FabSwingers.com forum: Struggles of a first meet

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone else just not know what to say, who to message, what they’re into or even just how to set up your profile to be attractive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No...but I’m a woman

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

No.....but I’m a bisexual man.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

[Removed by poster at 06/08/19 21:43:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/08/19 21:41:19]

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

No but I'm a ....Tgirl

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nope I'm a single guy."

I’m also a single guy, seem to just get my messages deleted or ignored currently even just saying hello

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By *irl1234xxxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

No, I don’t message anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.. but I'm an asshole

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

Removed by single guy at 06/08/19 21:43:57

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope I'm a single guy.

I’m also a single guy, seem to just get my messages deleted or ignored currently even just saying hello"

I think it happens to us all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is hard and no I don't mean my todger

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/introductions/910950

I wrote this. It might help

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

No but I'm past caring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope I'm a single guy.

I’m also a single guy, seem to just get my messages deleted or ignored currently even just saying hello

I think it happens to us all. "

It doesn’t

OP you’re also very young.

Are you ensuring that your profile is selling yourself?

Are you messaging people who would meet men your age?

Are your photos varied, attractive, interesting etc?

Are you messaging people who are local-ish to you?

Are your messages interesting, not basic, not bland, not crude etc? Are you referencing their profile in your message?

Look at your profile; there’s a bucket tone of men on here so you need to stand out. Would you meet you, based on your profile?

Hope it all goes well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nope I'm a single guy.

I’m also a single guy, seem to just get my messages deleted or ignored currently even just saying hello

I think it happens to us all.

It doesn’t

OP you’re also very young.

Are you ensuring that your profile is selling yourself?

Are you messaging people who would meet men your age?

Are your photos varied, attractive, interesting etc?

Are you messaging people who are local-ish to you?

Are your messages interesting, not basic, not bland, not crude etc? Are you referencing their profile in your message?

Look at your profile; there’s a bucket tone of men on here so you need to stand out. Would you meet you, based on your profile?

Hope it all goes well.

Thank you for that, will have an update the next day or so with the profile I think!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope I'm a single guy.

I’m also a single guy, seem to just get my messages deleted or ignored currently even just saying hello

I think it happens to us all.

It doesn’t

OP you’re also very young.

Are you ensuring that your profile is selling yourself?

Are you messaging people who would meet men your age?

Are your photos varied, attractive, interesting etc?

Are you messaging people who are local-ish to you?

Are your messages interesting, not basic, not bland, not crude etc? Are you referencing their profile in your message?

Look at your profile; there’s a bucket tone of men on here so you need to stand out. Would you meet you, based on your profile?

Hope it all goes well.

Thank you for that, will have an update the next day or so with the profile I think!"

Good luck

It can be tough for men on here but there are plenty of very successful men on here. Have a look at some successful men’s profiles and get some ideas (don’t just copy them).

Your age would also put many people off as you’re so young; but there’s plenty of successful young men, so it’s very doable

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By *rith47Man
over a year ago

Erith

Totally agree with Her Majesty, your profile will improve with her guidance and your underwear will ripped off soon after. ps nice cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stopped sending first messages and focused on creating a memorable profile with decent pictures that conveyed some of my personality. I also set about creating a Fab presence that conveyed how I wanted to be on here.

I deliberately didn’t meet anyone but concentrated on building online friendships with people I liked. I think the approach plaid dividends because I have attracted exactly the people I wanted.

I nearly blew it when I decided I wanted to meet again as I tried too hard and became a bit impatient. This didn’t work and put people off.

I’ve reverted to simply being me again and not pushing to meet.

Whatever happens now who knows....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just get rid of that bog in your pictures gallery. It's not attractive at all.

Otherwise good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I don’t message anyone

No need to, have you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just get rid of that bog in your pictures gallery. It's not attractive at all.

Otherwise good luck."

Done and done, thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I stopped sending first messages and focused on creating a memorable profile with decent pictures that conveyed some of my personality. I also set about creating a Fab presence that conveyed how I wanted to be on here.

I deliberately didn’t meet anyone but concentrated on building online friendships with people I liked. I think the approach plaid dividends because I have attracted exactly the people I wanted.

