FabSwingers.com forum: Make me laugh

By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Ok tough day ahead, so I’d be grateful if you could leave a message here that is likely to make me laugh, your best joke or a funny story or something just way out there, and help me escape the reality of the day for a little while.

Thanks

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By *atisfying jackMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"Ok tough day ahead, so I’d be grateful if you could leave a message here that is likely to make me laugh, your best joke or a funny story or something just way out there, and help me escape the reality of the day for a little while.

Thanks

Oh put on the spot so my funny bones have left me, however thoughts for you on your tough day, hope you get through it...stay strong

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By *imes_berksMan
over a year ago

Bracknell

Be noticed I suddenly keep shouting out broccoli and cauliflower all the time. The doc reckons I could have florets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a man and going for a spray tan for holidays!! My kids thought it was Feckin hilarious!!! And when told them I had exfoliated ??!!! Pissed themselves.....good job I didn’t tell them I had shaved all over!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tottenham are the greatest tea and will win the treble this season

Coys x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U cannot have my penis

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

Awwwww sweety I don't know any jokes, but.......let me show you where I've grown a hair

.....

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By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

Wll, whilst at the bank yesterday a little old lady asked me to check her balance.

......so I pushed her over....

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By *eterthescientistMan
over a year ago

wirral

Did you hear the one about the short sighted circumciser?

He got the sack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/19 08:43:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb her name was Spurs chick,if you got close to her she'd give you a little lick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awwwww sweety I don't know any jokes, but.......let me show you where I've grown a hair

....."

Not there again

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

I went to join my local yoga club and they asked am I flexible. I said I can do any days other than Tuesday and Friday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look at the bad jokes thread

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Saw my ex being jumped by a gang if 4 guys so I went to help.

Bitch didn't stand a chance against 5 of us.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I've heard there's now a hotline for abused household appliances. Apparently it was started by the owner of a hoover that was fucked within an inch of its functioning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've heard there's now a hotline for abused household appliances. Apparently it was started by the owner of a hoover that was fucked within an inch of its functioning

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Sorry to hear you have a tough day Spurs

No tacky jokes I’m afraid but as I know you like making others happy I thought I would share a memory I have of a pic challenge with fruit sliding down a sexy body

it made me smile today thinking about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pochettino won't be at man utd by the end of the season

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I'm crap at jokes but I do hope your day doesn't prove so tough.

Sending positive vibes and strength for the day xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bill Bailey: I took my gran to Manhattan recently. She saw lots of things she'd never seen in her life before. One of which was a 6'5" black transvestite.

She said "ooh, ain't she got big hands like you're uncle Ray!"

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

A girl asked me up to hers, as I sat down she asked" if I'd like an exotic tea?"

I said "yes please"... next thing I knew a tea bag hit me square between the eyes!!.."what the f##k !!". I shouted ..

"its hurl grey!!" She replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a DJ, I have been to a lot of weddings.

The last one was a very emotional day.

Even the cake was in tiers

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"A girl asked me up to hers, as I sat down she asked" if I'd like an exotic tea?"

I said "yes please"... next thing I knew a tea bag hit me square between the eyes!!.."what the f##k !!". I shouted ..

"its hurl grey!!" She replied."

I laughed ..it bad..real bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to the sperm bank yesterday.

They asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.

I said, I know I'm good, but I really dont think I'm ready to enter a tournament

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went to the sperm bank yesterday.

They asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.

I said, I know I'm good, but I really dont think I'm ready to enter a tournament

Yoink... Blatantly stealing this one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm an amazing sex god

Well if that doesnt make you laugh....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paid £400 up front to a carpenter to make us a new double bed, but he's done a bunk

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I went to the sperm bank yesterday.

They asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.

I said, I know I'm good, but I really dont think I'm ready to enter a tournament

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Thanks all, I’ve read, I’ve groaned and I’ve laughed... I’ll respond when capable

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

My dick pics work?

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

"A girl asked me up to hers, as I sat down she asked" if I'd like an exotic tea?"

I said "yes please"... next thing I knew a tea bag hit me square between the eyes!!.."what the f##k !!". I shouted ..

"its hurl grey!!" She replied.

