FabSwingers.com forum: Cheaters

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You let it be. As much as you feel hurt and want to hurt him unless you know his wife you should leave it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Let it be,walk away if its not for you.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

Don't be that person OP.....walk away head up, big smile and flip him the finger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be? "
lol omg the fact you're considering messaging his wife is not good if it has upset you walk away end of

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question "

She's asking for help it's not weird. If I was her I'd be pissed off immensely and hunt him down to castrate the fucker,but I know thats probably not the best thing to do.

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By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

No real answer to this one....if you don't know his wife....probably best to stay/walk away....even though you probably feel his wife should know!!

See.....I knew the husband (& wife) that my ex-partner decided to cheat on me with.....as they lived next door....so when I found out...I have to lat the wife know what the pair of them had been up to for months!!! Hahaha

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

She's asking for help it's not weird. If I was her I'd be pissed off immensely and hunt him down to castrate the fucker,but I know thats probably not the best thing to do."

I'd want to do this but I'd walk away xx

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I'm very sorry this happened to you, but walk away. It's the best thing you can do in my opinion

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

She's asking for help it's not weird. If I was her I'd be pissed off immensely and hunt him down to castrate the fucker,but I know thats probably not the best thing to do.

I'd want to do this but I'd walk away xx"

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

do it...

He used you both...

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

Have some dignity and walk away. You may think you’re doing the wife a favour but ultimately it could all blow up in your face. You don’t know the full story behind the why. If you are upset or bitter, just allow karma to work it’s magic. What goes around...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first thing you do is get a sti test. After all he has no problem lying to you its better to check your health situ.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

She's asking for help it's not weird. If I was her I'd be pissed off immensely and hunt him down to castrate the fucker,but I know thats probably not the best thing to do."
ooooo let me think do i want loads of drama and maybe upset some young kids and an oblivious woman out of sheer spite or walk away hmmmmm hunt him by all means but why contact her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deal with it like a grown up. Walk away with dignity and your head held high.

Unless you like drama and aggro.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block him and walk away. I'd be tempted to forward everything to his wife but you just know that's going to blow up in your face.

If you really wanted though you could cautiously approach the wife and explain the situation as apologetically as you can, make sure to ditch the blame on him for lying so she can't go off at you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/08/19 09:23:56]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly find OP that even though you are totally innocent and never knew the guy was cheating the wife will be just as angry with you as her husband. If you want a bit of revenge why not scare the guy tell him your going to contact his wife might make him think about cheating again.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Walk away and let it be. You don’t want to be dragged into his drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

"
discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a right to feel hurt and angry OP ,but be the bigger person and walk away, know need to cause his wife any pain and hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Squaddies

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

She's asking for help it's not weird. If I was her I'd be pissed off immensely and hunt him down to castrate the fucker,but I know thats probably not the best thing to do.ooooo let me think do i want loads of drama and maybe upset some young kids and an oblivious woman out of sheer spite or walk away hmmmmm hunt him by all means but why contact her

To let her know what a shit she has for a husband a woman scorned is a dangerous thing,men beware

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hide your pain, don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you upset.

Roll your sleeves up, dust your pinny down & walk away like a queen.

Contacting the wife will end up causing you more pain & drama.

Hugs hunni x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my experiences, the other woman in this situation - being you - usually gets the blame from the wife. Walk away and learn from it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?"

How does that make it OP's fault? She was under the impression he was single, the blame is entirely on the cheat. He's the one who's decide to cause the damage.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Walk away or have an affair with his wife.

Nah, just walk away. Today.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"The first thing you do is get a sti test. After all he has no problem lying to you its better to check your health situ. "

She needs to advice he do that at his end,if he passes something on to his Misses he would have a wee bit of explaining to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

Drama it is then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

To let her know what a shit she has for a husband a woman scorned is a dangerous thing,men beware

."
then you get the backlash from a guy whos lost everything has nothing left but vengeance for the woman who out of spite decided to ruin his life just becomes tit for tat then

Dont try dress it up as a service for the wife cos its simply not

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Revenge on him is understandable, but what’s the wife done, nothing .. so walk away. Yr pride is hurt but that can be rebuilt .. but is the trusting others from now on in ... liars are cunts and revenge can be damaging & consuming .. suck the mop and keep walking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just walk away and leave them be .Hold your head up high and move on ..Time is a good healer you'll soon come bouncing back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally agree, even though it's not her fault.

She'll end up been the home wrecking whore in the wife's eyes, even though she is 100% innocent.

He'll worm his way back in with the wife

No winners in this situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How does that make it OP's fault? She was under the impression he was single, the blame is entirely on the cheat. He's the one who's decide to cause the damage."
for deciding that shes doing a public service by helping him wreck his family makes her as guily as him then

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Fuck him and scratch his back. This is ALWAYS guaranteed to give an attached man kittens.

Then you’ll soon know whether him and his wife actually do share a bed/have sex.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

To let her know what a shit she has for a husband a woman scorned is a dangerous thing,men beware

.then you get the backlash from a guy whos lost everything has nothing left but vengeance for the woman who out of spite decided to ruin his life just becomes tit for tat then

Dont try dress it up as a service for the wife cos its simply not "

well said....(for a change)

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By *etite HandfulWoman
over a year ago

Chester

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be? "

Its pretty obvious what to do.

Message his wife and ask for a threesome.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

To let her know what a shit she has for a husband a woman scorned is a dangerous thing,men beware

.then you get the backlash from a guy whos lost everything has nothing left but vengeance for the woman who out of spite decided to ruin his life just becomes tit for tat then

Dont try dress it up as a service for the wife cos its simply not "

Ok I'll just give the jolly chap a pat on the back instead. Everything on here at time's always gets blames on the woman,because of course it was the wife's fault in the first place for not giving out,then it's the other woman's fault for not knowing he was married.

Bloody hell let's give that poor bloke a medal for not taking any responsibility whatsoever.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Fuck him and scratch his back. This is ALWAYS guaranteed to give an attached man kittens.

Then you’ll soon know whether him and his wife actually do share a bed/have sex.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Bin him.

He’s lied to you. He’s lying to her.