I nearly blew it when I decided I wanted to meet again as I tried too hard and became a bit impatient. This didn’t work and put people off.

I’ve reverted to simply being me again and not pushing to meet.

Whatever happens now who knows...."

Awesome advice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No im a natural

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By *ogerBottomsMan
over a year ago

Aberdare

Get yourself to some socials, OP.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get yourself to some socials, OP. "

Will give this a try soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Play with your profile. Take advice.. try different photos. Focus on your more attractive features.

It's much the same as online dating. People are looking for compatible personalities as well as compatible bodies.

Be true to yourself, sell you as you are, not what you think people want.

Avoid talking about sex until it occurs naturally in conversation.

The Forum can be good if you have things to say. It can be bad if you're not so great at getting it across. It's a good way of opening conversations with others who use it, though quite a few forum users prefer In-Forum replies rather than an inbox full of forum related messages from strangers.

Most womens, couples, TV/TS and hung top gay/bi men are inundated by the masses of men on here. So yours has to stand out to attract attention in the sea of Amarillo.

Even the message header and first line - given that's all they'll likely read. If its "Hey, how are you" It'll read exactly like every other message with an average sized cock on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt want to be a man on here. Unless for the obvious joy of a willy to play with. No doubt I would be bored of it after the hundredth time of making it go 'pop' though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldnt want to be a man on here. Unless for the obvious joy of a willy to play with. No doubt I would be bored of it after the hundredth time of making it go 'pop' though. "

You wouldn't.. trust me. But you're welcome to borrow mine to test out your theory..

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By *asilForty77Man
over a year ago

a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road

Your best bet imo is go to a club expect nothing socialise and if something does then bonus a cubs and cougars night would be good for a young buck such as yourself.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

You need make sure that you compose an eloquent message that is worth replying too.....

Start off with something like....

“Can I tongue punch you in your fart box”

You will find yourself fist deep in clunge by the end of the week.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldnt want to be a man on here. Unless for the obvious joy of a willy to play with. No doubt I would be bored of it after the hundredth time of making it go 'pop' though.

You wouldn't.. trust me. But you're welcome to borrow mine to test out your theory.."

Ooh thankyou, I'll warm my hands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope I'm a single guy.

I’m also a single guy, seem to just get my messages deleted or ignored currently even just saying hello

I think it happens to us all.

It doesn’t

OP you’re also very young.

Are you ensuring that your profile is selling yourself?

Are you messaging people who would meet men your age?

Are your photos varied, attractive, interesting etc?

Are you messaging people who are local-ish to you?

Are your messages interesting, not basic, not bland, not crude etc? Are you referencing their profile in your message?

Look at your profile; there’s a bucket tone of men on here so you need to stand out. Would you meet you, based on your profile?

Hope it all goes well.

That's really good advice, for here and just life in general. I'm screenshotting and saving that

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Thing is OP is there really is no magic catch all formula that works for everyone - there's been some very good generic advice offered on this thread that you would do well to take in board - but the real key is finding what works for *YOU* firstly, and then the individuals you are hoping to attract secondly.

Yes having a good profile and pics helps, as does being able to compose a decent message - but have the wrong attitude, expectations or approach will render everything else useless.

Some guys find messaging other people blindly works for them, others find using the forums/chat rooms and buildings presence there is their forte, others might go to socials or clubs - you just need to find what is right for you and your experience of the site will get better.

You do also need to accept that your age will go against you for many people here but that doesn't have to mean it's not possible to get meets either - you just have to find those that would be open to meeting people your age.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thing is OP is there really is no magic catch all formula that works for everyone - there's been some very good generic advice offered on this thread that you would do well to take in board - but the real key is finding what works for *YOU* firstly, and then the individuals you are hoping to attract secondly.

Yes having a good profile and pics helps, as does being able to compose a decent message - but have the wrong attitude, expectations or approach will render everything else useless.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldnt want to be a man on here. Unless for the obvious joy of a willy to play with. No doubt I would be bored of it after the hundredth time of making it go 'pop' though.

