FabSwingers.com forum: When your 49yo mate

By *airytaleOfNewPork OP Man
over a year ago

Close By

Tells you he's leaving his missus for a 25 year old.... Who you know ain't quite right in the swede....

What do you do?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish him well and be there if it goes wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What can you do? He'll still do it anyway...Unless he's telling you so you can tell him he's making a mistake?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

The landlord ofa pub I drink in did that recently.

He's now back with his wife.

Just saying

The grass isn't always greener

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wish him well and be there if it goes wrong "

Exactly this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Comfort his Mrs?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ants cockWoman
over a year ago

lincoln

"Tells you he's leaving his missus for a 25 year old.... Who you know ain't quite right in the swede....

What do you do?

Tell him exactly that. Yes go for it mate. She’s just the right amount of crazy to make the sex good lol

You care for your friend, this is one you just need to step back from.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ants cockWoman
over a year ago

lincoln

"Comfort his Mrs?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Comfort his Mrs?

Now that is naughty and probably likely to get messy...but be an entertaining read on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

A work colleagues hubby did this recently. A year later he’s begging her to take him back.

There’s not much you can do really. Just be a shoulder to lean on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

My friend had a rebound from wife number 2.. wife 3 was batshit crazy, (medically and psychiatrically confirmed). When he needed stability she was a rollercoaster while on an LSD trip. He stuck it out for a while before walking away with his clothes in his car.

He is currently on wife number 4..(who has done time for manslaughter)

All you can do is be that friend. People will make their own mistakes. Many dont like being told their judgement is wrong and will dig their heels in and distance themselves. Stay neutral and close. He may need a friend soon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

[Removed by poster at 28/09/19 00:09:23]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

If it was me, as a friend, I would say WTF are you doing ..... but that’s me

Seen too many male friends do this and within 6-10 months wishing they were back with the wife and family, by that time it’s too late and the damage is done

It’s not only the men mind, the women do it to....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I'd be open and honest in my thoughts to him. But that's just the way I am. He cant be happy at home because he wouldn't have gone looking in the first place for whatever reason. The grass is rarely greener it just looks it at the time. But then as a friend you will be there to pick up the pieces.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Shag her senseless for a few months, then trade her in for a newer model innit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

Aaahhhhh, the old grass is greener.....silly silly person....all's you can do is be there to be fair...unfortunately you can't stop him.from making the obvious mistake he is going too as he Wil probably think that its amazing that he and pull the younger model and that she wants him etc....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish him well and comfort him when it all goes wrong?

No fool like an old(er) fool!

One of my friends dad ran off with a girl our age (26) within 6 months it all went tits up, she ended up getting back with her ex who was the same age as her and he was trying to get back with my friends mom. She told him where to go!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Don't be so meek. Tell him "I think its wrong, I think this girl is crazy".

Are you his mate or his councilor sitting around waiting to help him when he falls down?

Are people so afraid of being alone that they will watch someone make a really bad mistake and say nothing, just hope they can have a friend still at the end of it?

Fuck all that shit, Id rather die alone then spend my life patting someone on the back as they make mistake after mistake and never telling them a true opinion. What a waste of my time being alive that would be.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't be so meek. Tell him "I think its wrong, I think this girl is crazy".

Are you his mate or his councilor sitting around waiting to help him when he falls down?

Are people so afraid of being alone that they will watch someone make a really bad mistake and say nothing, just hope they can have a friend still at the end of it?

I agree. I told my pal he was being played by his younger girlfriend, similar situation. All his other 'mates' just took the piss behind his back.

She dumped him yet again. Now just a month after she dumped him she's with another bloke ('old friend') who left his long term girlfriend for her. But my pal's pissed off at me for telling him the truth.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't be so meek. Tell him "I think its wrong, I think this girl is crazy".

Are you his mate or his councilor sitting around waiting to help him when he falls down?

Are people so afraid of being alone that they will watch someone make a really bad mistake and say nothing, just hope they can have a friend still at the end of it?

I agree. I told my pal he was being played by his younger girlfriend, similar situation. All his other 'mates' just took the piss behind his back.

I’ve never understood why friends don’t tell each other the truth. What’s the point in being friends?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't be so meek. Tell him "I think its wrong, I think this girl is crazy".

Are you his mate or his councilor sitting around waiting to help him when he falls down?

Are people so afraid of being alone that they will watch someone make a really bad mistake and say nothing, just hope they can have a friend still at the end of it?

I agree. I told my pal he was being played by his younger girlfriend, similar situation. All his other 'mates' just took the piss behind his back.

I’ve never understood why friends don’t tell each other the truth. What’s the point in being friends?"

Exactly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Don't be so meek. Tell him "I think its wrong, I think this girl is crazy".

Are you his mate or his councilor sitting around waiting to help him when he falls down?

Are people so afraid of being alone that they will watch someone make a really bad mistake and say nothing, just hope they can have a friend still at the end of it?

