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I have a problem

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sometimes when I find a new partner/fwb I can't cum. Dunno why but it's happened a few times over the years. Currently I've been seeing someone and we have had sex 3 times. I havent cum yet and last time she said jokingly that she obviously wasnt doing it for me (which isnt the case) but anything said joking always has an element of truth to it. On the other hand she thinks it great that I can last for what seems like forever but its bugging me now. Ladies would you be offended? Men what would you do or say?

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I wouldn’t be offended no, and rationally I know there’s a myriad of reasons it may happen and it doesn’t mean he’s not having fun but I’d probably still worry I wasn’t turning him on a little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you feel about her ? Does she turn you on ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

But it's not like I lose my erection or anything it almost like my dick goes numb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as it was explained to me that it's a issue I wouldn't have a problem with it. I know of guys that can struggle to cum until they really get to know someone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How do you feel about her ? Does she turn you on ? "
she hot as hell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn’t be offended no, and rationally I know there’s a myriad of reasons it may happen and it doesn’t mean he’s not having fun but I’d probably still worry I wasn’t turning him on a little. "

I'd agree with all of this. However if it was happening every time I'd be left feeling very insecure it was me that was the problem

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Tell her what you’ve told us (if you haven’t already).

It’ll ease her mind a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this problem in uni. Would pull have loads of fun then after 2-3 hours still not cum. Only one girl said anything and made it her mission to make me cum. I found that I was just not relaxing and being aware of how I felt too focused on not doing something wrong. When I was comfortable with someone though I would always finish. It still pops up as an issue every blue moon you just have to say that the fact you are hard shows you are into it it's just that final thing that may not happen for a bit.

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Happens to me on occasions. It's like a weird result of.. the only thing I can think of is variation of performance anxiety.. but rather than failing to perform you get locked into putting in a great session. I find that if I have to slow down to stop myself from climaxing too quickly, then it can take me fucking ages to cum. Also if it's a new partner you might not have found each others rhythm yet..

Just relax and give with it..

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Excuse me for sharing personal stuff. I don't mean to put anybody off their cornflakes.

I don't cum easily and it takes me a long time. What I have concluded is that I don't have to ejaculated just because I'm having sex. I will still enjoy it a lot but if my body isn't ready then I'm happy to wait for that bit until it is.

Hannah and I have lots of great sex and it's not a problem to either of us if I don't orgasm because a future sex session will bring it. It will happen at the right time. It's not like I have to wait more than a day or two.

I don't know if that approach would help you OP.

Luke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you get it sorted.

I would feel a little insecure too.

I have that problem, find it very hard to cum with new people.

And the dreaded "I need to make you cum" just makes me cringe because they then turn it into a mission of gigantic proportions, which is a turn off.

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By *urning the kinkMan
over a year ago

bristol

Embrace it

Might mean that you really like this girl and your mind doesn't want the fun to stop.

Think positive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes when I find a new partner/fwb I can't cum. Dunno why but it's happened a few times over the years. Currently I've been seeing someone and we have had sex 3 times. I havent cum yet and last time she said jokingly that she obviously wasnt doing it for me (which isnt the case) but anything said joking always has an element of truth to it. On the other hand she thinks it great that I can last for what seems like forever but its bugging me now. Ladies would you be offended? Men what would you do or say?"
dont think about it it makes it worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find this happens with me with a new partner/FWB, I put it down to simply not building enough of a connection at the start, as I find that further down the line when the trust is built up, I’m back to normal and can cum easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (her) wouldn't be offended if this happens on a meet, this has happened with guys we have invited to join us. There could be a number of reasons behind this matter.

I would be fibbing if I said it didn't cross my mind, but I wouldn't give too much thought to it.

If my boyfriend couldn't cum with me then I would be more concerned and would have a chat about it .... just not during or just after sex, I would pick my timing better for that chat.

Try not to dwell on it, and at the end of the day what matters is the enjoyment between you both in the lead up to climax, so she should look on the positive side and be chuffed to have a guy with stamina.

Carry on enjoying and normal service will resume

C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried to think about me when you fuck her ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried to think about me when you fuck her ?"
lol that would make me cum fer sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried to think about me when you fuck her ?lol that would make me cum fer sure "

There you go x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you tried to think about me when you fuck her ?"
I want to last more than 2 pumps

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

It wouldn’t bother me at all, every man is different, some will cum quickly, others not at all or some even struggle to get hard.

The most important thing is for you both to relax and not put too much emphasis on performing.

Just enjoy being with each other, exploring each other, going with the flow and see where the mood takes you. It doesn’t have to be about cuming, pleasure comes in many forms.

In my experience if you follow the above anything you might see as a hurdle has a way of working itself out naturally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried to think about me when you fuck her ?lol that would make me cum fer sure

There you go x"
like the woman in your avatar by the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried to think about me when you fuck her ?I want to last more than 2 pumps "

Oh ! I get that !

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By *igJandTheBlondeCouple
over a year ago

Kings Hill


"Have you tried to think about me when you fuck her ?"

Made me howl out loud with ear phones on and in the gym

There’s a song in there somewhere Alanis

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Does this happen with other women? Is it new to you? Check any medications you may take, some do exactly that. In my own experience, this was the cause. Ex wife liked it.... No duck walk to the loo afterwards!!

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I had a regular meet that couldn’t and sometimes wouldn’t until our last fuck of the weekend, it never bothered me, I would prefer a guy to finish himself off rather than just keep fucking till the frustration sets in, things don’t become a problem until we make them that way, so try not to get stressed about it, climax in your own way in your own time and just make it a part of that session

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"I wouldn’t be offended no, and rationally I know there’s a myriad of reasons it may happen and it doesn’t mean he’s not having fun but I’d probably still worry I wasn’t turning him on a little. "

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"As long as it was explained to me that it's a issue I wouldn't have a problem with it. I know of guys that can struggle to cum until they really get to know someone.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens to me occasionally, I don't think there is anything wrong with you or her, it's just one of those things... The important factor is your both enjoying each other and not stress about it, I'm sure all good things will cum for her in good time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As human beings, we are not robots. Sounds like a stupid statement but its true. Our bodies rarely work as we want them to. Enjoy the destination yes, but pay just as much attention to the journey along the way

S(m)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've met a couple of men who find it impossible to cum through penetration. I either have them a helping hand or encouraged them to do it themselves. If they still couldn't I just accepted it, I find it difficult to reach orgasm with a new partner so I'd never pressure a guy who couldn't

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not on any medications.

Well think shes ignoring me now anyway

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