You wouldn't.. trust me. But you're welcome to borrow mine to test out your theory..

Ooh thankyou, I'll warm my hands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No but I'm past caring.

That's me

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Best approach is to look through and study other posts, where people have been given lots of advice on how to improve things, to see what resonates with you.

It is typically very tough and slow for you new single men to get established - it's standard, not personal.

People don't generally reply to quick hi type messages and generally read profiles first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else just not know what to say, who to message, what they’re into or even just how to set up your profile to be attractive?

Everyone is different so there is no 1 profile for a all. Occasionally you will click with someone as in real life. Or kiss a 1000 princesses until you find you frog...

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I know we're a couple so we're not in the same boat as you but I would like to give you a bit advice I think many guys might find useful.

Try not actively going out to get meets. We rarely approach people directly. What we do is just chat on the forum. We talk about random shit - things about the world, our lives and our interests.

From time to time a conversation will come off the forum and we'll start talking in PMs. Sometimes a forum flirt will give us an idea that somebody is open to a PM conversation too.

It has turned out on a few occasions that these conversations lead both parties to work out that we get on quite well which leads to suggestions of meeting up.

If you just approach somebody and it's clear you just want to meet, at best they will read your message and look at your profile. If they don't like your profile it's all over. But if you can engage somebody, hold a conversation, be cool, show respect, and make them chuckle, you are in with a fighting chance.

If I were a single guy on here again, that's definitely the way I'd go.

Luke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know we're a couple so we're not in the same boat as you but I would like to give you a bit advice I think many guys might find useful.

Try not actively going out to get meets. We rarely approach people directly. What we do is just chat on the forum. We talk about random shit - things about the world, our lives and our interests.

From time to time a conversation will come off the forum and we'll start talking in PMs. Sometimes a forum flirt will give us an idea that somebody is open to a PM conversation too.

It has turned out on a few occasions that these conversations lead both parties to work out that we get on quite well which leads to suggestions of meeting up.

If I were a single guy on here again, that's definitely the way I'd go.

Luke"

That's exactly right. Doesn't happen as often as some people would wish for ,but it definitely does happen, just like in real life.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I'll give you one other thing for your consideration. When I first saw your username I thought it belonged to a woman. This may be an advantage to you of course but I'm guessing I'm not the only one who misread what is supposed to Slim One as Simone.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I'll give you one other thing for your consideration. When I first saw your username I thought it belonged to a woman. This may be an advantage to you of course but I'm guessing I'm not the only one who misread what is supposed to Slim One as Simone."

You guess right - I did exactly the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be Patient be nice and do things the right way, go to clubs socials and just enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, but I'm playing hard to get. So far its working amazingly well.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, we're proper lazy fabbers, we just let people approach us normally, very rare we message, we shouldn't be so lazy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, but I'm playing hard to get. So far its working amazingly well....."

I can’t play hard to get. I’m already hard to want

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By *exy gentMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

"No, I don’t message anyone

No need to

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"No...but I’m a woman"

No but I'm a man

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"Nope I'm a single guy.

I’m also a single guy, seem to just get my messages deleted or ignored currently even just saying hello"

There you go... you've answered your own question. A message with just hello or something similar, press delete. It looks like you can't be arsed making any effort so that perceived attitude make show itself on the first meet. It may not, but why would we take the chance.

We have met loads of single guys and it's a very, very small percentage that make the effort to put themselves around but they all seem to agree the payback is spectacular. Don't you think that attitude is the same whatever you decide to do.

Have fun.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Tiny, shouldn't need to give it, hint. You become part of the minority of messages when you read the profile and make effort in a message. It's no guarantee, but it'll help.

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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"No.....but I’m a bisexual man. "

No......but I'm a hetrosexual man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No.....but I’m a bisexual man.

No......but I'm a hetrosexual man."
where does fab straight land in this??

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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"No.....but I’m a bisexual man.

No......but I'm a hetrosexual man. where does fab straight land in this??

North of me and somewhere south of him?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh dear! Not what I had hoped with the name ahah! Will be looking for a club or social meet nearby this week, thanks all for the great advice

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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs

No one knows

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