FabSwingers.com forum: Punching above your weight

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Nooe, if they're interested and I'm interested then it's game on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a serious note, Ash told me that he very nearly didn't message me because he thought I wouldn't be interested. I'm so glad he did, we have now been together 9 months and going on our first holiday together tomorrow. We are very happy and planning our future together. So if you assume "you are not in their league" you really could be missing out big time.

I have copied this from another thread similar to this one. I have posted it again here as I think it applies in this case too.

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By *b_LIVI_ousWoman
over a year ago

Wigan

I very nearly bottled it with someone who I thought was WAY out of my league. So glad I didn’t. So VERY glad I didn’t. One of the most wonderful experiences to date. Just do it !

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I very nearly bottled it with someone who I thought was WAY out of my league. So glad I didn’t. So VERY glad I didn’t. One of the most wonderful experiences to date. Just do it !"

Ditto.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time

Story of my life - I miss out on a lot.

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By *otrockWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Yes I do the same.... I always reply with a no thanks as I think they are definitely out my league but deep down I would love too.. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You all need to believe in your self as you are a lot been looking than you think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely if they message you .... they are interested ?

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By *art123Man
over a year ago

Stoke

I don’t even try with some women for this reason

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Surely if they message you .... they are interested ?"

Oh the mind has ways to get around that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nooe, if they're interested and I'm interested then it's game on

Definitely this!!

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I often contact people I think won't spare me a second glance. Sometimes i'm pleasantly surprised

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

"Nooe, if they're interested and I'm interested then it's game on

Definitely this!!

I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep,I actually said to one bloke have you read and seen my pictures,then I sent him a face pic and thought I was fit.I said are you taking piss lol.I checked his veries out and one women looked like the perfect porn star

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I always have in the back of my mind, what if my pictures are flattering and the experience in person is humiliating. It's never happened to date. It probably never will. But the fear is real.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely if they message you .... they are interested ?

Oh the mind has ways to get around that. "

oh yes it does but many people see different traits sexy not just looks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. There are many on here lacking self confidence and self esteem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel the fear too

Always think my pics are more flattering than the reality!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Surely if they message you .... they are interested ?

Oh the mind has ways to get around that.

oh yes it does but many people see different traits sexy not just looks"

But that's not the way self doubt works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one ever knows a person's "type" I don't have a type but I have to say if I'm attracted by a person's face,peoples skills and craic = horned up. One thing about people interested in this kinda craic is we are open minded or should be enough to try stuff outside of our comfort zones or am I wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely if they message you .... they are interested ?

Oh the mind has ways to get around that.

oh yes it does but many people see different traits sexy not just looks

But that's not the way self doubt works. "

again I agree .... to be fair it's rare I message first ! i guess we all have that self doubt

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By *il FiskMan
over a year ago

sefton

Life's too short, take a chance. What's the worse can happen? No reply or a no...

Just go for it I say

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No its very common. I personally don't understand it and find it a bit insulting to the people you consider to be in your league.

I think we all have self doubt to an extent but don't always express it by placing other people in leagues of attractiveness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"

I did at the very beginning when I first joined, but I’ve learnt to kind of let go of the whole ‘leagues’ thing and just go with it. Had a lot of fun as result x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No its very common. I personally don't understand it and find it a bit insulting to the people you consider to be in your league.

I think we all have self doubt to an extent but don't always express it by placing other people in leagues of attractiveness "

Yeah it amuses me that they don't see it that way but I'd be highly offended if I guy I met saw people in leagues and wouldn't communicate with those outside his league. Thanks a bunch pal. Fuck off!!!

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By *r Normally KinkyMan
over a year ago

Somerset

i just go for it if someone has caught my interest. but tbh there are a lot of rude members on here

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"On a serious note, Ash told me that he very nearly didn't message me because he thought I wouldn't be interested. I'm so glad he did, we have now been together 9 months and going on our first holiday together tomorrow. We are very happy and planning our future together. So if you assume "you are not in their league" you really could be missing out big time.

I have copied this from another thread similar to this one. I have posted it again here as I think it applies in this case too.

I've said this on another thread to but I love a happy ending x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope absolutely not. I would say technically the guy I spent last night with is out of my league but seeing the desire in his eyes I knew to him I was exactly what he wanted

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I didn't use the phrase 'out of my league' and certainly wasn't judging anyone but myself but thanks for turning a thread about confidence into something nasty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's natural to scale yourself and others on attractiveness, but its subjective, so luckily I have pulled a load of "hotties"!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be like that but now I don't worry about it, if they have messaged me then they must be interested or they wouldn't have took the time to do it.

I'm a cheeky cow too and I message guys who at one time I would have thought were punching above my weight and I have been very pleasantly surprised by the response

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Life's too short, take a chance. What's the worse can happen? No reply or a no...

Just go for it I say

this for me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I didn't use the phrase 'out of my league' and certainly wasn't judging anyone but myself but thanks for turning a thread about confidence into something nasty"

no you didn't I stand corrected but the sentiment is the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didn't use the phrase 'out of my league' and certainly wasn't judging anyone but myself but thanks for turning a thread about confidence into something nasty"

Judging someone as out of your league is the same thing as punching above your weight.

