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"would love to have a dom woman take control of me " Whilst some ppl do cyber, and i object to the use of the term slave as insulting to those abused all over the world...you will probably find more success on a fet site...although there they are likely to tell u cyber subs are not "real" subs... The real question is why u think the progression should be from cyber to real life. A good Dom/me will go at your speed...not theirs. | |||
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"Would love to have an online mistress to serve and progress on to the real thing!! Im a good looking 22 year old guy any takers?? x " Not that I'm an expert in online slavery, (and like Jem I think it demeaning to people who are genuinely slaves to compare your having a wank while someone talks dirty to you to their conditions) but I think this sentence from your profile might put people off; "I enjoy being in control in the bedroom but can also be submissive if needs be..." That just screams 'confused and desperate' to me, and given that there are plenty of sub men bidding for the attention of dommes out there you might not be making the best case for them to choose you. | |||
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"Would love to have an online mistress to serve and progress on to the real thing!! Im a good looking 22 year old guy any takers?? x Not that I'm an expert in online slavery, (and like Jem I think it demeaning to people who are genuinely slaves to compare your having a wank while someone talks dirty to you to their conditions) but I think this sentence from your profile might put people off; "I enjoy being in control in the bedroom but can also be submissive if needs be..." That just screams 'confused and desperate' to me, and given that there are plenty of sub men bidding for the attention of dommes out there you might not be making the best case for them to choose you." There's such a thing as being a Switch you know. He could be both dom and sub. | |||
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"Would love to have an online mistress to serve and progress on to the real thing!! Im a good looking 22 year old guy any takers?? x " I am not sure you will find what your looking for here... May I first suggest you go and do some reading as slave and sub can be one in the same or totally different. As a very proud slave and one that can not see how the term is demeaning... I do however get a little put out when someone uses it and actually means sub. It is possible to be controlled via online but takes a lot on both sides.. but you have to decide what it is your looking for. I to like to be in control... But for one person I relinquish that control and it is a truly amazing feeling... One that makes me feel so free. Try the fetish sites though as much more geared towards that.. there was a site that was really geared for it but I can't remember the site name of the top of my head. Get dare Or something but many online subs on there... You really need to do your homework though as how can a domme know what you want if you don't... Whatever you do, just be honest about what your looking for. Cali | |||
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"Would love to have an online mistress to serve and progress on to the real thing!! Im a good looking 22 year old guy any takers?? x Not that I'm an expert in online slavery, (and like Jem I think it demeaning to people who are genuinely slaves to compare your having a wank while someone talks dirty to you to their conditions) but I think this sentence from your profile might put people off; "I enjoy being in control in the bedroom but can also be submissive if needs be..." That just screams 'confused and desperate' to me, and given that there are plenty of sub men bidding for the attention of dommes out there you might not be making the best case for them to choose you. There's such a thing as being a Switch you know. He could be both dom and sub." He could. I'm not persuaded though, and not just because I've had some unhappy experiences with people who say they're switches when they mean they'll put up with anything for a shag. If the OP change shis profile to explain he is a switch, and what that means, it'll improve his chances though, and that was the point I was making. In response to Cali's point about my view that calling yourself a slave is demeaning while real slavery exists in the world, it's important to keep it in context. I'm not calling for people to be excommunicated, or stoned, or banned from the site - I'm just expressing an opinion that using the word in a variant meaning risks diminishing the impact of its primary meaning. I know that sounds obscure so let's try and unpick it - my brain's a bit banjaxed this a.m... The primary meaning of slave describes someone who is owned by another and has less or no political, economic and human rights as a result. People in the Shan or Karen regions of Myanmar are enslaved, for instance, and risk death if they object or protest. The variant meaning of slave describes someone who derives sexual pleasure or psychological fulfilment from their relationship with another to whom they transfer, in a negotiated and ocntrolled way, some element of decision making over their life. Their political, economic and human rights are not affected, and they can end the relationship at any time of their choice and seek the protection of the law if required. Now, I know that grown ups are probably able to figure out when someone uses the variant meaning rather than the primary meaning, but it's unnecesary - there are plenty of other words that could be used to describe the relationship between two human beings who choose to conduct themselves in a particular way. If the real life issues of twenty first century slavery were better publicized I suspect I wouldn't get as grumpy about people using the variant meaning, but they aren't. | |||
