FabSwingers.com forum: A 'had enough' rant

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know it's only Tuesday but had to get someone off my chest!

I have spent the majority of my adult life pandering to men in one form or another. My husband is extremely disrespectful towards me so I came here for fun, affection sex, attention. Instead I've just continued the same old shit just with different men... so enough! I'm a strong, independent woman and I will do what the fuck I want from now on and not keep putting myself out there to be treated like shit.

My god that felt good! Now.....where is the sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't you leave your husband then?

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Good for you. I agree - wankers can just get in the fucking sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why don't you leave your husband then? "

That way you are free.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop offering sex so easily if you want things to change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cool sex is over there turn left go 4 miles and you will find a hill now the hill means you gone too far

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why don't you leave your husband then? "

Well mr Khan I havent been strong enough before if I'm honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused "

Yeah he knows I'm here and about my profile. He is just a dick about my size etc but I thought I'd be stronger on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cool sex is over there turn left go 4 miles and you will find a hill now the hill means you gone too far

Ok thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are beautiful

That is all, have a nice time.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

You can't change others but you can change yourself, or at least your approach to situations.

Breaking habits/patterns takes vigilance. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused

Yeah he knows I'm here and about my profile. He is just a dick about my size etc but I thought I'd be stronger on here "

Oh apologies

You’ll get the strength to do what is right for you .. I wish you luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused

Yeah he knows I'm here and about my profile. He is just a dick about my size etc but I thought I'd be stronger on here

Oh apologies

You’ll get the strength to do what is right for you .. I wish you luck "

It is confusing isnt it lol. No wonder my head is done in

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

He'd get exactly the same response from me.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

well OP it's never to late to take back the power..seize it with both hands...you go girl x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Then I would hope it would get treated the same. No one deserves to be messed about.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused

Yeah he knows I'm here and about my profile. He is just a dick about my size etc but I thought I'd be stronger on here "

Strength comes from within, not from a change of external environment. I read your comment as "I thought I'd get more of an ego boost here but it has proved hollow".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Then I would hope it would get treated the same. No one deserves to be messed about. "

You can't change how other people behave by complaining about it

But you can change yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Why do people always feel the need to say this?

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By *coxy69Man
over a year ago

Stone

Let’s not tar us all with the same brush eh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused

Yeah he knows I'm here and about my profile. He is just a dick about my size etc but I thought I'd be stronger on here

Strength comes from within, not from a change of external environment. I read your comment as "I thought I'd get more of an ego boost here but it has proved hollow".

I was going to argue that but then I thought about it and you are probably right. I assumed it would make me feel great but it doesnt because most of it from here isnt real.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Then I would hope it would get treated the same. No one deserves to be messed about.

You can't change how other people behave by complaining about it

But you can change yours"

Very very true.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Why don't you leave your husband then?

Well mr Khan I havent been strong enough before if I'm honest "

If he’s happy for you to have a single profile on here, and to meet other men with his blessing, he can’t be all bad though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Then I would hope it would get treated the same. No one deserves to be messed about. "

Not being on here long!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused

Yeah he knows I'm here and about my profile. He is just a dick about my size etc but I thought I'd be stronger on here

Strength comes from within, not from a change of external environment. I read your comment as "I thought I'd get more of an ego boost here but it has proved hollow".

I was going to argue that but then I thought about it and you are probably right. I assumed it would make me feel great but it doesnt because most of it from here isnt real. "

This thread will certainly get you more attention and some of it will be very flattering. Take the compliment but build your strength from feeling your own worth, not from the online compliments of people judging limited images.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Then I would hope it would get treated the same. No one deserves to be messed about.

Not being on here long!

Why the eye roll? If she's got to this realisation sooner than others isn't that a good thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why don't you leave your husband then?

Well mr Khan I havent been strong enough before if I'm honest "

Mr Khan? Nobody calls me Mister

I was in an unhappy marriage. I ended up cheating, something I swore I'd never do. I hurt her, hurt my kids and hurt myself. There was no need to cause any of that pain.

I could have just been honest from the start.

So from the moment our relationship ended, I was so disappointed in myself and what I'd done.. That I told myself I'd never lie again.

I do, occasionally.. little white ones to not hurt feelings. Nothing big though, I can't keep other people's secrets either very well either.. it eats away at me.

5yrs on and I'm happy. I'm broke, live alone, don't have a whole lot of friends, starting all over again..

But I'm free.. not lying gives me faith in myself and I can now sleep with quite a few sexy women.. without hurting anyone.

The whole not lying thing.. I'd reccomend it to anyone suffering from demon's they've brought on themselves.

It's hard, it does hurt and can be awkward to start off with.. but then people who do like you.. like you warts and all.

If you're unhappy with your other half.. want a fresh start.. feel trapped.. alone.. lonely and unloved..

Fucking talk about it.. whoever you are. Lying and cheating doesn't make anyone happy.. not long term.

I wish you all the best OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know it's only Tuesday but had to get someone off my chest!

My god that felt good! Now.....where is the sex?

He won’t appreciate what he has until it’s gone

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

It’s a huge step walking away from a hurtful relationship. Only you can make that choice when, and if, it is right for you

I won’t say it’s easy, as it isn’t, far from it. 4.5 years on its still tough, but I’d rather be where I am now than in the false place I was back then

Stay strong, do what’s right for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Then I would hope it would get treated the same. No one deserves to be messed about.