Sums it up perfectly..

be honest

be there when it goes wrong

That’s friendship

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Maybe the ones not actively saying “they’d be honest with them and give their opinion” have realised you can tell someone what a big dick they are making of themselves till you are blue in the face. But some folk are just going to do their own sweet thing regardless of your aired opinion, and maybe you’ve been there many times and picked up the pieces and realise it’s a waste of time. Now you just let them get on with it and be there in the end if/when it goes tits up.

Being more verbal in airing your opinion doesn’t make you any better a friend. It just makes you more gobby.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Tell them honestly you think they are making a mistake and then be prepared to support them if it all goes wrong. There is little else you can do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think that if the situation was reversed I'd expect my friend to tell me their honest thoughts. I may not necessarily like it at the time but I'd respect their honesty and the mutual trust in friendship.

If after it all went south, that friend then told me 'I didn't think it was right for you, but didn't say' I'd wonder what the point was in that friendship.

If you can't be honest and direct, speak your mind and be there for each other, then what's the point in being around each other?

Being a nodding dog on the dashboard of my life is no use to anyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pity him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

I'm not going to lie, personally, I'd tell him he was being a fucking idiot (but that's just me).

It's a difficult one to judge since we don't know the full story (what their married relationship is like, is it just the thrill of a younger Woman, etc?), but many men I know, including my own Father, have done this, and then they all try to come crawling back with their tail between their legs in a few weeks/months time.

Hopefully, then, the spouse has moved on and told them to do one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Difficult one, it’s a mid life crisis

But once he realised what he’s loosing he will want to go back

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would be good friends because they know and appreciate my character so they would expect me to give them hell...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would speak to him but carefully and say are you sure this is what you really want, what if this happens etc but you will probably find he's made his decision so you just need to be there if it goes wrong. They could turn out to be perfect for each other

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

it is always sad to see a family breaks but at that age, he should be wise enough to make his own decision or when to ask for advice.

Although it is not desirable, I think it is better to make your own mistake rather than living other people's life and then regret.

Just hope that whatever action he takes, it's going to turn out well for him and his loved ones.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tells you he's leaving his missus for a 25 year old.... Who you know ain't quite right in the swede....

What do you do?

If he’s you mate you gotta tell him as it is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be more inclined to support the wife and family ... if that's what he wants to do then nothing is going to stop him because I'm sure he's intelligent enough to know what is right for him and hopefully, he cares a little about his family ... though not sure by his behaviour

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s what my ex did to me. But thankfully for me it was good riddance to bad rubbish. Sorry but I have little sympathy x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What makes him think he will love this girl more than his wife who he said his vows to? Once hes used to the sex being there he will probably move on to yet another woman or even back to his wife. Once a cheat always a cheat. Or so they say.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he is a friend.. you support his choices. You don't need to agree with them. He will deal with its consequences. Good or bad.. right?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I would voice my opinion to my friend too,being a good friend doesn't mean you have to agree with all they say and do and sometimes need someone to point things out to them.

Miss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Difficult one, it’s a mid life crisis

But once he realised what he’s loosing he will want to go back"

Yep definitely midlife crisis the silly sod

. Hopefully his Misses does the same.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Years ago a friend of mine told me she was going to leave her husband and asked my advice. I just talked it through with her, asked her questions about the guy she was leaving for and her husband, helped her see the value in her marriage etc. She stayed and they both put a lot of work in. BUT this might be the right move for your friend, all you can do is talk to him, listen to him and try not to persuade him one way or another

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tell him to buy the sports car instead as hes having a mid life crisis

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If he is a friend.. you support his choices. You don't need to agree with them. He will deal with its consequences. Good or bad.. right?"

That's about the long and the short of it. All this talk of mid life crisis is a bit patronising when several people's lives could be hugely affected by this.

Contemplating leaving a long relationship isn't something most people do unless there's more going on than one of the couple having a wobble

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tells you he's leaving his missus for a 25 year old.... Who you know ain't quite right in the swede....

What do you do?

"
give him a good slap in the face

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Tell him he can't coz you love him !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

He's 49 and allowed to make his own decisions.

Just still be his mate.

I can imagine the conversation on a night out as you all sip spritzers and watch the rom coms...... awwwwwwwww

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

"Don't be so meek. Tell him "I think its wrong, I think this girl is crazy".

Are you his mate or his councilor sitting around waiting to help him when he falls down?

Are people so afraid of being alone that they will watch someone make a really bad mistake and say nothing, just hope they can have a friend still at the end of it?

I agree. I told my pal he was being played by his younger girlfriend, similar situation. All his other 'mates' just took the piss behind his back.

I’ve never understood why friends don’t tell each other the truth. What’s the point in being friends?"

There's none so blind as those who don't want to see

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Don't ever give your opinion unless it's asked for.

It's not your call. Your opinion doesn't matter.

If it all goes tits up ....... Don't say ' I knew it' either ......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Don't ever give your opinion unless it's asked for.

It's not your call. Your opinion doesn't matter.

If it all goes tits up ....... Don't say ' I knew it' either ......

But, but, but people need to be told what I think even if they think they don't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Don't ever give your opinion unless it's asked for.

It's not your call. Your opinion doesn't matter.