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"Would love to have an online mistress to serve and progress on to the real thing!! Im a good looking 22 year old guy any takers?? x I am not sure you will find what your looking for here... May I first suggest you go and do some reading as slave and sub can be one in the same or totally different. As a very proud slave and one that can not see how the term is demeaning... I do however get a little put out when someone uses it and actually means sub. " take your blinkers off. Look around the world. I am sure you can get to grips with why it might be seen as demeaning. Remember you are not a "slave", as such, as you do nothing against your will nor were you neither bought or sold. Or do you/were you? | |||
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"Are we now going to criticise those who like a gang bang or multiple partners, doctor and patients, master and servant, dom and sub etc etc Since there are real people in the world who also suffer from those acts.... Did I notice that this was an adult site for adult activities or .... Love to all "No there are not..people who suffer from those acts...there are people who choose as adults to participate in those act. The point _wayman was making is that out of respect for those who are enslaved ,in this country as well as all over the world it would be better if D/s chose another word. Recently there was a case of a desf mute woman, brought to this country at 11, beaten,stareved, sexually abused, forced to work and kept in aa cellar when not working. She was a slave...compassion for her and the 23 million around the world(according to anti slavery international) says to me that D/s needs to think about what matters...its kink or the plight of men women and children out there. | |||
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"Would love to have an online mistress to serve and progress on to the real thing!! Im a good looking 22 year old guy any takers?? x " Cut the cyber bit out and just get married   | |||
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"Would love to have an online mistress to serve and progress on to the real thing!! Im a good looking 22 year old guy any takers?? x I am not sure you will find what your looking for here... May I first suggest you go and do some reading as slave and sub can be one in the same or totally different. As a very proud slave and one that can not see how the term is demeaning... I do however get a little put out when someone uses it and actually means sub. Cali" i think you are missing our point cali, of course a word you choose to self describe at is not demeaning to you...i love it when Sir calls me a slut, others would find that demeaning. It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. | |||
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"Would love to have an online mistress to serve and progress on to the real thing!! Im a good looking 22 year old guy any takers?? x Cut the cyber bit out and just get married " | |||
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"But if that is the roleplay or indeed a lifestyle for some, why can't you use the word slave? It has different connotations when used in a dom / slave sense than it does when selling a person for slavery." oh agreed, i think its just a matter of saying, i know this bad thing goes on and out of respect for the people it happens to i choose not to use a word that is associated with abuse... Not going to change the world i know and i have changed my mind on this from wanting to be a slave...but its a little way i can say slavery should be wiped off the face of the earth. | |||
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"It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. " In YOUR opinion. Others find calling a Dom 'Master' demeaning and would prefer 'Sir'. Horses for courses, and if the OP wants to be a 'slave' it's his particular kink and good luck to him. | |||
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"It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. In YOUR opinion. Others find calling a Dom 'Master' demeaning and would prefer 'Sir'. Horses for courses, and if the OP wants to be a 'slave' it's his particular kink and good luck to him." I thought the titles were husband and wife | |||
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"It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. In YOUR opinion. Others find calling a Dom 'Master' demeaning and would prefer 'Sir'. Horses for courses, and if the OP wants to be a 'slave' it's his particular kink and good luck to him. I thought the titles were husband and wife "No, you're getting that confused with 'wife' and 'fucking mind reader'. | |||
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"It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. In YOUR opinion. Others find calling a Dom 'Master' demeaning and would prefer 'Sir'. Horses for courses, and if the OP wants to be a 'slave' it's his particular kink and good luck to him. I thought the titles were husband and wife
No, you're getting that confused with 'wife' and 'fucking mind reader'. "Ah yes! Thank you for the correction 
Just goes to show that Paul McKenna's full of shit, mind reader my arse!  | |||
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"It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. In YOUR opinion. Others find calling a Dom 'Master' demeaning and would prefer 'Sir'. Horses for courses, and if the OP wants to be a 'slave' it's his particular kink and good luck to him." no ,i think its not a matter of opinion that calling yourself by a word used to describe ppl tortured,sexually abused and forced to work, shows a lack of respect for their experience and trivializes it. My opinion is that it shouldnt be done...that is something that ppl are free to disagree with...it doesnt change the reality . | |||
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"But if that is the roleplay or indeed a lifestyle for some, why can't you use the word slave? It has different connotations when used in a dom / slave sense than it does when selling a person for slavery. oh agreed, i think its just a matter of saying, i know this bad thing goes on and out of respect for the people it happens to i choose not to use a word that is associated with abuse... Not going to change the world i know and i have changed my mind on this from wanting to be a slave...but its a little way i can say slavery should be wiped off the face of the earth."  | |||
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"It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. In YOUR opinion. Others find calling a Dom 'Master' demeaning and would prefer 'Sir'. Horses for courses, and if the OP wants to be a 'slave' it's his particular kink and good luck to him. no ,i think its not a matter of opinion that calling yourself by a word used to describe ppl tortured,sexually abused and forced to work, shows a lack of respect for their experience and trivializes it. My opinion is that it shouldnt be done...that is something that ppl are free to disagree with...it doesnt change the reality ." Can I just refer you to the BDSM bit on your profile. Does that bit not support the OP (Just a hobby) or are you applying double standards? Hope the OP finds the fun he is looking for. I'm pretty sure he knows the difference between playing and reality. | |||
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"no ,i think its not a matter of opinion that calling yourself by a word used to describe ppl tortured,sexually abused and forced to work, shows a lack of respect for their experience and trivializes it. My opinion is that it shouldnt be done...that is something that ppl are free to disagree with...it doesnt change the reality ." If you truly felt that passionately about slavery you would never refer to yourself as being 'owned'. It most certainly does not trivialise the horror of the slave trade as many words have more than one meaning, abd slave is not synonymous with someone sold into bondage. slave: 1. (v. i.) To drudge; to toil; to labor as a slave. 2. (v. t.) To enslave. 3. (n.) A person who is held in bondage to another; one who is wholly subject to the will of another; one who is held as a chattel; one who has no freedom of action, but whose person and services are wholly under the control of another. 4. (n.) See Slav. 5. (n.) One who has lost the power of resistance; one who surrenders himself to any power whatever; as, a slave to passion, to lust, to strong drink, to ambition. 6. (n.) An abject person; a wretch. 7. (n.) A drudge; one who labors like a slave. Numbers 3 & 5 above might hold some resonance with you, yet you find the word 'slave' repulsive. You can dress it up how wish if it fits your way of life with the guy who controls you but a rose by any other name...? | |||
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"But if that is the roleplay or indeed a lifestyle for some, why can't you use the word slave? It has different connotations when used in a dom / slave sense than it does when selling a person for slavery."
See this is my understanding and the difference is always consent. I chose to become my masters slave... A slave in the other sense had no choice... Couldn't stop being at all. My relationship ends if I refuse to submit or master releases me.. both would cause me very real heartbreak and I'd be So ashamed.
Cali | |||
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"But if that is the roleplay or indeed a lifestyle for some, why can't you use the word slave? It has different connotations when used in a dom / slave sense than it does when selling a person for slavery.
See this is my understanding and the difference is always consent. I chose to become my masters slave... A slave in the other sense had no choice... Couldn't stop being at all. My relationship ends if I refuse to submit or master releases me.. both would cause me very real heartbreak and I'd be So ashamed.
Cali "Cali having been in a dom/sub relationship, and all you have said i agree with 100%....this is prob not the best site to seek this type of lifestyle, Collarme or alt would be more apt tbh, but the term slave is not ment to demean anyone other than the ppl involved in this lifestyle. I must say it was i lifestyle i have enjoyed....but that is a whole different topic | |||
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"It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. In YOUR opinion. Others find calling a Dom 'Master' demeaning and would prefer 'Sir'. Horses for courses, and if the OP wants to be a 'slave' it's his particular kink and good luck to him. no ,i think its not a matter of opinion that calling yourself by a word used to describe ppl tortured,sexually abused and forced to work, shows a lack of respect for their experience and trivializes it. My opinion is that it shouldnt be done...that is something that ppl are free to disagree with...it doesnt change the reality ." That incredibly two faced of you as you use the word "owned" on your profile an in the context you are talking the two are hand in hand. I am not keen on on either word but understand the context people use the word slave on here. I have to assume you are just trying to give out an image to people on the forums rather than having conviction in your words.  | |||
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"But if that is the roleplay or indeed a lifestyle for some, why can't you use the word slave? It has different connotations when used in a dom / slave sense than it does when selling a person for slavery.
