FabSwingers.com forum: Accepting yourself as you are

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's hard, isn't it? Sort of a spin off from another thread. Being treated differently because of your size can do your head in. Media bombardment etc. The fickle waves of Fab attention.

You, yes you, are enough as you are. Here's to the vast, colourful variety of humanity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's hard, isn't it? Sort of a spin off from another thread. Being treated differently because of your size can do your head in. Media bombardment etc. The fickle waves of Fab attention.

You, yes you, are enough as you are. Here's to the vast, colourful variety of humanity. "

Cheers to that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes, accept yourself as you are but please don't think that because someone looks a certain way that automatically makes their life easier or better.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Lovely thread Swing.

Jo.Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman55Man
over a year ago

S’th West Mc/r

I try to but it gets harder and harder the older I get....not being wanted is the worst part x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I am what I am, and I'm happy with that. If others aren't happy with the way I am that's their problem, not mine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well to be honest OP I was very slim until an illness in my mid 30s and to say it was hard adjusting to my new body shape is an understatement

But I can honestly say that I've never being treated any differently because of it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman55Man
over a year ago

S’th West Mc/r

"Well to be honest OP I was very slim until an illness in my mid 30s and to say it was hard adjusting to my new body shape is an understatement

But I can honestly say that I've never being treated any differently because of it"

You look great now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iam what iam

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Agreed. It's best if we can accept ourselves as we are. It would be much easier if everybody else accepted us as we are too. Sadly there are significant players in society who don't or won't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

The media and marketing world have a lot to answer for how people are perceived or what the “normal” person should be like.

Everyone is unique and different, it would be very boring if we were all the same.

If someone doesn’t like something about you, then that’s their problem not yours

You need to learn to love yourself for who you are. If you think something needs changing and you can, then do it..... but do it for you and not because of someone else.

Love yourself first, as that’s who you will be spending your life with !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well to be honest OP I was very slim until an illness in my mid 30s and to say it was hard adjusting to my new body shape is an understatement

But I can honestly say that I've never being treated any differently because of it

You look great now "

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Well said

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The media and marketing world have a lot to answer for how people are perceived or what the “normal” person should be like.

Everyone is unique and different, it would be very boring if we were all the same.

If someone doesn’t like something about you, then that’s their problem not yours

You need to learn to love yourself for who you are. If you think something needs changing and you can, then do it..... but do it for you and not because of someone else.

Love yourself first, as that’s who you will be spending your life with !

Spot on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Yes, accept yourself as you are but please don't think that because someone looks a certain way that automatically makes their life easier or better."

No. It's not a competition and comparison doesn't help.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman55Man
over a year ago

S’th West Mc/r

"Yes, accept yourself as you are but please don't think that because someone looks a certain way that automatically makes their life easier or better.

No. It's not a competition and comparison doesn't help. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

Screw the media.....it's all lies and bullshit that they feed us....they cause all these body dismorphia issues....

Love yourself people, we are all beautiful people, our differences make us unique and should be celebrated....we all have a lot to offer in sure....

huzzah

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Yes, accept yourself as you are but please don't think that because someone looks a certain way that automatically makes their life easier or better."

Exactly. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors or the history of a persons life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we can accept ourselves as we are then how others see us is less important.

If we can't then we can always change, one step at a time.

Sometimes that change, it isnt easy, but finding that inner peace and knowing our own worth only comes if we do....

Maybe we are all in some ways a work in progress, and should be a little kinder to ourselves, and....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

There is accepting yourself for who you are but some see it as a way of not trying to improve yourself. Sometimes it is perception what one person thinks is fat another can’t see it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

[Removed by poster at 04/09/19 10:21:17]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lovely lovely thread. I really struggle with confidence sometimes and struggle to think why people would be interested in me when I have a confidence hit. But I know I can look ok when I am in nice clothes and makeup etc. However Sunday morning I had bed head, no makeup and was naked and the man I was with made me feel like I was the most beautiful person on the planet. So I'm feeling quite happy and confident right now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

I am what I am and if someone dont like it tough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be nobody else but me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think not comparing yourself or your life to your friends or the happy stories you see on social media is quite important. It's easy to see and want what you dont have, best to be thankful for what you do have

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm me, take me or leave me, I have flaws and things I'd change given the chance but overall I'm a decent person and don't scrub up too shabbily - it's who I've been for 54 years now and for the most part I like me - whether others choose to do so is for them to decide and me to accept or ignore.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

I think it becomes easier to accept yourself the older you get ............ or is it just a case of not giving a flying fuck what other people think of you the older you get?

Either way I'm happy with who I am right now which wasn't always the case.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lovely lovely thread. I really struggle with confidence sometimes and struggle to think why people would be interested in me when I have a confidence hit. But I know I can look ok when I am in nice clothes and makeup etc. However Sunday morning I had bed head, no makeup and was naked and the man I was with made me feel like I was the most beautiful person on the planet. So I'm feeling quite happy and confident right now. "

You look absolutely scrumptious in my opinion but I think it's tougher for men. I have weight issues and when you see all the men on here who are so fit it tends to knock my confidence

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"There is accepting yourself for who you are but some see it as a way of not trying to improve yourself. Sometimes it is perception what one person thinks is fat another can’t see it."

Please let's not. You don't know anyone else's story. Their health is none of your business. And self acceptance helps with many things, including weight loss.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

As somebody who lost over 10st

Went from a size 26 to a 14

I am well aware of being judged differently now.

People who didn't give me the time of day a few yrs ago, suddenly showing an interest

Thanks, but no thanks..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Yep, life is for living.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think a good place to start accepting yourself is accepting other people. If you can do that without making assumptions about them from the way they look (which seems to be what most people mean by accepting yourself) it might be easier to accept yourself in the same way.

I dunno, maybe I'm talking rubbish

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I love & like myself and that’s all that matters to me. What others think of me has no impact to that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I love & like myself and that’s all that matters to me. What others think of me has no impact to that.

We think that way too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think a good place to start accepting yourself is accepting other people. If you can do that without making assumptions about them from the way they look (which seems to be what most people mean by accepting yourself) it might be easier to accept yourself in the same way.

I dunno, maybe I'm talking rubbish

I think it depends on the nature of your confidence issues. It wouldn't have worked for me. It might work for others.

I had to start from within and do a lot of work on myself. I hope others are in a different situation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like me just the way I am and the bits I might not be so fond of I work hard to change! I like other people for who they are too or I walk away!

Luckily don't have a tv or do social media and work with people enabling them to change so life is good!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social media has a lot to answer for too! These days it is not enough to just be yourself. It is thrusted on you to be:

-Gym Fit and a dietician

-New car every year

-New iphone every Sep/Oct

-Travel to several countries a year

-Surely 1,000 followers on insta is quite less?

-Uni finished by 21

-Career by 23

-House before 25

-Kids? (Well I’m sure the way parents are told they’re wrong and not good enough could have a whole thread of it’s own!)

-Any much much more!

I feel sorry for the kids who will grow up and get blasted by the full power of this shite. I’m sure these pressures have always been present but it is definitely more powerful and prevalent than before.

More than ever it is important for adults to work on and promote good mental/emotional strength and stability. Everything seems to be designed to make you feel like something is wrong, but don’t worry for £££ you can be just fine and happy!!

Glad I have friends and family who are caring. Anyone ever want to have a chat or feel down feel free to say hi. I’m always an ear for anyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I dunno, maybe I'm talking rubbish

I think it depends on the nature of your confidence issues. It wouldn't have worked for me. It might work for others.

I had to start from within and do a lot of work on myself. I hope others are in a different situation. "

It's interesting to me. I'm starting to understand more about confidence issues from reading posts like this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Nice OP.

People who really know who they are will:

- know their good points

- accept their bad points and either laugh at oneself or strive to improve oneself rather than getting angry at what other people say

- able to make decision based on their individual needs

- courageous enough to go against the flow

- humble enough to not forcing others to accept their principles

- confident enough to accept others as who they are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think accepting and owning our "flaws" is key.

Yes I can be headstrong, yes I can be sensitive, yes... I can be very suspicious of people and their motives.

On the flip side of that those same "flaws" are

Headstrong = passionate, steadfast, strong moral compass in what matters to me. Also makes me incredibly loyal.