I laughed ..it bad..real bad "

Ha ha not heard that one..l

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Thanks

Oh put on the spot so my funny bones have left me, however thoughts for you on your tough day, hope you get through it...stay strong

Thanks... so many of you list your funny vibes

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Be noticed I suddenly keep shouting out broccoli and cauliflower all the time. The doc reckons I could have florets."

Tis a groan

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

My cock is always good for a laugh.

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I’m a man and going for a spray tan for holidays!! My kids thought it was Feckin hilarious!!! And when told them I had exfoliated ??!!! Pissed themselves.....good job I didn’t tell them I had shaved all over!!! "

Should have told them you had a back and crack

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Tottenham are the greatest tea and will win the treble this season

Coys x"

But that’s the truth

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"U cannot have my penis

Sorry loos I never wanted it

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Awwwww sweety I don't know any jokes, but.......let me show you where I've grown a hair

....."

I’m intrigued.... tell me

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Wll, whilst at the bank yesterday a little old lady asked me to check her balance.

......so I pushed her over....

You bully

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Did you hear the one about the short sighted circumciser?

He got the sack "

Ouch

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Mary had a little lamb her name was Spurs chick,if you got close to her she'd give you a little lick

Would taste like vodka right now

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question? "

Eh ??

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I went to join my local yoga club and they asked am I flexible. I said I can do any days other than Tuesday and Friday."

Need to be more flexible

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Look at the bad jokes thread

Your living it or is that loving it

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Saw my ex being jumped by a gang if 4 guys so I went to help.

Bitch didn't stand a chance against 5 of us."

Damn sloppy seconds or fifths

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it."

Sorry that’s a groan

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I've heard there's now a hotline for abused household appliances. Apparently it was started by the owner of a hoover that was fucked within an inch of its functioning

What was the make and model number

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Sorry to hear you have a tough day Spurs

No tacky jokes I’m afraid but as I know you like making others happy I thought I would share a memory I have of a pic challenge with fruit sliding down a sexy body

it made me smile today thinking about it

D."

Lol the whipped cream failure

a fun memory xx

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Pochettino won't be at man utd by the end of the season "

Now that did have me laughing... Man U still so diliyssionsal .... and I can’t dpell after vodka

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took a picture of what can only be described as a 6ft, slim, big bummed, smartly dressed goddess on the train this morning.

She said, "what do you think you are doing?"

I replied, "I wanted a picture so I can send it to Santa and let him know what I want for Christmas!"

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm crap at jokes but I do hope your day doesn't prove so tough.

Sending positive vibes and strength for the day xx"

Thanks Annabelle, been a tough day counselling, now my time and time to process my own situation tomorrow

2020 will be a year of change for me

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By *hezuMan
over a year ago

London

Velcro is such a rip off

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Bill Bailey: I took my gran to Manhattan recently. She saw lots of things she'd never seen in her life before. One of which was a 6'5" black transvestite.

She said "ooh, ain't she got big hands like you're uncle Ray!" "

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"A girl asked me up to hers, as I sat down she asked" if I'd like an exotic tea?"

I said "yes please"... next thing I knew a tea bag hit me square between the eyes!!.."what the f##k !!". I shouted ..

"its hurl grey!!" She replied."

Made me laugh, not sure what is expecting about earl grey though... surely at least passion fruit or mani

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"As a DJ, I have been to a lot of weddings.

The last one was a very emotional day.

Even the cake was in tiers

Boom boom

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I went to the sperm bank yesterday.

They asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.

I said, I know I'm good, but I really dont think I'm ready to enter a tournament

Selling yourself short

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm an amazing sex god

Well if that doesnt make you laugh....

Still to find out

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Flipper was arrested today for prostitution ring he was charged with taking two prostitute cross state border for immoral porpoises

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Paid £400 up front to a carpenter to make us a new double bed, but he's done a bunk

Boom boom and groan

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"My dick pics work?"

Just seen them... now you just need a sky remote and bulging boxers

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By *hrobjMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Have I ever told you my opinion of windmills?

Big Fan.

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"My cock is always good for a laugh. "

If you can’t laugh during sex when can you

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I took a picture of what can only be described as a 6ft, slim, big bummed, smartly dressed goddess on the train this morning.

She said, "what do you think you are doing?"

I replied, "I wanted a picture so I can send it to Santa and let him know what I want for Christmas!""

