FabSwingers.com forum: Funniest things you've seen in people's bios

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What's the funniest things you've seen in someone's bio?

I've come across one naming and shaming the STD she carries and pretty much saying like it or lump it! The scary thing is.. she has verifications by meet!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys claiming to be open minded and genuine. Crack me up every time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Guys claiming to be open minded and genuine. Crack me up every time. "

[Insert witty comeback here]

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

I saw one female recently asking to meet Men aged from 37 to 37. That kind of narrows it down doesn't it??

Couple of months ago, there was another lady whingeing badly and ripping apart all Single Males.

Reason? Not one had contacted her after she'd posted up a meet looking for JUST Single Males!

I checked her profile. She'd have done better if she'd adjusted her Filters and allowed Males to message her!!

Doh!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I saw one female recently asking to meet Men aged from 37 to 37. That kind of narrows it down doesn't it??

Couple of months ago, there was another lady whingeing badly and ripping apart all Single Males.

Reason? Not one had contacted her after she'd posted up a meet looking for JUST Single Males!

I checked her profile. She'd have done better if she'd adjusted her Filters and allowed Males to message her!!

Doh!"

Haha that's brilliant!

It always gets me when their status is read my bio or you won't get a reply.. you proceed to read there bio consisting of 10 words and just shrug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw one female recently asking to meet Men aged from 37 to 37. That kind of narrows it down doesn't it??

Couple of months ago, there was another lady whingeing badly and ripping apart all Single Males.

Reason? Not one had contacted her after she'd posted up a meet looking for JUST Single Males!

I checked her profile. She'd have done better if she'd adjusted her Filters and allowed Males to message her!!

Doh!

Haha that's brilliant!

It always gets me when their status is read my bio or you won't get a reply.. you proceed to read there bio consisting of 10 words and just shrug "

And then have a keyword you must use when you message to prove you've read it

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"I saw one female recently asking to meet Men aged from 37 to 37."

I have mine at 99-99 sometimes when I don't want to receive messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a guy near me who has a pretty good profile which just says "Sydney's University?" at the end of it. I thought that was pretty funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw one female recently asking to meet Men aged from 37 to 37.

I have mine at 99-99 sometimes when I don't want to receive messages

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I saw one female recently asking to meet Men aged from 37 to 37. That kind of narrows it down doesn't it??

Couple of months ago, there was another lady whingeing badly and ripping apart all Single Males.

Reason? Not one had contacted her after she'd posted up a meet looking for JUST Single Males!

I checked her profile. She'd have done better if she'd adjusted her Filters and allowed Males to message her!!

Doh!

Haha that's brilliant!

It always gets me when their status is read my bio or you won't get a reply.. you proceed to read there bio consisting of 10 words and just shrug

And then have a keyword you must use when you message to prove you've read it

I am not a fan of the key word..puts me right off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The one where the guy tells the reader his favourite flowers, where he shops and his preferred product range to eat.

I mean there's detail and then there's DETAIL

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"The one where the guy tells the reader his favourite flowers, where he shops and his preferred product range to eat.

I mean there's detail and then there's DETAIL"

maybe he's hoping she'll woo him with lunch and flowers. And they say romance isn't dead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have seen some profiles saying "Don't just send a Hi or good morning".

Just this and nothing else. Even the interests section is empty. What is someone supposed to message about, if there is nothing about the person in the profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The one where the guy tells the reader his favourite flowers, where he shops and his preferred product range to eat.

I mean there's detail and then there's DETAIL

maybe he's hoping she'll woo him with lunch and flowers. And they say romance isn't dead

If only

There are other bits that I deliberately left out

As humble brags go, it's a hoot for cynical sods like me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have mine at 99-99 sometimes when I don't want to receive messages

I like that

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"What's the funniest things you've seen in someone's bio?

I've come across one naming and shaming the STD she carries and pretty much saying like it or lump it! The scary thing is.. she has verifications by meet!!!! "

Cannot see any funny side of that tbh.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight man looking for women & tvs lol. Errr hardly straight really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen some profiles saying "Don't just send a Hi or good morning".

