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Adventure opportunities...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As a teacher there are very little job opportunities in my area. After talking with a friend about the prospect of moving further afield, i have found a job that excites me. The issue is that it is Berlin. I am very excited and talked it through with mat who is overjoyed, even though he would not be joining me due to his research. This is the idea though, while he is doing that, i could get the money and experience for a year or two then move back.

However, i dont think my parents will want me to leave. It was hard for them when i moved in with mat, but they knew i would be safe. In Berlin i will start off alone.

Whilst i know the decision lies with me and i know most of you are 'strangers' you are still people whom i enjoy listening to and theeefore would like to ask for advice.

What would you do?

Sarah xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I have yet to come across any long distance relationship that work.

That would be my main concern.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

But they already have a stable relationship, they're not building one, just changing things for a set time.

I know a couple where one went travelling for six months while the.other couldn't go due to work reasons. That worked out (married, kids now).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well we have been apart for almost 2 years before when i had finished university and he stayed for his phd so that's not an issue and we would see eachother every fortnight as hed come to berlin or i would come home as id visit family too. Its a 2 hour flight so not too far

xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Weve gone two months without physical contact... it gets tough when you need a cuddle but its manageable. Its to help us build our future and allow us to settle down quicker as it would provide me, hopefully, with more opportunities. My main concern is my family xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it a chance in a lifetime or just a whim?

Having worked away for years and travelling I only came home at weekends but found it worked ok for us but it was and could be lonely at times.

You will be away for a long time and will have little physical contact with each other, could you both live with that?

How would you both keep in touch with each other with busy work lives? How would you spend the free time while apart?

Weigh every pro and con up you can think of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dynamics of a relationship, no matter how strong or stable, can still be changed, depending on the nature of the change factors, IMHO.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"

My main concern is my family xxx"

If you are 2 hrs away from him, you are 2 hrs away from your family.

Of course they will worry - thats part of their job description - but in this day and age you can talk to them every day on the phone, skype etc and as soon as they know you are safe and settled Im sure they will support you all the way...

If they are anything like my family they will worry and miss you, but support you in making the most of a great opportunity and experience.

Hope it all works out for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all for your replies it means alot.

Like i said though, me and mat have lived apart for almost 2 years until recently when we moved in recently. Whilst i understand the dynamics will change and agree completely with Pearl, i can rest easy knowing we have done it before. If i ever thought our relationship was taking a turn for the worse i would move back home without a second thought.

Im just being curious and wondering what you all would do xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck, whatever you'd decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go for it Sarah your 23yrs old with the whole world at your feet and your whole life ahead of you.

When I was 16 I was going to join the British Army. Mi mam wouldnt sign me over on the last min as I was under 18yrs old and needed her permission. She didnt want me to go and tucked me back under the apron strings instead.

When I was 22yrs old it was always in the back of my mind what if what if what if. So I went and joined and had the best 6yrs of my life.

When I left the Army I was offered a chance to go see a m8 in a town called Windsor near Paramatta and Sydney NSW Australia. Again I thought hmmm maybe maybe not but then I thought I dont want to end up what if what if in another fews years. So having the confidence the Army had given me I booked a flight and went on my own.

Or as Peter Kay would say booked it packed it and F....D off to Sydney were I had a fantastic time and met my ex mrs over there who returned with me to England for a while but couldnt be arsed with all the rain and cold weather after 6months. So did a Mrs Kay on me leaving a dera John on the telly. haha

Point is Sarah you have to treat these little adventures as chances to open your eyes and broadern your horrizons.

Live a little Sarah as you never no whats around the corner and you dont want to end up in 10 r 20yrs time stuck in a rutt saying oooooow if only I had gone to Berlin or if only this if only that.

lol dont talk about hun JUST DO IT x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By the way I spent the best 12months ever of my life over in Australia. Tho at the time I did not no that you could only do 3months working in one state on the 12months working visa lol. Imagration just loved me

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

I worked in Russia for a year, not going to pretend it was easy and it was most definately lonely at times,(there were only 25 international telephone lines in the city and it was impossible to call home durinmg the week and you just kept dialing at weekends until eventually you got a line) but I have to say I grew up in that time and realised/learnt alot about other cultures.

I would say give it a go if nothing else it will look good on your c.v. when applying for jobs in the future.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

all i heard was threesome...

am in

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all again. Its suprising just what good listening to others can do to your confidence.

Thankfully we have msn and skype so i could phone home and mat daily, even if its just for ten mins before bed

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"all i heard was threesome...

am in"

if in doubt son if in doubt get stuck in I say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

GOOOOOOOOOOO you are young experience life get out there and try everything ,you can always return home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say it depends on what kind of person you are and deep down you know whether you want this opportunity.

If you are ambitious and want to further your career and have this experience, then go for it. You are young, Berlin is not the other side of the world, its easily accessible, you can keep in constant contact with your family, living abroad will force you into independence, as you will have to communicate well to make new acquaintances, and it could be the dream job, a fantastic opportunity that you will love and gain great job satisfaction from.

Or you could stay and keep looking for a similar opportunity near home, maybe feeling frustrated if it doesn't appear. But you will have your partner and family close by, keep your strong comfort zone but perhaps in time regretting the missed opportunity.

I have changed careers quite a few times because I got bored, and I'm doing so again. I have to have job satisfaction and I like new and exciting. Its harder as I'm getting older, studying and passing exams gets harder as my brain is slower I'm sure. If I was young I'd want to be doing so much more.

With the right approach and a well thought out plan and honest communication, it could be a good thing. Again its down to you as a person, are you ambitious enough to want to go for something like that, or are you happier within your comfort zone of partner and family close. Loneliness may be a factor to consider, as well as the impact on a relationship, it would be an additional pressure but not necessarily a negative one. Let's face it, if a relationship isn't strong enough, distance is immaterial.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would say it depends on what kind of person you are and deep down you know whether you want this opportunity.

If you are ambitious and want to further your career and have this experience, then go for it. You are young, Berlin is not the other side of the world, its easily accessible, you can keep in constant contact with your family, living abroad will force you into independence, as you will have to communicate well to make new acquaintances, and it could be the dream job, a fantastic opportunity that you will love and gain great job satisfaction from.

Or you could stay and keep looking for a similar opportunity near home, maybe feeling frustrated if it doesn't appear. But you will have your partner and family close by, keep your strong comfort zone but perhaps in time regretting the missed opportunity.

I have changed careers quite a few times because I got bored, and I'm doing so again. I have to have job satisfaction and I like new and exciting. Its harder as I'm getting older, studying and passing exams gets harder as my brain is slower I'm sure. If I was young I'd want to be doing so much more.

With the right approach and a well thought out plan and honest communication, it could be a good thing. Again its down to you as a person, are you ambitious enough to want to go for something like that, or are you happier within your comfort zone of partner and family close. Loneliness may be a factor to consider, as well as the impact on a relationship, it would be an additional pressure but not necessarily a negative one. Let's face it, if a relationship isn't

strong enough, distance is immaterial.

"

Thank you. I want to go i really do its just i know my dad will see it as abandoning him. I think im going to apply and see what happens xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a new job in 1995 which meant I had to relocate to Cornwall. We couldn't sell our house so Kate stayed in the Black Country, and I travelled back every weekend.

We did this for 18 months until we sold our house.

Our situation isn't like yours, but we had 2 young lads at the time and it was a difficult time for Kate, but we got through it.

At the same time, my father was in the final throes of a terminal illness, so there were a number of issues pressurizing the situation.

It all depends how strong your relationship is with your partner and your family, and how strong your personal ambition, drive and commitment to those are.

Good luck, but you can have your cake and eat it, if you go about it the right way.

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