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By *hezu OP   Man
over a year ago

London

I am what I am because of who I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be"

Stephen Hawking

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Baldrick: I have a cunning plan.

Blackadder: Is it as cunning as a fox that's just been appointed professor of cunning at Oxford University?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

[Removed by poster at 17/09/19 01:18:53]

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Farmer's daughter: Daddy was put on this Earth to do one thing and one thing alone, and that is to farm.

Interviewer (Roy Mallard) : And what about your mother?

Farmer's daughter: Oh, sorry. Two things.

People Like Us - spoof documentary, BBC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A like a quote that serves as a useful bit of advise when dealing with trolls online :-

'Never wrestled with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A like a quote that serves as a useful bit of advise when dealing with trolls online :-

'Never wrestled with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.'"

Stealing that... Yoink

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By *azielMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"

Mark Twain

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By *azielMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Sooooo many ?? erm...

"I call her the devil,

cause she makes me wanna sin.

And everytime she knocks,

I can't help but let her in"

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

If nothing else works, a total pigheaded unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through

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By *itKerryMaleMan
over a year ago

kerry


"Baldrick: I have a cunning plan.

Blackadder: Is it as cunning as a fox that's just been appointed professor of cunning at Oxford University? "

I prefer the " a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasel"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t trouble trouble ‘till trouble troubles you

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By *azielMan
over a year ago

Midlands


"Don’t trouble trouble ‘till trouble troubles you "

Like that

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By *ove2Lick!Man
over a year ago

Banbury

Try everything once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mess with the bull get horns up the arse

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Man who goes to bed with itchy bottom..

He wake up with brown finger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it rains look for rainbows when it's dark look for stars

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You my dear

Cannot have my penis

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"You my dear

Cannot have my penis "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wherever i lay my hat thats my home

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By *oss and SuzieCouple
over a year ago

Porthmadog

'When you get old, you don't regret the things you did. Only the things you didn't do.'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken'

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Don’t piss up my back and tell me it’s raining

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Don’t eat yellow snow

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

The darkest hour, is only sixty minutes.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

“ Just shut up and sit on it “

Me

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

I burn my candle at both its ends

It will not last the night

But oh my foes and ah my friends

It gives a lovely light

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By *woPlusUCouple
over a year ago

Heaven

The way to a mans heart, empty balls full stomach.

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

Jeremy Corbyn for Prime Minister.

I've not stopped laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swivel bitches

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

No one has ever become poor by giving. - Anne Frank

Don't hate what you don't understand. - John Lennon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What cums around goes around!

(fab mantra 2019)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twos company,

Three is one hell of an orgasm!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why fit in when you were born to stand out

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By *uHorny1Man
over a year ago

Cannock

General Norman Schwartzkopf when asked about the difference between involvement and commitment:

"Think of your breakfast of eggs and bacon- the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed..."

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip


"Try everything once"

The composer Arnold Bax wrote in his autobiography that everything should be tried once except in'cest and folk dancing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're going to point your finger, make sure your hands are clean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That dress looks fab, but would look better at the bottom of my bed"

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh

What do you mean open him up? He’s not a tin of beans

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Why fit in when you were born to stand out"

Great quote x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/09/19 17:41:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you mean open him up? He’s not a tin of beans"
hahaha yes mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When she says abuse me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You dont stop having fun when you get old .

You get old when you stop having fun.

One life live it.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

It is what it is..

sums so many things up.

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By *hubarbandcustard1000Couple
over a year ago

Dudley

"If you were my husband sir. I would poison you"

"And if you were my wife Madam, I would drink it"

Sir Winston Churchill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

- Atticus Finch

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

- Atticus Finch"

Great book I need to re read this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

time flies when you're enjoying yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my former personal trainer.

"Don't be shit"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cum for me

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

"The day you stop learning is the day you stop living"

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin

Got a new face from Samuel Beckett I saw yesterday:

"Perhaps my best years are gone. When there was a chance of happiness. But I wouldn't want them back. Not with the fire in me now. No, I wouldn't want them back."

