FabSwingers.com forum: Reclaiming memories and moments

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I've been thinking about this for a little while now.

Those moments, places or things that are tangibly and inextricably linked to an ex and bring back those bitter sweet memories of things done and gone.

How do people go back or reclaim them? Do you leave them alone and avoid them?

Is it easy for people to just move on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t drive in any town or city with ham in the name cause one of my ex’s was a vegan, I’m from the midlands so I have to make a lot of detours.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"I can’t drive in any town or city with ham in the name cause one of my ex’s was a vegan, I’m from the midlands so I have to make a lot of detours."

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

For those with depth of feeling I put them aside and let time soften the edges, then remember them for what they were..

For those with nothing positive remaining I take back the moments with ease and give them no further headspace.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"I can’t drive in any town or city with ham in the name cause one of my ex’s was a vegan, I’m from the midlands so I have to make a lot of detours."

I’m close to Coventry, you’ll be ok here

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I try to live my life, including those things that resonate, to the fullest. I find in time that newer vivid memories overwrite the older, sometimes more painful memories. Sometimes - not always in the context of old relationships - I consciously write over old bad experiences and prevail over them. Recovering from a fear or an injury, for example.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve had that a lot in the past few years, sometimes some places or things are too emotional to revisit but will get less so, other than that we try to make new memories. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete all my past lives and move on..my history is in my head only..I never look backwards

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

This ties in with Saffrons thread about living in the now for me...I was happy in the now of those moments, even if the relationship is no longer good, so I remember those moments with fondness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I delete all my past lives and move on..my history is in my head only..I never look backwards

Now if this is true, it’s a skill I’d love to learn...

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

As Ragnar Lothbroek said “don’t look back, you are not going that way”, I don’t look back, I can chat with my lads about their dad and things we did when they were younger but it doesn’t give me a pang or a feeling of regret for ending our marriage. Same goes for past relationships, they ended for a reason, yes songs or places might bring memories to mind but they are what they are.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

I strangely had one such moment yesterday when I was pumping my brake pedal as my ex bled my brakes for me.

It was something we used to do quite a lot back in the day, plus passing him spanner’s etc. He used to be a mechanic.

I am lucky there’s no animosity between us so it’s easier to look back fondly. I haven’t forgotten the awful stuff that happened between us. I have just learnt from it and moved on.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

I just embrace them. I have no bad memories from exes. At one point they were who I wanted and the good times outweigh the bad.

I get far more nostalgic from smells and music that remind me of my youth and of family I have lost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been thinking about this for a little while now.

Those moments, places or things that are tangibly and inextricably linked to an ex and bring back those bitter sweet memories of things done and gone.

How do people go back or reclaim them? Do you leave them alone and avoid them?

Is it easy for people to just move on? "

What do you mean reclaim them? Trying to make them positive instead of negative?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont give past relationships a second thought. I hardly remember being married i recall very little from it its like i hadnt been married at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use a flash.

The trick is to trigger it enough time to give you an epilepsy crisis.

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

Have a load of polaroids of me f*king the ex and her posing nude. I look at those sometimes, they were the good times but there were plenty of not good times outside the bedroom.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

whenever i talk about super twat i feel no emotion its like im talking about a third party. Im like that with most of my past in general when i talk about it its like it happened to someone else and not me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to close my eyes and re live them

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

My ex was a miserable cow so I’m quite pleased I don’t think of her very often. Usually if I see a real sullen miserable frowny woman then I would think ‘you look cheerful compared to ——-‘

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I think the more you do the same something in a different way to how you would have done it a couple that you gradually stop comparing it anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I avoided listening to "our song" for years.

Now when I hear it I just think f**k him. His loss.

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