He’s not a catch. He’s deceitful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

To let her know what a shit she has for a husband a woman scorned is a dangerous thing,men beware

.then you get the backlash from a guy whos lost everything has nothing left but vengeance for the woman who out of spite decided to ruin his life just becomes tit for tat then

Dont try dress it up as a service for the wife cos its simply not

Bloody hell let's give that poor bloke a medal for not taking any responsibility whatsoever."

Not saying that as i said if theres issue to be taken its with him by all means take it out on him but his mrs and possible kids have done nothing wrong at all its as bad as jamie oliver making school kids eat veg this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

To let her know what a shit she has for a husband a woman scorned is a dangerous thing,men beware

.then you get the backlash from a guy whos lost everything has nothing left but vengeance for the woman who out of spite decided to ruin his life just becomes tit for tat then

Dont try dress it up as a service for the wife cos its simply not

Bloody hell let's give that poor bloke a medal for not taking any responsibility whatsoever.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

To let her know what a shit she has for a husband a woman scorned is a dangerous thing,men beware

.then you get the backlash from a guy whos lost everything has nothing left but vengeance for the woman who out of spite decided to ruin his life just becomes tit for tat then

Dont try dress it up as a service for the wife cos its simply not

Bloody hell let's give that poor bloke a medal for not taking any responsibility whatsoever.

Vegetables are wonderful thing's,all kid's should be made to eat them. Kids brought up on vegetables don't grow up to be cheats,fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

To let her know what a shit she has for a husband a woman scorned is a dangerous thing,men beware

.then you get the backlash from a guy whos lost everything has nothing left but vengeance for the woman who out of spite decided to ruin his life just becomes tit for tat then

Dont try dress it up as a service for the wife cos its simply not

Bloody hell let's give that poor bloke a medal for not taking any responsibility whatsoever.

Vegetables are wonderful thing's,all kid's should be made to eat them. Kids brought up on vegetables don't grow up to be cheats,fact

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?"

Erm hang on they told me!! I had no idea.

How about if I killed myself because of it too seriously he played two women I’m as innocent as her in this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

Erm hang on they told me!! I had no idea.

How about if I killed myself because of it too seriously he played two women I’m as innocent as her in this. "
yes you are totally until u tell his mrs thats all im saying stay innocent

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By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

"Fuck him and scratch his back. This is ALWAYS guaranteed to give an attached man kittens.

Then you’ll soon know whether him and his wife actually do share a bed/have sex.

hahahahahahahaha......evil that Luna....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

Erm hang on they told me!! I had no idea.

How about if I killed myself because of it too seriously he played two women I’m as innocent as her in this. yes you are totally until u tell his mrs thats all im saying stay innocent "

I won’t need to tell her, the military is a small circle In this area.

He’s been told to tell her before the jungle drums do.

I feel sorry for her...... least I can walk away easy enough she can’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone agrees you are innocent in this. You say you have been seeing him a few months and for some of that he has been posted away, I take it you don’t live together or know very much about him or his family. Let’s all be real here this is a sex site, you are unlikely tofu d a life partner in here and most people will have secrets or parts of their life they want to escape. As many have said walk away with your head held high. If this got nasty and he decided to tell your work and friends that you were in a swingers site then I am sure that would also hurt .

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Fuck him and scratch his back. This is ALWAYS guaranteed to give an attached man kittens.

Then you’ll soon know whether him and his wife actually do share a bed/have sex.

hahahahahahahaha......evil that Luna....

I know! I didn’t much sleep so i’m a bit feisty this morning!

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"I'm very sorry this happened to you, but walk away. It's the best thing you can do in my opinion"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

Erm hang on they told me!! I had no idea.

How about if I killed myself because of it too seriously he played two women I’m as innocent as her in this. yes you are totally until u tell his mrs thats all im saying stay innocent

I won’t need to tell her, the military is a small circle In this area.

He’s been told to tell her before the jungle drums do.

I feel sorry for her...... least I can walk away easy enough she can’t. "
well its all a shame is all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not one person has suggested talking to him about it. Marriage may be over but can't afford to split the house, or when on base share responsibilty for kids but otherwise separated etc.

Or he could be a scumbag who needs ditching and a big red A tattooed on his forehead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

She's posting where? On here or Facebook?

Is he a good shag?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think everyone agrees you are innocent in this. You say you have been seeing him a few months and for some of that he has been posted away, I take it you don’t live together or know very much about him or his family. Let’s all be real here this is a sex site, you are unlikely tofu d a life partner in here and most people will have secrets or parts of their life they want to escape. As many have said walk away with your head held high. If this got nasty and he decided to tell your work and friends that you were in a swingers site then I am sure that would also hurt ."

I know loads about his family etc I’m planning on moving to Spain he had plans to continue seeing me when I move as his mum lives there part the year. The only thing he didn’t mention was a wife. I didn’t meet him on here was a swipe dating site lol but previously years ago we met on here and broke it off but this is going back 6/7 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not one person has suggested talking to him about it. Marriage may be over but can't afford to split the house, or when on base share responsibilty for kids but otherwise separated etc.

Or he could be a scumbag who needs ditching and a big red A tattooed on his forehead."
yes i did as did ignite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk away. How does it benefit you to tell his wife and potentially ruin the lives of children? I have no respect for men who aren’t upfront about their marital situation but I equally have no respect for women who feel the need to do this either.

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"Walk away. How does it benefit you to tell his wife and potentially ruin the lives of children? I have no respect for men who aren’t upfront about their marital situation but I equally have no respect for women who feel the need to do this either. "

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Let it be, be the bigger person and walk away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

She's posting where? On here or Facebook?

Is he a good shag?"

Awesome shag best I’ve ever had lol

She’s not posting here it’s on fb, I got a text Saturday at a wedding saying he was back my face lit up and the lads asked me why so I told them. One then said I know him I think he’s married my face dropped, I was told to leave it and plied with vodka to forget it till I was sober enough to think about it.

I’ve played him along since then and the person who told me along with myself did some digging.

His loss, he’s texting me wants to call told him not to bother I’m done and he needs to tell her before someone else does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

She's posting where? On here or Facebook?

Is he a good shag?

Awesome shag best I’ve ever had lol

I’ve played him along since then and the person who told me along with myself did some digging.

His loss, he’s texting me wants to call told him not to bother I’m done and he needs to tell her before someone else does. "

The marriage may be over. No harm in talking, although he will lie.

You will get the flack and the blame. Bullshit but true. X

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

She's posting where? On here or Facebook?

Is he a good shag?

