FabSwingers.com forum: Couples

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fake profiles?

One half of a couple tolerating the sexual preferences of the other?

They actually like it that way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry rubes im of no help here

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Ahhhhh the old couple ploy. Well as we all know the majority of these dodgy profiles are well excercised ploys by single men to entice other couples or single ladies into sexi times and the sharing of the so called tributing photos

They can also be called con artists and many have been reported. Seriously though the number of profiles like that that have contacted me , the wife always seems to be out shopping or at her mothers. Either way they will get caught out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fake profiles?

One half of a couple tolerating the sexual preferences of the other?

They actually like it that way?"

I appreciate there's not a one size fits all answer and I'm not judging their preferences I was just curious as to why it does/doesn't work.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry rubes im of no help here"

It's OK Jim I'll let you off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ahhhhh the old couple ploy. Well as we all know the majority of these dodgy profiles are well excercised ploys by single men to entice other couples or single ladies into sexi times and the sharing of the so called tributing photos

Yeah there are definitely a fair few of those but I mean the genuine ones who do meet separately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry rubes im of no help here

It's OK Jim I'll let you off. "

i watched bulseye yesterday still dont here it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where's Queenie?

She'll explain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trying to second guess motivation on fab, you'll go crazy pretty one...

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Because life happens and we've found what works for us. It's not harder to maintain trust - we've always had a very open level of communication regarding this sort of thing. I think the trust is either there or it isn't to some extent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a cpls profile and a single one for Mrs as we line the hotwife / stag / vixen lifestyle

Works fir us as a single fem will get more mail and Mrs can chat away to guys she likes

On cpls we chat to all and would meet as cpl x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Where's Queenie?

She'll explain

Yes! She's my target market!

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By *enonlyMan
over a year ago

Stoke On Trent

Me and the wife have separate accounts and she plays all the time, I dont manage to play no one wants me

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We only meet males, but hubby is always involved, but not with the males. He enjoys seeing me with other men, I like the fact that he does.

Its win win.

But there are so many variations and often people don't read profile and assume we both play.

I know couples profiles can get bad rep for being fake but theres so many fakers and dreamers anyway.

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes!"

It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Trying to second guess motivation on fab, you'll go crazy pretty one..."

I'm just curious, I don't need a definitive answer.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Yeah there are definitely a fair few of those but I mean the genuine ones who do meet separately. "

Wifey doesn’t know?? Or hubby does but is too afraid to partake ?

I know there are stronger characters in every relationship. For example I met a couple last year. The wife wanted to experience a MMf full on where her hubby partook in a bit of how’s your father with me. We had met previously socially and got on well. Anyway when the deed started and she saw what her hubby and I were doing she asked us to stop as it was freaking her out now all we were doing was orally challenging each other but I respected her wish and stopped. Moral of the story maybe some things aren’t for everyone Perhaps ? Maybe ?

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By *enonlyMan
over a year ago

Stoke On Trent

"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes!

It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general

consensus is that men have a higher sex drive. "

I have a higher sex drive than the wife

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because life happens and we've found what works for us. It's not harder to maintain trust - we've always had a very open level of communication regarding this sort of thing. I think the trust is either there or it isn't to some extent."

Yeah that makes sense, you need a strong foundation before even considering swinging at a basic "wife swap" level.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We have a cpls profile and a single one for Mrs as we line the hotwife / stag / vixen lifestyle

Works fir us as a single fem will get more mail and Mrs can chat away to guys she likes

On cpls we chat to all and would meet as cpl x"

What do you get from it if/when she meets alone? Is it a sense of pride? Excitement of what she will come home and tell you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Me and the wife have separate accounts and she plays all the time, I dont manage to play no one wants me "
women always do better

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We only meet males, but hubby is always involved, but not with the males. He enjoys seeing me with other men, I like the fact that he does.

Its win win.

But there are so many variations and often people don't read profile and assume we both play.

I know couples profiles can get bad rep for being fake but theres so many fakers and dreamers anyway.

Jo x

Have you ever considered meeting alone or would that change the dynamic too much? Is him being there a big part of the turn on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? "

It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years.

For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing.

