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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is it really ever enough to get over a situation when you have felt you have been wronged.

I am a forgiver. What are you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally depends. Some things you can’t forgive.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Mostly yes.. if it’s vindictive no. Forgiveness doesn’t bring me closure. Moving on does.

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By *assage Walsall GentMan
over a year ago

Walsall

Am a forgiver... life is too short. But there is a limit.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Depends how sincere the apology is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/09/19 18:50:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm able to move on and put things behind me. I can forgive, and do, often. In one situation, I've found it impossible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if you steal last bit of milk then forgiven you

Attack and seriously injure my child you best have great life insurance

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Sorry is the hardest word to say, but I don't always believe words only actions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With a couple of things in my life haven't really forgiven but definitely put it to bed and happily moved on ...

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Sorry is the hardest word to say, but I don't always believe words only actions. "

Yeah ask Elton John!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Language Timothy !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Language Timothy !"

I have been on my best behaviour. Sorry if I offended anyone

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Very much depends on the situation and/or the relationship before.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax


"Totally depends. Some things you can’t forgive. "

This

Miss

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can forgive but it doesn't mean I forget or need to ever include the person or people in my life again

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By *elnkazCouple
over a year ago

cheshire

Forgive but never forget!.. K

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always forgive if it’s a sincere apology but there are cases in which i forgive for my sake but never forget what they have done

LJ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends totally on what it is. But I’m not really a forgiver unfortunately. Once the trust is gone it doesn’t come back for me.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Too many people use sorry as a get out of jail free card for bad behaviour. Don’t be sorry.. be a better person..

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I have read all of the replies above and it seems , to me , that people are slightly confused on what forgiveness is, who is it is for or who benefits from it.

It can be quite arrogant to assume that another person wants you to forgive them or that they must be forgiven in order for them to be absolved/understood about an action they have done.

Forgiveness is for the forgiver.... to give them peace to enable them to move on. It's really nothing to do with or for the 'wrong' doer.

Just because you perceive that you have been wronged doesn't mean that the 'doer' believes they have wronged you.

Tricky

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"Too many people use sorry as a get out of jail free card for bad behaviour. Don’t be sorry.. be a better person.. "

I agree that apologies that are just words are meaningless.

I also think it is unneccessary to apologise when someone demands an apology because in their mind they have been badly done to.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Too many people use sorry as a get out of jail free card for bad behaviour. Don’t be sorry.. be a better person..

I agree that apologies that are just words are meaningless.

I also think it is unneccessary to apologise when someone demands an apology because in their mind they have been badly done to. "

Agreed.. it’s got to be genuine and based on a clear understanding of what’s being apologised for. Without that it’s just pointless.

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"Forgive but never forget!.. K"
This

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.

Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.

Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy "

Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not forgive do not forget

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

It depends on what they did, and how sincere the apology is.

Nita

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Some bastard nicked the laces out of ma best Sunday shoes when I was at Boarding School, I never found out who it was, so they are unforgiven

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Some bastard nicked the laces out of ma best Sunday shoes when I was at Boarding School, I never found out who it was, so they are unforgiven "

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.

Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy

Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me "

.... and blow away the ashes

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.

Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy

Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me

.... and blow away the ashes "

On a cliff on a very windy day

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.

Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy

Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me

.... and blow away the ashes

On a cliff on a very windy day "

That sounds to idyllic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it really ever enough to get over a situation when you have felt you have been wronged.

I am a forgiver. What are you? "
well I've never been forgiven every

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.

Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy

Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me

.... and blow away the ashes

On a cliff on a very windy day

That sounds to idyllic "

Well there’s got to be a bit of self enjoyment involved... whilst cackling like a witch

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.

Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy

Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me

.... and blow away the ashes

On a cliff on a very windy day

That sounds to idyllic

Well there’s got to be a bit of self enjoyment involved... whilst cackling like a witch "

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

Depends on the situation, but I do tend to bear grudges for quite a time.

However, my memory is dreadful so I usually soon forget.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it really ever enough to get over a situation when you have felt you have been wronged.

I am a forgiver. What are you? "

I forgive but don't forget.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and forgive and move on but i feel that's for me and my mental state rather than anyone elses. But there are some things that can't be forgiven or forgotten.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and forgive and move on too.

It obviously depends on the situation but some people are just toxic and best cut out of your life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it really ever enough to get over a situation when you have felt you have been wronged.

I am a forgiver. What are you? "

Depends on the context. Usually ok a forgiven (after a while) but some people are unforgivable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is it really ever enough to get over a situation when you have felt you have been wronged.

I am a forgiver. What are you?

Depends on the context. Usually ok a forgiven (after a while) but some people are unforgivable."

I hope I never feel like this about anyone.

I am being pushed at the moment

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By *moothman2000Man
over a year ago

Leicestershire

First time I'll forgive.

Second time I'll quietly close the door behind me and remove myself from the drama.

Follow me through that door and I'll destroy you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends.

There are people I will not forgive.

I won't forgive my ex for the abuse I suffered for years.

I won't forgive the person who saw getting B away from me and into bed with her as a competition she intended to win.

I will forgive judgement errors if the person realises they've made a bad call, but no way will I forgive those who see no wrong in their actions, or even when they do know what they're doing is wrong or twisted and sick, they CHOOSE to do those things anyway. Those people are choosing to hurt you, choosing to be evil.

P

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Depends.

There are people I will not forgive.

I won't forgive my ex for the abuse I suffered for years.

I won't forgive the person who saw getting B away from me and into bed with her as a competition she intended to win.

I will forgive judgement errors if the person realises they've made a bad call, but no way will I forgive those who see no wrong in their actions, or even when they do know what they're doing is wrong or twisted and sick, they CHOOSE to do those things anyway. Those people are choosing to hurt you, choosing to be evil.

P"

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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago

London St Helier Trier


"Mostly yes.. if it’s vindictive no. Forgiveness doesn’t bring me closure. Moving on does. "

Exactly. You have to move.

Waste time and emotion on the past. We do it too much. We dwell too long on the negative.

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

I hate conflict and confrontation, so I am a forgiver

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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago

London St Helier Trier


"I try and forgive and move on but i feel that's for me and my mental state rather than anyone elses. But there are some things that can't be forgiven or forgotten. "

Good way to progress and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mostly yes.. if it’s vindictive no. Forgiveness doesn’t bring me closure. Moving on does.

Exactly. You have to move.

Waste time and emotion on the past. We do it too much. We dwell too long on the negative."

You can move on without forgiving. You can accept something has happened and move on, you don't have to forgive tho. To me forgiving is saying "you know what, that was a prick manoeuvre but it's ok"

Some things will never be ok, but you can move on from them.

P

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