Awesome shag best I’ve ever had lol

I’ve played him along since then and the person who told me along with myself did some digging.

His loss, he’s texting me wants to call told him not to bother I’m done and he needs to tell her before someone else does. "

So is he married or does your friend just think he is?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

She's posting where? On here or Facebook?

Is he a good shag?

Awesome shag best I’ve ever had lol

I’ve played him along since then and the person who told me along with myself did some digging.

His loss, he’s texting me wants to call told him not to bother I’m done and he needs to tell her before someone else does. "

It might not be the first time he’s done it. It might be something she knows he does but as long as he stays with her she turns the other cheek.

I think it’s best to just move on and chalk it up to experience.

It’s shitty, it’s wrong, but he’s not your problem and you can find someone else.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Be careful then if you don't want people knowing you're on here as that may come out as well,especially if as you say you live in a small community.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

Erm hang on they told me!! I had no idea.

How about if I killed myself because of it too seriously he played two women I’m as innocent as her in this. yes you are totally until u tell his mrs thats all im saying stay innocent

I won’t need to tell her, the military is a small circle In this area.

He’s been told to tell her before the jungle drums do.

I feel sorry for her...... least I can walk away easy enough she can’t. "

On the military part, you could also risk his livelihood if you tell. By the sounds of it there are others inside the military that already know

If it’s such a small world where you are and others know, then yes she may found out another way. Do you really want to be the one to do it and wreck her world ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been cheated on before by a long term partner I'd much rather someone had told me beforehand so I could make my own decision, rather than having had the breakup dressed up as something else by her and finding out on my own later

I know it may not be the exact same situation as the OP, as there's a marriage and potentially kids involved but that's my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be? "

If he was my husband, I would want to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been the wife sat home thinking I was married to a diamond. Found out he was a lying piece of shit. I’m very pleased someone told me. If you’re doing it for revenge on him I would say anything but if you actually have consideration for his wife and had no clue then please tell her. The truth always comes out eventually and at least by telling her, it shows you were also betrayed by him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been the wife sat home thinking I was married to a diamond. Found out he was a lying piece of shit. I’m very pleased someone told me. If you’re doing it for revenge on him I would say anything but if you actually have consideration for his wife and had no clue then please tell her. The truth always comes out eventually and at least by telling her, it shows you were also betrayed by him

Im angry he’s lied to us both.....

It’s not fair on her or me but he said he got In too deep etc but he should have thought about that.

I feel so sorry for her.....

I’ve told him to tell her before I do it’s his choice now...

I don’t think I would tell her like others have said is it fair to hurt her and me be made to look bad.

She will find out...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Organise the last meet...but dont actually go. He will understand. Just walk away...and NEVER come back. Completely cancel him from your life. I know you deserve closure...but you had it when he lied to you. Go get urself an ice cream, baby its hot outside

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Organise the last meet...but dont actually go. He will understand. Just walk away...and NEVER come back. Completely cancel him from your life. I know you deserve closure...but you had it when he lied to you. Go get urself an ice cream, baby its hot outside

Good luck OP "

Dam was gonna do what another lady said meet him fuck him and leave my mark on him ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmm I've said twice, walk away, but thinking about it a bit more if it was my hubby I'd want to know, I'd like to be told in a non aggressive way, but I'd definitely want to know so I could fuck him up then walk away!!!

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Im angry he’s lied to us both.....

It’s not fair on her or me but he said he got In too deep etc but he should have thought about that.

I feel so sorry for her.....

I’ve told him to tell her before I do it’s his choice now...

I don’t think I would tell her like others have said is it fair to hurt her and me be made to look bad.

She will find out...

You see this is where I'm conflicted. Once upon a time my ex husband was told by his 'young tart on the sides' boyfriend when he found messages on her phone from my ex,"tell your wife or I will!" That's why my ex admitted to what had gone on,it had 'apparently' ended the month before.

Now do I resent that he said that after our small family was destroyed,yeah I think I do...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im angry he’s lied to us both.....

It’s not fair on her or me but he said he got In too deep etc but he should have thought about that.

I feel so sorry for her.....

I’ve told him to tell her before I do it’s his choice now...

I don’t think I would tell her like others have said is it fair to hurt her and me be made to look bad.

She will find out...

Now do I resent that he said that after our small family was destroyed,yeah I think I do... "

He knows how I feel about cheaters we had spoken about it he agreed, which now is quite funny to be honest.

For every action there is a consequence he did this he now has to deal with it.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Im angry he’s lied to us both.....

It’s not fair on her or me but he said he got In too deep etc but he should have thought about that.

I feel so sorry for her.....

I’ve told him to tell her before I do it’s his choice now...

I don’t think I would tell her like others have said is it fair to hurt her and me be made to look bad.

She will find out...

Now do I resent that he said that after our small family was destroyed,yeah I think I do...

He knows how I feel about cheaters we had spoken about it he agreed, which now is quite funny to be honest.

For every action there is a consequence he did this he now has to deal with it.

Just walk away so you have no further regrets down the line

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Im angry he’s lied to us both.....

It’s not fair on her or me but he said he got In too deep etc but he should have thought about that.

I feel so sorry for her.....

I’ve told him to tell her before I do it’s his choice now...

I don’t think I would tell her like others have said is it fair to hurt her and me be made to look bad.

She will find out...

Now do I resent that he said that after our small family was destroyed,yeah I think I do...

He knows how I feel about cheaters we had spoken about it he agreed, which now is quite funny to be honest.

For every action there is a consequence he did this he now has to deal with it.

Indeed, as the saying goes " it's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be? "

Fuck the pain away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck OP

Dam was gonna do what another lady said meet him fuck him and leave my mark on him ha ha "

Or that...

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Personally I would just walk away and leave him to it, for all you know he might be a repeat offender, leave them to it, let them work it out together, it’s their marriage even if it’s not a good one that it’s their business not yours.

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By *ieandteaseMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

Nice friends you have who let you walk into this one knowing him.

The situation seems to be out of your hands now so just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

Nice friends you have who let you walk into this one knowing him.

The situation seems to be out of your hands now so just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. "

The person who told me is a friend of a friend. Only the second time I met him was Saturday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Second thought, play the long game, keep seeing him getting ever more romantic. Get him to marry you and pay for a great honeymoon, then have him arrested for bigamy at the airport have a great holiday and sip your cocktail by the pool with that revenge sorted smile

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Im angry he’s lied to us both.....