If it all goes tits up ....... Don't say ' I knew it' either ......

But, but, but people need to be told what I think even if they think they don't

Well yes,,,,,, I'd tell him too. I give sound advice but seldom take it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If he is a friend.. you support his choices. You don't need to agree with them. He will deal with its consequences. Good or bad.. right?

That's about the long and the short of it. All this talk of mid life crisis is a bit patronising when several people's lives could be hugely affected by this.

Contemplating leaving a long relationship isn't something most people do unless there's more going on than one of the couple having a wobble"

I agree. Doubt it's something most people decide overnight. Is it shocking because of the age difference?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If he is a friend.. you support his choices. You don't need to agree with them. He will deal with its consequences. Good or bad.. right?

That's about the long and the short of it. All this talk of mid life crisis is a bit patronising when several people's lives could be hugely affected by this.

Contemplating leaving a long relationship isn't something most people do unless there's more going on than one of the couple having a wobble

I agree. Doubt it's something most people decide overnight. Is it shocking because of the age difference?"

I think it's probably considered shocking for that reason, because at his

age he "should know better" and apparently she has a problem with root vegetables.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell him he can't coz you love him !"

Curve ball!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have a word with him , do they have kids that are mixed up In this . A mortgage etc ,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give him a short sharp slap and tell him to get a grip. The 25 year old will dump him soon enough and he’ll end up a lonely old git.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Give him a short sharp slap and tell him to get a grip. The 25 year old will dump him soon enough and he’ll end up a lonely old git. "

Surely he'll be lonely anyway.... cos he's not going to stay with a woman he doesn't want to be with ...... is he ? And if he does.... he'll be lonely anyway ......

Might as well as have some FUN and LAUGHTER before he dies.... even if it is short lived.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Give him a short sharp slap and tell him to get a grip. The 25 year old will dump him soon enough and he’ll end up a lonely old git.

Surely he'll be lonely anyway.... cos he's not going to stay with a woman he doesn't want to be with ...... is he ? And if he does.... he'll be lonely anyway ......

Might as well as have some FUN and LAUGHTER before he dies.... even if it is short lived."

That's all very well but what about the 25 year olds swede? Surely she'd be better off with a greengrocer.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

"Tells you he's leaving his missus for a 25 year old.... Who you know ain't quite right in the swede....

What do you do?

Best thing to do is to mind your own business and let him get on with it.

I have never heard of a 50yr old man saying

"oh i fell in love and was mad about this 25yr old girl but my mate told me to wise up and i listened to him so i didnt get involved with her but i lived happily ever after"

If he did listen and stays with the wife he will hold it against you everytime they have a squabble or she burns the toast etc.

He will be saying i wish i had moved out and took up with that wee 25yr old instead of listening to you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him to really think about what he's doing and to think of the future there is a 22 year age gap between me and my husband, at the time wrap up in the lust was amazing but now its dull as hell! I feel like I'm stuck In a rut with a child involved I feel guilty to leave him as he gave up so much for me!!! This is only my opinion and don't want to be judged by it!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Tell him to really think about what he's doing and to think of the future there is a 22 year age gap between me and my husband, at the time wrap up in the lust was amazing but now its dull as hell! I feel like I'm stuck In a rut with a child involved I feel guilty to leave him as he gave up so much for me!!! This is only my opinion and don't want to be judged by it!!!"

I remember my sister's friend who had married a much older man saying one day she woke up next to an old man and wondered what the heck she was doing. She did leave him in the end.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

My friend was married to a much older man. It worked until it broke up. He left her for a younger woman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tells you he's leaving his missus for a 25 year old.... Who you know ain't quite right in the swede....

What do you do?

Give him a thumbs up and be there when he needs you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

Had this years ago with a mate/boss. He was getting married and I told him I thought he was making the biggest mistake of his life. But he got married anyway.

If hes a close mate you should be able to tell him your concerns. It's up to him to work out what's best for him. What ever he decideds atleast you've made you views clear.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ants cockWoman
over a year ago

lincoln

"Don't ever give your opinion unless it's asked for.

It's not your call. Your opinion doesn't matter.

If it all goes tits up ....... Don't say ' I knew it' either ......

"
love granny’s advice

she knows

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tells you he's leaving his missus for a 25 year old.... Who you know ain't quite right in the swede....

What do you do?

Wish him well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Nothing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good friend will give it to you straight if asked for an opinion surely.Even if he/she didn't like your answer they would still know that you had their best interests at heart.A good friend tells you when you are being a dick but will still be there to pick up the pieces when things go wrong...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"A good friend will give it to you straight if asked for an opinion surely.Even if he/she didn't like your answer they would still know that you had their best interests at heart.A good friend tells you when you are being a dick but will still be there to pick up the pieces when things go wrong..."

What if they just tell you what they're doing but don't ask for your opinion?

I'm all for friendly concern and questioning what seems to be an unwise decision but in this case the use of language implies to me at least that a judgement has been made without finding out the real circumstances.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask him to ask her for a mfm 3sum. You will both be happy then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread