FabSwingers.com forum: Follow up messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

You mean if they haven’t replied to the first one?

If so what’s the point?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying.."
what did you say in first message?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..what did you say in first message?

A polite introduction message which is deemed unworthy of a response

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..what did you say in first message?

A polite introduction message which is deemed unworthy of a response"

So many reasons for no response Mr OP, don't sweat it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Generally yes. If they haven't replied there's a reason.

I don't mind if they change tack and try something new, although the odds aren't in their favour.

In the majority of cases you should take the lack of response as a no, accept that they mean it, and leave them alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if the first message doesn’t get a response, what are you hoping to achieve by sending another?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying.."

I have missed an initial message, had a follow up and got chatting to some nice guys.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying.."

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place? "

On paper yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place? "

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

You are not entitled to anyone's time. Site faqs state no reply means no thankyou.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely send a first message never mind a follow up lol. But I would agree that if you've had no response from a first message, then accept that the recipient isn't interested

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it. "

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond"

That's not the way it works around here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond"

It's polite to accept that no one has to feel obliged to respond to an unsolicited message.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The longer answer is, as a woman, you learn quickly that responding to reject is a thankless, often painful task. Even when the initial messages seem lovely.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

beige

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond"

So what you're trying to say is that they ignored what I'm saying but I should ignore them cause that's not polite?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The longer answer is, as a woman, you learn quickly that responding to reject is a thankless, often painful task. Even when the initial messages seem lovely."

Yep the "why not" or "I will give you the sex of your life".

Then there is the "your fat and ugly anyway".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond

It's polite to accept that no one has to feel obliged to respond to an unsolicited message. "

If your on fab looking to meet guys then how is it unsolicited...or is it simply it's unsolicited if you find them unattractive

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond

It's polite to accept that no one has to feel obliged to respond to an unsolicited message.

If your on fab looking to meet guys then how is it unsolicited...or is it simply it's unsolicited if you find them unattractive"

It's unsolicited because I didn't ask for it. Even if I'm looking for men, I ask for none of the messages I get.

Are some of them useful? Yes. Still unsolicited.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond

It's polite to accept that no one has to feel obliged to respond to an unsolicited message.

If your on fab looking to meet guys then how is it unsolicited...or is it simply it's unsolicited if you find them unattractive"

Firstly I'm not and secondly just because I'm on Fab does not mean I'm going to shag you because you sent me a nice message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..what did you say in first message?

A polite introduction message which is deemed unworthy of a response"
some women get too many messages to reply to, polite or not but obviously some messages get missed just because of volume especially if they've just put a pic up which draws a lot of attention at that moment,so sending another message may work but you need to stand out, read the target profile and put some personality into your message oh and a face pic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond

It's polite to accept that no one has to feel obliged to respond to an unsolicited message.

If your on fab looking to meet guys then how is it unsolicited...or is it simply it's unsolicited if you find them unattractive

Firstly I'm not and secondly just because I'm on Fab does not mean I'm going to shag you because you sent me a nice message.

Didn't say you had to but what makes a message unsolicited if you're looking to meet guys..All hypothetical I'm not talking about you in particular

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond

It's polite to accept that no one has to feel obliged to respond to an unsolicited message.

If your on fab looking to meet guys then how is it unsolicited...or is it simply it's unsolicited if you find them unattractive

Firstly I'm not and secondly just because I'm on Fab does not mean I'm going to shag you because you sent me a nice message.

Didn't say you had to but what makes a message unsolicited if you're looking to meet guys..All hypothetical I'm not talking about you in particular"

Because I did not ask for anyone to message me! If you have not specifically asked for a person to message you it is unsolicited!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it wrong to send a follow up message..

Seems like you get portrayed as a bad guy for trying..

Did you meet what they were looking for in the first place?

This. I get so many messages from guys who just don't read my profile or even worse read it and decide to ignore everything I said in it.

If they have ignored your profile then fine but if they have and it's a decent message then surely it's polite to at least respond

It's polite to accept that no one has to feel obliged to respond to an unsolicited message.

If your on fab looking to meet guys then how is it unsolicited...or is it simply it's unsolicited if you find them unattractive

Firstly I'm not and secondly just because I'm on Fab does not mean I'm going to shag you because you sent me a nice message.

Didn't say you had to but what makes a message unsolicited if you're looking to meet guys..All hypothetical I'm not talking about you in particular

Because I did not ask for anyone to message me! If you have not specifically asked for a person to message you it is unsolicited! "

But you have stated you are looking for men..and if you like that person suddenly that unsolicited message becomes fine ???

Clear double standard based on appearance

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Unsolicited doesn't necessarily mean unwelcome. It means unasked for.