FabSwingers.com forum: Confidence

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

What makes you feel confident? How do you build your confidence?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Success at what i do

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Just being myself.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Just being myself."

And for those of us who aren't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish i know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Positive attitude and a belief in yourself. Don’t feel you have to conform to anything or anyone else’s vision of what you should be. Just be you, from that will come confidence.

I find confidence is a situation dependent emotion. Sometimes I feel super confident (not arrogant) and others, if it’s slightly out my comfort zone, then confidence level can be low to non existent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look in the mirror every morning and say i am a tiger raaaaaaaa raaaaaaaaa

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I finally realised I'm not here to make others accept me.

I'm just me, I dont try to be anyone else and if people don't like me then that's ok. I'm a good person and it doesn't matter what size I am because all that matters is that I do my best so my daughter realises that's what important in life.

Now I am a confident person xx

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

What I can do or rather could do. Lifes 1 cruel mother fucker

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I finally realised I'm not here to make others accept me.

Now I am a confident person xx"

This is me, too. It took a long time to get there, but I'm OK as I am, I'm doing the best I can, and anyone who demands I be otherwise or puts me down for who I am can take a flying leap.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

[Removed by poster at 16/09/19 10:05:46]

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

There is no right or wrong way to build confidence.

It really comes down to believing in yourself and the decisions you make are correct for you.

Over thinking things can lead to doubt, sometimes it is best to just go with your initial gut reaction. Coupled with not worrying what everyone else thinks about you.

Just be who you want to be

But if that isn’t working put me n a face that oozes confidence even though inside your a bag of nerves !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This platform is a mask, confidence is not that great in real life.

Used to be extremely confident just not anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I have always had it and doesn't really get dented no matter how rude people are. I think a lot has to do with being happy within your skin just learn to like yourself and confidence follows.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I finally realised I'm not here to make others accept me.

Now I am a confident person xx

This is me, too. It took a long time to get there, but I'm OK as I am, I'm doing the best I can, and anyone who demands I be otherwise or puts me down for who I am can take a flying leap. "

You don’t need to read my post, you’re doing it already

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"There is no right or wrong way to build confidence.

It really comes down to believing in yourself and the decisions you make are correct for you.

Over thinking things can lead to doubt, sometimes it is best to just go with your initial gut reaction. Coupled with not worrying what everyone else thinks about you.

Just be who you want to be

I think yes... and no. I personally had to do a lot of thinking and work to be able to get to a point where confidence was a possibility. And I think some of us are just wired to overthink.

We find our own way, though. And I suspect all of the mere mortals among us are works in progress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I simply tell myself that I'm fuckin' awesome. Anyone disagreeing with me, ain't worth my time or effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just being myself.

And for those of us who aren't you?

. Too funny!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Accepting that I can't be in charge of what other people think has been liberating and my confidence has built as a result.

Also, accepting that I am enough and not beating myself up for failing to reach my own self-imposed high standards

I'm more comfortable in my own skin and therefore more confident than I have ever been.

Mrs TMN x

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

[Removed by poster at 16/09/19 10:13:09]

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"There is no right or wrong way to build confidence.

It really comes down to believing in yourself and the decisions you make are correct for you.

Over thinking things can lead to doubt, sometimes it is best to just go with your initial gut reaction. Coupled with not worrying what everyone else thinks about you.

Just be who you want to be

I think yes... and no. I personally had to do a lot of thinking and work to be able to get to a point where confidence was a possibility. And I think some of us are just wired to overthink.

We find our own way, though. And I suspect all of the mere mortals among us are works in progress. "

I agree a lot of work goes into it and there’s a pride when you accomplish it.

The one place I’m not confident is public speaking. I can stand up in front of a room of people I’ve known for years and know what I’m saying is right, but inside I’m a gibberish wreck and talking the speed of light. I know it’s purely down to I don’t like being the centre of attention

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Ooh public speaking. *shudder*

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

"Just being myself.

And for those of us who aren't you?

Be YOURSELF

Once you be the real you..

Who could be you, but you?

Confidence is owning the things that make you an individual

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By *atisfying jackMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"What makes you feel confident? How do you build your confidence? "

I just dont let what other people think of me get to me.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if they dont like me that's their problem.

I'm just happy being me.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Ooh public speaking. *shudder*"

Exactly !

I’m likely to be leaving my job at the end of the year and I will depart early than they think, just to avoid the usual goodbye speech horror and send a timed email instead

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Just being myself.

And for those of us who aren't you?

. Too funny!

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

It took a long time and a few failed relationships for me to be who I always should have been.

I dont judge myself by others standards. There will always be someone bigger, faster, stronger, prettier, cleverer.