Sensitive = I care about things, I care about people

Suspicious = I'm an abuse survivor who's here to live another day and hopefully inspire others. If being suspicious of the motives of others is the worst I have to face following on from nearly losing my life then you know what? I'll take it with bells on. It's proved me right since then, given me the courage to trust my gut instead of peoples words. I'm strong, stronger than I thought I was, smarter than I thought I was, I'm me again. A wiser, more guarded me who knows the world isn't a magical place where everyone is who they pretend to be, but that doesn't stop me finding and appreciating magic when it happens.

I heard something a few nights ago that rung so true to me...

I might not be the prettiest, the smartest or the most talented, but what I have is important..... and I am special.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As somebody who lost over 10st

Went from a size 26 to a 14

I am well aware of being judged differently now.

People who didn't give me the time of day a few yrs ago, suddenly showing an interest

Thanks, but no thanks.. "

Well done,and good for you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"As somebody who lost over 10st

Went from a size 26 to a 14

I am well aware of being judged differently now.

People who didn't give me the time of day a few yrs ago, suddenly showing an interest

Thanks, but no thanks.. "

Me too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Is accepting yourself about looks?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle with confidence in myself, I’ve been trying hard to change myself, have lost lots of weight but that’s left me with a stomach that makes me look worse than when I was fatter. So some days I don’t accept or like myself. But my personality I’m much more accepting of myself x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

very shallow but I can't accept myself at present

medication has changed my body significantly over the last 3/4 years - this was out of my control

unfortunately nothing I'm doing is changing it.

im trying to embrace it BUT I'm just not me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is accepting yourself about looks?"

I take it as mental flaws/quirks too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is accepting yourself about looks?"

Not for me.

I've been many shapes and sizes, I've found the issues lie elsewhere. When I've been unhappy with how I look it's normally when I'm unhappy about something else in my life.

If I was to look at someone else with my face and body I'd think "wow, she looks great"

Yet if I'm feeling off kilter inside I can look at myself and think "you're gross, why are you trying to kid yourself that you're anything else"

Knock on effect

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"It's hard, isn't it? Sort of a spin off from another thread. Being treated differently because of your size can do your head in. Media bombardment etc. The fickle waves of Fab attention.

You, yes you, are enough as you are. Here's to the vast, colourful variety of humanity. "

I do and don’t find it difficult..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Is accepting yourself about looks?"

For me it was about inner peace, stability in myself. Everything else, including looks, followed.

I've been a small size ten, and I was in retrospect very pretty. But I hated myself.

I found self acceptance at a 16/18, and as I change it doesn't matter. I am me, I am fine. The body changes are interesting but don't change my worth.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Love you Swing!

We will look even better once we are out the hairdressers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is accepting yourself about looks?

For me it was about inner peace, stability in myself. Everything else, including looks, followed.

I've been a small size ten, and I was in retrospect very pretty. But I hated myself.

I found self acceptance at a 16/18, and as I change it doesn't matter. I am me, I am fine. The body changes are interesting but don't change my worth. "

Oh yes 100% this is what I always try to say! I had shredded abs and very toned and “gym fit” body. Because of the people I was around I believed I was fat. To this day I’m shocked at pictures and find it hard to believe I used to tell myself I was overweight.

5 stones heavier, with a good tyre on the waist and two perky man boobs I am more confident than I was before

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find it hard to accept myself as I am, especially when having the people closest to me telling me to loose weight, or not dress a certain way, etc. So can't blame it all on the media

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

Well, the 19 year old me is so much different from the man I am now. Then, I had no confidence, no experience, and little belief in myself. But when I look back now at the very handsome, well educated, bright, articulate guy, with a great career that I actually was .. With hindsight.. I wish I'd had more belief in myself. Now, I've settled into my skin, but it took many years. I've lived in lots of different cultures, in Africa they try to whiten their skin, in Asia they try to "round" their eyes, in China I was told I was so ugly I'd never find a gf(blue eyes, big nose). In Arab countries I was a unbelieving descendant of the crusaders, so beneath contempt. Media and marketing rely on persuading us that we need something else to make us happy, so.. Buy this and you will look like him or her from Vogue, OK magazine or Movies. The problem is, along the way, we all fall for it.. Until the years teach us that we're actually fine as we are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

As someone else has also said accepting yourself has a lot to do with how you feel mentally...In my younger days I suffered with a eating disorder then when I overcame that I went the opposite way and found comfort in food...Finally after turning 40 and loosing 11stone I’ve learnt to accept and love myself flaws and all ...It’s been a long hard road but I’ve got there in the end ..xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I do dip and disconnect from myself, especially at the moment as my body is changing and I stress about the comments. But mostly I do accept myself as I am and know that resisting it can be quite harmful to me. I think if you can accept yourself, then there is no need to seek approval from others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's hard, isn't it? Sort of a spin off from another thread. Being treated differently because of your size can do your head in. Media bombardment etc. The fickle waves of Fab attention.