See this is my understanding and the difference is always consent. I chose to become my masters slave... A slave in the other sense had no choice... Couldn't stop being at all. My relationship ends if I refuse to submit or master releases me.. both would cause me very real heartbreak and I'd be So ashamed.
Cali "You shouldn't have anything to be ashamed of as its the context not the word that should be the real issue. | |||
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" You shouldn't have anything to be ashamed of as its the context not the word that should be the real issue. " I meant if I did something that led me to be released.. or the relationship to end, I would be ashamed.. However, after a few messages I need to clarify... I mean the m/s relationship.. It wouldnt end the loving side.. Master would just get another slave.. ( like Jem has Kev and her Sir) And as those that know me know... While my Master "Could" make me do these things" It is rarely a case of I am made to. It is just the fact as I am sure any sub or slave will appreciate.. if we only pick and choose the stuff we want to do.. its not really a submission if you chose to do so. To the original poster.. It was get dare that I remembered there being loads of online subs/slaves on there.. doing things for dommes etc.. To jane... To be honest I pick 3 outfits, master picks which one I will wear. for meets yes I will be dressed for it but that is part of the fun for us. As to the guys I dont fancy... it may not be your cup of tea.. but if that happened ( rare as my Master likes me to get pleasure therefore if I didnt like the person I wouldnt get as much) but the thing is if I go to a cinema I rarely fancy a guy.... but the point is that he could. I think if you have no understanding of the lifestyle then its impossible to understand. but I also dont expect people to. cali | |||
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"To answer am I owned... Yes... Do I Do things that I may well not want to do.. yes... Why... Because it is what is required of me... You could argue that I could decide not to do as I'm required.. but that would end a relationship.. so as long as I wish to remain my masters property.. and yes I Do see myself as belonging to my master... Then I will do as I am told.. The thing here is trust, that it would not be abused... Yes I sometimes have doubts about my submissions... But the only choice I have is to be owned or not... I don't think the original poster meant to start a debate but I'm sure their are many other slaves out there that find it a title to be proud off. It is the real world but my clothes are picked... And if master said fuck the guy you think is gross I would do it.. wouldn't enjoy it but my pleasure would be in pleasing my master. I am just lucky in that my master mostly finds his pleasure as my pleasure... Yet some of my most rewarding moments have been doing something that I truly hated the idea of.. but nothing is done just because. Cali " Same here i am an owned submissive and love pleasing my Sir in what ever form her wants me to please him i am not refered to as slave tho i am still sub but thats personal preference with Sir | |||
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"It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. In YOUR opinion. Others find calling a Dom 'Master' demeaning and would prefer 'Sir'. Horses for courses, and if the OP wants to be a 'slave' it's his particular kink and good luck to him. no ,i think its not a matter of opinion that calling yourself by a word used to describe ppl tortured,sexually abused and forced to work, shows a lack of respect for their experience and trivializes it. My opinion is that it shouldnt be done...that is something that ppl are free to disagree with...it doesnt change the reality . That incredibly two faced of you as you use the word "owned" on your profile an in the context you are talking the two are hand in hand. I am not keen on on either word but understand the context people use the word slave on here. I have to assume you are just trying to give out an image to people on the forums rather than having conviction in your words. "i use owned to deescribe the emotional bond between Sir and i...i do not use the word slave as i feel uncomfortable with the fact there are people forced into slavery in the world. If you are able to find a better word to describe our D/s relationship i am open to suggestions. | |||
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"no ,i think its not a matter of opinion that calling yourself by a word used to describe ppl tortured,sexually abused and forced to work, shows a lack of respect for their experience and trivializes it. My opinion is that it shouldnt be done...that is something that ppl are free to disagree with...it doesnt change the reality . If you truly felt that passionately about slavery you would never refer to yourself as being 'owned'. It most certainly does not trivialise the horror of the slave trade as many words have more than one meaning, abd slave is not synonymous with someone sold into bondage. slave: 1. (v. i.) To drudge; to toil; to labor as a slave. 2. (v. t.) To enslave. 3. (n.) A person who is held in bondage to another; one who is wholly subject to the will of another; one who is held as a chattel; one who has no freedom of action, but whose person and services are wholly under the control of another. 4. (n.) See Slav. 5. (n.) One who has lost the power of resistance; one who surrenders himself to any power whatever; as, a slave to passion, to lust, to strong drink, to ambition. 6. (n.) An abject person; a wretch. 7. (n.) A drudge; one who labors like a slave. Numbers 3 & 5 above might hold some resonance with you, yet you find the word 'slave' repulsive. You can dress it up how wish if it fits your way of life with the guy who controls you but a rose by any other name...?" i do not find the word repulsive...nor am i calling for censorship...i wish those in D/s relationships to consider that whilst people are forced into slavery it might be respectful and compassionate not to use the term with reference to fucking. | |||
