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By *ehind closed curtains OP   Couple
over a year ago

East Midlands

We try to respond to all messages we get, out of politeness even if just to say "thanks but no thanks".

It is, however, getting to the point where we are thinking of responding to a high percentage with "RTFP!" - read the f***ing profile - are we the only ones?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We posted a thread the other day about abusive males after a polite “not thanks” it’s not worth the agro so we just delete now

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By *MP3Man
over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis

I don't think that's a common complaint on here.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"We try to respond to all messages we get, out of politeness even if just to say "thanks but no thanks".

It is, however, getting to the point where we are thinking of responding to a high percentage with "RTFP!" - read the f***ing profile - are we the only ones?"

Men, especially don't even read instructions to appliances, let alone a profile on a website.

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

I'd say the vast majority of new messages we get are off people that haven't read our profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ignore the ones I know I'm not interested in. Fab even highlights this so people are made aware it's an acceptable way to behave in terms of message response. That no bad manners or offence should be inferred or taken.

Yet someone took it upon themselves to call me a twat with bad manners for reading and not replying.

I was tempted to respond the first time, as their profile was awful and found them unattractive people in any way, shape, or form. Only I was feeling kind and didn't want to destroy them. So kept schtum.

I wanted to reply the second time, but they'd dumped their bile and mic dropped. Blocked me. Cowards

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By *iguyandbbwCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Iv always said to my OH manners cost nothing and have always tried to reply to all messages, like you say in the OP, if only a thanks but no thanks. But your right, it gets so annoying that people dont even bother reading profile so now our favourite button is the Block....we understand, everyone has their likes/dislikes and personal choices, but rudeness, theres just no need...and jst to add, try keep a reminder of who you've msged, constantly getting repeat msges from men who obviously jst mass msg, hence the start of the blocking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We try to respond to all messages we get, out of politeness even if just to say "thanks but no thanks".

It is, however, getting to the point where we are thinking of responding to a high percentage with "RTFP!" - read the f***ing profile - are we the only ones?"
it doesn't actually bother me i recognise that many dont

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Our policy is that all polite and respectful messages get a polite reply, positive or negative.

People who PM us from the forum with a message that should be on the forum get ignored.

Disrespectful messages (including ones where the sender obviously hasn't read our profile) get snottograms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More agro this morning. We’re fake because we don’t want to meet with a guy that has been abusive several times. Knob

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"More agro this morning. We’re fake because we don’t want to meet with a guy that has been abusive several times. Knob"

Block them the first time they're abusive, that way they don't get a chance to do it several times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"More agro this morning. We’re fake because we don’t want to meet with a guy that has been abusive several times. Knob"

Shame that a lot of peeps can't read profile's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"More agro this morning. We’re fake because we don’t want to meet with a guy that has been abusive several times. Knob

Block them the first time they're abusive, that way they don't get a chance to do it several times. "

We have, several new profiles. Blocked again...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s appalling that they are abusive in the first place.

Blocking might stop them contacting you but they will keep doing it.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"More agro this morning. We’re fake because we don’t want to meet with a guy that has been abusive several times. Knob

Block them the first time they're abusive, that way they don't get a chance to do it several times.

We have, several new profiles. Blocked again..."

What a dick. Block newbies, that way he at least has to wait a week to message you and might just get bored of it. And report him too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s appalling that they are abusive in the first place.

Blocking might stop them contacting you but they will keep doing it. "

Unfortunately this particular male has been abusive to several friends of ours also when he gets rejected. Once blocked they tend to pop up with another profile every few months

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Manners cost nothing but sometimes I feel a F**k off reply is warranted (never sent one yet) but you never know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"More agro this morning. We’re fake because we don’t want to meet with a guy that has been abusive several times. Knob

Block them the first time they're abusive, that way they don't get a chance to do it several times.

We have, several new profiles. Blocked again...

What a dick. Block newbies, that way he at least has to wait a week to message you and might just get bored of it. And report him too. "

Reported, again. It’s a shame because it spoiled it for a lot of the genuine nice guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My replies have become very sarcastic as I don't know how many more ways I can write not meeting. I have now made myself sound insane on my profile instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My replies have become very sarcastic as I don't know how many more ways I can write not meeting. I have now made myself sound insane on my profile instead "

Is it working?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We try to respond to all messages we get, out of politeness even if just to say "thanks but no thanks".

It is, however, getting to the point where we are thinking of responding to a high percentage with "RTFP!" - read the f***ing profile - are we the only ones?

Men, especially don't even read instructions to appliances, let alone a profile on a website."

I don't think it's just men.Theres a lot of other females and couples that feel entitled and dare you refuse them sex.I always reply to messages even if it's a no thank you but there are the odd idiots who take that as a insult and send abusive messages back.Male female couples there's idiots and nice ones in them all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My replies have become very sarcastic as I don't know how many more ways I can write not meeting. I have now made myself sound insane on my profile instead

Is it working? "

It's cut them down by about 90% but I've still had 5 messages in the last hour occasionally I reply with sarcasm the rest I mass delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"More agro this morning. We’re fake because we don’t want to meet with a guy that has been abusive several times. Knob

Block them the first time they're abusive, that way they don't get a chance to do it several times. "

Spot on. Gotta hit block. Far too many knobs on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get. "

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant."

