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Prejudice or Preference?

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

What is the difference? I know that i like what i like, but why do i find myself apologising for it? Do you do the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the difference? I know that i like what i like, but why do i find myself apologising for it? Do you do the same? "

I think of 'preference' as, 'tried something similar & enjoyed', while 'prejudice', as 'tried something similar & not enjoyed'.

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle

Prejudice is defined as: An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

Whereas Preference would be: The selecting of someone or something over another or others, or the right or chance to so choose.

I don't think you can compare the two words because they mean such different things, xxx

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Prejudice is defined as: An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

Whereas Preference would be: The selecting of someone or something over another or others, or the right or chance to so choose.

I don't think you can compare the two words because they mean such different things, xxx "
You can on here, there seems to be a mix up of both of the words and how they are interpreted, people seem to like to muddy the waters at times you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we often find ourselves saying "I'm sorry" but I think we are more sorry because we don't like to have to say no, rather than the preference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

prejudice is an uniformed mindset, or tarring someone with the same brush, just because they appear on the surface to fit a particular mould... so (without wishing to get too contentious!)

prejudice: all single men on here are [insert stereopype]

preference: some single men on here are [insert stereotype] some/many others are not. I choose to spend my time with ....

you should perhaps (in some circles) apologies/feel awkward about a prejudice, but not for stating a preference.

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"prejudice is an uniformed mindset, or tarring someone with the same brush, just because they appear on the surface to fit a particular mould... so (without wishing to get too contentious!)

prejudice: all single men on here are [insert stereopype]

preference: some single men on here are [insert stereotype] some/many others are not. I choose to spend my time with ....

you should perhaps (in some circles) apologies/feel awkward about a prejudice, but not for stating a preference.

"
So why, when stating ones preference do people misinterpret it as prejudice?

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle


"You can on here, there seems to be a mix up of both of the words and how they are interpreted, people seem to like to muddy the waters at times you know"

Yes, you are quite right hun, nothing like a game of smoke and mirrors to confuse the soul, mwah, xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"prejudice is an uniformed mindset, or tarring someone with the same brush, just because they appear on the surface to fit a particular mould... so (without wishing to get too contentious!)

prejudice: all single men on here are [insert stereopype]

preference: some single men on here are [insert stereotype] some/many others are not. I choose to spend my time with ....

you should perhaps (in some circles) apologies/feel awkward about a prejudice, but not for stating a preference.

So why, when stating ones preference do people misinterpret it as prejudice? "

there are many of us here who dont know each other aside from a bit of virtual banter, so my view is this happens because we dont know the person well enough to know how anothers expression of opinion is formed ... and thus it becomes easier to be come (overly?) defensive in the face of a (perceived?) threat or injustice.

equally expressing a message in text sometimes loses the sublties of verbal or face to face conversations - sometimes the words that are read by someone are not interpreted as the writer intended...

relationships are such a piggin' minefield the minute they involve more than one person!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mean when people write statements like 'no salad dodgers or fat lazy mingers' and when challenged on the ignorance and insults they state 'we are allowed to have a preference'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You mean when people write statements like 'no salad dodgers or fat lazy mingers' and when challenged on the ignorance and insults they state 'we are allowed to have a preference'!"

That's a good example of using derogatory phrases to express a preference - in something like that someone who took offence to the turn of phrase could then see that as a prejudice.

Speaking as one of the 'saladless'* fraternity, I read so many profiles on here wanting "fit, young, athletic men" (hell I even read one profile on here which actually asked that potential playmates were not over a certain BMI) that I could start to think there was a prejudice. Its not, its just a preference.

Some preferences invoke a feeling of prejudice, often because of social conventions and it can be a little tricky to word it right. Then again, you could also realise that your never going to please all of the people, all of the time.

.

.

.

* Ironically, I actually eat so much salad that my chlorophyll index must be at the point where I can photosynthesise my own oxygen at night!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well on here, a prejudice appears to be a negative, something that is socially unacceptable.

Preference seems to be socially acceptable...

However, its all about interpretation, I don't think there are any definitive answers... some people will see weight/ racial/Bi as preferences, and some as prejudices!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You mean when people write statements like 'no salad dodgers or fat lazy mingers' and when challenged on the ignorance and insults they state 'we are allowed to have a preference'!"

sadly there will always be someone who expresses their view in an what appears to be inconsiderate or intolerant way... but was the statement written with genuine malice in mind? or a (some may say failed) attempt at humour...?

if someone you didn't know makes a sarcy comment would you brush it off in the same way as you would if a close friend said the same thing? Personally i would tend to react more defensively towards the stranger, simply because i wouldn't be totally sure of them.... and therein lies the difficulty...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Prejudice is defined as: An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

Whereas Preference would be: The selecting of someone or something over another or others, or the right or chance to so choose.

I don't think you can compare the two words because they mean such different things, xxx

You can on here, there seems to be a mix up of both of the words and how they are interpreted, people seem to like to muddy the waters at times you know"

That's the crux of it though, it's THEM muddying the waters, not you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Prejudice is defined as: An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

Whereas Preference would be: The selecting of someone or something over another or others, or the right or chance to so choose.

I don't think you can compare the two words because they mean such different things, xxx

You can on here, there seems to be a mix up of both of the words and how they are interpreted, people seem to like to muddy the waters at times you know

That's the crux of it though, it's THEM muddying the waters, not you."

Personally though, I do think there are some phases or terms of reference used on here which can be seen (whilst not directly indicating a prejudice) as inflammatory.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"Prejudice is defined as: An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

Whereas Preference would be: The selecting of someone or something over another or others, or the right or chance to so choose.

I don't think you can compare the two words because they mean such different things, xxx

You can on here, there seems to be a mix up of both of the words and how they are interpreted, people seem to like to muddy the waters at times you know

That's the crux of it though, it's THEM muddying the waters, not you.

Personally though, I do think there are some phases or terms of reference used on here which can be seen (whilst not directly indicating a prejudice) as inflammatory. "

I agree - I view a positive profile being one where the person states what they prefer 'I prefer slim playmates' rather than the negative 'I don't like fatties'. It's just kinder and more respectful to those outside of their preferences.

I also think it speaks volumes about the writer. I've seen profiles with a seemingly endless list of negatives .. No fatties, No smokers, No black people, No marrieds ... and thought 'sheesh - you negative misery guts!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes you have to point out what you dont want bluntly. Some dont take no for an answer if you are polite. Choice is something everyone should have but hateing on what you dont like is not on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So why, when stating ones preference do people misinterpret it as prejudice? "

Because some people just love to feel offended, perhaps 'claiming' attention in what they perceive as a negative way, is better than no attention at all

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