FabSwingers.com forum: Loving yourself

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't mean wanking!

Threads about loving different body types. Gets me thinking about self acceptance. How do you learn to accept yourself as you are? Whatever shape or size you are?

I know it's a long fought battle for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent question

I’m still struggling with it now .... I don’t think any amount of weight I lose will change that either.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Excellent question

I’m still struggling with it now .... I don’t think any amount of weight I lose will change that either.

I started to accept myself last year. I've been bigger and smaller as an adult. The self acceptance thing is independent of size.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Excellent question

I’m still struggling with it now .... I don’t think any amount of weight I lose will change that either.

I started to accept myself last year. I've been bigger and smaller as an adult. The self acceptance thing is independent of size. "

Absolutely!!

It’s a working process with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It hard to do, even more so with all the social standards of what is “sexy” and other stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once I excepted I was ginger and not Arizona sunset it was very liberating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My approach is slightly different, I still don't like myself and am going to the gym to correct that.

However in my mind, appearance isn't as important as personality so I work on improving that equally with appearance. Hopefully that makes sense to others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tough one, my inner dialogue when looking in the mirror is one half berating myself for not fitting into something, the other half is telling myself to shut up and that I look fine.

Acceptance definitely gets easier with age, care less as I get older.

Mrs here.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

A few years back I had a flurry of bad things happen to me and my family and it just made me realise that life really is too short to waste it worrying about a dress size, or what other people think of your size. You only get one life, you need to live it, make the most of every day.

Obviously if there is something that someone is not happy with about themself, then change it, but I had spent most of my life yo yo dieting and making myself miserable. And for what?

Enough was enough. I accepted my body shape. And got on living.

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall

I have always accepted myself for what I am... it's others that seem to have the problem...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I need to get fitter but I've been working hard to accept myself as I am now and I'm learning to love/like who I am

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Excellent question

I’m still struggling with it now .... I don’t think any amount of weight I lose will change that either.

I started to accept myself last year. I've been bigger and smaller as an adult. The self acceptance thing is independent of size.

Absolutely!!

It’s a working process with me

For me it was a psychological thing, not a physical thing. I think I have the groundwork to be happy bigger and smaller now. I certainly am unbothered by people criticising me for my body now. I still have hangups, but they're better, and they're mine.

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London

I've finally accepted my body as to how I wanted it to be. Possibly about 2 and half years hard graft considering my diet was atrocious. I was overweight with a belly developing and had to make a radical change otherwise I'd be condemned. Won't take much, lile anything, to shift back but helped now by good habits. Now to get off the coffee! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it starts with stopping questioning and analysing everything you've done wrong (mainly in other peoples eyes or by other peoples standards) but by celebrating the things you've done right.

Small victories.

When you realise the world or people have been unkind to you, but you're still a good human, well, self love starts there.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think it starts with stopping questioning and analysing everything you've done wrong (mainly in other peoples eyes or by other peoples standards) but by celebrating the things you've done right.

Small victories.

When you realise the world or people have been unkind to you, but you're still a good human, well, self love starts there.

Yes. Yes yes yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/08/19 19:18:22]

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London

"I know I need to get fitter but I've been working hard to accept myself as I am now and I'm learning to love/like who I am

I think v. important to love yourself so you can share tjat love with others. Egotism is bizarrely seen as a negative trait but I believ it's the personality which makes others like us.

I'd much rather love myself as I am now than the person I was 3/4 years back. So, I'd say get on that journey to the person you want to be and if it involves getting fitter, then by all means go forth and do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have always accepted myself for what I am... it's others that seem to have the problem... "

And quite rightly so ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have always accepted myself for what I am... it's others that seem to have the problem...

And quite rightly so ? "

Sorry that? Should of been a heart! Xx

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I learned to love myself despite a big health issue that meant I couldn't work out.

I am enough as I am. I am doing the best I can. Even if other people don't think so.

I think it's a more sustainable way of accepting yourself than a BMI, a running goal, or that sort of thing.

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Butlins, Bognor Regis

I've come to terms with middle age and a crap body. I just don't like myself, full of self doubt

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By *adylydfordWoman
over a year ago

altinkum

Yeh... still a work in progress.. i dont give a toss about what people thinkn of me or my opunions or lifestyle. If they dont like me its their problem. I do however still hate my weight for myself. Im too short. Im 5 foot 3 and 13 stone wich is 3 stone overweigt for my height. I dont like it bit dont love myself enough to change it.