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"An analogy for those struggling with symbolism and the importance of words... Muslims against Crusades or whatever the feckwits are calling themselves this week made the headlines burning poppies on Remembrance Sunday...it was quite rightly considered disrespctful. Cold logic would ask why...the war dead know nothing of it, and the burning of a few paper flowers was just a symbolic act. The fact is symbols are important. A group of muslim students hoping to undo some of the damage contacted the British Legion last year and asked if there were anything they could do to help...they were out collecting for the poppy appeal all through November...and will be this year too...a small act by a group of people about symbols. i would like to see those in D/s relationships refuse to use the word slave, whatever their personal feelings until there was not a single man woman or child forced into slavery in the world...a small symbolic act to say we care about more than kink and getting our jollies." you can be so patronising at times jemima...honestly you can...read your posts | |||
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"i do not find the word repulsive...nor am i calling for censorship...i wish those in D/s relationships to consider that whilst people are forced into slavery it might be respectful and compassionate not to use the term with reference to fucking." I've known slaves who never indulge in fucking and for them it's purely a control thing. I've known slaves who get off on being humiliated but they never indulge in fucking. I've known subs who get off on being passed around for fucking but would never use the word 'Master'. Who are you to say who should use what term? You don't like the word 'slave' and that's fine. Others don't have a problem with it but would never want to go to Marrakesh and buy one. | |||
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"Perhaps I had better stop using the term "Playgroup"! There has been and no doubt still is abuse going on in one somewhere! What about the Catholic Church, is that now a taboo name because it is synonymous with child abuse? In all aspects of life there are phrases and sayings that those on the more easily offended side of the fence would find offensive! Censorship is censorship, no matter which way you dress it up!" If anyone was calling for censorship you'd have a point. They haven't. You haven't. | |||
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"It is demeaning and trivializes the experience of those in slavery all over the world. In YOUR opinion. Others find calling a Dom 'Master' demeaning and would prefer 'Sir'. Horses for courses, and if the OP wants to be a 'slave' it's his particular kink and good luck to him. no ,i think its not a matter of opinion that calling yourself by a word used to describe ppl tortured,sexually abused and forced to work, shows a lack of respect for their experience and trivializes it. My opinion is that it shouldnt be done...that is something that ppl are free to disagree with...it doesnt change the reality . That incredibly two faced of you as you use the word "owned" on your profile an in the context you are talking the two are hand in hand. I am not keen on on either word but understand the context people use the word slave on here. I have to assume you are just trying to give out an image to people on the forums rather than having conviction in your words. "Nice bit of ad hominem there, well done, you should be proud of yourself... It's possible to hold opinions that you don't agree with and not be a hypocrite... | |||
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"Did the OP get himself sorted out then? "Probably turned into a quivering wreck in the corner after reading some of the responses he got | |||
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"Did the OP get himself sorted out then? "Wasn't he looking for someone else to sort him out? | |||
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"Poor guy. All he wanted was for someone to make tea for and to be slapped about a bit." You have to look at the irony of this thread the guy is looking for on line abuse and he gets it, unfortunately it wasn’t in the manner he was wanting. People who are owned and kept in slavery well we all feel sorry for them I would think but I hardly think they care what you call their situation is called it’s the fact they are not free is what they hate and in 2012 it’s appauling one person thinks they can own another. | |||
