywhere. some folks just dont take rejection well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

immature? low self esteem?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best ones are those that are then abusive and insulting.... just reaffirms my decision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people are very nice, just a few who are not so nice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

well normaly they take it ok and just say ''ok thanks for letting us know'' etc and thats it, were dont like to just say ''no'' and then block, unless they say something to make us do that, we try and be as nice about it as we can but then you just get the odd one that decides to kick up a fuss and moan about it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The best ones are those that are then abusive and insulting.... just reaffirms my decision "

We have had that a couple of times and the one we had 10mins ago was like that, it just makes us see what they are really like behind al the charm and talk etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know or care about how the other person handles rejection, as he is blocked immediately after I replied I am not interested in whatever he may have to offer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just delete and block as I have had a couple in the past get really snotty because one half was in the 20's age range, she, the older one thought that kind of thing didn't happen now, and implied I should meet anyone whatever age even though it says on my profile what age I prefer

I am afraid it will happen now and again and there is nothing you can do about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its interesting that every reply has been about how the poster rejects others. Not one reply about how they themselves handle rejection, though I'm guessing a fair few would state they themselves have never been rejected. To do so would be admitting that you're not the gorgeous, sexually confident, popular, lusted after by all, beautiful / handsome person you want everyone to think you are.

How about if someone you winked or messaged came back with a 'no thanks, you're too old, fat and ugly for us/me'. How do you handle that. Of course not many will admit to having that kind of message, unless of course they have done the rejecting first and a nasty message is in retaliation.

Its far easier to reject others and expect them to be gracious about it, sometimes the rejecter is rude when doing so, finding it a 'necessary and honourable' thing to give an honest reason, which may be 'you're too ugly etc etc' and they honestly feel that this is ok and are surprised when a comeback of 'look in the fucking mirror' appears.

In this swinging malarky we are all being rejected all the time. Its an emotion all of us will have to face and do to others. Even those of us who say they've never received a rejection message back will have had people look at their profile and then not bothered messaging because there not interested in what they've read or seen picture wise.

Therefore the best option is try to be as gracious as possible when rejecting people and accept graciously when you yourself have been rejected. None of us like rejection no matter what brave face we put on, but we have to accept it.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Its interesting that every reply has been about how the poster rejects others. Not one reply about how they themselves handle rejection, though I'm guessing a fair few would state they themselves have never been rejected. To do so would be admitting that you're not the gorgeous, sexually confident, popular, lusted after by all, beautiful / handsome person you want everyone to think you are.

How about if someone you winked or messaged came back with a 'no thanks, you're too old, fat and ugly for us/me'. How do you handle that. Of course not many will admit to having that kind of message, unless of course they have done the rejecting first and a nasty message is in retaliation.

Its far easier to reject others and expect them to be gracious about it, sometimes the rejecter is rude when doing so, finding it a 'necessary and honourable' thing to give an honest reason, which may be 'you're too ugly etc etc' and they honestly feel that this is ok and are surprised when a comeback of 'look in the fucking mirror' appears.

In this swinging malarky we are all being rejected all the time. Its an emotion all of us will have to face and do to others. Even those of us who say they've never received a rejection message back will have had people look at their profile and then not bothered messaging because there not interested in what they've read or seen picture wise.

Therefore the best option is try to be as gracious as possible when rejecting people and accept graciously when you yourself have been rejected. None of us like rejection no matter what brave face we put on, but we have to accept it. "

I dont get rejected, because i never message someone first or approach someone first. Do i count those that look as me as rejection? Not at all, i have no idea why those that look at me dont message me, could be a million and one reasons. Just because someone looks at your profile doesnt mean they where thinking of messaging you in the first place.

The other day, i replied to a guy no thanks which is rare for me as just ignore or delete. I sent the no thanks and forgot to delete and although its only happened a few times on here, i got a torrent of abuse back which made me laugh even more as his profile said about him being a perfect gentleman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dave Cameron had an arsehole transplant last week...

It rejected him...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

........... What Diamond said, goes the same for me. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get it quite a lot, i now days tend to not reply to people in not interested in meeting, not because im rude but i just got fed uo with being told i was a ugly fucker anyway from guys i said no thanks to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting that every reply has been about how the poster rejects others. Not one reply about how they themselves handle rejection "

i dont handle rejection because i never mail anyone first or ask anyone to meet me

Everyone i have met off here have contacted me first so im never really in a possition for people to say no thanks to me

But i know for a fact if i did mail a guy and he said i wasnt his type i wouldnt dream of sending him abuse, thats just not my personality im far to old to be dummy spitting lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The best ones are those that are then abusive and insulting.... just reaffirms my decision

We have had that a couple of times and the one we had 10mins ago was like that, it just makes us see what they are really like behind al the charm and talk etc."