You, yes you, are enough as you are. Here's to the vast, colourful variety of humanity. "

Well said

F x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is more insidious that it appears.

Even the people we look up as perfect have the same reasoning about themselves.

The key thing is to fuck anuses without thinking about the day after tomorrow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I acpect myself as I am yes I’m a big woman but u no what I’m happy with it, would I like to lose heck yes but I’m bbw and proud

Mrscxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Is accepting yourself about looks?

Not for me.

I've been many shapes and sizes, I've found the issues lie elsewhere. When I've been unhappy with how I look it's normally when I'm unhappy about something else in my life.

If I was to look at someone else with my face and body I'd think "wow, she looks great"

Yet if I'm feeling off kilter inside I can look at myself and think "you're gross, why are you trying to kid yourself that you're anything else"

Knock on effect

I understand

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Is accepting yourself about looks?

For me it was about inner peace, stability in myself. Everything else, including looks, followed.

I've been a small size ten, and I was in retrospect very pretty. But I hated myself.

I found self acceptance at a 16/18, and as I change it doesn't matter. I am me, I am fine. The body changes are interesting but don't change my worth. "

Exactly!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think not comparing yourself or your life to your friends or the happy stories you see on social media is quite important. It's easy to see and want what you dont have, best to be thankful for what you do have

Comparison is the thief of joy- I’m sure there’s a misquoted quote there.

It’s important to not compare and to remember everyone’s profile/media/etc is what they choose to show, they’re hiding the bits they don’t like as well to present a glossy image.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

It's not always about how you look. For me, how I feel inside has a huge impact on my confidence - whether at my lightest or heaviest.

I set very high standards for myself, and beat myself up when I don't reach them. Always have done. Now in some ways, striving to be the best me is a positive trait - but when it spirals into negative self-talk then the opposite is true.

I've worked very hard to convince myself that "I am enough". Sometimes it's harder than other times to believe it. But I'll keep trying.

Mrs TMN x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's not always about how you look. For me, how I feel inside has a huge impact on my confidence - whether at my lightest or heaviest.

I've worked very hard to convince myself that "I am enough". Sometimes it's harder than other times to believe it. But I'll keep trying.

Mrs TMN x"

I hear you. I am or have been the same.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confirmed im as amazing as i thought

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I go through phases because my weight fluctuates. Sometimes I feel that I'm not that bad and other days I just see flaws. Acceptance is a long, hard road x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yes it can be tough. I grew up with a very particular whitewashed beauty ideal constantly being touted - in the media, at school, by my dear mother etc. Add in the already tricky navigation of multi heritage and not feeling like I quite belong (atypical joys) and I was a bit meh.

I've never really had fickle waves of attention - even when I was at my biggest which was a size 28 (that delightful photo you've seen OP!) I've always had a steady stream of interest. So that didn't really impact my self love.

I guess I'm starting to accept myself now and I really like who I am. I'm tired of beating myself up for not having the "right" skin tone, my hair not being that European glossy ideal, being fat. I'm actually really cute. I like my freckles. My arse is great, my boobs even better. The more I like myself the better I feel within, the better I look, the more easily I lose weight and the greater my libido. It's a win win.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" The key thing is to fuck anuses without thinking about the day after tomorrow "

I try to do that. But it's a good film.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" The key thing is to fuck anuses without thinking about the day after tomorrow

I try to do that. But it's a good film."

Haha

No it’s a crap film

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"It's not always about how you look. For me, how I feel inside has a huge impact on my confidence - whether at my lightest or heaviest.

I've worked very hard to convince myself that "I am enough". Sometimes it's harder than other times to believe it. But I'll keep trying.

Mrs TMN x

I hear you. I am or have been the same. "

It can be exhausting! But at other times, exhilarating. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" The key thing is to fuck anuses without thinking about the day after tomorrow

I try to do that. But it's a good film.