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" If you are able to find a better word to describe our D/s relationship i am open to suggestions. " Role play, fun, not really a slave, pretend. After all you can walk away, can't you???? | |||
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" If you are able to find a better word to describe our D/s relationship i am open to suggestions. Role play, fun, not really a slave, pretend. After all you can walk away, can't you????" i dont call myself a slave and i dont do role play...so why would either of those apply? | |||
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" If you are able to find a better word to describe our D/s relationship i am open to suggestions. Role play, fun, not really a slave, pretend. After all you can walk away, can't you???? i dont call myself a slave and i dont do role play...so why would either of those apply?" Erm... as the term implies: D/s = Dom/sub. BDSM = BD DS SM = BonDage DiScipline Sado Masochism as a sub you should know that already. | |||
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"Poor guy. All he wanted was for someone to make tea for and to be slapped about a bit. You have to look at the irony of this thread the guy is looking for on line abuse and he gets it, unfortunately it wasn’t in the manner he was wanting. People who are owned and kept in slavery well we all feel sorry for them I would think but I hardly think they care what you call their situation is called it’s the fact they are not free is what they hate and in 2012 it’s appauling one person thinks they can own another. " Again, who abused him? Or are you exaggerating what went on for effect? | |||
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" If you are able to find a better word to describe our D/s relationship i am open to suggestions. Role play, fun, not really a slave, pretend. After all you can walk away, can't you???? i dont call myself a slave and i dont do role play...so why would either of those apply? Erm... as the term implies: D/s = Dom/sub. BDSM = BD DS SM = BonDage DiScipline Sado Masochism as a sub you should know that already." Actually it's Bondage & Discipline / Domination & Submission / Sadism & Masochism. Fail to see your point though, that describes what we do not the relationship between me and Sir. | |||
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" If you are able to find a better word to describe our D/s relationship i am open to suggestions. Role play, fun, not really a slave, pretend. After all you can walk away, can't you???? i dont call myself a slave and i dont do role play...so why would either of those apply? Erm... as the term implies: D/s = Dom/sub. BDSM = BD DS SM = BonDage DiScipline Sado Masochism as a sub you should know that already. Actually it's Bondage & Discipline / Domination & Submission / Sadism & Masochism. Fail to see your point though, that describes what we do not the relationship between me and Sir. " The clue was in the second part of my statement (the BD DS SM bit). The last part I threw in as a red herring to prove a point that you would feel compelled to correct me. Actually. | |||
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"Poor guy. All he wanted was for someone to make tea for and to be slapped about a bit. You have to look at the irony of this thread the guy is looking for on line abuse and he gets it, unfortunately it wasn’t in the manner he was wanting. People who are owned and kept in slavery well we all feel sorry for them I would think but I hardly think they care what you call their situation is called it’s the fact they are not free is what they hate and in 2012 it’s appauling one person thinks they can own another. Again, who abused him? Or are you exaggerating what went on for effect?" I won’t go on to explain what irony is, exaggerate well you need to read up on what the word means. Its almost as though you have some vested interest here, surely that’s not the case! I think there are a few reading back on this thread that have seen things clearly though. | |||
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"If anyone was calling for censorship you'd have a point. They haven't. You haven't. " You see? For all your education, you still have trouble seeing a basic point! I never said anyone was calling for censorship. The point still stands and is valid! I just made the statement that no matter how it comes about, the forbidding or cajoling of people to stop using certain words, such as tying it to an emotive subject and implying that those who use it are wrong! Even trying to latch on to a popular trend to try and make people move to your side of the fence and effectively calling people heretics for daring to disagree! (Climate Change?) All are censorship of one form or other. The allying of a term used by a section of the population with something abhorrent when it is accepted that they have no wish to denigrate those less fortunate, is nothing short of censorship by the back door! Once “Slave” were banned, what next? Sex? The word sex has been used in the term “Sex Slaves” therefore it should be banned so as not to demean those going through it?? Perhaps people really should get a life and stop worrying about something they have no control over or join an action group to actually help cure the problem. Getting people to stop using the word slave on a swingers site is not going to help one bit! | |||
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