Ooh outbox the box thinking.... sure your a man

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Velcro is such a rip off "

Groan

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Flipper was arrested today for prostitution ring he was charged with taking two prostitute cross state border for immoral porpoises"

Groan

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Have I ever told you my opinion of windmills?

Big Fan."

Oh my and I just thought it was my time with Ne Smirnoff, but it’s getting worse !

Grain

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By *ttis669Man
over a year ago

Warrington

Old but good one!

Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Old but good one!

Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field"

Uh oh....

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I'm crap at jokes but I do hope your day doesn't prove so tough.

Sending positive vibes and strength for the day xx

Thanks Annabelle, been a tough day counselling, now my time and time to process my own situation tomorrow

2020 will be a year of change for me "

change can be scary but very necessary and can bring with it great possibilities. The work will be so worth it xx

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm crap at jokes but I do hope your day doesn't prove so tough.

Sending positive vibes and strength for the day xx

Thanks Annabelle, been a tough day counselling, now my time and time to process my own situation tomorrow

2020 will be a year of change for me

change can be scary but very necessary and can bring with it great possibilities. The work will be so worth it xx"

Todctrue what will be will be.., one dAy at a time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a man who is a masochist. He likes nothing more than an ice cold shower each morning .... so he has a hot one.

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I know a man who is a masochist. He likes nothing more than an ice cold shower each morning .... so he has a hot one. "

Does t compute

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Someone stole my antidepressants.

Whoever they are, I hope they're happy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm an amazing sex god

Well if that doesnt make you laugh....

Still to find out

Guess I am

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Ladies swimming pool changing rooms are much nicer than the mens aren’t they?

Apart from the screaming.....

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I'm sorry you've had a tough day S, and I do hope the Smirnoff helped a wee bit and wishing you no hangover in the morning.

Jo.Xx

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm an amazing sex god

Well if that doesnt make you laugh....

Still to find out

Guess I am

Myou dibt you are

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Ladies swimming pool changing rooms are much nicer than the mens aren’t they?

Apart from the screaming....."

Screaming dirjevthers the men’s cuz they are straight sbd his fur is they de each naked one

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm sorry you've had a tough day S, and I do hope the Smirnoff helped a wee bit and wishing you no hangover in the morning.

Jo.Xx "

Hangover Pratt never

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

2020 here we come what will you bring

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

"2020 here we come what will you bring

Ireland holding the Rugby World Cup perhaps

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"2020 here we come what will you bring

Ireland holding the Rugby World Cup perhaps

Yogvevhad nore smirnoffcthan me

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

"2020 here we come what will you bring

Ireland holding the Rugby World Cup perhaps

Yogvevhad nore smirnoffcthan me

Weissbier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last week, I got stung by a Bee.

£30 for a jar of honey!

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

My butcher tried to charge me £200 for eight legs of venison.

I said that's too deer....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a deaf gynecologist?

A lip reader.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the best part of a blowjob?

Ten minutes of peace and quiet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are there no women on the moon?

Because it doesn't need to be cleaned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you do when your wife is staggering?

Shoot her again.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Man swallowed by whale keeps running to the end till he all pooped out.

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Last week, I got stung by a Bee.

£30 for a jar of honey!

You bought the whole hive I think

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"My butcher tried to charge me £200 for eight legs of venison.

I said that's too deer...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's black and white and red all over

An assassinated nun

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"What do you call a deaf gynecologist?

A lip reader."

I shouldn’t have laughed but I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tottenham are the greatest tea and will win the treble this season

Coys x"

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"What do you do when your wife is staggering?

Shoot her again."

You found a let’s have a dig at women joke book

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do when your wife is staggering?

Shoot her again.

You found a let’s have a dig at women joke book

Haha...one of my favourites!

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Man swallowed by whale keeps running to the end till he all pooped out."

Literally

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"What's black and white and red all over

An assassinated nun"

Groan ... it could have been worse and a penguin

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By *pursChick aka Shortie OP Woman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Tottenham are the greatest tea and will win the treble this season

Coys x

The triple

but hey good to dream

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Piece of tarmac goes into a bar and orders a lager and whisky chaser. He then proceeds to tell everyone how hard and tough he is. All of sudden a piece of tarmac with a white stripe on it walks in and the plain piece of tarmac hides in the corner. When the white stripe tarmac has left the plain tarmac comes back and everyone says to him i thought you said you were hard? I am he says but I'm not messing with white stripe, hes a cycle path!

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