FabSwingers.com forum: Fascination with perfection....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I've just been shopping in my local Aldi.. I found myself having full on lust for this man all because of his conversation, song singing and general what I deem epic dad skills. Not in a I want to rip his clothes off way but in a I'd marry him here and now way ( which is a terrifying thought for this divorced woman to have)

Evolution tells us that animals would seek good parenting partners but we don't necessarily do the same.

So is it that or is it that my own son's haven't had a good father figure in their lives?

Or is it just this switch that gets flicked in lots of women when they see these things?

The fascination with something we deem perfect!

Also am I the only one that has these weird thoughts in supermarkets....

What is your perfection thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfection thing???

Well there is this girl....

But I'm just not shiney enough.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Although last night I saw a clip on tv of a little girl in hospital who was very frightened. Her dad was with her and said in a very calm voice "you know what happens when bad things happen?" She shook her head "daddy's here" was his reply.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"So I've just been shopping in my local Aldi.. I found myself having full on lust for this man all because of his conversation, song singing and general what I deem epic dad skills. Not in a I want to rip his clothes off way but in a I'd marry him here and now way ( which is a terrifying thought for this divorced woman to have)

Evolution tells us that animals would seek good parenting partners but we don't necessarily do the same.

So is it that or is it that my own son's haven't had a good father figure in their lives?

Or is it just this switch that gets flicked in lots of women when they see these things?

The fascination with something we deem perfect!

Also am I the only one that has these weird thoughts in supermarkets....

What is your perfection thing?"

I think it's fantastic that you like a man regardless of looks because of his parenting skills but I think "some" women have evolved to go for the bad boy now.

I regularly see really nice young ladies pushing a pram and in relationships with the local scum(drug addicts, thieves, dole boys) etc

And you think omg if you went out with your friends to a nicer part of town you could meet a nice guy who would (odd exception that he might still be a twat) that would treat you right.

I guess love is blind

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

I love treating all ppl right, until they or if they become arseoles

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Evolution tells us that animals would seek good parenting partners but we don't necessarily do the same.

So is it that or is it that my own son's haven't had a good father figure in their lives?

Or is it just this switch that gets flicked in lots of women when they see these things?

The fascination with something we deem perfect!

Also am I the only one that has these weird thoughts in supermarkets....

What is your perfection thing?

I think it's fantastic that you like a man regardless of looks because of his parenting skills but I think "some" women have evolved to go for the bad boy now.

I regularly see really nice young ladies pushing a pram and in relationships with the local scum(drug addicts, thieves, dole boys) etc

And you think omg if you went out with your friends to a nicer part of town you could meet a nice guy who would (odd exception that he might still be a twat) that would treat you right.

I guess love is blind "

But do men think this way ? Do they look at the nurturing types as Freud would suggest or is it that they do just want a fantasy?

There's a school of thought certainly among my friends that men are put off strong independent woman. And sometimes I look around and think it's clear that they must be.

It's obviously very different in the NSA world of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No names

But i do know this girl right and she oh boy oh boy she got it

As for the day stuff kevin heart said it best most dads version of babysitting is sitting on the sofa watching tv listening for shit

guilty

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No names

But i do know this girl right and she oh boy oh boy she got it

As for the day stuff kevin heart said it best most dads version of babysitting is sitting on the sofa watching tv listening for shit

guilty"

Dads don't babysit... They aren't doing the mum's a favour.. they should be parenting and doing their job of sharing it.

Winds me up that some men still have these outdated ideas!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"No names

But i do know this girl right and she oh boy oh boy she got it

As for the day stuff kevin heart said it best most dads version of babysitting is sitting on the sofa watching tv listening for shit

guilty

Dads don't babysit... They aren't doing the mum's a favour.. they should be parenting and doing their job of sharing it.

Winds me up that some men still have these outdated ideas!"

We know a guy in his late twenties who refers to his time with his children as babysitting. It interferes with what he wants to do apparently but he grudgingly does it because his partner needs to work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally get it, if a guy seems like a decent person then that's so attractive. However, when I see a guy looking after his children it definitely flips a switch in me and unlike you, I totally would rip their clothes off (when alone with them of course).

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

When I'm with my boys (5&9) I need to start looking out for the ladies, I hope my parenting style is attractive.