Yes it's completely a confidence thing.

Nothing nasty. Just how it is.

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

I would wonder why they were messaging little old me, but I'd go with the flow and see what happens

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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

When I first signed up, I felt quite intimidated by what I considered, top shelf eye candy, and turned them all down flat (and certainly one I wish I could recall).

I'm now more relaxed and confident about chatting to and meeting guys I feel an infinity with.

Just go for it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with lots of you. If they sent a message, it show interest and the most that can happen is no reply. Which I know a lot about ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If someone's profile doesn't say what type of person they find attractive then you judge from their verifications. If it's totally different to yourself then you wonder if they've not read yours thinking you're something you're not. Glad to see a couple of guys understand this too not just us women

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I very rarely respond to messages received because I prefer to initiate contact with people that I like the look of.

That said, I will reply to the odd ones that do catch my eye - they must have seen something they like to message me in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"

im guilty of this too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yea I send a photo then they bottle it, I dont look my age, it's the same for both sexes I think, they say i am not their type and block me yet i can go out the weekend and get girls 10 yes younger asking me on dates so i know i am not ugly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah haha but one time I had to give in the guy was just too good to turn down like the hottest guy I’d ever seen. Had sex and never heard a squeak out of him since which I totally expected because he was a friggin god but I really didn’t care because I’d had my few hours with him and my god were they good haha!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly that’s what I do, I don’t even bother to email some lovely ladies 1 because they will be swamped with messages from well hung men and 2 way out of my league

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sadly that’s what I do, I don’t even bother to email some lovely ladies 1 because they will be swamped with messages from well hung men and 2 way out of my league

right this is in no way meant aggressively but how do you know you're out of these women's league? Do they say on their profile that they only want well hung men?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Nothing ventured, nothing gained ....

Always try! No thank you is the worst that can happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the time

Story of my life - I miss out on a lot."

So do i. On you for a start. He he

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Sadly that’s what I do, I don’t even bother to email some lovely ladies 1 because they will be swamped with messages from well hung men and 2 way out of my league

So does that mean the ones you do message aren't that lovely? This is what I don't get, are you messaging people you find a bit less attractive? You're doing yourself and them a disservice if that's the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think clubs can be like this too, I've had ladies asking their other half of I can join them and the guy saying no, so is this they feeling inadequate because I am clearly a sex god lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sadly that’s what I do, I don’t even bother to email some lovely ladies 1 because they will be swamped with messages from well hung men and 2 way out of my league

Yep exactly this. Why I avoid anyone who thinks in terms of leagues or compares themselves.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I have thought many a time, seriously why me, but if they’ve messaged me then there must be something, right !

You’ve got nothing to lose by saying yes, be bold and do it

Someone further up said something about my pics are flattering but in person I might not be.... the camera doesn’t lie and yes angles and lighting can have an effect, but it’s still you in those photos. I have squidginess and a baby shelf that isn’t going anywhere, it’s part of me and not once have I been made to feel uncomfortable about it

Embrace who you are, be confident in yourself and own it !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah. Don’t believe in leagues. They or you might be exactly what the other needs so why not have a go?

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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"

No because I prefer curvy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"

I do this too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually yes, but that's because of how i see myself. This time nope, I've caught his eye for a reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are people don't matter how pretty they are. The majority of people are above me when it comes to looks in my personal opinion but they seem to like me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... Think it all comes down to self confidence

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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

"I have thought many a time, seriously why me, but if they’ve messaged me then there must be something, right !

You’ve got nothing to lose by saying yes, be bold and do it

Embrace who you are, be confident in yourself and own it ! "

I agree, doesn’t really matter how you look in fairness. If you bore me you bore me, if you captivate me you captivate me and that’s where the attraction begins (in my mind at least) just wing it

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Not at all. Life is too short to pass good things by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv learned from being on here not to be scared to message anyone as iv had the pleasure of being able to spend time and play with some stunning women that a guy of my looks and figure should have no right to be playing with lol, so in my opinion most of the time im punching above my weight but so be it there is obviously something i do or say that sparks an interest, so just go for it

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We are their dream, so it's almost cruel to deny them our involvement. Whatever the inner whispers may try to say, it's another step closer to world peace and harmony

I was once on a Greek island, early evening, outside a bar in the throngs of attractive party goers. A gorgeous man came up to me and said he needed to tell me that I was the most beautiful person there. He was full-on model grade handsome that would turn heads anywhere. For a split second I was stunned and overwhelmed by his comment. I realised that he meant it. Never assume that you are not beautiful or perfect for others. He was equally highly attractive on the inside, which I know you lot are too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"

Every day!! Massive block to me meeting on here

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By *ewcouple1234321Couple
over a year ago

Paisley / Bathgate

Not at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a phrase we use a hell of a lot. We are both by our own admission middle aged and not as fit as we used to be. We have turned down quite a few meets as we think “look at them! Why the hell would they want to meet us ??!”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As i said originally but will spell out again. This is not a dis to anyone of spoken to or met since they have taken the time in their msg to say something personal or on their profile that's relevant to me or shown by their veri displayed that they like all sorts of ages and body types. I'm happy with would i am thanks and don't belittle anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very often say no to people who i know have met some stunners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to self doubt myself a lot. My OH is gym fit and he's on fab as well, everytime I saw photos he fabbed I felt like he surely can't like my body. Now we've been together for almost 2 years and he still worships my ass so I let go of fear of losing him cause I'm fat.