It's a hard thing to explain but the knowledge that you don't own the other person, they're truly free to do what they want but choose you every time is incredibly reassuring and stabilising in an open and trusting relationship.

That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah there are definitely a fair few of those but I mean the genuine ones who do meet separately.

Wifey doesn’t know?? Or hubby does but is too afraid to partake ?

I guess in that way it's a bit like a social activity for one of them? They love golf, the wife doesn't so he goes to play and she doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes!

It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general

consensus is that men have a higher sex drive.

I have a higher sex drive than the wife "

Does it frustrate you then when she has more sex than you?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing.

Tea"

Oh this is such a perfect description Tea. Nice one.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"We only meet males, but hubby is always involved, but not with the males. He enjoys seeing me with other men, I like the fact that he does.

Its win win.

But there are so many variations and often people don't read profile and assume we both play.

I know couples profiles can get bad rep for being fake but theres so many fakers and dreamers anyway.

Jo x

Have you ever considered meeting alone or would that change the dynamic too much? Is him being there a big part of the turn on? "

Talked about it yes, it may well happen but it wouldn't be a regular thing for us I don't think. Have talked about meeting guys on my own we have both met before. Jo x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation?

It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years.

For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing.

That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course.

Tea"

Yes I was ignoring the fake ones!

That does make sense, they're sharing bodies but not emotions so it is quite freeing.

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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

We are a couple and we wouldn't be interested in meeting separately

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We are a couple and we wouldn't be interested in meeting separately"

What is it that puts you off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation?

It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years.

For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing.

That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course.

Tea

Yes I was ignoring the fake ones!

That does make sense, they're sharing bodies but not emotions so it is quite freeing.

Yes, the fact that it's 'just sex' is the basis of any swinging relationship, the further dynamics and emotions can be complex though.

Each couple will have subtle variations on general themes as to what works for them. Understanding those, for me, was more difficult until I lived it and understood it for myself.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gain nothing from it apart from a twisted up head and a sense of despair.

If we're together I'm sound but separate is a whole different ball game and one that knocks me physically sick.

Being so far apart most of the time, we don't have the opportunity to partake in reclamation sex which many people say is an integral part of swinging separately and something that makes a lot of sense to me. We don't live together, our time is very limited and to be sharing that limited time with someone else seems like a bum deal to me, like I'm getting cast aside.

I'm aware I have internal work to do!

I've seen so many people ignore any "moral code" and not care who's lives they destroy in the process of getting their rocks off, sneaky devious behaviour, lies and manipulation, that yes, I trust B completely but other people I can't say the same for.

I don't meet others alone as I've no real desire to, but my main reason is this. If I met someone and they caused trouble or brought drama into our lives I'd struggle to forgive myself for putting us in that position.

I could absolutely understand and feel totally relaxed, secure and confident if there was a kink or something B was into that I had no interest in, the thought of him partaking in something with someone else there doesn't phase me, providing it was something I'd already tried and really didn't enjoy.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? "

Great question OP.

We started our journey (I know, very x factor) thinking we would always play together, but quickly discovered that me going out alone is very hot too! It was partly due to convenience - difficult to go out together due to kids - so we thought we'd try it, I'd get pics and vids, and if we hated it we wouldn't do it again. Loved it! The sex we have when I come home is incredible - that sense of reconnecting and relieving all the details. Mr can chip in with what exactly it does for him.

I think trust is crucial whether you meet separately or not, plus talk talk talk - just because it works for you at the moment, doesn't mean it always will. We always say if it stops being fun for one of us, then we'll stop. Our own relationship always comes first.

Mrs TMN x

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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

"We are a couple and we wouldn't be interested in meeting separately

What is it that puts you off? "

It's not something we have ever wanted to do, this is still quite new to us both, being honest I'm not interested in full sex with another man as its women I'm interested in. And part of the thrill I get is from my hubby and a female/couple there all playing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation?

It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years.

For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing.

That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course.

Tea

Yes I was ignoring the fake ones!

That does make sense, they're sharing bodies but not emotions so it is quite freeing.

Yes, the fact that it's 'just sex' is the basis of any swinging relationship, the further dynamics and emotions can be complex though.

Each couple will have subtle variations on general themes as to what works for them. Understanding those, for me, was more difficult until I lived it and understood it for myself.