I don't sing to them though. They'd be much too embarrassed, not me though I've got a great singing voice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I totally get it, if a guy seems like a decent person then that's so attractive. However, when I see a guy looking after his children it definitely flips a switch in me and unlike you, I totally would rip their clothes off (when alone with them of course). "

Don't get me wrong I wouldn't not rip his clothes off but it was more than that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Evolution tells us that animals would seek good parenting partners but we don't necessarily do the same.

So is it that or is it that my own son's haven't had a good father figure in their lives?

Or is it just this switch that gets flicked in lots of women when they see these things?

The fascination with something we deem perfect!

Also am I the only one that has these weird thoughts in supermarkets....

What is your perfection thing?

I think it's fantastic that you like a man regardless of looks because of his parenting skills but I think "some" women have evolved to go for the bad boy now.

I regularly see really nice young ladies pushing a pram and in relationships with the local scum(drug addicts, thieves, dole boys) etc

And you think omg if you went out with your friends to a nicer part of town you could meet a nice guy who would (odd exception that he might still be a twat) that would treat you right.

I guess love is blind

But do men think this way ? Do they look at the nurturing types as Freud would suggest or is it that they do just want a fantasy?

There's a school of thought certainly among my friends that men are put off strong independent woman. And sometimes I look around and think it's clear that they must be.

It's obviously very different in the NSA world of course "

News flash....

Just like women all men think differently....

Breaking news....

Love isnt blind. It just accepts another as they are...

Boring third news item...

Schools of thought that reduce people to amorphous groupings usually miss the point completely.

We are all human all different all driven by our own experiences. Men are more than capable of recognizing and being nurturing too...

Wanders back to the cave dragging woman behing me by the hair in one hand with a dead dinosaur for dinner hanging over my shoulder wondering if I rub two women together can I invent fire rather than always eating raw meat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Chopping onions here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/08/19 11:35:29]

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I don’t particularly find a dad being a good dad attractive. I expect fathers to be a good dad and if they’re not then clearly they’re asshats.

However, i do like to see a man being funny, polite, witty, charming, gentlemanly, kind, thoughtful, dancing, singing, having fun, enjoying life, focusing his attention on the person he’s with and not the leggy blonde with big bazookas three feet behind them and generally not being a jack the lad.

That behaviour is a right turn off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree OP, it flicks my switch too. Seeing decent dads chatting with their kids (and not staring at their phone), it really gets me. I have no reason to need that type of man so maybe it's a biological thing. Or just so unusual it flicks my switch. ('Baby sitting' dads!! No, they're your kids too!

)

There's a dad who takes his 2 young daughters to the cafe and he patiently answers all their crazy questions while they eat. They have his full attention and they're just so sweet together. It's adorable.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Evolution tells us that animals would seek good parenting partners but we don't necessarily do the same.

So is it that or is it that my own son's haven't had a good father figure in their lives?

Or is it just this switch that gets flicked in lots of women when they see these things?

The fascination with something we deem perfect!

Also am I the only one that has these weird thoughts in supermarkets....

What is your perfection thing?"

I get this completely and not just in supermarkets! A chap at work has suddenly become single and I am thinking ‘ooooh husband material’, he is a really nice caring decent man.

What’s a lass to do?!?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfection ( or realistically, seemingly ideal partners ) will be different for everyone OP. What you said about your boys lacking in their lives obviously influenced your attraction to the Dad you saw. Do you think you might have found the younger version of this guy attractive when neither of you were parents ?

I think most people's 'perfection' changes with experience and circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Evolution tells us that animals would seek good parenting partners but we don't necessarily do the same.

So is it that or is it that my own son's haven't had a good father figure in their lives?

Or is it just this switch that gets flicked in lots of women when they see these things?

The fascination with something we deem perfect!

Also am I the only one that has these weird thoughts in supermarkets....

What is your perfection thing?

I get this completely and not just in supermarkets! A chap at work has suddenly become single and I am thinking ‘ooooh husband material’, he is a really nice caring decent man.

What’s a lass to do?!?!

Lol I've had those thoughts but quickly dismiss them because I know I'm not wife material

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perfection ( or realistically, seemingly ideal partners ) will be different for everyone OP. What you said about your boys lacking in their lives obviously influenced your attraction to the Dad you saw. Do you think you might have found the younger version of this guy attractive when neither of you were parents ?

I think most people's 'perfection' changes with experience and circumstances.