It’s not fair on her or me but he said he got In too deep etc but he should have thought about that.

I feel so sorry for her.....

I’ve told him to tell her before I do it’s his choice now...

I don’t think I would tell her like others have said is it fair to hurt her and me be made to look bad.

She will find out...

Now do I resent that he said that after our small family was destroyed,yeah I think I do...

He knows how I feel about cheaters we had spoken about it he agreed, which now is quite funny to be honest.

For every action there is a consequence he did this he now has to deal with it.

So long as you bare that last sentence in mind if you do decide to tell his wife,regrets are not good to carry around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im angry he’s lied to us both.....

It’s not fair on her or me but he said he got In too deep etc but he should have thought about that.

I feel so sorry for her.....

I’ve told him to tell her before I do it’s his choice now...

I don’t think I would tell her like others have said is it fair to hurt her and me be made to look bad.

She will find out...

Now do I resent that he said that after our small family was destroyed,yeah I think I do...

He knows how I feel about cheaters we had spoken about it he agreed, which now is quite funny to be honest.

For every action there is a consequence he did this he now has to deal with it.

Indeed, as the saying goes " it's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits".

thats hilarious

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Im angry he’s lied to us both.....

It’s not fair on her or me but he said he got In too deep etc but he should have thought about that.

I feel so sorry for her.....

I’ve told him to tell her before I do it’s his choice now...

I don’t think I would tell her like others have said is it fair to hurt her and me be made to look bad.

She will find out...

Now do I resent that he said that after our small family was destroyed,yeah I think I do...

He knows how I feel about cheaters we had spoken about it he agreed, which now is quite funny to be honest.

For every action there is a consequence he did this he now has to deal with it.

Just walk away so you have no further regrets down the line"

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Second thought, play the long game, keep seeing him getting ever more romantic. Get him to marry you and pay for a great honeymoon, then have him arrested for bigamy at the airport have a great holiday and sip your cocktail by the pool with that revenge sorted smile

That’s how they do it in the movies

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Just walk away.

All the Bunny Boiling talk is ugly stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't do anything rash OP,it's not his wife's fault do you really want her to be feeling the way you are now?walk away and keep your dignity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmmm I've said twice, walk away, but thinking about it a bit more if it was my hubby I'd want to know, I'd like to be told in a non aggressive way, but I'd definitely want to know so I could fuck him up then walk away!!!"

I was the wife in this scenario a few years ago. No one told me and lots knew. That part really hurt me.

I’d want to know, OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she not deserve to know, it might be the bitchy thing to do but she deserves better than him and needs to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does she not deserve to know, it might be the bitchy thing to do but she deserves better than him and needs to know.

We will all have different opinions on this,it ruined my youngest sons life when he found out that the Dad he adored was a lying cheating scumbag ( his words not mine) and ten plus years later he still doesn't speak to his Dad

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Does she not deserve to know, it might be the bitchy thing to do but she deserves better than him and needs to know.

I wouldn’t want to be the one who broke anyone’s marriage up especially when you can just stop all contact and now, in the end the “other woman” usually bears the brunt of it, I would just leave them alone, if he confesses his affair/affairs to his wife that is for them to deal with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does she not deserve to know, it might be the bitchy thing to do but she deserves better than him and needs to know.

I’ve lived with my father doing that and me finding him as a child kissing another woman hence my feelings on cheating.

I personally would want to know that way I could make an informed choice to end or continue.

It’s easy for people to say don’t say anything but unless their in the situation or been through it the advice is pointless.

I don’t want to break someone’s heart or tear a family apart but it’s his problem he should have thought about that when he developed old feelings again and lied to both his wife and me.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Does she not deserve to know, it might be the bitchy thing to do but she deserves better than him and needs to know.

I’ve lived with my father doing that and me finding him as a child kissing another woman hence my feelings on cheating.

I personally would want to know that way I could make an informed choice to end or continue.

It’s easy for people to say don’t say anything but unless their in the situation or been through it the advice is pointless.

I don’t want to break someone’s heart or tear a family apart but it’s his problem he should have thought about that when he developed old feelings again and lied to both his wife and me. "

I have been through it, for 5 years and then one day I just stopped, I left him to it and in the end she actually cheated on him but that’s another story, at no point did I feel like contacting her, other people’s marriages and how they run them are not my business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This my friends is why it's best to stick to 'nsa'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does she not deserve to know, it might be the bitchy thing to do but she deserves better than him and needs to know.

How do you know all this based on one person's view? We know fuck all about the situation.

Some really scary blinkered and bitter people on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just walk away.

All the Bunny Boiling talk is ugly stuff. "

My thoughts exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does she not deserve to know, it might be the bitchy thing to do but she deserves better than him and needs to know.

How do you know all this based on one person's view? We know fuck all about the situation.

Some really scary blinkered and bitter people on here.

"
bitter is the word but many people men and women end up here because of a partner cheating

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I bet if I do a forum search this has been covered before..

Only one side of a story and the fab forum judge and jury have passed guilty.

It seems you'd decided on a course before you posted op.. there were posts saying walk away and then you posted you'd messaged him anyway.

If jezza hadn't been binned I could see a show being made ..

Do what you will op, from my reading you just wanted validation for your actions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

She's asking for help it's not weird. If I was her I'd be pissed off immensely and hunt him down to castrate the fucker,but I know thats probably not the best thing to do."

I'm only a man, so make allowances, but am I missing something?

Was this some meaningful relationship outwith fab? Otherwise, I thought, maybe wrongly, that fab was about sex, not eternity, so what's the biggie?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

Two wrongs don't make a right."

Mum? Is that you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does she not deserve to know, it might be the bitchy thing to do but she deserves better than him and needs to know.

I’ve lived with my father doing that and me finding him as a child kissing another woman hence my feelings on cheating.

I personally would want to know that way I could make an informed choice to end or continue.

It’s easy for people to say don’t say anything but unless their in the situation or been through it the advice is pointless.

I don’t want to break someone’s heart or tear a family apart but it’s his problem he should have thought about that when he developed old feelings again and lied to both his wife and me. "

You're now being the judgey one, you'll do what you'll do but for me you're no better than he is, for wanting to cause drama, you didn't cheat so why should you feel the need to tell all, let him be his own downfall, be the better person not the crazy woman that causes undo pain to a stranger, who already lives with a nob.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bin him and stay out of it

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?"