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

"Truth is like poetry, and most people fucking hate poetry"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"General Norman Schwartzkopf when asked about the difference between involvement and commitment:

"Think of your breakfast of eggs and bacon- the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed...""

And another of his:

‘Not taking the french into battle is like not taking your accordion deer hunting... all you’re leaving behind is noisy excess baggage’

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"General Norman Schwartzkopf when asked about the difference between involvement and commitment:

"Think of your breakfast of eggs and bacon- the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed...""

When the French refused to take part in operations during the first gulf war ... he also said

"Going to war without the French is like going hunting without an accordion.

All you leave behind is noisy baggage"

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"General Norman Schwartzkopf when asked about the difference between involvement and commitment:

"Think of your breakfast of eggs and bacon- the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed..."

And another of his:

‘Not taking the french into battle is like not taking your accordion deer hunting... all you’re leaving behind is noisy excess baggage’"

Oh ... snap Haha

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

The mind is like a parachute.

It only works when it's open.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

- Atticus Finch

Great book I need to re read this. "

I've not read it

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

From my Dojo;

When you've had a bad day, you need the Dojo.

When you've had a good day, the Dojo needs you.

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

"this is a bag of bollocks" hubby says it all the time and it always makes me giggle Sx

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

His Holiness the Dali Lama;

You should sit and meditate for 5 minutes every day.

Unless you are really busy.

Then you should meditate for an hour.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

[Removed by poster at 17/09/19 18:22:29]

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Lady Astor

Winston, you're dr*nk

Churchill

Lady you are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head.

If you talk to him in HIS language, that goes to his heart.

- Mandela.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

- Atticus Finch

Great book I need to re read this.

I've not read it "

What?!?! Good god get that book read it’s beautiful!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jusqu'ici tout va bien

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By *onghMan
over a year ago

cardiff

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers for thereby some have entertained angels unawares (Hebrews 13:2)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

- Atticus Finch

Great book I need to re read this.

I've not read it

What?!?! Good god get that book read it’s beautiful!!! "

Too busy chatting up beautiful women on Fab

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

- Atticus Finch

Great book I need to re read this.

I've not read it

What?!?! Good god get that book read it’s beautiful!!!

Too busy chatting up beautiful women on Fab "

Ha ha that’s where I’m going wrong.. still choose books and silence!!

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh


"What do you mean open him up? He’s not a tin of beans hahaha yes mate"

Throughly pleased it wasn’t lost on everybody ????

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

The truth is rarely pure let alone simple

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

It's no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person back then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Written in Irish Gaelic on Spike Milligan's headstone :-

' Dúirt mé libh go raibh mé tinn !'

('I told you I was ill !')

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c*nt. Me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

Don't do today what you can get someone else to do tomorrow.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

Also I think it was Jack Nicholson who said..when you get older don't pass a John (toilet),don't trust a fart,and don't waste a hardon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aristotle "In our darkest of moments that is when we must focus and be guided by the slightest of light"

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Einstein

Light travels faster than sound, such that someone may appear bright until you hear them speak

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh


"Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c*nt. Me. "

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Chris Rock...”Feed me, fuck me, shut up”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only thing standing between you and your dreams is the bull shit stories you tell yourself everyday as to why you can’t achieve them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With the film its lost its impact somewhat: but I've always lived by:

"Always look on the bright side of life".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/09/19 08:15:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 18/09/19 08:15:07]"

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching

Love like you’ll never be hurt

Sing like there’s nobody listening

And live like it’s heaven on earth.”

? William W. Purkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fave, especially on fab lol

"A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”

- Muhammad Ali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am the greatest ...I said that even before I knew I was..

Muhammad Ali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I told you I was ill..." Spike Milligans grave...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The result of the referendum will be honoured"..

David Cameron 2016:

(sorry folks)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think you can or you think you can't -you're right"..

Stewie Family Guy.

(I think that's a brilliant quote)

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By *uHorny1Man
over a year ago

Cannock

The one I use frequently when asked to do anything I really don't want to:

"I'd rather stick my head up a dead bear's arse..."