Not being on here long!

Why the eye roll? If she's got to this realisation sooner than others isn't that a good thing?

Really or was it just a self thread aimed at generating messages from males and my point all along was if a male had written this thread he would have been ripped apart, especially one who claimed his wife had given him permission band had only recently joined, hey-ho nothing new on Fab!

(smiley face!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Then I would hope it would get treated the same. No one deserves to be messed about.

Not being on here long!

Why the eye roll? If she's got to this realisation sooner than others isn't that a good thing?

(smiley face!)"

Tbf, posters haven't exactly been gushing over the OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Then I would hope it would get treated the same. No one deserves to be messed about.

Not being on here long!

Why the eye roll? If she's got to this realisation sooner than others isn't that a good thing?

(smiley face!)"

Yeah I'm not new to fab. Been around about 10 years now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused

Yeah he knows I'm here and about my profile. He is just a dick about my size etc but I thought I'd be stronger on here

Strength comes from within, not from a change of external environment. I read your comment as "I thought I'd get more of an ego boost here but it has proved hollow".

I was going to argue that but then I thought about it and you are probably right. I assumed it would make me feel great but it doesnt because most of it from here isnt real. "

It is for me.. I make some very real, long-term friendships out of Fab. Not with everyone I meet. Sometimes its JUST A SHAG. But I dont feel bad about it afterwards.. I want to high5 myself for days and weeks after. No hurt feelings.. just two humans coming together for a little mutual stress relief.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I hope you find the FB of your dreams

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmm, wonder if a man wrote this thread.....

Then I would hope it would get treated the same. No one deserves to be messed about.

Not being on here long!

Why the eye roll? If she's got to this realisation sooner than others isn't that a good thing?

(smiley face!)

Yeah I'm not new to fab. Been around about 10 years now"

It's taken you ten years then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, it sounds like the OP is angry about elements of her life that she has always had the power to change.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused

Yeah he knows I'm here and about my profile. He is just a dick about my size etc but I thought I'd be stronger on here

Strength comes from within, not from a change of external environment. I read your comment as "I thought I'd get more of an ego boost here but it has proved hollow".

I was going to argue that but then I thought about it and you are probably right. I assumed it would make me feel great but it doesnt because most of it from here isnt real.

Some of my best friends are from fab and I've known them a long time. This thread hasn't come out like I wanted it to but no matter

it was more about me trying to break the cycle of my behaviour towards men

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To me, it sounds like the OP is angry about elements of her life that she has always had the power to change."

Yes!! That's it! Someone who understands what I meant. It's not about the men really it was about me doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I offered advice much further up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stop offering sex so easily if you want things to change "

So 'offering sex' means women should expect to be treated like crap?

Fuck me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my, Vamp’s point of view, should I choose to have a single profile, I WOULD NOT NEED PERMISSION, from my husband.

OP, we wish you well. You are a very strong, beautiful lady.

Through knowledge, I gain power.

Through power, I gain strength.

Through strength, I gian victory.

Through victory, my chains are broken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your husband has given you permission to be here ??

I’m a tad confused

Yeah he knows I'm here and about my profile. He is just a dick about my size etc but I thought I'd be stronger on here

Strength comes from within, not from a change of external environment. I read your comment as "I thought I'd get more of an ego boost here but it has proved hollow".

I was going to argue that but then I thought about it and you are probably right. I assumed it would make me feel great but it doesnt because most of it from here isnt real.

Some of my best friends are from fab and I've known them a long time. This thread hasn't come out like I wanted it to but no matter

it was more about me trying to break the cycle of my behaviour towards men

If I had realised you'd been on 10yrs.. I'd have said something different..

Now I feel a bit stupid..

Oh well.. Maybe someone else will read it.

#GhengistillIdie

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From my, Vamp’s point of view, should I choose to have a single profile, I WOULD NOT NEED PERMISSION, from my husband.

OP, we wish you well. You are a very strong, beautiful lady.

Through knowledge, I gain power.

Through power, I gain strength.

Through strength, I gian victory.

Through victory, my chains are broken."

Thank you x

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I know it's only Tuesday but had to get someone off my chest!

My god that felt good! Now.....where is the sex?

Hi OP. I don't know what the story is with you and your husband but you are clearly not happy. I'm not sure coming on here to try and boost your confidence (apologies if I've misunderstood) is the best idea - in my experience the only solution for an unhappy relationship is to talk, talk, and talk some more. If you can't agree, then see where you go from there.

Big props to you for deciding not to let yourself be treated badly again though - it's a difficult pattern of behaviour to break. I hope you find happiness in yourself

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stop offering sex so easily if you want things to change

So 'offering sex' means women should expect to be treated like crap?

Fuck me"

Perhaps poor wording on my part

The OP complained of pandering to men in her search for sex...maybe by making sex not so available and getting to know someone where sex isn't the main focus of interaction then she might not be left feeling as though guys don't respect her afterwards.

It's unrealistic to expect the changes to come from others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stop offering sex so easily if you want things to change

So 'offering sex' means women should expect to be treated like crap?

Fuck me

Perhaps poor wording on my part

It's unrealistic to expect the changes to come from others"

Well put.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know it's only Tuesday but had to get someone off my chest!

My god that felt good! Now.....where is the sex?

At least you have recognised the patterns you follow and what to do to change them, so being here and having all those experiences is a good thing. You can go forward with your eyes more open now.