How will that be on her head. He's the one who has lied and cheated. Why are you placing all of the blame at the OP's door?

If you were with someone who cheated on you and you found out someone could have told you sooner rather than later, wouldn't you be upset that they didn't?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

She's asking for help it's not weird. If I was her I'd be pissed off immensely and hunt him down to castrate the fucker,but I know thats probably not the best thing to do.

I'm only a man, so make allowances, but am I missing something?

Was this some meaningful relationship outwith fab? Otherwise, I thought, maybe wrongly, that fab was about sex, not eternity, so what's the biggie?"

Fab is about anything you want it to be. For some that means it's about deceit and messing with people's emotions. And for others it's about defending their right to do so without consequences it would seem

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I was in your shoes but for a lot longer. I forgave and trusted his promises of leaving her etc.

I never considered telling her, not even when we split up (after finding out there was another other woman, who I did message but again didn't say he was with me). Bug I did resolve myself to tell the truth should they get in touch with me in the future.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How will that be on her head. He's the one who has lied and cheated. Why are you placing all of the blame at the OP's door?

If you were with someone who cheated on you and you found out someone could have told you sooner rather than later, wouldn't you be upset that they didn't?"

Quite funny how some in the forum are placing blame on me when I genuinely had no idea till today he was married.

But that’s typical of people really.

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be? "

You haven't given any details as to what sort of arrangement you had in place.

I would let him know that I know and move on with my life

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

As tempting as it is to throw the bomb in... don't do it. It only prolongs the hurt. Head up chest out and walk away with whatever dignity he left you with.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How will that be on her head. He's the one who has lied and cheated. Why are you placing all of the blame at the OP's door?

If you were with someone who cheated on you and you found out someone could have told you sooner rather than later, wouldn't you be upset that they didn't?"

As i said further down op is also a victim until she puts herself in a situation wheres shes not

As for the rest personally ignorance is bliss why would i want to feel upset or suspicious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be?

You haven't given any details as to what sort of arrangement you had in place.

I would let him know that I know and move on with my life"

Arrangement? We were seeing each other dating and having sex.

Planning things to do when he came back like going away for the weekend etc even spoke about going to his parents house in Spain for a few days.

He is well aware I now know

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How will that be on her head. He's the one who has lied and cheated. Why are you placing all of the blame at the OP's door?

If you were with someone who cheated on you and you found out someone could have told you sooner rather than later, wouldn't you be upset that they didn't?

As i said further down op is also a victim until she puts herself in a situation wheres shes not

As for the rest personally ignorance is bliss why would i want to feel upset or suspicious "

Why would you want to live in ignorance with someone who clearly has no respect for you? Who lies to you daily? Who potentially risks your health through sleeping with other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How will that be on her head. He's the one who has lied and cheated. Why are you placing all of the blame at the OP's door?

If you were with someone who cheated on you and you found out someone could have told you sooner rather than later, wouldn't you be upset that they didn't?

As i said further down op is also a victim until she puts herself in a situation wheres shes not

As for the rest personally ignorance is bliss why would i want to feel upset or suspicious

Why would you want to live in ignorance with someone who clearly has no respect for you? Who lies to you daily? Who potentially risks your health through sleeping with other people. "
because i like my happy bubble its not about respect as for lies im a salesman i do it for a job people lie for all kinds of reasons hell iv got kids all they do is say it wasnt me dad lol thats just life

Where as if i found out as i had in the past prev marriage thats when i lose my shit and things get sketchy so as i said ignorance is bliss much better for all involved tbh id me more likely to shoot the messenger anyway

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth "

Yes but you’d rather that be a friend than the woman he’d been sleeping with ?

For me I always knew, they are so damn easy to read and not as clever as they think, liars always get caught by their own words. There was no reason for me to involve anyone else. My beef was never with the other woman as had no idea what had been said to them, it was always with the man who made that choice / decision to cheat.

OP you are obviously hurting and I hate to be so blunt but you are the other person in this scenario, so leave them to sort out their issues and you get on with your life and chalk it up as lesson learnt.... men will say almost anything, it’s whether you believe them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth "

I totally agree, and felt the same. I was deeply hurt that so many people knew and turned a blind eye. Some of whom were supposed to be close friends.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth

Yes but you’d rather that be a friend than the woman he’d been sleeping with ?

No i would have welcomed the woman he wss sleeping with. This is why they get away with it.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How will that be on her head. He's the one who has lied and cheated. Why are you placing all of the blame at the OP's door?

If you were with someone who cheated on you and you found out someone could have told you sooner rather than later, wouldn't you be upset that they didn't?

As i said further down op is also a victim until she puts herself in a situation wheres shes not

As for the rest personally ignorance is bliss why would i want to feel upset or suspicious

Why would you want to live in ignorance with someone who clearly has no respect for you? Who lies to you daily? Who potentially risks your health through sleeping with other people. because i like my happy bubble its not about respect as for lies im a salesman i do it for a job people lie for all kinds of reasons hell iv got kids all they do is say it wasnt me dad lol thats just life

There are lies and there are lies though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth "

Definitely! Both me and my wife have been cheated on in past relationships and in both cases people knew and didn't come forward for quite some time. If they had told us earlier when they first found out it would have saved some of the eventual heartache. When you have been cheated on finding out that others knew but said nothing just causes further upsetment.

I can't help but wonder are some (not all) of the people (shockingly the majority in this thread) who are saying don't say anything are taking that stance because they themselves are on this site as cheaters? I'd wager at least some are.

KJ x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" When you have been cheated on finding out that others knew but said nothing just causes further upsetment.

Are you including the person they cheated with in that? Would you have wanted them coming forward?

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be? "

Don't message the wife, ever! Just block and forget him.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth

KJ x

If the op doesn't know the wife then it will only cause more issues for the op and she's actually done nothing wrong.

Completely single here BTW.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

" When you have been cheated on finding out that others knew but said nothing just causes further upsetment.

Are you including the person they cheated with in that? Would you have wanted them coming forward? "
if they had been duped and they found out... then yes.. yes i would. In my case those cheating with him knew and even laughed about it. The others he had told i was some psycho he fucked occasionally

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Why u trying to get in the middle of it

Weird question

She's asking for help it's not weird. If I was her I'd be pissed off immensely and hunt him down to castrate the fucker,but I know thats probably not the best thing to do.

