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Bad joke of the day

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By *eusch OP   Man
over a year ago

peterborough

What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again..

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By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

What's Forrest Gump's password???

1forrest1

....

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By *eusch OP   Man
over a year ago

peterborough

Lol brilliant

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By *ge_load_ladMan
over a year ago

NW & Mids

Whats the difference between a magicians wand, and a policemans truncheon?

Ones use for cunning stunts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/09/19 15:52:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was getting a handjob off my gf i asked how are you so good at this

Years of practice she said

Oh bit of a player were you back in the day i laughed

No she replied my dad had no arms

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By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush


"I was getting a handjob off my gf i asked how are you so good at this

Years of practice she said

Oh bit of a player were you back in the day i laughed

No she replied my dad had no arms

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was getting a handjob off my gf i asked how are you so good at this

Years of practice she said

Oh bit of a player were you back in the day i laughed

No she replied my dad had no arms

"

I think you win bad joke of the day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was getting a handjob off my gf i asked how are you so good at this

Years of practice she said

Oh bit of a player were you back in the day i laughed

No she replied my dad had no arms

I think you win bad joke of the day! "
i always win

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By *nnnikCouple
over a year ago

Walsall

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want "

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By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush


"A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want "

One of my All Time Favourites.....

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Little boy goes up to his dad in the garden and asks "Dad, what's sex?"

His dad sits him down, starts talking about the birds and the bees, relationships, courting, the natural progression from foreplay, oral, toys, sex, anal, and touches on BDSM, watersports, bestiality, necrophilia, kinks.. then catches himself and says " Why do you ask?"

The son replies "Mum said dinner will be ready in a couple of secs"

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

A little boy and girl in the swimming pool. Little boy said “I’m going to duck you”. “No you’re not” she replied. “Anyway, you can’t even say it right”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's green and goes backwards at 400mph??

"sniff"

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By *nnnikCouple
over a year ago

Walsall


"I was getting a handjob off my gf i asked how are you so good at this

Years of practice she said

Oh bit of a player were you back in the day i laughed

No she replied my dad had no arms

"

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By *hezuMan
over a year ago

London

Are you Ladesh cause I want to Bangladesh

......i know its bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman are being chased by the police so they duck down an entry but it's a dead end. Theres nothing in the entry but 3 empty sacks so each man decides to hide in a sack. The police man runs into the entry and sees no one but notices the 3 sacks and kicks the first one and the Englishman inside goes "Woof woof" and the cop thinks there must be a dock in the sack so he moves on. He kicks the second sack and the Scotsman inside goes "meow" and the cop thinks there must be a cat inside and moves on. He gets to the third sack, kicks it and the Irishman inside shouts "Potatoes!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

English, Irishman and Scotsman are tendering for the job of building of wall.

Englishman says I'll do it for £1000: 500 materials and 500 labour.

Scotsmans tender is 700 materials and 400 labour.

The Irishman takes the fella aside and says look I'll do it for 3 grand.

The site manager says how do you work that out?

He says easy, a grand for you, a grand for me and a grand for the English fella to build the wall.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear the one about the magic tractor...it went down the lane and turned into a field!

Ill get me coat!.....

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

The barman looks up and says

"Is this some sort of joke?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does a guy with a 12" cock have for breakfast?

I'll tell you in the morning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because he was stuck in the chicken!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?

Clint Eastwood makes your day

Anal sex makes your hole weak!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

The barman looks up and says

"Is this some sort of joke?""

I adore bar jokes. This is one of the best.

I'll add a man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila as the barman pours them he's necking them one by one as fast as the barman can pour them.

The barman says "you're drinking a bit quickly aren't you mate?"

The man says "you'd drink quickly if you had what I've got"

Barman says "why what have you got?"

Man says "£1.35"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

The barman looks up and says

"Is this some sort of joke?"

I adore bar jokes. This is one of the best.

I'll add a man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila as the barman pours them he's necking them one by one as fast as the barman can pour them.

The barman says "you're drinking a bit quickly aren't you mate?"

The man says "you'd drink quickly if you had what I've got"

Barman says "why what have you got?"

Man says "£1.35""

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

The barman looks up and says

"Is this some sort of joke?"

I adore bar jokes. This is one of the best.

I'll add a man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila as the barman pours them he's necking them one by one as fast as the barman can pour them.

The barman says "you're drinking a bit quickly aren't you mate?"

The man says "you'd drink quickly if you had what I've got"

Barman says "why what have you got?"

Man says "£1.35""

Oh ..I like this one

A lobster walks into a bar

Barman says "no... you.. you're banned "

The lobster shrugs and says "why?"

The barman replies ... "you come in here, giving it this ... "

.

I heard this one on the radio and laughed so much ... even more si as it's a visual joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

The barman looks up and says

"Is this some sort of joke?"

I adore bar jokes. This is one of the best.

I'll add a man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila as the barman pours them he's necking them one by one as fast as the barman can pour them.

The barman says "you're drinking a bit quickly aren't you mate?"

The man says "you'd drink quickly if you had what I've got"

Barman says "why what have you got?"

Man says "£1.35"

Oh ..I like this one

A lobster walks into a bar

Barman says "no... you.. you're banned "

The lobster shrugs and says "why?"

The barman replies ... "you come in here, giving it this ... "

.

I heard this one on the radio and laughed so much ... even more si as it's a visual joke "

My favourite joke in the whole world has a visual punchline. If I ever see any of you guys at a social remind me to tell it to you...

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By *nnnikCouple
over a year ago

Walsall

Wife: Did you know a bull fucks 3,000 times a year WHY CAN'T YOU

Husband: Ask the bull if he fucks the same miserable cow every night

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By *entish79Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Someone just gave me an ancient sewing machine. But it seams ok.

A good friend of mine drowned recently. At the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well it’s what he would have wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why shouldn't you buy underwear from Russia?

Because Chernobyl fallout

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried chatting a gorgeous blonde up in the pub last night, she said no thanks I'm on my cycle. I said that's not a problem we can stick it in the boot of my car.

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