I think that definitely is a big factor . It may also be part of the reason I'm often attracted to married men... They are apparently good husband's! It's all very ironic

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm cynical. I see perfection or bloody good and wonder what the catch is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife had post natal depression pretty bad with our kids.so I found myself taking them out all the time...funny thing about that was most women I met in my day of going to parks and play groups and the likes ,were super friendly and got some very surprising offers ,phone numbers etc...the one I got most often was they thought I was a single dad for what ever reason...there was more than a few times that once the lady found out my wife was at home or work and I wasn't a single dad they would go all weird on me...I miss them days...was good for the ego...I never acted on any on the invites but there was one lady that almost got me to stray..

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Aww that daddy sounds a great guy,I can't imagine my dad ever saying that to me,mine would come out with something daft instead.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Aww that daddy sounds a great guy,I can't imagine my dad ever saying that to me,mine would come out with something daft instead."

It brought a tear to my eye I admit. He said it so matter of factly that she couldn't but believe him.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Aww that daddy sounds a great guy,I can't imagine my dad ever saying that to me,mine would come out with something daft instead.

It brought a tear to my eye I admit. He said it so matter of factly that she couldn't but believe him. "

That must be great to have that kind of security and love from your parents,she's a very lucky girl.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Aww that daddy sounds a great guy,I can't imagine my dad ever saying that to me,mine would come out with something daft instead.

It brought a tear to my eye I admit. He said it so matter of factly that she couldn't but believe him.

That must be great to have that kind of security and love from your parents,she's a very lucky girl."

Your dad would have been there saying something daft

. That's what counts

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Don’t think it’s a weird thought. The ‘what if’ in me switches on at random times, it’s distracting, frustrating, saddening but also there’s a mirror which shines and kicks me up the arse

If in Aldi, I’d be thinking what’s down that random aisle!

I’d rather be with someone than not but would rather not be with the wrong person. Father/mother figures are important and it’s sad to see that the role played is not seen as one (basically by the bad ones) valued. Sometimes I think people want what they don’t have but then forget what they do, I’m guilty of it anyway

I should watch more Attenborough to learn how animals behave, closer than we think sometimes.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Aww that daddy sounds a great guy,I can't imagine my dad ever saying that to me,mine would come out with something daft instead.

It brought a tear to my eye I admit. He said it so matter of factly that she couldn't but believe him.

That must be great to have that kind of security and love from your parents,she's a very lucky girl.

Your dad would have been there saying something daft

. That's what counts

Very true,growing up I always wished my parents were Mary and Charles Ingalls from Little House in the Prairie

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Aww that daddy sounds a great guy,I can't imagine my dad ever saying that to me,mine would come out with something daft instead.

It brought a tear to my eye I admit. He said it so matter of factly that she couldn't but believe him.

That must be great to have that kind of security and love from your parents,she's a very lucky girl.

Your dad would have been there saying something daft

. That's what counts

Actually I doubt he would have been there my mum maybe.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Aww that daddy sounds a great guy,I can't imagine my dad ever saying that to me,mine would come out with something daft instead.

It brought a tear to my eye I admit. He said it so matter of factly that she couldn't but believe him.

That must be great to have that kind of security and love from your parents,she's a very lucky girl.

Your dad would have been there saying something daft

. That's what counts

Actually I doubt he would have been there my mum maybe."

Yeah, my mum would have been there when I was a very little kid my dad would probably have been at work. There were too many younger siblings and foster children later on for them to always be there.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I think it's a combination of things. In that snapshot of time you saw things that showed him to be a good person.

For me its a man who can hold a good conversation and is cheerful.

Aww that daddy sounds a great guy,I can't imagine my dad ever saying that to me,mine would come out with something daft instead.

It brought a tear to my eye I admit. He said it so matter of factly that she couldn't but believe him.

That must be great to have that kind of security and love from your parents,she's a very lucky girl.

Your dad would have been there saying something daft

. That's what counts

Ha ha haaaaaa I wish my dad had been more caring! He would take me and my younger sister for long walks on a Sunday morning! My sister was 1 years of age in the pushchair and I was 6 years of age! I must have done something naughty once and his words were ‘scram get home’ so I literally did that and run to the other side of the town crossing several roads, he never followed me, so I got home and mum was furious. We never went for another Sunday walk after that

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