I'm only a man, so make allowances, but am I missing something?

Was this some meaningful relationship outwith fab? Otherwise, I thought, maybe wrongly, that fab was about sex, not eternity, so what's the biggie?"

I think it's irrelevant whether it was a meaningful relationship or a shack up,the op was under the illusion he was single so isn't happy being lied to maybe she did want more and it wasn't just sex I don't know.

I can only speak for myself but it's very important to my moral compass I don't have sex with a married cheating man,whether I have unknowingly in the past is another thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally We would tell her u dont owe him anything but she deserves the truth I'd rather be told rather than be lied to yes she will be pissed about it and may give u sum shit but at least ur mind will be gilt free x ps op u have nothing to fill bad about u have been played just like her x

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth

Yes but you’d rather that be a friend than the woman he’d been sleeping with?

No i would have welcomed the woman he wss sleeping with. This is why they get away with it. "

Welcomed ? Really ?? The person that is sleeping with your partner / husband, you would welcome them to tell you she is having an affair with him.

Only reason a woman would tell the other, is because she wants him all to herself and in my eyes would be a prize bitch for doing as only there to cause pain to you !

Everyone has their own opinions, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to sit on my hands across from a few of them !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" When you have been cheated on finding out that others knew but said nothing just causes further upsetment.

Are you including the person they cheated with in that? Would you have wanted them coming forward? "

If they had also been lied to and came to us when they found out then absolutely yes.

My wife's ex was cheating with her friend who was also in a relationship with another of her friends. When my wife was told / found out the partner of the person who was sleeping with my wifes partner was also my wifes friend and equally had no clue. My wife told him straight away as he also deserved to know he was been cheated on. He decide to forgive his partner in the end (my wife got rid of hers) at no point did he blame my wife for telling him as she a, did it as soon as she found out and b, they were both innocent victims.

KJ x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

been in both situations .....

was in same position 18 years ago and he was a squaddie! i was led to believe separated but pretending to be happy so kids not removed from boarding school. it all blew up. turns out i was number 11.

i did get crap from wifes brother until i pointed out i was a single woman. he was the person who made the vows to his sister and lied to everyone

i then married a squaddie who cheated throughout our marriage even with my friend.

i wish someone had the guts to tell me because getting out would have been so much easier than living with years of suspicion and being told it was in my head/i was mad.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth

Yes but you’d rather that be a friend than the woman he’d been sleeping with?

No i would have welcomed the woman he wss sleeping with. This is why they get away with it.

Welcomed ? Really ?? The person that is sleeping with your partner / husband, you would welcome them to tell you she is having an affair with him.

Only reason a woman would tell the other, is because she wants him all to herself and in my eyes would be a prize bitch for doing as only there to cause pain to you !

Everyone has their own opinions, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to sit on my hands across from a few of them !! "
yes really. If they had been lied too aswel. How is it their fault??

But if they didn't tell me then it would keep happening

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

[Removed by poster at 20/08/19 13:38:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be? "

I agree with those who have said walk away with dignity and with your head held high. By all means make no secret of your disgust of him but keep it as simple, direct and calm as you can. In regard to his wife, you don't know the reasons and for you if you don't know them then best not to interfere. There could be children involved and you could be doing more damage than good.

Good luck OP - he's a shit for not telling your for sure

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth

Yes but you’d rather that be a friend than the woman he’d been sleeping with?

No i would have welcomed the woman he wss sleeping with. This is why they get away with it.

Welcomed ? Really ?? The person that is sleeping with your partner / husband, you would welcome them to tell you she is having an affair with him.

Only reason a woman would tell the other, is because she wants him all to herself and in my eyes would be a prize bitch for doing as only there to cause pain to you !

Everyone has their own opinions, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to sit on my hands across from a few of them !! yes really.

If they had been lied too aswel. How is it their fault??

But if they didn't tell me then it would keep happening "

Let’s say most know exactly what they are walking into and there are no lies to them, except maybe “I’ll leave her soon, just not the right time”

As I said everyone has different opinions and experiences, so will deal with it differently

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How will that be on her head. He's the one who has lied and cheated. Why are you placing all of the blame at the OP's door?

If you were with someone who cheated on you and you found out someone could have told you sooner rather than later, wouldn't you be upset that they didn't?

Quite funny how some in the forum are placing blame on me when I genuinely had no idea till today he was married.

But that’s typical of people really. "

No one is placing the blame on you, the majority of us are saying for gods sake don’t pass your hurt onto a woman who doesn’t deserve it, keep your hurt for the man who put you in this position and fuck him right off out of your life now.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How will that be on her head. He's the one who has lied and cheated. Why are you placing all of the blame at the OP's door?

If you were with someone who cheated on you and you found out someone could have told you sooner rather than later, wouldn't you be upset that they didn't?

Quite funny how some in the forum are placing blame on me when I genuinely had no idea till today he was married.

But that’s typical of people really.

This ^

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can assure you I had no idea till someone over the weekend suggested he was married, they did some digging and contacted me this morning after I also did some digging.

I had stopped meeting others at his request when he went away.

We had plans when he got back to go away for the weekend in a couple of weeks time.

He had suggested going to his mothers in Spain for a few days together......the suggestion was also to continue seeing each other if I moved to Spain and he would fly over.

Why would I plan that if I had any inkling he was married?

He would be gone without hesitation

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth

Yes but you’d rather that be a friend than the woman he’d been sleeping with?

No i would have welcomed the woman he wss sleeping with. This is why they get away with it.

Welcomed ? Really ?? The person that is sleeping with your partner / husband, you would welcome them to tell you she is having an affair with him.

Only reason a woman would tell the other, is because she wants him all to herself and in my eyes would be a prize bitch for doing as only there to cause pain to you !

Everyone has their own opinions, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to sit on my hands across from a few of them !! yes really. If they had been lied too aswel. How is it their fault??

But if they didn't tell me then it would keep happening "

People don’t tell because they don’t want to be responsible for the break up of a marriage, believe me the messenger always gets the bullet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How will that be on her head. He's the one who has lied and cheated. Why are you placing all of the blame at the OP's door?

If you were with someone who cheated on you and you found out someone could have told you sooner rather than later, wouldn't you be upset that they didn't?