I still have this problem whenever fit women message me though

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

No I dont as I dont believe anyone is better than anyone else we all have something different and why would they message u if they wasnt interested you just have to believe in yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is one local lady that I would love to start a conversation with and see if it goes anywhere. She is super hot though and the fact that in general I'm lucky to get a reply from any local, I cant see me ever sending that first message as I dont feel I have a shot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hotlist is full of people too hot for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never punch what i lack is more than made up for with other things i bring to the table

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Natural beauty in my book beats porn star looks everytime, everyone likes different types

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By *hy_bangor_bi-girlWoman
over a year ago

Bangor

[Removed by poster at 02/09/19 06:54:36]

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By *hy_bangor_bi-girlWoman
over a year ago

Bangor

I used to turn down dates because i didnt think they were genuinely interested in chubby me. But I bit the bullet once and now never been happier!.. Just do it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do this too

would generally never send a first message because of it

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep... err going to need some help over here please!

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"

Hmmm annoyingly, one of the first lines on the messages I receive , often beginning, hi , I'm sure I'm not your type....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nooe, if they're interested and I'm interested then it's game on

Agree with this

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"Nooe, if they're interested and I'm interested then it's game on

As it should be really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If only I was in s position to punch

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"Natural beauty in my book beats porn star looks everytime, everyone likes different types"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don’t understand the concept of people batting outside their league, personally I believe we are all equal just come in different shapes, sizes and don’t forget personalities! The issue with Fab and I suppose many sites is people just look at photos and assume the personality is as attractive as the picture which may often not be the case.

I once dated a lady who was a model and featured in some newspaper supplements, her figure was stunning, her personality much less so.

It’s a big world, explore, have fun, don’t judge and treat others as you wish to be treated yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m like this (female)

Even though I am fairly confident about my body I still get this fear that when we arrive and get nakey, they won’t be attracted to us anymore!

Such a stupid fear I know. The main reason we haven’t met many people. Damn confident issues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m like this (female)

Even though I am fairly confident about my body I still get this fear that when we arrive and get nakey, they won’t be attracted to us anymore!

Such a stupid fear I know. The main reason we haven’t met many people. Damn confident issues

Confidence *

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

"I’m like this (female)

Even though I am fairly confident about my body I still get this fear that when we arrive and get nakey, they won’t be attracted to us anymore!

Such a stupid fear I know. The main reason we haven’t met many people. Damn confident issues

It takes a while for everyone

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I'm attracted to confident/dominant men so I dont think they would have this problem most of the time. If I really liked the look of someone then yes I'd message them but that doesn't happen very often. What's the worse that can happen they say no thanks. I don't take much on here that seriously or to heart. I'm ok in my own skin with or without clothes. Amen x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think about things like thst .

If we get on , chat and click then perfect

I'm confident in who I am

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By *oney to the beeWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I don't see the issue tba. You are interested or you are not, they are interested or they are not if you are both interested yo go to stage 2 if not you don't its not a big issue people get rejected all the time here so learn to live with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not at all ,I guess that I'm just happy being me,saying that I very rarely send a first message that's just not me and has nothing to do with rejection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is one local lady that I would love to start a conversation with and see if it goes anywhere. She is super hot though and the fact that in general I'm lucky to get a reply from any local, I cant see me ever sending that first message as I dont feel I have a shot. "

You do realise that this is incredibly silly of you? Too many ‘What ifs’ me thinks. Write to her man. Sit down and write!

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By *ichieblackMan
over a year ago

London

What do you sexy lady prefer cut or uncut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always have in the back of my mind, what if my pictures are flattering and the experience in person is humiliating. It's never happened to date. It probably never will. But the fear is real. "

This is my fear that I’m full of trickery! - Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nooe, if they're interested and I'm interested then it's game on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't think B would look three times at me, I was confident enough for twice tho I can't lie

But yeah, the way he came across on the forums, how self assured he is, his looks and height... I thought I may be good enough for a bit of a flirt at best.

We've been together as a couple almost a year now.

I still do have wobbles though and wonder what on earth apart from a giggle I have to offer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think we all have a standard we should abide by as to whom we share anything with... Don't lower your standards to appease someone else

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"

Only felt like saying no once and that was meeting Ben...first time I was nervous. Ben looks like a cross between Bruce Willis and Jason Statham. I'm more Monique than Halle Berry.

We do make an odd couple, but November will be six years since we met and we've lived together for five.

We are our own worse enemies.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"

Yep!

I always read a person's veris & what they've left in return.

Had a few occasions where, I'm left thinking 'I can't match up to that'

Albeit 1, I've never replied or I've polity been dismissive.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me

No because I prefer curvy

Lucky for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one could be too hot for you. I wouldnt mail you because you're to hot for me.

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