Im prolly boarderline depressed after my mum died and my husband left me. Im also getting evicted and have to work 2 jobs to pay bills so its all mentally taking the toll making me not want to do anything at all on my little time off i have. Also im an emotional eater so thats going well! Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy every morning because I wake up and don't really think about it ... just live life as it's the only chance I have and I love it all!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Don't think I am being pretentious or facetious, but I don't think I have ever suffered from bodily confidence issues.

My main issues have been growing up in a completely different environment then moving here and just not fitting in, that has been my main problem over the years.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

It took the world to fall apart first but knowing myself, understanding myself, forgiving myself and being truly comfortable in my own skin have been the best gift ever. It's true emancipation from the mental prison of own construction.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It took the world to fall apart first but knowing myself, understanding myself, forgiving myself and being truly comfortable in my own skin have been the best gift ever. It's true emancipation from the mental prison of own construction."

I hear you. I'm on day release, I think.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I also think it's a true foundation block of a healthier future and love life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Losing fat from my body has proven much easier than losing it from my mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never really had body image issues, it just is what it is. I was a lot bigger and was happy enough, I lost weight for health reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used tohave issues with my eyes at school i now see them as a strength

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Used tohave issues with my eyes at school i now see them as a strength"

Specsavers ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Used tohave issues with my eyes at school i now see them as a strength

Specsavers ? "
no it wasnt spec related

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think we all do, i believe bad times and low moments and the battle within eventually motivate us, to learn that we are enough how we are. It’s s long winded battle u have to be true to yourself always.

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm quoting here but:-

"True beauty comes from within. To change yourself and to conform to anyone else’s standards of beauty, is to change your very essence".

Everyone deserves respect based on who they are and how they interact with others, not because of their shape or size.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm not sure if it is accepting myself as such but I've decided I'm going to adopt a fuck it policy. I'm prone to bouts of overthinking where I question desirability but no fucking more. No more, Oh Meli, you're too fat, don't do that. Don't speak to them. Don't wear that. Fuck it all.

I still want to carry on working on my body (still fat like) and the gym isn't *that* bad and while I do that? Fuck. It. I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm just going to be me because the me I am *is* appealing. I'd say my body is the one area I don't have confidence in and don't truly love myself in. But fuck it. I will. And soon. I'm going to start embracing all the joys my body can bring. Be more the Meli I am in all other areas of my life.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"I'm not sure if it is accepting myself as such but I've decided I'm going to adopt a fuck it policy. I'm prone to bouts of overthinking where I question desirability but no fucking more. No more, Oh Meli, you're too fat, don't do that. Don't speak to them. Don't wear that. Fuck it all.

You go, girl. You look awesome. Enjoy it, even if there's a voice inside you that tells you you don't That voice doesn't know what the hell it's talking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I don't love myself that's for sure.

Acceptance? yeah I accept myself for who I am what I have become as a person, do I like myself as I am? physically yeah I am totally confident with how I look naked, don't even get self-conscious of the scars anymore, although people do look, I am conscious of that but it doesn't faze me now.

Mentally? No I have some bad sh*t going on, demons never leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you are grey and old youll give anything to look like you do now. Noones perfect but just appreciate and accept who and what you are and thats the key!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have always accepted myself for what I am... it's others that seem to have the problem... "

Here here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting older has helped me and I've learned that being confident is rather sexy and appealing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physically i do now.. im happy in that respect.

mentally i dont... thats a struggle

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London

"Yeh... still a work in progress.. i dont give a toss about what people thinkn of me or my opunions or lifestyle. If they dont like me its their problem. I do however still hate my weight for myself. Im too short. Im 5 foot 3 and 13 stone wich is 3 stone overweigt for my height. I dont like it bit dont love myself enough to change it.

Hearing this. I've touched my lowest and it's not easy. If I could help myself back then I'd advise him just to be patient and make a radical change to change the current lifestyle. Although he still wouldn't listen I'll still be there for him.

Look back and give yourself some advise to yourself 5-10 years back. It 'might' just give you some confidence to find solutions today and people will smell that increased confidence.