Quite funny how some in the forum are placing blame on me when I genuinely had no idea till today he was married.

But that’s typical of people really.

This ^

"
this

this

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"I can assure you I had no idea till someone over the weekend suggested he was married, they did some digging and contacted me this morning after I also did some digging.

I had stopped meeting others at his request when he went away.

We had plans when he got back to go away for the weekend in a couple of weeks time.

He had suggested going to his mothers in Spain for a few days together......the suggestion was also to continue seeing each other if I moved to Spain and he would fly over.

Why would I plan that if I had any inkling he was married?

He would be gone without hesitation "

Then don’t hesitate and make him begone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth

Yes but you’d rather that be a friend than the woman he’d been sleeping with?

No i would have welcomed the woman he wss sleeping with. This is why they get away with it.

Welcomed ? Really ?? The person that is sleeping with your partner / husband, you would welcome them to tell you she is having an affair with him.

Only reason a woman would tell the other, is because she wants him all to herself and in my eyes would be a prize bitch for doing as only there to cause pain to you !

Everyone has their own opinions, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to sit on my hands across from a few of them !! yes really. If they had been lied too aswel. How is it their fault??

But if they didn't tell me then it would keep happening

People don’t tell because they don’t want to be responsible for the break up of a marriage, believe me the messenger always gets the bullet. "

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

People don’t tell because they don’t want to be responsible for the break up of a marriage, believe me the messenger always gets the bullet. "
the messenger does not always get the bullet. I think people make excuses to not tell the other wronged party. I heard so many excuses when it all finally came out. I cut off those that didn't tell me.

Op we do all have our own views...so look at it from the other way. If you would want someone to have come to you if you were the wife.... then tell her.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I can assure you I had no idea till someone over the weekend suggested he was married, they did some digging and contacted me this morning after I also did some digging.

I had stopped meeting others at his request when he went away.

We had plans when he got back to go away for the weekend in a couple of weeks time.

He had suggested going to his mothers in Spain for a few days together......the suggestion was also to continue seeing each other if I moved to Spain and he would fly over.

Why would I plan that if I had any inkling he was married?

He would be gone without hesitation "

We are not saying you knew, but now you do, do as you say and get him out of your life

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be?

You haven't given any details as to what sort of arrangement you had in place.

I would let him know that I know and move on with my life

Arrangement? We were seeing each other dating and having sex.

Planning things to do when he came back like going away for the weekend etc even spoke about going to his parents house in Spain for a few days.

He is well aware I now know "

Ah! Understood. Thought it was FB or FWB arrangement.

Yeah, he's a scumbag

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"I hate all these answers of dont tell the partber that is being cheated on.. what hurt me more when my ex cheated on me was the fact that people knew and never told me.

I would have welcomed someone coming to me with the truth

KJ x

I'm single but have been in a situation where I was the other person. When her husband found out about it, he attacked me.

Didn't know anything about him. He completely absolved her of cheating on him and turned his attentions to me. Eventually the coppers got involved and it stopped.

I don't need hassle or drama and will always tell people to walk away. Life is too short.

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Dump him and just walk away.

If it’s such a small community she already knows. He’ll also possibly know about any new hotties you take up with. Sometimes living better after is the best revenge and with way more dignity than catfighting in the street. (You don’t know the wife, so don’t rule out any reaction)

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"So been seeing someone for a few months, he was posted overseas and got back a couple of days ago msgd me straight away to say he’s back etc.

Thing is today I’ve found out after all this time he’s married.

So how do I deal with it? Msg his wife or let it be?

You haven't given any details as to what sort of arrangement you had in place.

I would let him know that I know and move on with my life

Arrangement? We were seeing each other dating and having sex.

Planning things to do when he came back like going away for the weekend etc even spoke about going to his parents house in Spain for a few days.

He is well aware I now know

Ah! Understood. Thought it was FB or FWB arrangement.

Yeah, he's a scumbag "
to be fair I'd be pissed off even if that was the case as i dont meet cheating people

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By *inxy777Woman
over a year ago

essex

"Squaddies

Lmfao!

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By *wlseMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire/ Nottinghamshire border

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

How does that make it OP's fault? She was under the impression he was single, the blame is entirely on the cheat. He's the one who's decide to cause the damage.for deciding that shes doing a public service by helping him wreck his family makes her as guily as him then"

So what you’re saying is the cheating husband is perfectly innocent in this and should get away with it and be free to go fuck more women’s heads up??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd stay out of it.

She doesn't know you and it won't end well. I'd tell him he's a piece of shit and walk away. It's easier said than done I know but he won't give two fucks and will move on to the next woman. I'm sorry he lied to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it were your husband or partner would you want to know? I know I would.

If you tell her maybe try doing so anonymously so that the shit doesn't hit YOUR fan specifically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

So what you’re saying is the cheating husband is perfectly innocent in this and should get away with it and be free to go fuck more women’s heads up??"
is that what i said no if u read what i said she would be AS guilty not as in he is guilty too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For those asking would I want to know YES!

No doubt about it and that’s why I make it clear especially on my profile here I don’t meet those in relationships or married.

But I do think he needs to take responsibility for his actions hence why I’ve told him he needs to be the one to tell her.

That way she is free to contact me and find out my side of the story.

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By *wlseMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire/ Nottinghamshire border

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

So what you’re saying is the cheating husband is perfectly innocent in this and should get away with it and be free to go fuck more women’s heads up??is that what i said no if u read what i said she would be AS guilty not as in he is guilty too

Why would she be guilty though?

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By *wlseMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire/ Nottinghamshire border

"For those asking would I want to know YES!

No doubt about it and that’s why I make it clear especially on my profile here I don’t meet those in relationships or married.

But I do think he needs to take responsibility for his actions hence why I’ve told him he needs to be the one to tell her.

That way she is free to contact me and find out my side of the story. "

Exactly. Force him to admit it

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"For those asking would I want to know YES!

No doubt about it and that’s why I make it clear especially on my profile here I don’t meet those in relationships or married.

But I do think he needs to take responsibility for his actions hence why I’ve told him he needs to be the one to tell her.

That way she is free to contact me and find out my side of the story. "

She doesn’t really need to know who you are, just leave them to it, get on with your own life now, you don’t need to be involved with him/them any longer, just leave them alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

Why would she be guilty though?

