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Advice to people you care about?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don't mince my words, and say what I think when someone I care about ask me for advice.

However, if he/she has already made up his/her mind about something, then I would keep my mouth shut even when I have a very bad feeling about it.

I would wish him/her good luck with whatever he/she has decided, while secretly hope that he/she is right and I am wrong, and that I shall be there for him/her when everything go Pete Tong.

How about you?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If they have asked for advice then I would still give it....and maybe paint the two different scenarios of what would happen to let her still make her own mind up.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

no. i tell people generally what i think whether they have made up their minds or not.

then they can steel themselves for when i say i told you so. lol.

my brother is the prize example.

split up with his ex, she uses the kids as weapons (sickening if you ask me) and after 5 years he is only now taking what i told him on board, 5 years of wasted time and not seeing his kids from one time to the next.

sickens me hole

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have been known to avoid being too friendly/close with someone as I know something unpleasant about his/her partner.

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By *exki11enWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm the same as you Pearl, speak my mind, but if they're resolute in their decision, then i'll back off. People will always make their own mistakes, you just have to be there to help them pick up the pieces when it all falls apart.

And a true friend will never say I told you so.

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

If advice is asked for offer it, or do it gently if it isnt and it feels right.

then all you can do is stand back see what happens, be happy if their way works and be there to pick up the peices if it doesnt.

and avoid the 'i told you so' comment even if you are thinking it (now would i even think it).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been known to avoid being too friendly/close with someone as I know something unpleasant about his/her partner. "

In this case... I would ask myself if my advice would help or hinder...

If the latter, I would keep my mouth shut.

Rarely do I give direct advice... I prefer to listen and let them steer themselves towards their answers.

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

I always say what I think and to be fair it is what my family and friends expect from me. But I do say I am right but I'd be happy if you prove me wrong.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"I don't mince my words, and say what I think when someone I care about ask me for advice.

However, if he/she has already made up his/her mind about something, then I would keep my mouth shut even when I have a very bad feeling about it.

I would wish him/her good luck with whatever he/she has decided, while secretly hope that he/she is right and I am wrong, and that I shall be there for him/her when everything go Pete Tong.

How about you? "

TO people i care about i rarely give advice...i would rather take the time and let them explore and discover their own solution .

A listening ear is usually all someone needs, but is so rarely offered.If they are going to make a decision that i think comes from a bad place i will try to get them to look at that...but i am not them, a good decision for me might be totally wrong for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't mince my words, and say what I think when someone I care about ask me for advice.

However, if he/she has already made up his/her mind about something, then I would keep my mouth shut even when I have a very bad feeling about it.

I would wish him/her good luck with whatever he/she has decided, while secretly hope that he/she is right and I am wrong, and that I shall be there for him/her when everything go Pete Tong.

How about you?

TO people i care about i rarely give advice...i would rather take the time and let them explore and discover their own solution .

A listening ear is usually all someone needs, but is so rarely offered.If they are going to make a decision that i think comes from a bad place i will try to get them to look at that...but i am not them, a good decision for me might be totally wrong for them.

"

Err... Wot I said, but writ betta...

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I would listen and try to find out what THEY want, then I would point out different scenarios in aan attempt to show alternative behaviours/ decisions. I think a good friend listens and if any advice is given it should consider the whole situation and what would be good for that friend, I suppose I would try and detach myself from my own values to an extent to empower them to make THEIR own decision.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"I don't mince my words, and say what I think when someone I care about ask me for advice.

However, if he/she has already made up his/her mind about something, then I would keep my mouth shut even when I have a very bad feeling about it.

I would wish him/her good luck with whatever he/she has decided, while secretly hope that he/she is right and I am wrong, and that I shall be there for him/her when everything go Pete Tong.

How about you?

TO people i care about i rarely give advice...i would rather take the time and let them explore and discover their own solution .

A listening ear is usually all someone needs, but is so rarely offered.If they are going to make a decision that i think comes from a bad place i will try to get them to look at that...but i am not them, a good decision for me might be totally wrong for them.

Err... Wot I said, but writ betta... "

fank ooo

You might like one of my favourite quotes then,,,

The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right.”

Hannah Whitall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't mince my words, and say what I think when someone I care about ask me for advice.

However, if he/she has already made up his/her mind about something, then I would keep my mouth shut even when I have a very bad feeling about it.

I would wish him/her good luck with whatever he/she has decided, while secretly hope that he/she is right and I am wrong, and that I shall be there for him/her when everything go Pete Tong.

How about you? "

i actully lost very good friend over not keeping my mouth shut on a subject i know she was making a mistake on, even tho it turned out i was right and she did come back to me later that said she had wished she hd listerned to me at the time she couldnt see it and turned her back on me

If i have a feeling about something i have to say it no matter what

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Noone ever asks my advice

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Noone ever asks my advice

"

Just to make you feel better....Should I have my apple pie with custard or ice cream?

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

If someone asks me for advice then I tend to give it, whether they have made their mind up or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Noone ever asks my advice

Just to make you feel better....Should I have my apple pie with custard or ice cream? "

Oh I know this!! apple pie with custard, save the cream for warm yumyums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely ice cream....can't stand custard but if it was Mr Cozy he'd say have both

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Noone ever asks my advice

Just to make you feel better....Should I have my apple pie with custard or ice cream?

Oh I know this!! apple pie with custard, save the cream for warm yumyums "

Good advice....Custard it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't mince my words, and say what I think when someone I care about ask me for advice.

However, if he/she has already made up his/her mind about something, then I would keep my mouth shut even when I have a very bad feeling about it.

I would wish him/her good luck with whatever he/she has decided, while secretly hope that he/she is right and I am wrong, and that I shall be there for him/her when everything go Pete Tong.

How about you? "

Sounds fair to me.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I do consider myself to be a very loyal friend and i often give my friends advice its totaly upto them what they decide to about it many times friends have come back to me and said jacs you were absouloutley right others havent even tho i have been right think thats been more a pride thing on their behalf.

Also if a friend tried to give me advice me on something then id take everything they had to say on board and think very carefully .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Advice can be given but it is up to the person asking what actions they take.

Speaking from experience I find being truthful, no matter how harsh, hurtful or helpful is the best approach.

Obviously the advice must be given in a polit and pleasant manner for your side to be taken on board (hopefully)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To people I care about, my true friends, I do not give advice in relation to personal matters, I prefer to listen. If it was a general query or, for instance, in relation to a new job, I would discuss the pros and cons with them.

I don't get involved in other peoples relationships, I don't care what I know or don't about others' partners, I would keep my mouth shut and I would not offer any advice. Often people think they are doing things for the best, you can never know the full story in anyone's relationship, no matter how much you think you do or what you believe the other person knows. Discretion is key in relation to friends personal lives and only a listening ear offered

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