But none of those fuckers are me..

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By *ilveryFoxMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

Honesty, integrity, positive attitude, self belief

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By *2and3quartersWoman
over a year ago

Bumbletown

"Accepting that I can't be in charge of what other people think has been liberating and my confidence has built as a result.

Also, accepting that I am enough and not beating myself up for failing to reach my own self-imposed high standards

I'm more comfortable in my own skin and therefore more confident than I have ever been.

Mrs TMN x "

This ^^^

It's been a game changer!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

This is a difficult question to answer. If I'm going in to a situation where I know I'm going to feel less confident than usual I try to make sure I look confident, I dress well, make sure I'm well groomed etc. I also concentrate on not talking too much and holding myself still. Giving the outward appearance of confidence often makes people treat you in a way that gives you real confidence if you see what I mean

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"This is a difficult question to answer. If I'm going in to a situation where I know I'm going to feel less confident than usual I try to make sure I look confident, I dress well, make sure I'm well groomed etc. I also concentrate on not talking too much and holding myself still. Giving the outward appearance of confidence often makes people treat you in a way that gives you real confidence if you see what I mean

Yes, I definitely get into faking it and putting on armour if I have to.

If I'm wearing true black eyeliner, I'm probably nervous

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes, I definitely get into faking it and putting on armour if I have to.

If I'm wearing true black eyeliner, I'm probably nervous

Ha ha if I'm wearing formal clothes and heels so am I.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Well I've been receiving a bit of attention off of fab recently which has really helped. Such a shame that my self confidence and self esteem is based off of the reactions of other people but it is what it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confidence has come with getting older,I like me if others dont that's entirely up to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I’m at my peak - I’m training & eating correctly.

- lifting weights.

- cage fighting

- rugby

So pretty much when I’m always doing something. Then I’m at my most confident

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Well I've been receiving a bit of attention off of fab recently which has really helped. Such a shame that my self confidence and self esteem is based off of the reactions of other people but it is what it is."

I think a lot of people's is. It's why I dress the part in a situation where I know I'm going to feel at a disadvantage even though 98% of the time I genuinely don't care what other people think of me there are times I need to eg job interviews.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It took a long time and a few failed relationships for me to be who I always should have been.

I dont judge myself by others standards. There will always be someone bigger, faster, stronger, prettier, cleverer.

But none of those fuckers are me.."

Love this.

I'm confident in certain areas of my life.

I'm not confident in other areas.

For me it comes from knowing and believing things rather than guesswork or blind hope.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Fab has taught me I can't rely on other people for my confidence. Way too fickle

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I finally realised I'm not here to make others accept me.

Now I am a confident person xx

This is me, too. It took a long time to get there, but I'm OK as I am, I'm doing the best I can, and anyone who demands I be otherwise or puts me down for who I am can take a flying leap. "

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Years of therapy

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

I think confidence comes from various "understanding of yourself" and how you interact with your environment.

Finding and understanding your strength, weakness, passion, mindset and belief also have to be aware not everyone will share the same passion, view especially belief.

You always have to work on yourself to keep the confidence tank full relearning and reexperiencing life.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Fab has taught me I can't rely on other people for my confidence. Way too fickle"

People who love you help you with confidence. Babies are born confident, the people who love them (or are supposed to) either encourage it or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confidence for me is not relying on peoples back pats and sweeteners of kind words to feel good about myself. Something what should ignite from within, but gentle blows of compliments and support can put it on fire.

What is required in my case is a thoughtful choice of people i surround myself with... feeding myself with positives in different forms.. mindfulness.. it is not always easy ride.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By doing my utmost not to lie about anything.

That way I can have full confidence in everything I say being the truth as I see it.

I learnt to like myself and trust myself again. Leaving the door wide open for others to treat me the same, if they feel the same way.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"What makes you feel confident? How do you build your confidence? "

For me , knowledge and experience x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fake it until you make it

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"It took a long time and a few failed relationships for me to be who I always should have been.

I dont judge myself by others standards. There will always be someone bigger, faster, stronger, prettier, cleverer.

But none of those fuckers are me..

Love this.

I'm confident in certain areas of my life.

I'm not confident in other areas.

For me it comes from knowing and believing things rather than guesswork or blind hope.

I've had relationships where I was constantly put down, and made to feel bad for being me.

No more.. I am free to be me. People seem to like that. I have nothing to prove. I dont use social media. I just get up and work my arse off every day. If I'm doing something it's because I want to do it. If I'm with someone it's because we both want to be there..