"
for getting involved in potentially breaking a family now she has full knowledge hes cheating and not cutting bait when its possible to do so never mind the danger element you dont know his wife or what shes capable of

Or how she would react to being confronted with a harsh truth not all girls are girly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

Why would she be guilty though?

for getting involved in potentially breaking a family now she has full knowledge hes cheating and not cutting bait when its possible to do so never mind the danger element you dont know his wife or what shes capable of

Or how she would react to being confronted with a harsh truth not all girls are girly"

Breaking a family up!!! Shame he didn’t fucking think about that when he started seeing me and not being honest.

I couldn’t care less about his family the way he clearly doesn’t.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"For those asking would I want to know YES!

No doubt about it and that’s why I make it clear especially on my profile here I don’t meet those in relationships or married.

But I do think he needs to take responsibility for his actions hence why I’ve told him he needs to be the one to tell her.

That way she is free to contact me and find out my side of the story.

She doesn’t really need to know who you are, just leave them to it, get on with your own life now, you don’t need to be involved with him/them any longer, just leave them alone

If that was gonna happen there wouldn't have been a thread asking for advice, there wouldn't have been texts threatening to tell her..

as a kid I used to watch weekly installments of series.. ..you were always left with a cliffhanger..

watch this space for further updates ..

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"For those asking would I want to know YES!

No doubt about it and that’s why I make it clear especially on my profile here I don’t meet those in relationships or married.

But I do think he needs to take responsibility for his actions hence why I’ve told him he needs to be the one to tell her.

That way she is free to contact me and find out my side of the story. "
I think she will have to much to deal with , without your side of the story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

Why would she be guilty though?

Or how she would react to being confronted with a harsh truth not all girls are girly

Breaking a family up!!! Shame he didn’t fucking think about that when he started seeing me and not being honest.

I couldn’t care less about his family the way he clearly doesn’t. "
so if thats your reaction think what hers will be to the woman who he had an affair with you think your angry do u really want her to track u down u wont know what hes told her about it far too many variables

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Or how she would react to being confronted with a harsh truth not all girls are girly

Breaking a family up!!! Shame he didn’t fucking think about that when he started seeing me and not being honest.

I couldn’t care less about his family the way he clearly doesn’t. "

This is precisely why you shouldn’t be the one to tell her, your anger is clear on how’s he's treated you.... and in your words “I couldn’t care less about his family” so you’re not wanting to tell her so she knows, you’re telling her to wreck him and in the process hurt her

Just think how your feeling, do you really want to be the person responsible for making someone else feel like that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

Why would she be guilty though?

Or how she would react to being confronted with a harsh truth not all girls are girly

Breaking a family up!!! Shame he didn’t fucking think about that when he started seeing me and not being honest.

I couldn’t care less about his family the way he clearly doesn’t. so if thats your reaction think what hers will be to the woman who he had an affair with you think your angry do u really want her to track u down u wont know what hes told her about it far too many variables "
and yes its a shame but facts are facts thats how you will be seen by her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or how she would react to being confronted with a harsh truth not all girls are girly

Breaking a family up!!! Shame he didn’t fucking think about that when he started seeing me and not being honest.

I couldn’t care less about his family the way he clearly doesn’t.

Just think how your feeling, do you really want to be the person responsible for making someone else feel like that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No point the wife getting hurt she hasn't done anything.

Walk away lesson learned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How dare he treat two people like this?

His poor wife posting he’s the best husband in the world little does she know hey........

I’ve sent him a msg he will be shitting it now I’m going to let him stew on the msg and thought of me telling her!.

It will get back to her even if it’s not from me he’s in the same camp as my friends who know him.

discretion at its best right there

so lets say she kills herself over it how u gonna feel if that happens all cos you told a friend?

Why would she be guilty though?

Or how she would react to being confronted with a harsh truth not all girls are girly

Breaking a family up!!! Shame he didn’t fucking think about that when he started seeing me and not being honest.

I couldn’t care less about his family the way he clearly doesn’t. "

Please don’t tell if it’s for revenge on him and not actually concern for the wife. Her world is going to be turned upside down. As I said, I was that wife and I’m pleased I was told. When I was It wasn’t malicious it was to prevent further embarrassment and hurt to myself and children.

There are no winners in this sadly. Whilst you’re still angry don’t do anything that you may regret later. It’s always best to reflect and think first

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By *ustfun001Man
over a year ago

East Sussex

So ill play devils advocate..... I agree the wife shouldn't get hurt she hasnt done anything wrong. Buuuuuut doesnt she have a right to know? he could be playing a few woman simultaneously!

She might be able to move on with her life now, there might be a real love story in her future.. if she doesnt find out for another 20 years where does that leave her?

I personally feel its massively unfair that she doesn't know....

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

There are only ever two choices in life what a person can do or what a person can't do.

He made his choice, you make yours.

Just remember once you have made your choice you have to live with that and any fall out.

I would recommend getting tested as if he was cheating on his wife, how likely is it that you were the only one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So ill play devils advocate..... I agree the wife shouldn't get hurt she hasnt done anything wrong. Buuuuuut doesnt she have a right to know? he could be playing a few woman simultaneously!

She might be able to move on with her life now, there might be a real love story in her future.. if she doesnt find out for another 20 years where does that leave her?

I personally feel its massively unfair that she doesn't know.... "

Exactly this. I was with my ex for nearly 20years. I’m pleased that I’m now living my life for me and not wasting another 20 with a piece of shit

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"So ill play devils advocate..... I agree the wife shouldn't get hurt she hasnt done anything wrong. Buuuuuut doesnt she have a right to know? he could be playing a few woman simultaneously!

She might be able to move on with her life now, there might be a real love story in her future.. if she doesnt find out for another 20 years where does that leave her?

I personally feel its massively unfair that she doesn't know.... "
..

I agree, but it's not nessasarily the other womans job to tell her.

If she was a friend or relative that is a different matter. But as the other woman you have no idea what the married ladies reaction will be. Emotions may put her at risk.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I would want to know, but if the 'other' women told me maliciously, she would regret doing so that's for sure.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

THE END

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This will go pear shaped for the OP. Revenge is all that's in her crossed hairs. Army, closed circle, gossip and she thinks she's not got involved? Best of luck OP as your clearly not listening to the right wisdom on this.

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