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

"Am I on here because I'm horny or am I horny because I'm on here?"

Me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/09/19 09:47:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty, but today it would be:

'Here we are, trapped in the amber of moment. There is no why.' K. Vonnegut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't reason with stupidity..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Noooooo

Try not

Do

Or

Do not

There is no try

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By *onghMan
over a year ago

cardiff

Who knows but the world may end tonight? (Robert Browning - The last ride together).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man who goes to bed with itchy bum wakes up with dirty finger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If at first you don't succeed, burn all evidence of trying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sell crazy some place else, we're all stocked up here

Jack Nicholson, As good as it gets x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

"Against stupidity, the Gods themselves struggle in vain." Schiller. Never were truer words written!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sooooo many ?? erm...

"I call her the devil,

cause she makes me wanna sin.

And everytime she knocks,

I can't help but let her in"

"

Love this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The wheels spinning but the hamster's dead!

You don't need someone else to make you lonely you can do it all by yourself!

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By *adyH and GrissomCouple
over a year ago

Llantarnum

[Removed by poster at 18/09/19 10:58:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Black Sabbath first started, we were a rock band dabbling in drugs

When Black Sabbath ended we were a drugs band dabbling in rock

Ozzy Osbourne

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By *inn_the_humanMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be kind whenever possible....

It is always possible..

Dalai Lama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jimmy white interview (80s)

So what did you do with your £3 million in winnings?

Jimmy, I spent a million on booze and drugs, a million on prostitute's and I wasted the rest. Best answer ever!!

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By *elliNevvaMan
over a year ago

London

"Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think" Ambrose Bierce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.

Bob Marley

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This German reich will last 1000 Years..

Angela Merkel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am what I am because of who I am"

Did Popeye say this?

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By *ipswingCouple
over a year ago

portrush

old age aint no place for sissies . bette davis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never argue with an idiot. they'll bring you down to their level, and beat you with experience.

- Some bloke

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

- fairly sure it was Oscar Wilde

Be excellent to each other.

- Bill and Ted

Don't be a dick.

- Me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

here today gone tomorrow

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I didn’t realise who I was until I stopped being who I wasn’t

Very true for me

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Fuckoff mother fucker..

The only quote you ever need in life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I didn’t realise who I was until I stopped being who I wasn’t

Very true for me "

youre schizophrenic?

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

There are two people responsible for a badly-designed product - the person who designed it and the person who approved it.

My dad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If whit was shit, you'd be constipated x

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"I didn’t realise who I was until I stopped being who I wasn’t

Very true for me youre schizophrenic? "

Only on a weekend haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tought i taw a putty tat, i did, i did taw a putty tat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Closed mouths don't get fed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I didn’t realise who I was until I stopped being who I wasn’t

Very true for me youre schizophrenic?

Only on a weekend haha "

really which weekend, the one as _carlettx or y

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"I didn’t realise who I was until I stopped being who I wasn’t

Very true for me youre schizophrenic?

Only on a weekend haha really which weekend, the one as _carlettx or y "

Only if its a weekend involving gin

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Last thing to discover water would be fish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're barred from this fairground.. and your children and your children's children and your children's children children and your children's children's children's children....

for two weeks. ....

(fairground chap to Homer Simpson)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you see it buy it because it won't be there tomorrow...... its a quote from me

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Stop fiddling and farting about.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

It’s bit your round it’s .......

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"It’s bit your round it’s ......."

*not

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe


"I didn’t realise who I was until I stopped being who I wasn’t

Very true for me youre schizophrenic? "

I'm a schizophrenic transvestite.

And so is my sister!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Cosmos is all that is or was or ever will be.

Carl Sagan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The Cosmos is all that is or was or ever will be.

Carl Sagan"

But the universe is expanding?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I am become death. Destroyer of worlds.

(Oppenheimer)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The Cosmos is all that is or was or ever will be.

Carl Sagan

But the universe is expanding?"

Yes it is. The universe is inside the cosmos.

Mind blowing huh?!

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

If Stupid could fly you'd be a Jet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These days it takes me all night to do what I used to be able to do all night

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