Best of luck and best wishes xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all our own worst enemies at times.

We all strive for more - never satisfied and still or accept things as they are.

I wish I knew how to love myself - I don't - but I give a lot less fucks now about other people's opinions.

It helps.

I wish I could love myself enough to be good to my body - I abuse it and dislike my reflection daily.

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By *ultrySiriWoman
over a year ago

Arundel

I think it helps when you get a self love nudge from others who accept you just as you are. This has given me wings to lose two sizes since joining fab but still would like to continue to keep transforming...

I am flawed but worthy. One of the many Pinterest finds..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look fit, try not to be too hard on yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It took 40 + yrs to love myself, hardest thing I've ever done. To love you, you need to accept yourself as you.

I'm not prefect body wise, but I don't care what others think anymore. Don't hurt others so it's no concern to them.

I am enough the way I am.

My motto

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It took 40 + yrs to love myself, hardest thing I've ever done. To love you, you need to accept yourself as you.

I'm not prefect body wise, but I don't care what others think anymore. Don't hurt others so it's no concern to them.

I am enough the way I am.

My motto"

You most certainly are. You're absolutely stunning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still fighting the battle. When I was at my smallest I was in the grip of an eating disorder so despised myself, and struggled to see myself as anything but grotesque. My “old friend” still likes to try and say hello when I’m at my most vulnerable, but I’m strong enough to resist it now.

I’m now over a stone and a half lighter, and two dress sizes smaller than when I first joined Fab, but I know my size isn’t really the issue. I’ve been around six stone and saw myself as needing to lose weight to become thin. Psychological damage from my past had manifested itself through my trying to control the only thing I could, my body. I wasn’t in control of anything.

I’m trying to be more positive now, and learn to love myself. It’s hard, but my daughters think I’m worth loving, so trying to take some of their belief in me and apply it for myself x I don’t love me, but I don’t hate me anymore, so it’s all good progress xx

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

I turned 39 and was extremely unhappy with my weight I didn’t want to be overweight unhealthy by the time I turned 40......I’m now 41 almost 12 stone lighter and am pounds away from my target weight....I’m still not 100 percent happy with myself but for me the good things like being healthy and my mental health improving outweigh the bad things like a few wobbly bits....It’s been a long journey but I’m finally starting to gain the confidence I never thought I would ....My husband thought I was beautiful then and still tells me everyday how beautiful I am now ...xxx

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

I don’t love myself..... my confidence isn’t great but I hide that well.

I try to do the best with what I have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am what I am and can't change that. Certain reasons beyond my control.

It used to bother me but not any more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t think I will ever love myself, I just see myself as rank

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Growing older is quite an interesting journey when it comes to accepting your appearance but I guess having a previous background of liking yourself helps there.

It's ironic in a way that age gives you the tools to make it easier to accept your personal 'self' while making it harder to accept your physical self.

I think genuinely not caring what other peoples opinion of you is can help too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both have problems accepting. But recent events have thrown that out the window and we’ve come to a compromise. I think hubby is stunning. My perfect man. He thinks the same about me. We don’t question it anymore. We aren’t allowed to. He works for me and I for him. That’s all that matters

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London

"Still fighting the battle. When I was at my smallest I was in the grip of an eating disorder so despised myself, and struggled to see myself as anything but grotesque. My “old friend” still likes to try and say hello when I’m at my most vulnerable, but I’m strong enough to resist it now.

Olè to this. Always battling, mostly winning. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With compassion a mirror and lots of good red wine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a serious note

I suffered for many years with self loathing and depression

I found mindfulness worked for me .

I accept who I am

I'm as compassionate with my self as I am with others

realise we all have our own issues, you never know what battle some one is fighting

Be more kind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I turned 39 and was extremely unhappy with my weight I didn’t want to be overweight unhealthy by the time I turned 40......I’m now 41 almost 12 stone lighter and am pounds away from my target weight....I’m still not 100 percent happy with myself but for me the good things like being healthy and my mental health improving outweigh the bad things like a few wobbly bits....It’s been a long journey but I’m finally starting to gain the confidence I never thought I would ....My husband thought I was beautiful then and still tells me everyday how beautiful I am now ...xxx"

12 stone

that is amazing!

You should absolutely love yourself and accept the love from your hubby x

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