Haha

No it’s a crap film "

Like uncleaned anuses

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am what I am, and I'm happy with that. If others aren't happy with the way I am that's their problem, not mine."

Damned right dude.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to hate how I looked and my physique, in main down to my father's constant criticism and school bullies, these days I'm pretty settled with both. I'm not bad looking but I accept that I'm more likely to meet someone who fancies me a lot rather than a lot of people that fancy me. I look considerably younger than my years and work hard to be in better shape than many of my peers. I like liking at my reflection and thinking I look good, it's a pretty recent experience.

So physically I'm quite good at accepting me, but mentally, well that's a different story!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Coming to terms with myself thanks to fab and the lovely, wonderful people who inhabit fabland

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I seem to be unusual and fortunate, to have always been happy being me.

Never felt the need to change, or to follow the crowd.

I'm not the svelte youngster that I used to be but I still have great legs and boobs

Us women should do more to support, and compliment each other. There's too much bitchiness and nastiness about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Us women should do more to support, and compliment each other. There's too much bitchiness and nastiness about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Us women should do more to support, and compliment each other. There's too much bitchiness and nastiness about.

"
yip they sure is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, accept yourself as you are but please don't think that because someone looks a certain way that automatically makes their life easier or better.

No. It's not a competition and comparison doesn't help. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems that most people have been on that journey to self acceptance. Most are still on it. Some have arrived.

The interesting thing is that ladies that look stunning are often still on the journey of self acceptance.

Another thread earlier in the day had ladies afraid to message a guy that looked hot and toned because they felt they wouldnt be good enough for him, when they actually looked stunning to most of us. They were judging themselves rather than giving him the opportunity. A fear of rejection that most of us have.

Sadly our own _iews of whether we look good enough for somebody are actually completely different from the other persons _iews.

I find personality is a much better and honest form of beauty and attraction than skin deep appearance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a bloke from the wrong demographic for fab, who also struggles with a negative body image, I can only comment on my experience.

In real life, I'm a popular enough guy, get on great with work colleagues and am mildly flirty with ladies in my place of work.

However the one thing I crave is raw sexual attraction. 90% of the ladies I chat with see me as a friend (which is great) and only a few see me as someone they want to rip clothes off and get all carnal.

The % of women I chat with is a small part of fab, the remainder just don't seem interested.

When I compare myself to the males on fab, I realise I'm never going to match up.

The bearded muscular tatted guys in the media who have women falling at their feet is something I can't live up to.

I take solace that, unlike women on here, I don't get idle flattery from people who cut and paste messages just for a fuck. I can only imagine how shit fab can be for women at times.

I accept I am who I am, but doesn't make me happy about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I like the way I look now... Three years ago my answer would be different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took me years for me to accept myself as I am. All those wasted years of worry....but I’m so glad now to be me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"Us women should do more to support, and compliment each other. There's too much bitchiness and nastiness about.

I think you look beautiful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Whatever I do, I do for me. I'm always trying to be that bit fitter than I was the year before because I'm growing old disgraceful

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

The will always be self vs. others/world you can’t accept yourself without setting a parameter, goal, having a vision. Being authentic about self-reflection, on your journey which is where you find acceptance of whatever that is you seek. What have you learned, adjusting or changing, where are you going? Just blindly accepting yourself is questionable just like a relationship with others it is going to be hard work. self-acceptance comes from achieving a goal does not have to be a huge goal, in turn, helps with other little milestones and focus your energy towards that direction. Just acceptance without trying lead to depression. First, you have to destroy who you really are to re-build and self-love begins to grow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite me taking the piss out of myself, I’m very comfortable in my own skin. I have learned over many years and with considerable personal development work to like myself, accept myself as I am, change things I can at a leisurely pace, balance many different aspects of my life and I know I’m liked and loved by a significant number of people in the various parts of my world.

There are a couple of things in my life I would like to change but haven’t succeeded yet, but I’ll keep on perservering, trying different ways to do it, but actually that’s nothing more than something I haven’t learned yet. I’m happy that not having succeeded yet no longer leaves me feeling disheartened and I can smile about it. I’ve just learned another way not to do it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

"Whatever I do, I do for me. I'm always trying to be that bit fitter than I was the year before because I'm growing old disgraceful

....and what a wonderful disgracefulness it is....

haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread