FabSwingers.com forum: Social nerves

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

For a Fab social. Do you ever get them? How do you work past them?

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I do get them

sometimes it feels so bad that I wonder why I’m doing it!

I just don’t give in to it, the same as when I get nervous about other things. I focus on the positive and try not to throw up because that is very unappealing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that the other person is likely nervous too so I'll usually make a joke about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Realise other people are probably feeling the same. Imagine everyone else is naked. Smile and look people in the eyes. Find something in the surroundings, outfits, etc to make small talk about until the conversation flows freely....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that the other person is likely nervous too so I'll usually make a joke about it

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Realise other people are probably feeling the same. Imagine everyone else is naked. Smile and look people in the eyes. Find something in the surroundings, outfits, etc to make small talk about until the conversation flows freely...."

This is the right way of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nerves is part of the excitement, but admittedly as a couple it's easier to be relaxed than a single. No different to going to a club for us, the day we stop having butterflies on the way or getting ready is the day we stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a lady for a coffee social and felt the nerves. I never thought I would of felt like that so much.

I'm not sure how to cope with it. Maybe have an alcoholic drink next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im sure it puts plenty off

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By *dreamofunicornsWoman
over a year ago

wakefield

I normally reach for a large gnt and then just go with them,there just part of the build up

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I do. Not sure it's nerves as such, more an adrenaline rush. Sometimes, very rarely I get a bit nervous. Like Zipper, I try and remember the other person is probably feeling the same. I have some amazing friends who listen to me go through my usual "oh, what happens if they don't like me?" train of thought.

I think when I don't get them I know I'm not that excited about it.

It's fine once I am there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get very nervous, but I won’t let it beat me. I do think some nerves are good x

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I get excited nerves, but I tend to arrange with a first meet to go straight in for a icebreaker snog and that normally blasts those butterflies away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think to be nervous is probably a natural state, but an excita le nervous absolutely

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yes definitely,I just try to put the nerves to one side and not listen to them too much

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Every single time but once I’m through the door I’m fine xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worst part is the journey, well for me anyway. K is more confident. I spend the majority of the way to meet people thinking about heading back home! Once I’m there and chatting all is ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.... don't do nervous...

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I’ve only really met people I’d got to know pretty well as friends first so there’s been no expectation. Still a wreck but that’s with anything sociable so I try to just rationalise the fear x

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Nope.... don't do nervous..."

That's good,I don't think many people can say that.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

I have social anxiety and rarely go out irl unless it’s with one particular friend. However with fab stuff, I love it. I get nervous but in a good way. I feel more relaxed with fab people. I’d never go in a regular nightclub but I love going to swingers clubs. I’m not super confident but I feel more accepted I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope.... don't do nervous...

That's good,I don't think many people can say that."

Excited but not nervous about meeting someone new x

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

I used to ...

But then I turned into a fab social organiser, so really had no excuses after that

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I’ve only really met people I’d got to know pretty well as friends first so there’s been no expectation. Still a wreck but that’s with anything sociable so I try to just rationalise the fear x"

I remember your panic at attending the December MLS - which as it turned out you were fine with

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I don’t do nerves - butterflies of anticipation yes!

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I remember your panic at attending the December MLS - which as it turned out you were fine with

I was genuinely terrified! Still am of group situations.. so thankful people were lovely even though I didn’t get to meet that many!

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Group situations can definitely be daunting. It's something that hopefully can be worked through with experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually get the ‘what if they don’t fancy me’ nerves , once I’m there with a drink I’m fine!

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Yes I'm quite bad sometimes.

I never used to be, but health has forced anxiety upon me.

I'm lucky though I don't go anywhere without D and he keeps me calm and collected.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a nervous wreck for socials. I feel quite comfortable meeting for sex, and yet meeting in civvies for a coffee fills me with terror! Always leave feeling fine though.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I usually get the ‘what if they don’t fancy me’ nerves , once I’m there with a drink I’m fine!"

That used to be my big problem. I tend to pretend they're not going to fancy me, so it'll be a nice chat, and I can be pleasantly surprised if I'm wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a social last week and I spent the whole day worrying about it. When I met them, it was absolutely fine, as it usually is,but I still get ridiculously nervous. Probably more so when I really like them and feel like they're out of my league

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Yes I'm quite bad sometimes.

I never used to be, but health has forced anxiety upon me.

I'm lucky though I don't go anywhere without D and he keeps me calm and collected.

Jo.Xx "

sorry to hear that Jo!!! Looking forward to a lot of laughter next week

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I tend to get a nervous tummy when i’m nervous so i’m usually too busy looking (and praying) for a toilet that’s close enough to leg it to

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I had a social last week and I spent the whole day worrying about it. When I met them, it was absolutely fine, as it usually is,but I still get ridiculously nervous. Probably more so when I really like them and feel like they're out of my league

I hear you.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I get terrified!!

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I get a bit of a nervous tummy, butterflies almost and do worry what I'm going to say will come out wrong but after about 10 minutes I'm usually fine

Feel like this about the MLS

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Yes I'm quite bad sometimes.

I never used to be, but health has forced anxiety upon me.

I'm lucky though I don't go anywhere without D and he keeps me calm and collected.

Jo.Xx

sorry to hear that Jo!!! Looking forward to a lot of laughter next week

Thanks Saff

Can't wait to catch up with you!

Jo.Xx

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Think it’s normal to be a little nervous...I usually will have a little gin just to settle my nerves that tends to work for me x

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I meet so rarely these days I get really nervous. Deep breaths!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do, but i think it's normal. I build up a connection with someone before a social and i am pretty picky with who i meet. So because of this the nerves aren't there for long and it feels like I'm just meeting a friend

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

The first group social I went to yeah there were just a few nerves but none at subsequent ones. I didn't really get nervous when arranging more intimate socials but as it's been so long since I managed one of those I guess I might have now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every one I go to I get nerves, I'm not really someone who thrives in big groups, so normally I put on a big smile and then break the big group down into smaller groups and look at it that way. Also helps when there's soo many friendly, funny and wonderful people about.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Every one I go to I get nerves, I'm not really someone who thrives in big groups, so normally I put on a big smile and then break the big group down into smaller groups and look at it that way. Also helps when there's soo many friendly, funny and wonderful people about. "

You looked more scared of the small group later on!!

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think in bigger groups, it's easier when you've got friends going already.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Think the guy I was due to meet at 8 has them, since he hasn't showed up lol!

Jo x

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Awww thanks MM.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv only ever been truly worried nervous twice for a social

I meet strangers for a job so im normally fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/19 20:14:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You looked more scared of the small group later on!!

It was the video as I sat down that threw me off, abit of warning would have been nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww thanks MM.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

You looked more scared of the small group later on!!

Jo.Xx

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

You looked more scared of the small group later on!!

It was the video as I sat down that threw me off, abit of warning would have been nice. "

Ha ha whoops!!! She’s a naughty one.. I promise there will be no more videos next week..

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I get extremely nervous but push through it. I talk a lot with nerves too which gets mistaken for confidence. So far I've waffled on but not made any faux pas yet x

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I get excited but not nervous...I love meeting new people and getting to know them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get a bit of a nervous tummy, butterflies almost and do worry what I'm going to say will come out wrong but after about 10 minutes I'm usually fine "

Same. And i dont worry about it anymore, as it can be regarded as a positive sign too

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