Tea"

Yeah I totally understand that, it will be different for each couple as are many parts of a relationship.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation?

Great question OP.

Mrs TMN x"

I should say, we meet together too

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

This rings true for us

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I gain nothing from it apart from a twisted up head and a sense of despair.

If we're together I'm sound but separate is a whole different ball game and one that knocks me physically sick.

I'm aware I have internal work to do!

That makes sense, I would be the same, questioning why he would choose to spend what little time we had with someone else. But yes, reclamation sex I understand and can imagine how intense that would be.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation?

It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years.

For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing.

That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course.

Tea"

Oh this is a great explanation

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation?

Great question OP.

Mrs TMN x"

Do you have a sob story we can play at the start of this?

Logistics seems to play a part for quite a few couples, like this way they still get to experience the thrill of swinging without having to wait weeks or months to get a babysitter.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes!

It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive. "

Think it is more to do with opportunity on here. Mrs is out on a girls night out tomorrow and I have been winding her up all week about putting up a status that says "only Male available meet now" she has jokingly said go ahead as she knows there will be no takers. Now if she was to do the same thing our inbox would be inundated within seconds.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We are a couple and we wouldn't be interested in meeting separately

What is it that puts you off?

So it's more about sharing your sex life with others with you both participating.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes!

It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive.

Definitely, women are in high demand here!

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

R wasn't on Fab when she was with her ex, but she often played separately to him - hotwifed in fact. The reason was she was much more highly sexed than him and needed more, he was fine about that as long as she didn't bring her men and women friends home. He didn't want to know any details afterwards.

There must be many couples with different sex-drives, it's good when both in the relationship are happy with that.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation?

Great question OP.

Mrs TMN x

Do you have a sob story we can play at the start of this?

"It was a cold autumn night. I was pissed and flirting with my pal. She asked if I'd heard of fab. And so it began..."

Logistics seems to play a part for quite a few couples, like this way they still get to experience the thrill of swinging without having to wait weeks or months to get a babysitter. "

Absolutely. There are things we do together - on the kink side, I wouldn't want to be completely submissive without him there, from a safety and an emotional perspective. So if we have to wait a few months, so be it. But for a straight up fuck? I get fucked, we have great sex after, he gets some private porn to watch - it's win win!

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

It's not something we have ever understood, other than different people like different things. Dot's explanation is the first I have heard that makes sense to me (Luke), so I thank you for it.

Having said that, I am perfectly happy for Hannah to have experiences with women, and the ones she's had haven't involved me in any way. Likewise, she would be quite happy for me to have an experience with a man but that desire for anything same-sex is considerably lower with me and I've hardly gone down that route.

When it comes to opposite-sex experiences, we want to explore that together. I feel an enhanced closeness to each other by being together when others are involved that would be absent if one of us went somewhere else for sex.

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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

"We are a couple and we wouldn't be interested in meeting separately

What is it that puts you off?

So it's more about sharing your sex life with others with you both participating. "

Yes that's probably a good way of putting it, we was hoping for one of those mysterious unicorns but we got talking to another couple and that worked out for us all, ground rules established and we all had a great night.

Maybe in future I might play solo but only with another female though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"R wasn't on Fab when she was with her ex, but she often played separately to him - hotwifed in fact. The reason was she was much more highly sexed than him and needed more, he was fine about that as long as she didn't bring her men and women friends home. He didn't want to know any details afterwards.

There must be many couples with different sex-drives, it's good when both in the relationship are happy with that. "

Definitely, it shows great strength and trust to allow your partner to be themselves, I can imagine how frustrating it would be for both parties if they had differing sex drives but this way they both get what they need which in turn protects their relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you mean the ones where they message you to say my wife said its ok i can play with you or the ones that pretend they are the wife offering or asking if you will go with the husband

... insant block everytime

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's not something we have ever understood, other than different people like different things. Dot's explanation is the first I have heard that makes sense to me (Luke), so I thank you for it.