Just this and nothing else. Even the interests section is empty. What is someone supposed to message about, if there is nothing about the person in the profile?"

Very good point and one of my bug bears.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men over the age of 50 looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 30 only...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a couples profile yesterday that was like war and peace length, and at the end the guy wrote ...

“One more thing guys, if you disrespect my princess I will find you and hurt you”

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

The profiles that have nothing in them demanding face pictures

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By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

Saw a profile that demanded a face picture with every message....and proceeded to say that because of discretion and their job no face photos would be sent......

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Straight and they want to meet me and to quote 'smash my arse'

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Straight and they want to meet me and to quote 'smash my arse'

There's a profile with a similar name though I believe it is "Fannies" that are his preferred body part to "smash"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a couple in Salisbury, I think that have war and peace in theirs. Always useful if I can’t sleep

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

They "want to meet for naughty fun" but "can't travel" or "accommodate"

hmmmm how's that going to work then?

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By *yan28edinMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

Ha ha. Excellent. I dont get the age thing. Peoples age requirements stay the same even though they're getting older.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Straight man looking for women & tvs lol. Errr hardly straight really. "

When called on it they all claim it was a mistake

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Straight man looking for women & tvs lol. Errr hardly straight really.

When called on it they all claim it was a mistake

Not when they message me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Straight man looking for women & tvs lol. Errr hardly straight really.

When called on it they all claim it was a mistake

Not when they message me

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Straight man looking for women & tvs lol. Errr hardly straight really.

When called on it they all claim it was a mistake

"
yeah right lol. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the funniest,but there’s a woman who’s profile reads...not on any contraception and don’t want you to wear a condom,any pregnancies will be kept...

She has veris too

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By *hebritukCouple
over a year ago

London

Couples who want to experience an older couple/women? Sounds like we are an alien species or something!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those who won’t meet bi guys but when you do a little digging on their verifications you can see they have.

guys who state quality over quantity makes me giggle too

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By *ames in LaoisMan
over a year ago

portloaise

"Not the funniest,but there’s a woman who’s profile reads...not on any contraception and don’t want you to wear a condom,any pregnancies will be kept...

She has veris too

Bloody hell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not the funniest,but there’s a woman who’s profile reads...not on any contraception and don’t want you to wear a condom,any pregnancies will be kept...

She has veris too

Bloody hell

"
talk about who's the daddy !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the funniest things you've seen in someone's bio?

I've come across one naming and shaming the STD she carries and pretty much saying like it or lump it! The scary thing is.. she has verifications by meet!!!! "

I met her for a cream pie

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"Not the funniest,but there’s a woman who’s profile reads...not on any contraception and don’t want you to wear a condom,any pregnancies will be kept...

She has veris too

Dafuq

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By *layer oneMan
over a year ago

mirfield

"I saw one female recently asking to meet Men aged from 37 to 37. That kind of narrows it down doesn't it??

Couple of months ago, there was another lady whingeing badly and ripping apart all Single Males.

Reason? Not one had contacted her after she'd posted up a meet looking for JUST Single Males!

I checked her profile. She'd have done better if she'd adjusted her Filters and allowed Males to message her!!

Doh!

Haha that's brilliant!

It always gets me when their status is read my bio or you won't get a reply.. you proceed to read there bio consisting of 10 words and just shrug

And then have a keyword you must use when you message to prove you've read it

But still don’t get back to you lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not the funniest,but there’s a woman who’s profile reads...not on any contraception and don’t want you to wear a condom,any pregnancies will be kept...

She has veris too

Bloody hell

talk about who's the daddy !!"

I've had a few guys ask if they can get me pregnant. Perhaps they've managed to find her. If not I should send them.her way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The profiles with no public pictures, no avatar and the text only says: if you want to know anything just ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No photos. No veri's. No meets yet demand a meet NOW.