It's always polite to send a 'thanks, but no thanks' message - but if people then proceed to respond with abuse - block and report - if they're doing it regularly admin will soon suspend them - thus saving others from experiencing the same unacceptable behaviour and removing those that quite frankly aren't mature enough to be on a site like this!

You're doing nothing wrong - it's them that has issues!

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By *lam rockerMan
over a year ago

Tain

as above!

it's no skin off my nose if you say no, or just ignore and/or block. Life is too short to get annoyed with it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting that every reply has been about how the poster rejects others. Not one reply about how they themselves handle rejection, though I'm guessing a fair few would state they themselves have never been rejected. To do so would be admitting that you're not the gorgeous, sexually confident, popular, lusted after by all, beautiful / handsome person you want everyone to think you are.

How about if someone you winked or messaged came back with a 'no thanks, you're too old, fat and ugly for us/me'. How do you handle that. Of course not many will admit to having that kind of message, unless of course they have done the rejecting first and a nasty message is in retaliation.

Its far easier to reject others and expect them to be gracious about it, sometimes the rejecter is rude when doing so, finding it a 'necessary and honourable' thing to give an honest reason, which may be 'you're too ugly etc etc' and they honestly feel that this is ok and are surprised when a comeback of 'look in the fucking mirror' appears.

In this swinging malarky we are all being rejected all the time. Its an emotion all of us will have to face and do to others. Even those of us who say they've never received a rejection message back will have had people look at their profile and then not bothered messaging because there not interested in what they've read or seen picture wise.

Therefore the best option is try to be as gracious as possible when rejecting people and accept graciously when you yourself have been rejected. None of us like rejection no matter what brave face we put on, but we have to accept it. "

That's a very good post, I agree with all of it. We are all rejected at times either directly or indirectly. Being gracious when rejecting or accepting shows an intellectual and social maturity to dealing with the whole rejection issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've been rejected a few times and rejected others too. It's not nice when people you really like the sound and look of reject you but thats life and we are mature enough to know that not everyone appeals to everyone and that there has to be an attraction. Some of the rejections have been rather, erm, blunt but we never ever retaliate (it's childish) and makes us pleased that we didn't play with rude people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We have been rejected a few times ourselves since being on here and you know what, we don't care!!

We know were not everyones cup of tea, but were genuine and we fell ''normal'' and when we are rejected we simply write back with a simple ''thanks for letting us know and happy swinging'' then we do tend to block them nothing against them but thats what we tend to do, we never take it to heart as we also know we are other peoples cup of tea as such.

mr & mrs mids x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm deeply offended by rejection, especially when Dev won't give me her last rolo...

Wolf

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By *likeVKblindsMan
over a year ago

Limehouse

That's all I seem to get, but I'm not rude about it, if you don't want to for whatever reason then fair enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

noones for everyone, everyone will reject and be rejected but as adult we just have to accept that

Thos as i stated above as i never ask anyone to meet me ive never had anyone say no thanks, tho im sure hundreds of people have looked at my profile and not liked me so just moved on, which is fine bacuse thats the name of the game, i do it to others so would be rather arrogant of me to mail everyone whos 'looked at me' and not mailed me asking them why? and ive had that many times from others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some people dont get it, if they moody fuckers with everyone who knocks them back then they will never get back in touch,

they are daft as if you wernt right for that time when you contacted them, they might remember you were quite sound and good person, and if they do like the look and sound of you later down the line things might be different or they might get back in touch.

i know ive had couples where ive went on cam for them to show my likeness and nothing really came of it, but few months down the line they got back in touch when they were sick of rude people and invited me round.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

[Removed by poster at 30/03/12 10:10:42]

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

I'd like to think I would be gracious. Not a sympathy shag thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had anyone get the hump yet (save one who was an annoying little twerp who would not take no for an answer). most say they're really glad they got a polite answer back rather than their message deleted, best of luck and all that...

We don't ever go into details as to why as it's a whole can of negative minterpretations.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was wondering if simply deleating a message is considered very hurtful. I have just had an abusive message for doing so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering if simply deleating a message is considered very hurtful. I have just had an abusive message for doing so. "

Personal choice - but i'll always use the 'thanks, but no thanks' line - and then block if there's no chance i'll ever be interested.