At first I wondered why the sex of the person was important but then I guess it's because it's not something you can experience together, you can't suddenly grow a vagina and let her experience FF interactions!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you mean the ones where they message you to say my wife said its ok i can play with you or the ones that pretend they are the wife offering or asking if you will go with the husband

... insant block everytime"

I meant the genuine ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

genuine holy moly woman your on the wrong site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we’ve seen a lot of the male only free for whatever reason, then the suspect profile and no verifications.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"It's not something we have ever understood, other than different people like different things. Dot's explanation is the first I have heard that makes sense to me (Luke), so I thank you for it.

That's a big aspect of it.

Our guiding principle is whatever we do with others must not be to the detriment of our relationship. We both know I'm not going to leave her for a man and I have total confidence she's not going to leave me for a woman, partly because we are both more into the opposite sex than the same.

And to be a bit more pervy about it, I find it an astonishing turn-on when she tells me she's had sex with a woman, especially since I know that woman socially and we all talk quite openly that it happened!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

genuine holy moly woman your on the wrong site

Why's that? We're all on here for different reasons. The couples all have different dynamics that work for them, I was just curious about this one as it's not something I've experienced.

I'd say I was on the right site if I can post threads like this and speak to people who are actually living it.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit.

My understanding has always been that swinging is part of life not the whole of life and this is probably true of a relationship, in that sex is part of a relationship not the whole of the relationship.

Depending on how you view sex will impact how willing/unwilling you are for your partner to indulge with/without you. If you see it as a recreational activity then you are more inclined to share or be unphased by your partner having sex with someone else (after all I can’t always make ballroom dance lessons, but does that mean my imaginary partner shouldn’t go and dance with someone else?)

It is the other elements of a relationship in the above scenario that create the “couple”, things that swinging can not replace. Sex, like dancing or crochet is a hobby and who doesn’t like to see and know that the person they love is living a full life?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes we’ve seen a lot of the male only free for whatever reason, then the suspect profile and no verifications. "

There's definitely a few of them around.

I find it interesting though that the genuine couples seem to lean toward it being the female who meets alone rather than the male.

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By *eavensScentCouple
over a year ago

Southend

We would only meet as a couple... it’s most fun when you’re both there!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's not something we have ever understood, other than different people like different things. Dot's explanation is the first I have heard that makes sense to me (Luke), so I thank you for it.

That's a big aspect of it.

I can see how that would be a turn on, you know what happened but you didn't see it so your imagination will be in overdrive.

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Although there's elements of her going off for a meet without me that I find hot I don't think we would actually do it as we would find it even hotter to meet a guy together. So why do the less hot thing I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nothing more horny going home to the man you love and telling him what you have done and then watch him become so turned on too been doing it nearly 25 years now .... we are solid as a rock because its alway been what we both wanted no 40/60 30/70 always 50/50 most of those years were bi play and hotwife now its cuckold lifes never boring

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit.

Absolutely. It makes sense that for some it is completely separate to their relationship. When you think of being single and having one night stands the sex is just for fun so it's something you enjoy, some just carry on enjoying it whilst also having a loving relationship with someone else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We would only meet as a couple... it’s most fun when you’re both there! "

So on the back of Decadent_Devon's post would you say you don't see sex as separate to your relationship? Although you are having sex with other people you are both there so it is a shared experience as part of your sex life together?

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one.

So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit.

Now I can understand where you're coming from here. But what about when their dance partner is sending messages during a romantic dinner with your partner? When you and your partner are snuggled in bed? Would you think hang on, this isn't part of the deal? What about if their dance partner is enticing them to engage in other dances that aren't ballroom, or go to more dance classes a week, at other dance studios. Would you be comfortable with that? If they are meant to just be dancing, but hang on, it's more than just going to dance class once a week/month/year. It's spending hours messaging over the course of the week, it's learning each others most intimate desires and what makes each other tick, it's getting inside each others minds and wanting to give each other nothing but pleasure, closeness and the feeling that they're the only 2 people on the planet at that moment in time.... your partner wants to do those things with you but you fancy a change, so they're left doing the dishes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Although there's elements of her going off for a meet without me that I find hot I don't think we would actually do it as we would find it even hotter to meet a guy together. So why do the less hot thing I guess."