An arrogant idiot? No one can demand a response simply as they wrote a message. I learnt years ago no matter how polite and soft you are with people, many can kick off after direct rejection in a message. So I just ignore instead. I have been ignored too and it does not bother me, no response is a response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s incumbent for a person sending a message to read the profile and what the person/couple is looking for . And if you think you suit those criteria , then by all means message. I think then a response is only a polite if only to say no thanks . If however the person messaging has clearly not read the profile then they can get in the sea .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant."

Unfortunately 90% the abuse we’ve had has come from a polite “no thanks” must be the rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We try to respond to all messages we get, out of politeness even if just to say "thanks but no thanks".

It is, however, getting to the point where we are thinking of responding to a high percentage with "RTFP!" - read the f***ing profile - are we the only ones?

Men, especially don't even read instructions to appliances, let alone a profile on a website."

Ha! But yes!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant."

Are you joking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

Are you joking? "

If you act as arrogant as the idiots then that's lowering your standards to there level.A simple no thanks isn't hard to write and if they kick off just blank or block them but at least you've not acted like a entitled egotist by blanking there message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

Are you joking?

If you act as arrogant as the idiots then that's lowering your standards to there level.A simple no thanks isn't hard to write and if they kick off just blank or block them but at least you've not acted like a entitled egotist by blanking there message."

I am not getting drawn into an argument with someone half my age, happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

Are you joking?

If you act as arrogant as the idiots then that's lowering your standards to there level.A simple no thanks isn't hard to write and if they kick off just blank or block them but at least you've not acted like a entitled egotist by blanking there message."

Would that be the same if it's a woman not replying?

I agree with you, just wondering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

Are you joking?

If you act as arrogant as the idiots then that's lowering your standards to there level.A simple no thanks isn't hard to write and if they kick off just blank or block them but at least you've not acted like a entitled egotist by blanking there message.

I am not getting drawn into an argument with someone half my age, happy fabbing "

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By *iguyandbbwCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I (Bobby) unusual just go straight to block button, I look straight at the profiles and if it says straight click and gone I carnt be arsed to read the messages, today we have had it several times just because Rosie put an update saying I wonder what today will bring, it brings nob heads, we have noticed thoe sum women on here don't help matters they like how man essage so the men then think that's what people like, if the read theyed see everyone is different and possibly have more of a chance,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant."

I disagree. Fabs thrown it out there as official advice.. ignoring messages as fine.

Besides.. you can't expect some very popular profiles to reply to every message they get, no matter how well written.

30 new messages in one day? Nobody got time for that shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

Are you joking?

If you act as arrogant as the idiots then that's lowering your standards to there level.A simple no thanks isn't hard to write and if they kick off just blank or block them but at least you've not acted like a entitled egotist by blanking there message.

I am not getting drawn into an argument with someone half my age, happy fabbing "

I'm not arguing I'm just saying it looks arrogant not to reply even if it's just a no thanks.Turn the tables.If you sent a message and they just deleted with no reply it instantly looks arrogant.Thats all I'm saying I don't want to argue I just think people should be more friendly to each other and take no notice of the ones that can't handle rejection.Dont give them the attention they crave.Age is nothing as I think manners are above self importance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

I disagree. Fabs thrown it out there as official advice.. ignoring messages as fine.

Besides.. you can't expect some very popular profiles to reply to every message they get, no matter how well written.

30 new messages in one day? Nobody got time for that shit."

300 messages in a typical day yet I always reply even if it's a no thanks.I think it's good we all act differently.I don't agree with the ignoring messages is fine advise but that's just my opinion and we all are entitled to act the way we want.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Happens to me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

Are you joking?

If you act as arrogant as the idiots then that's lowering your standards to there level.A simple no thanks isn't hard to write and if they kick off just blank or block them but at least you've not acted like a entitled egotist by blanking there message.

Would that be the same if it's a woman not replying?

I agree with you, just wondering. "

In my view it's the same for all regardless if it's a male female or couple it looks less arrogant to reply to who ever spends there time to write you a message.we will all see things differently but to me it looks egotistical to just delete.

Anyway I will shut up now lol I've said how it looks to me and I won't say any more as some think putting your views across is a argument not a discussion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We try to respond to all messages we get, out of politeness even if just to say "thanks but no thanks".

It is, however, getting to the point where we are thinking of responding to a high percentage with "RTFP!" - read the f***ing profile - are we the only ones?"

You don’t owe anyone a reply if they message you especially if they don’t read your profile.

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By *iguyandbbwCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"We try to respond to all messages we get, out of politeness even if just to say "thanks but no thanks".

It is, however, getting to the point where we are thinking of responding to a high percentage with "RTFP!" - read the f***ing profile - are we the only ones?

You don’t owe anyone a reply if they message you especially if they don’t read your profile.

"

Spot on

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By *iguyandbbwCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

Are you joking?

If you act as arrogant as the idiots then that's lowering your standards to there level.A simple no thanks isn't hard to write and if they kick off just blank or block them but at least you've not acted like a entitled egotist by blanking there message.

Would that be the same if it's a woman not replying?

I agree with you, just wondering.

In my view it's the same for all regardless if it's a male female or couple it looks less arrogant to reply to who ever spends there time to write you a message.we will all see things differently but to me it looks egotistical to just delete.

Anyway I will shut up now lol I've said how it looks to me and I won't say any more as some think putting your views across is a argument not a discussion "

Y should people put themselves out to write a reply when people don't put themselves out to read a profile? And that isn't aimed at just men it's couples too, u say its arrogant yes it might be but why should they get our time when they don't give us there's?

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By *ehind closed curtains OP   Couple
over a year ago

East Midlands


"My replies have become very sarcastic as I don't know how many more ways I can write not meeting. I have now made myself sound insane on my profile instead "

Unfortunately if someone can't read / understand a profile sarcasm tends to go right over their head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

I disagree. Fabs thrown it out there as official advice.. ignoring messages as fine.

Besides.. you can't expect some very popular profiles to reply to every message they get, no matter how well written.

30 new messages in one day? Nobody got time for that shit.

300 messages in a typical day yet I always reply even if it's a no thanks.I think it's good we all act differently.I don't agree with the ignoring messages is fine advise but that's just my opinion and we all are entitled to act the way we want."

I've hot better things to do than reply to those I've no interest in. I get about 15 messages a day, from friends. I can handle that. 300, I'd shit my inbox down and stick to out boxing. Yourd right though, good we're all different.

I wouldn't think you were rude if you ignored me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read the profile first. While I fully understand the 'not interested, not worth replying' way of thinking, especially if you are inundated with messages, I have to say I have really appreciated the 'thanks, but no thanks' messages I have received. Of course I'm not pushy, or abusive, that's just unacceptable on any level. Nor do I persist once a message has been read/deleted with no reply.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

It's in the FAQ for the site, accepted behaviour we all agree to when we sign up. So it's neither rude or arrogant if you follow those guidelines.

Should I respond to 'i'm going to make you my slut tonight' or 'fancy a fuk' or the really temping 'i'll destroy your arse' I don't think I'm being arrogant or rude by just deleting and blocking, and it's on my profile to state I'll do that.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"Save yourself time and energy by ignoring those you are not attracted to and especially those who have not read your profile. It drives me mad how many have not read my profile based on amount if faceless messages I get.

That just makes you look like a arrogant idiot like the ones that don't like refusal.If they have took the time to write a message then a simple no thanks is polite and doesn't make you look arrogant.

Are you joking?

If you act as arrogant as the idiots then that's lowering your standards to there level.A simple no thanks isn't hard to write and if they kick off just blank or block them but at least you've not acted like a entitled egotist by blanking there message.

Would that be the same if it's a woman not replying?

I agree with you, just wondering.

In my view it's the same for all regardless if it's a male female or couple it looks less arrogant to reply to who ever spends there time to write you a message.we will all see things differently but to me it looks egotistical to just delete.

Anyway I will shut up now lol I've said how it looks to me and I won't say any more as some think putting your views across is a argument not a discussion "

I'm curious, how do you reply to a message that isn't asking you to meet? No thanks is fine for them, but if someone messages me asking how my day is going, a "no thanks" reply seems more arrogant than no reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We try to respond to all messages we get, out of politeness even if just to say "thanks but no thanks".

It is, however, getting to the point where we are thinking of responding to a high percentage with "RTFP!" - read the f***ing profile - are we the only ones?"
another zzzzz i dont wanna read em never have and it never once harmed my bang quota or my targets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply how you like I guess. I don't think you need approval from anyone here to say anything? Try it and see how things go, but usually when ppl are dicks I find it's best to ignore or block and avoid further drama Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely replied but I did have that on my profile. If you’re not what I’m looking for or it’s clear you haven’t read my profile I will delete. It’s just easier that way and also avoids unnecessary abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two profiles on here, this one, and one for my male self. I get quite a few messages as Scarlet, and lots of offers from guys, and get routinely ignored by women on my male profile (which has no hint of my other life, before I get any witty retorts)! So I can sympathize with both sides.

Personally, I always try and reply to messages. I find the 'you know the rules when you sign up' attitude quite cold, but then maybe I'm too soft for a swinging site.

The only ones I don't reply to are the 'How are you?' type because I'm not here for small talk. Maybe I've been lucky so far but I haven't had any abusive replies. If i did, it would be an instant block. In any case I don't think you should feel obliged to respond if people are not paying attention to your profile.

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