But still no excuse for abuse!!

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By *artine EssexCouple
over a year ago

Essex

Compared to you two lovely People we're "oldies" and we clearly state on our Profile we're looking for Guys in their 40's....but still we get lads of 20 wanting to screw me who keep on on and dont want to take no for an answer.

Have fun you Gorgeous pair, we do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My view would be that ladies who never message first and therefore never get rejected could be frightened of rejection.

And I do understand it too, how many women have gone up to men they fancy in bars and asked them out. The usual way, the method I used to use, would be to stand close, laugh with friends, try and get the guys attention, look over at him, smile if he looked, if he kept looking and smiling I might go over then and say hi.

See for those ladies who don't message guys, then are you just relying on the ones who message you to meet, its not really being proactive is it. Women may say 'oh I don't care how guys feel, their problem if you can't take rejection' well you can't take it either can you, as you would freely message guys that take your fancy.

And yes I know ladies are going to say 'well I get so many messages I don't need to look', and I know of course that is the case, but even if all the guys were gorgeous and what you were looking for anyway, its still sitting back and being reactive isn't it.

No of course not everyone who looks at you wants to meet, I have 100s of people looking at my profile and its cos of my pics, not all of them want to meet me.

But there will be a percentage of people who look at all of our profiles and think no she/they are not attractive enough for me.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"My view would be that ladies who never message first and therefore never get rejected could be frightened of rejection.

And I do understand it too, how many women have gone up to men they fancy in bars and asked them out. The usual way, the method I used to use, would be to stand close, laugh with friends, try and get the guys attention, look over at him, smile if he looked, if he kept looking and smiling I might go over then and say hi.

See for those ladies who don't message guys, then are you just relying on the ones who message you to meet, its not really being proactive is it. Women may say 'oh I don't care how guys feel, their problem if you can't take rejection' well you can't take it either can you, as you would freely message guys that take your fancy.

And yes I know ladies are going to say 'well I get so many messages I don't need to look', and I know of course that is the case, but even if all the guys were gorgeous and what you were looking for anyway, its still sitting back and being reactive isn't it.

No of course not everyone who looks at you wants to meet, I have 100s of people looking at my profile and its cos of my pics, not all of them want to meet me.

But there will be a percentage of people who look at all of our profiles and think no she/they are not attractive enough for me. "

How can someone be frightened of rejection just because they dont message men first. This thread is about being rejected on the site. But in everyday life we have all been rejected for different things.

Different people do things different ways, just because i choose not to message guys first i really cant see that as not being proactive. I go to socials, i chat and flirt but its just not me to approach a guy first

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think the main reason i dont message guys first is im too lazy to go through profiles. Ive tried it and got bored after reading about 4 in a row

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

Being rejected is fine having seen one another or chatted and feelings towards us mean that the attraction or chemistry isn't there.

No shows without the decency of an explanation and we hear stories of people even being blocked having handed out personal pics, phone numbers and in some cases adresses is a tad naughty, thankfully though as yet we haven't experienced this.

All we do personally is try and behave the way we'd hope others would towards us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its interesting that every reply has been about how the poster rejects others. Not one reply about how they themselves handle rejection, though I'm guessing a fair few would state they themselves have never been rejected. To do so would be admitting that you're not the gorgeous, sexually confident, popular, lusted after by all, beautiful / handsome person you want everyone to think you are. Great post I know a couple of the regulars who won't agree

How about if someone you winked or messaged came back with a 'no thanks, you're too old, fat and ugly for us/me'. How do you handle that. Of course not many will admit to having that kind of message, unless of course they have done the rejecting first and a nasty message is in retaliation.

Its far easier to reject others and expect them to be gracious about it, sometimes the rejecter is rude when doing so, finding it a 'necessary and honourable' thing to give an honest reason, which may be 'you're too ugly etc etc' and they honestly feel that this is ok and are surprised when a comeback of 'look in the fucking mirror' appears.

In this swinging malarky we are all being rejected all the time. Its an emotion all of us will have to face and do to others. Even those of us who say they've never received a rejection message back will have had people look at their profile and then not bothered messaging because there not interested in what they've read or seen picture wise.

Therefore the best option is try to be as gracious as possible when rejecting people and accept graciously when you yourself have been rejected. None of us like rejection no matter what brave face we put on, but we have to accept it.

That's a very good post, I agree with all of it. We are all rejected at times either directly or indirectly. Being gracious when rejecting or accepting shows an intellectual and social maturity to dealing with the whole rejection issue. "

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