So you fit somewhere in the middle then, you could separate sex from emotions and have her meeting without you but you prefer not to because sharing turns you on more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"nothing more horny going home to the man you love and telling him what you have done and then watch him become so turned on too been doing it nearly 25 years now .... we are solid as a rock because its alway been what we both wanted no 40/60 30/70 always 50/50 most of those years were bi play and hotwife now its cuckold lifes never boring "

Why do you think your relationship has changed then? How did you end up as a cuckold couple?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one.

So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another.

See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons?

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one.

So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another.

See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? "

Yeah exactly, so that along with the fact we find it hotter for me to be there too is why we would probably not do it. But never say never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where's Queenie?

She'll explain

She was napping!

Turns my husband on if I fuck other men

Doesn’t turn me on him being with anyone else.

Simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where's Queenie?

She'll explain

She was napping!

Turns my husband on if I fuck other men

Doesn’t turn me on him being with anyone else.

Simple "

And I wouldn’t say it’s harder to maintain trust, I dunno it’s weird to explain. It’s not something we’ve ever had to discuss because we trust each other fully (I know it’s more about him trusting me, but yeah)

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one.

So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another.

See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? "

To affirm that choice? To get them worked up for an even hotter reunion? Statistically there isn't only one person that can push those buttons, even if you prefer that a specific person does. But statistics don't account for feelings & preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where's Queenie?

She'll explain

She was napping!

Turns my husband on if I fuck other men

Doesn’t turn me on him being with anyone else.

Simple

How about if you didn't live together, weren't married and only saw each other every month or so? Do you think you'd continue or do you think it has the potential to damage what you have? Would he still feel the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you think your relationship has changed then? How did you end up as a cuckold couple? "

from hotwife to cuckold well he had major heart probs and other health probs that it affected him in the erection department so to cut a long story short he asked if we could try cuckold as its not a million miles from hotwife and he was not ready to lose a sex life so we tried it and he found it very hot i found it very hot so we dived in and 2 years in still doing and loving it we were alway a very adventurous couple never shy or afraid to try anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit.

I think that's where it comes down to boundaries and communication within the relationship. Establishing and building a connection, to some, is an important part and thrill of the meet. Making sure there's a balance is the key.

In my experience, I never saw it as any different really than chatting to friends, she would share the conversation with me and I with her. We had boundaries about what we were comfortable with each other sharing with meets which was all part of the trust.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one.

So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another.

See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? "

Cause it’s bloody fun, why not?

When me and C got married I had only been with him and I fully expected that to be the case until I died (or something happened and we split up) and I was happy with that.

I don’t even know if I’m really suitable to answer cause I have been ‘swinging’ for a year now and am totally unsure if I will again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where's Queenie?

She'll explain

She was napping!

Turns my husband on if I fuck other men

Doesn’t turn me on him being with anyone else.

Simple

I honestly couldn’t say.

I know he would still feel the same way, but seeing as we’ve lived together since I was sixteen (well pretty much since I was fourteen) then I genuinely have no idea.

Since the age of sixteen I have spent one night apart from him, and that was the night before our wedding. So I don’t know.

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"Cause it’s bloody fun, why not?"

My last meet went back to her husband soaking & horny as hell - all the better for him. He sent me a lovely message the next day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one.

So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another.

See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? "

For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards.

If it's *just* about meeting the other person then I can see your point, although sometimes meeting someone new is fun in itself. It also involves and revolves around your partner in many situations, it's about the thrill that they get from it which you both feed off.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit.

Tea"

Sorry I known I'm nit picking about the negatives but these are things that pop in my noggin.

Let's say you had a great meet, that person seemed sound but then things start going bad. They're telling lies about convos you may have had, things that happened during the meet. You know they're lies but now your partner is in a daze. She wants to believe you but has been lied to many times in the past and swore she would never let herself end up in a position again where she's questioning what's real and what's not.

Would you feel like shit for putting her in that position or would you simply feel it's a case of "well if you love me, you'd trust me? If you really knew me, you'd know I'd not so those things?"

Coz she heard that plenty times whilst being lied to in the past by others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one.

So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another.

See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons?

For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards.

Tea"

You know how to word things when I don’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit.

Tea

Sorry I known I'm nit picking about the negatives but these are things that pop in my noggin.

Would you feel like shit for putting her in that position or would you simply feel it's a case of "well if you love me, you'd trust me? If you really knew me, you'd know I'd not so those things?"

