FabSwingers.com forum: Single life question

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nothing to do with FAB or swinging but.....

Does there come a point in time where you accept you'll never meet that perfect partner you've envisaged in your mind? (not referring to looks)... I have a growing list of women I've dated in the vanilla world then I've let them go because they haven't ticked all the boxes, and every time, i question if I've made the right decision. Would you hold out for what you think you're looking for whilst letting a potentially good catch slip through your fingers?

Incase this comes across as vein, there's been plenty of times when I've been let go off too.

I think i know the answer but reading peoples opinions will hopefully make me see sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can't envisage sharing a lifetime together, then no, you are right to move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m similar age and single OP and can understand exactly what you mean.

For me I think I’ve focused too much on things that matter less in the long term. I do want a long term relationship that’s for sure. Things make a lot more sense at this age than they did previously for me. I now know to focus on more than the short term. Not sure if I’m making any sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if I'll ever fall in love again. Whether I still have the capacity..

I mean.. I love my children, family and friends and people for who they are.. but 'in love'? It'd be nice, but it's looking doubtful

No, I'd not compromise. I'd rather be single than be with the wrong person.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I believe, absolutely and without question, that when you stumble upon “the one” then you will know and there will be no need to second guess.

I Also believe that maybe there isn’t one “the one”. That our soulmates may enter and leave our lives and perhaps come back again.

I also think that there’s a lot of fun to be had in the meantime.

V x

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Having spent half my life with the wrong person, miserable.

Then no, I won't compromise.

I'd rather be single than with someone who didn't fulfil me completely

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

you know I don't have a picture of the perfect partner in my head. I just know when it's right I'll feel it.

I'd rather not settle so yes, if needed I would spend my life doing me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you can't envisage sharing a lifetime together, then no, you are right to move on."

Simple, yet effective way of looking at it, thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been single for almost 10 years (give or take a recent dalliance) I genuinely now feel I'll never find the one. .

My happy ever after has to come from learning to love myself , not from having someone else love me.

It's taken me a long time to work that out. It's going to take me just as long to probably achieve it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m similar age and single OP and can understand exactly what you mean.

Think i hear you mate... In our younger years there was nothing to worry about except attraction, as we get older there's other factors to take into consideration like kids, time etc.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We both thought we would never meet the right person and then we stumbled across each other entirely by accident. So yes, you can reach a stage where you think you will never meet the right person but that doesn't mean you are correct about that.

My strong advice is not to see relationships as a tick-box exercise. It's much more important that you get on well and see eye-to-eye than your partner meets a list of preconceived categories.

Luke

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Sort out what you genuinely can't live with or without then compromise on the rest. There is no such thing as a perfect partner but if what you really want is perfection I'm afraid you will always be walking away and wondering if you've done the right thing.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London&Dublin

Well, if it is hard for you guys M and F, what more can be said for people like me.

I can use the word "accept' to hide the word "give up" or "despair". Chin up and just enjoy. When life gives you lemon, make lemonade.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I love my son and immediate family. Friends I care about.

I’m at a point in my life where I don’t ever expect to love anyone else again. After last time I vowed never again. I struggle to let anyone get close to me, if I get even a hint I run.

It’s tough sometimes of course, but I’d never settle to be with someone just to have someone around, knowing I can’t give them what they want.

I’m a single child so always been used to my own company, so that makes it easier.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wonder if I'll ever fall in love again. Whether I still have the capacity..

I mean.. I love my children, family and friends and people for who they are.. but 'in love'? It'd be nice, but it's looking doubtful

No, I'd not compromise. I'd rather be single than be with the wrong person.

guess the future is not ours to see but never say never. Most of them i know they are the wrong person, but there's one person in particular that I'm not sure about. I guess the fact I'm questioning it, means they ain't the right one.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I wonder if I'll ever fall in love again. Whether I still have the capacity..

I mean.. I love my children, family and friends and people for who they are.. but 'in love'? It'd be nice, but it's looking doubtful

No, I'd not compromise. I'd rather be single than be with the wrong person.

I think it's good to question and not go blindly into a situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m similar age and single OP and can understand exactly what you mean.

Think i hear you mate... In our younger years there was nothing to worry about except attraction, as we get older there's other factors to take into consideration like kids, time etc. "

Yes, another thing to consider is the role of men and women in society has completely changed over the last 50-70 years. It makes it difficult to find and/or maintain a long term relationship or marriage any more. Something to think about to help you prepare for that long term when it comes for you hopefully.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I'd prefer to be with no one than just anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I believe, absolutely and without question, that when you stumble upon “the one” then you will know and there will be no need to second guess.

I Also believe that maybe there isn’t one “the one”. That our soulmates may enter and leave our lives and perhaps come back again.

I also think that there’s a lot of fun to be had in the meantime.

V x "

The "fun" bit is one thing I'm good at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been with the wrong person too many times in the past

9ish years single now, he'd have to be damn amazing for me to consider a relationship

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

Always trust your gut instinct.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

I've been single all my life except for a 2 year period when I met someone, got engaged, but we split 2 months before our wedding.

In time, I knew I'd let that vital person slip out of my life.

I've resigned myself at my age, I won't find anyone else to match her.

I enjoy my own company and I daresay I've become set in my own ways too, so life is ok.

But whilst I'm in f/t work which helps, I retire in 22 months which will be a major step into the unknown.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No.

My needs change but I still want what I want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing to do with FAB or swinging but.....

Incase this comes across as vein, there's been plenty of times when I've been let go off too.

I think i know the answer but reading peoples opinions will hopefully make me see sense. "

Been single 5 years and accepting that this is life for me now, been hurt too much and trust is a major thing now so single itvis forever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer single life now do as I want less stress come and go as I want only myself to answer to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At 45 I've accepted the fact there isn't "the one," for me. Never been in love or been loved by a guy.

But have a great son, family and few good friends who love me and learning to love myself and have let go the life I thought I'd have and just accepted the one I've got.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been very happily single for 26 years now, and as my life is changing wouldn't mind to find someone to share the next adventures with but will happily do them on my own rather than share them with the wrong person! Never actually had a bad relationship, just never met anyone I wanted to share the rest of my life with!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all, some very wise words said by you all.

I think I know what i have to do....

Time to embrace the single life and have a lot of fun whilst I'm at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's better to be single than to "settle".

There are times, often, that I'd love the company of a partner, but not if meant a whole bucketload of compromise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That special person will enter your life when you’re least expecting , when you go looking for that said person nothing happens , then bang when not looking & totally unexpected there they are & happy ever after . I guarantee it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's really hard for me to answer as I had the perfect love

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By *ightkitty4uWoman
over a year ago

Epsom

If it’s not the right fit let it go, I’d rather be single than in a relationship I’m unhappy in or having to be mindful of what I do all the time!

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