Can never get my head around cannot accommodate/cannot travel. How does that work??!!

Not a smoker ( well giving up .... then you ARE a smoker!)

Photos that are at least 20 years out of date!! Quite frightening when you meet them!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the ones that are "ask" or even ...... With footers that look like that have been scanned in and look like they are from the 70s!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Won't accommodate and won't travel! Good luck with that

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By *andS33Couple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Won't accommodate and won't travel! Good luck with that"

If you think about it, it's not as daft as it sounds. Usually means they want to meet locally but not in their home. Hotels, clubs, parties etc

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"What's the funniest things you've seen in someone's bio?

I've come across one naming and shaming the STD she carries and pretty much saying like it or lump it! The scary thing is.. she has verifications by meet!!!! "

I think this is a good thing. Certain STIs can be managed but not cured but with the correct precautions, the chances of infecting others can be reduced to a miniscule chance. Personally I admire her for her honesty and allowing others to make an informed decision as many others would just hide it.

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan
over a year ago

Lincoln

The "respectful and honest gentlemen" who have messaged K offering everything from cocaine, to a secret male lover she hasn't asked for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw one female recently asking to meet Men aged from 37 to 37.

I have mine at 99-99 sometimes when I don't want to receive messages

That is why I am staying on here until I am 99!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

The likes of 'timewasters, please stay away ' I'm sure it's not very effective

. I smile, hoping it's not their only measure

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Guys and gals with profile text telling you what a fun, lighthearted person they are... But always have aggressive, or sneeringly condescending status updates.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read the longest profile in the history of internet profiles just as a challenge.... this profile was like reading every Franz Kafka novel in one sitting.....

She is a Very pretty lady , but all I can remember from reading her profile was that she liked chess....

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By *iberty RedWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

When their profile text says 'New so will fill in later' but have been on over a year.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"I saw one female recently asking to meet Men aged from 37 to 37.

I have mine at 99-99 sometimes when I don't want to receive messages

Snap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea i dont read them

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By *ad steMan
over a year ago

Southport

"Not the funniest,but there’s a woman who’s profile reads...not on any contraception and don’t want you to wear a condom,any pregnancies will be kept...

She has veris too

Hilarious I carnt have kids wonder how interested she would be after I told her that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When their profile text says 'New so will fill in later' but have been on over a year.

What she said and zero profile pics !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funniest one I ever read was the treat me with respect but the status read ‘anyone want a bj for a score ‘

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once came across a woman who wanted everyone to just what a fun gal she was. She had it as her user name.

Fungal.

I was slightly put off.

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By *aekaeWoman
over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place

I spotted one a little while ago from a "professional" and "well educated" couple.

1 line of biography which said next to nothing.

1 avatar picture, but zero pictures in their gallery.

An extremely wordy Sydney University warning.

Finished off with an equally wordy warning about how Facebook is a Public Entity.

Facebook? Facebook for God's sake? It's on your Fab profile you numbnuts.

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By *T_LEECouple (MM)
over a year ago

near you

"What's the funniest things you've seen in someone's bio?

I've come across one naming and shaming the STD she carries and pretty much saying like it or lump it! The scary thing is.. she has verifications by meet!!!! "

Was she just being honest and warning people of the risks? Brave open and honest.

She probably wishes others had treated her with the same honesty in the past.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Not the funniest,but there’s a woman who’s profile reads...not on any contraception and don’t want you to wear a condom,any pregnancies will be kept...

She has veris too

At least it helps with child support, when they have admitted the sex.

Imagine a family of bambinos, all from fab meets

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By *ilentnoiseMan
over a year ago

Belfast

‘Couple’ profiles where they say “Mrs isn’t playing but Mr can still meet”

WTF

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

The ‘non smoker’ profiles where in the veries it says, ‘Thanks for the cheeky fag’.

On a guy’s profile had a picture of his erect cock holding up a jacket on a coathanger.

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By *scanioMan
over a year ago

Runcorn

Yes I have seen this to, almost spat my coffee out with laughter.

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