Coz she heard that plenty times whilst being lied to in the past by others.

That wouldn't be a scenario. I would have seen the conversation before hand, known what was going on and talked after.

Yes, you get folks who are clingy, want more or in extremes, try and cause problems. That's where trust and honesty come into play. I never asked to see what they were talking about nor her me, but we always showed our conversations. If either of us were uncomfortable with how things were going then we'd stop. No meet is ever worth a relationship.

I never lived with my ex, we saw each other once or twice a week but communication about meets was never an issue.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards.

Tea

You know how to word things when I don’t "

Again, this bit I can understand, but I can't understand when your partner isn't involved. When your partner is kept in the dark as far as all messages go so it feels like they've been disconnected from the situation and aren't welcome, when your partner has no clue what's happening at the meet so is left with their mind in overdrive, when there could be weeks if not months before you see your partner again to reconnect in the flesh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have met people who like to play mind game like when im with them and we talk then they like to fire a message off to hubs saying things like well your mrs said this n that thinking ive told him nothing as if they want trouble but shock horror hubs just thinks its funny as i tell him everything some people are dangerous and vindictive maybe jealous of what some couples have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards.

Tea

You know how to word things when I don’t

Dunno what to say to that as that isn’t my situation so I’m no help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards.

Tea

You know how to word things when I don’t

I know of some people who feed off that dynamic, although that's far more of a cuck/cuck queen scenario.

I'd say that it should be a case where you both know exactly what's going on, if you feel marginalised by your partner and don't want to be then something is wrong in that situation for you.

I found that reconnection was better immediately but a few days was fine, so long as we talked after.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a couples account but when it comes to meeting it will more than likely be me alone. My partner wants to see me with another man and I'm very happy to do that. He has no interest in being with another woman and I wouldn't be OK with him meeting another woman as the thought of that doesn't do anything for me. So, that's why only I will meet from this account. I did ask for a female profile but they wouldn't give me one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i have met people who like to play mind game like when im with them and we talk then they like to fire a message off to hubs saying things like well your mrs said this n that thinking ive told him nothing as if they want trouble but shock horror hubs just thinks its funny as i tell him everything some people are dangerous and vindictive maybe jealous of what some couples have.

Thank you for your honesty Jen surrounding this issue. People can be vindictive and dangerous and this is precisely one of my major reservations about meeting separately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if a couple has no trust or no trust from one side then this lifestyle is not for them simple as that ... swinging is built on trust hence why so many dont make it as they use it to try and repair there sex lives if your sex life is broken between two of you how the hell do you expect it to be ok with more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, it does happen. My ex had guys messaging her after trying to be intimate etc. It's often guys who don't get or understand the dynamic of the couple that they're meeting. The old "if she was my girlfriend, I wouldn't let her..." is symptomatic of that.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for your honesty Jen surrounding this issue. People can be vindictive and dangerous and this is precisely one of my major reservations about meeting separately

you must do what you want nobody is the same and as in all walks of life there are sharks everywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if a couple has no trust or no trust from one side then this lifestyle is not for them simple as that ... swinging is built on trust hence why so many dont make it as they use it to try and repair there sex lives if your sex life is broken between two of you how the hell do you expect it to be ok with more"

If me and my husband didn’t trust each other 100% then we wouldn’t be here. Swinging has had no affect on our trust or our relationship really - just for a time, while he was at working I’d maybe fuck someone else. Then he’d come home and fuck me, and it was lovely. I did only meet about 20 times overall, and only met three other men.

They had no contact with my husband (I’m unsure why they would) and nothing vindictive ever happened. And even if it did, it wouldn’t matter as our trust is solid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They had no contact with my husband (I’m unsure why they would) and nothing vindictive ever happened. And even if it did, it wouldn’t matter as our trust is solid.

yep solid relationships is the key knowing each other inside out love trust ....

its why i never understand those people who ask quesions on the forums about how they get there wife to do this n that or husbands ??? amazes me how many people actually dont know there partners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit.

Tea

Sorry I known I'm nit picking about the negatives but these are things that pop in my noggin.

Would you feel like shit for putting her in that position or would you simply feel it's a case of "well if you love me, you'd trust me? If you really knew me, you'd know I'd not so those things?"