I dont live surrounded by a fog if vagueness. If I like you I will say so.. if you like me too that's great. I am very rarely misunderstood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I’m in the zone I’m at my most confident. Any other time I’ll be more of less self conscious. I’m certainly not lacking in confidence however I am naturally slightly nervous. It’s in my genes - I blame my mum

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Fake it until you make it! Definitely works for me in public situations.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"What makes you feel confident? How do you build your confidence? "

I used to have issues because of my size, but this is me.

Once I realised that people liked me as I am it was inspirational.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

My confidence seems to have been knocked on an almost daily basis recently.

I have to remind myself of the battles I've fought and won, where I am now compared to 5yrs ago.

It's not easy, negative thoughts are hard to ignore, self doubt & fear can be crippling at times.

There are days I just feel like giving up...

Then I remember I have a lot of people to prove wrong.

I'm not that broken woman shutting herself away from the world anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My confidence seems to have been knocked on an almost daily basis recently.

I have to remind myself of the battles I've fought and won, where I am now compared to 5yrs ago.

It's not easy, negative thoughts are hard to ignore, self doubt & fear can be crippling at times.

There are days I just feel like giving up...

Then I remember I have a lot of people to prove wrong.

I'm not that broken woman shutting herself away from the world anymore.

I dong know why, but you strike me as being confident.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

It's really interesting that many people on this thread who come across - on the surface to me, at least - as confident have in fact struggled with this. Is it to do with knowing yourself better through adversity? I think it is for me.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After years of having any confidence I had stripped from me, I suddenly found the courage to stand up and break the cycle of abuse and become myself again. I struggle a lot of the time but with some very patient important people in my life I’m starting to believe what they say and thinking that I’m worth it.

Its still an ongoing work in progress but getting there slowly x

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Music always helps me, must be the adrenaline listening to Little Mix

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think it can vary dependent on the situation/circumstances etc. - some things I'm fairly confident about and that comes through knowledge and experience.

Some things I'm not so confident about and just have to pull on the big boy pants and wing it and if it's a one off hope that I get away with it, or if it's likely to be a regular thing then hope that the repetition will breed the required confidence as time goes by.

I don't think it's necessarily something you can consciously "get" though more a natural thing that develops over a period of time - although there are (depending what the thing is) of course actions you can consciously take that will ultimately help that sense of confidence if that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look in the mirror

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

I’m not very confident just really good at pretending to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not very confident just really good at pretending to be

Kiss, marry, fuck

Oops, sorry wrong thread

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"My confidence seems to have been knocked on an almost daily basis recently.

I have to remind myself of the battles I've fought and won, where I am now compared to 5yrs ago.

It's not easy, negative thoughts are hard to ignore, self doubt & fear can be crippling at times.

There are days I just feel like giving up...

Then I remember I have a lot of people to prove wrong.

I'm not that broken woman shutting herself away from the world anymore.

I dong know why, but you strike me as being confident. "

I wasn't always, life shit knocks you down.

But I fixed myself, or I thought I had.

Just a few recent events, physical & emotional have brought back a lot of old memories.

Then it becomes a vicious circle.

Think there a few things I need to remove from my life right now, as I know they're a big part of it

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

Public speaking - I hate it! My position in an enthusiasts club means I have to occasionally speak in front of the club members. Thank goodness it`s only once a year!

However, I have to give a very short reading at a funeral this coming Friday. It`s a very short poem that has a big reference to my deceased friend and my need to read the poem is dampening my rear of speaking in public.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"What makes you feel confident? How do you build your confidence? "

I always think I can do things or try.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I finally realised I'm not here to make others accept me.

Now I am a confident person xx"

Go girl! Good for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get on the motorbike and do a few wheelies for the kids at the bus stop.

The rest of the time, I'm a fucking wreck, same as everyone else

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

Not a bloody lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am confident in my work and pastimes/activities, but not so much socially, depending on the group. That said, I am very much couldn't give a toss...not sure how that translates?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Self-confidence is about self-belief. That can be hard to muster sometimes but surrounding yourself with positive people who encourage you and push you along just that bit more each time will build it.

Avoid the negative people ... they have a problem, not you.

Occasionally takes leaps of faith. You will succeed more than you fail. And turn weaknesses into your greatest strength. Work on them until you have.

I'll stop there before I get carried away!

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"What makes you feel confident? How do you build your confidence? "

Discovering your qualities you can improve on and embracing those you cannot.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

My health.

Being well gives me confidence.

And

'D'

He reminds me of what I have and can achieve.

Jo.Xx

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

When I have some I'll let you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle admittedly. I'm very much fake it till you make it. However I have a wonderful husband who supports me and a wonderful guy in my life who has broken down all my walls and when I'm with him I feel like the most beautiful girl alive

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