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"I have a baked beans jigsaw - it's circular and orange and a damn hard one to complete. Branston beans are good - pfaaarrrtttt "BRANSTON! Jesus wept your soul needs saving... Kill you faster than a bullet Branston beans will. I know a fella who used to eat these all the time, normal kinda guy, worked in a bank...well worked on banks actually! So anyway he gets up one morning, cracks open a tin and before you could say "how many slices of toast do you want"...he pulled his own head off with his bare hands... Branston beans should come with a health warning and these are exactly the kind of beans that are ruining this country. | |||
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*there are other major supermarket brands available too. | |||
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"asda's own kick arse
*there are other major supermarket brands available too."Now your talking beans, ASDA beans are very good quality beans, infact it's beans like these that will rebuild this country. Beans like these that make you proud to be British! I can't believe i have got a tear in my eye so early in the morning... ...But lets not get too carried away because ASDA do quite a few "Own Brand Beans" You got Smart Price... Then you got ASDA Beans with a red label... Then you got low fat -low salt beans with a blue label that will cost you about £1.27p for 4 tins... So which beans are you talking about exactly? Spill the beans, and i don't mean on the toast! | |||
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"Your in the babby bean leagues. Step up to jars (thats right, jars, not your pathetic british cans) of high quality polish beans, in a perfectly seasoned tomato sauce with chunks of polish sausage chucked for good measure. Your beans cannot compete with such excellence" Ive heard about this before... So let me get this right, out in Poland you have got 3 year old kids working in bean factories for less than 50 pence a day... No wonder you can afford to put them in big posh Jars! No Viz vests, No protective footwear, 22 hour day with No toilet break... Ive heard about that chunky polish sausage they chuck in-there bloody fingers for god sake! It's also a fact that Polish beans in jars give you head cancer, just because there in a fancy jar that you can later wash out and fill full of nuts and bolts does not mean were all going to rush out and buy these beans.. It's also true that Polish beans in jars promote seal clubbing in really small writing at the bottom of the label. | |||
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"Heinz beans - reduced Salt & Sugar all the way for me.. cooked on the hob til they are all stodgey.. mmmmmmm" This is just snobbery... | |||
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"Your in the babby bean leagues. Step up to jars (thats right, jars, not your pathetic british cans) of high quality polish beans, in a perfectly seasoned tomato sauce with chunks of polish sausage chucked for good measure. Your beans cannot compete with such excellence Ive heard about this before... So let me get this right, out in Poland you have got 3 year old kids working in bean factories for less than 50 pence a day... No wonder you can afford to put them in big posh Jars! No Viz vests, No protective footwear, 22 hour day with No toilet break... Ive heard about that chunky polish sausage they chuck in-there bloody fingers for god sake! It's also a fact that Polish beans in jars give you head cancer, just because there in a fancy jar that you can later wash out and fill full of nuts and bolts does not mean were all going to rush out and buy these beans.. It's also true that Polish beans in jars promote seal clubbing in really small writing at the bottom of the label. "Seal clubbing, nuts and bolts in jars, head cancer, sausages made of fingers and making children do all the hard menial jobs are all manly pursuits ... something I wouldn't expect the estrogen filled 'males' of this country to understand | |||
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"Refuse to buy branston on principle - my ex used to buy them all the time as they didn't have a ring pull lid that would, quote, "Fuck up her nice nails!" and had to be opened with a can opener. These days - I don't give a monkeys which brand as long as they have a ring pull! And as for the 'too much juice' point - very true - but I always pour some away before nuking in the microwave! " Yeah but just pouring that juice down the sink kills wildlife mate... Did you ever think about what happens when a hedgehog comes along? Exactly, straight away his snout starts tucking into the bean juice on the drain cover and after a while it goes all crusty round his lips welding his mouth to the drain cover... Next thing you know your pulling the plug only to find another drowned hedgehog in your drain... I do agree about Branston beans though, if i see them on offer or anything i just try to dint as many cans as possible by fisting them in the supermarket... Nobody catches me, i do it really quick! | |||
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"Refuse to buy branston on principle - my ex used to buy them all the time as they didn't have a ring pull lid that would, quote, "Fuck up her nice nails!" and had to be opened with a can opener. These days - I don't give a monkeys which brand as long as they have a ring pull! And as for the 'too much juice' point - very true - but I always pour some away before nuking in the microwave! Yeah but just pouring that juice down the sink kills wildlife mate... Did you ever think about what happens when a hedgehog comes along? Exactly, straight away his snout starts tucking into the bean juice on the drain cover and after a while it goes all crusty round his lips welding his mouth to the drain cover... Next thing you know your pulling the plug only to find another drowned hedgehog in your drain... I do agree about Branston beans though, if i see them on offer or anything i just try to dint as many cans as possible by fisting them in the supermarket... Nobody catches me, i do it really quick! " Just dont post any pics fisting is a no no. | |||
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"Refuse to buy branston on principle - my ex used to buy them all the time as they didn't have a ring pull lid that would, quote, "Fuck up her nice nails!" and had to be opened with a can opener. These days - I don't give a monkeys which brand as long as they have a ring pull! And as for the 'too much juice' point - very true - but I always pour some away before nuking in the microwave! Yeah but just pouring that juice down the sink kills wildlife mate... Did you ever think about what happens when a hedgehog comes along? Exactly, straight away his snout starts tucking into the bean juice on the drain cover and after a while it goes all crusty round his lips welding his mouth to the drain cover... Next thing you know your pulling the plug only to find another drowned hedgehog in your drain... I do agree about Branston beans though, if i see them on offer or anything i just try to dint as many cans as possible by fisting them in the supermarket... Nobody catches me, i do it really quick! " It's a dirty job....... Personally - I think he should stick to his airline and overpriced cable TV service and leave the baked bean world to the professionals!  | |||
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