Coz she heard that plenty times whilst being lied to in the past by others.

Hm okay so I think if I was having those doubts (finding it hard to trust even as much as I wanted to) and C tried the whole ‘well if you loved me you’d trust me’ I’d probably feel a bit shit and call a stop (even if temporary) to swinging so we can work on things. I wouldn’t feel comfortable if there was even the slightest of doubts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They had no contact with my husband (I’m unsure why they would) and nothing vindictive ever happened. And even if it did, it wouldn’t matter as our trust is solid.

yep solid relationships is the key knowing each other inside out love trust ....

its why i never understand those people who ask quesions on the forums about how they get there wife to do this n that or husbands ??? amazes me how many people actually dont know there partners"

Baffles me as well, but I guess unless they’re in a relationship like this they’ll never know. I get loads of messages asking if my husband ‘is enough’ for me, if he’s shit in bed, is he a cuck, am I actually just a cheater etc. So odd.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

On a bit of a tangent it’s one of the reasons I am single (I am sure you can all make a list of the numerous other reasons).

I still “date” but I make it very clear early on (before it develops) that I have chosen this lifestyle and if that’s not for them, then it’s not going to work. Unsurprisingly this tends to end things (

) but rather than abject horror I find a lot of women are intrigued and ask questions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have a cpls profile and a single one for Mrs as we line the hotwife / stag / vixen lifestyle

Works fir us as a single fem will get more mail and Mrs can chat away to guys she likes

On cpls we chat to all and would meet as cpl x

What do you get from it if/when she meets alone? Is it a sense of pride? Excitement of what she will come home and tell you? "

I love watching HW play , listening , taking pics then claim back sex is awesome x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for your honesty Jen surrounding this issue. People can be vindictive and dangerous and this is precisely one of my major reservations about meeting separately

Why are you considering meeting separately if it's already making you worry?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fake profiles?

One half of a couple tolerating the sexual preferences of the other?

They actually like it that way?"

Just this x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone, I hit too busy to keep replying but it's certainly an interesting read.

I find it fascinating here because there is such a diverse range of things people are looking for and why.

Fingers crossed we all continue to find it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks everyone, I hit too busy to keep replying but it's certainly an interesting read.

I find it fascinating here because there is such a diverse range of things people are looking for and why.

Fingers crossed we all continue to find it! "

*got

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for your honesty Jen surrounding this issue. People can be vindictive and dangerous and this is precisely one of my major reservations about meeting separately

Why are you considering meeting separately if it's already making you worry? "

It's not something that I want to do, not now at least, but I know it's something B would like and wants to do in the future. I think for me to be completely comfortable with it I need more than we have at the moment, time wise especially.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are a couple and as the male part I only partake in MMF not interested in sleeping with others, it was always a fantasy of mine to see wife with other men, I take great pleasure in seeing her and joining in, I haven't played with another woman nor do I have any interest of doing so xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit.

Fuck that! Get a dishwasher. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes!

It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive.

Definitely, women are in high demand here! "

On a side issue, they are, but it's harder for them to get decent meets than a well executed appealing single male profile I've found, as he'd have a circle of regular ladies he'd see plus new ladies contacting him would be in a few enough number to manage and make holding conversations and getting to know them and decide if they were for him simple enough.

Whereas a single lady's profile would have 100s of messages a day pouring in and it would be bloody impossible to keep track!

And to follow on from our earlier post, yes the lack of time we get together does inflammate the notion. tbf, though so far it's not been an issue for us anyway as our own indulgences together are wonderful for me anyway?

And to the guy who said he wouldn't get much response if he posted "male half meeting alone" on their couples profile, he'd probably have more success posting a meet of such a nature on a single male's profile as it happens as apart from some who didn't know the pair in question thinking such a status indicated a bullshit profile of a man pretending to be a couple ladies would probably be more interested in meeting a guy without the possibility of the lady of the couple flipping out or having to seek her approval as well first?

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was?

What does the other person get out of it?

Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? "

We meet together or not at all.

M does have a singles profile but really only uses it for forum socials and toss about on the threads.

He's of that age where he's not really at the top of anyone's "want to meet" list.

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