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Well that was daft!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Ok .. what did you do

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Fractured my ankle in three places tripping on a step. I didn't even fall over or anything. Completely sober also.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok .. what did you do "

I’m trying to think but I’ve taken co-codamol so my head is a bit woozy

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Oh there isn't the bandwidth to tell of all my dumb ass calamities. Probably the most embarrassing was strutting off a club bed, missing the step and twisting my ankle on the very ungracious topple down. Of course there was an audience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just fell down the stairs reading this thread and not paying attention

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Someone I used to work with was d*unk on a night out and walking home with her pals. Needed a wee and they went past public toilets which had been closed down, but you could get in through the window. Kids used to go there and do dodgy shit...

Anyway, she was d*unk and sat on a toilet to pee. Didn’t realise the toilet seat had been smashed....she needed surgery on her fanny

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Too many to list!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ironically by wearing safety equipment, I was cutting wood using a bench circular saw and I thought wearing gloves would be responsible but apparently that's the worse thing you can do!! The gloves caught in the saw, drag my hand in and I nearly lost three fingers!

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By *MP3Man
over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis

It's hard to pick the daftest way I've been injured when there's so many incidents of inaminate objects turning against me after 1, 2 or 8 pints of Guinness.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

Fell on a knife sticking up in the dishwasher that was used to carve lamb for Sunday dinner. I have a beautiful scar on my shin now and still after 21 years I get twinges where the knife went in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chemical burns on my vaj after leaving Veet on for too long.

Lesson learned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fell on a knife sticking up in the dishwasher that was used to carve lamb for Sunday dinner. I have a beautiful scar on my shin now and still after 21 years I get twinges where the knife went in"

Being a Doc I could look at that for you, if you like?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

God my memory is awful atm, I’m sure I’ll think of something better

I bought a new mascara and couldn’t get the plastic off of it to open it. So got a knife and tried to cut it off, slipped and it sliced my whole finger open. From nail to knuckle

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By *MP3Man
over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis


"Chemical burns on my vaj after leaving Veet on for too long.

Lesson learned. "

Oooft! And that was just my reaction to your profile pic Boldy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Managed to deck it on perfectly fine flooring outside a pub in broad daylight, completely sober on a first date with a guy from work, fractured my arm (as I found out the next day) I hit the ground that hard that it turned my stomach and I immediately projectile vommited my date nervously laughed but then picked me up. However I just brushed it off, cleaned myself up and cracked on with the date, drank through the pain like a absolute trooper he thought I was fine but I was nursing a fractured arm all night. Didn't date him again (amazingly my choice) but saw him everyday at work *cringe*

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I tripped over a carpet thread entering my living room after going to the loo and broke my ankle

I’ve also stood on a garden rake, got clobbered, staggered, fell onto my nan’s back door step and broke my arm.

Big feet see, get me into all sorts of bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chemical burns on my vaj after leaving Veet on for too long.

Lesson learned.

Oooft! And that was just my reaction to your profile pic Boldy "

x

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here


"Fell on a knife sticking up in the dishwasher that was used to carve lamb for Sunday dinner. I have a beautiful scar on my shin now and still after 21 years I get twinges where the knife went in

Being a Doc I could look at that for you, if you like? "

Is it scientifically proven that a kiss better would help?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

C once dropped a laptop on my head and I was concussed for a wee while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Falling down a gutter getting out my car... not the sexist look

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here


"Chemical burns on my vaj after leaving Veet on for too long.

Lesson learned. "

I’ve done that too, I won’t touch the stuff now. Was fairly recent too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crossing the road, kicked the curb and broke 2 toes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably snapping my banjo string the first time I ever used a condom, because I’d put it on wrong. Bloody mess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No-one would ever actually want to know!! but it's quicker for me to list the bones I haven't broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol i know a guy who done the same lol .the blood was pouring out. The bedroom looked like a butcher's shop lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fell on a knife sticking up in the dishwasher that was used to carve lamb for Sunday dinner. I have a beautiful scar on my shin now and still after 21 years I get twinges where the knife went in

Being a Doc I could look at that for you, if you like?

Is it scientifically proven that a kiss better would help?"

You are right of course but a thorough examination and further "treatment" would probably be the best medicine.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here


"Fell on a knife sticking up in the dishwasher that was used to carve lamb for Sunday dinner. I have a beautiful scar on my shin now and still after 21 years I get twinges where the knife went in

Being a Doc I could look at that for you, if you like?

Is it scientifically proven that a kiss better would help?

You are right of course but a thorough examination and further "treatment" would probably be the best medicine. "

Bloody good job you’re around, what would we do without you??

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Sometimes when i’m in bed and i’m perving Fab i hold my phone up in the air to stretch out my arms, and i’ve accidentally dropped the phone on my face. Suprisingly painful.

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

At 13 I sliced my thumb open on a knife pointing upwards while stroppily loading the dishwasher. The night before I'd planned to buy a PSone.

At uni I trapped my big toe in a trampoline bed, only a sprain but it was agony when gravity became apparent after sleeping with it suspended. Saw an incredibly camp Dr the next day. He asked 'ooh, trampolining - is it simply pllleaasssurable?' Then when I left said 'have a wonderful life.'

Again at uni, pissed, jumping from one to the next of those little wooden posts in flip flops, one was angled and slimy, knackered my foot. Powered through. Cheap wine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fell on a knife sticking up in the dishwasher that was used to carve lamb for Sunday dinner. I have a beautiful scar on my shin now and still after 21 years I get twinges where the knife went in

Being a Doc I could look at that for you, if you like?

Is it scientifically proven that a kiss better would help?

You are right of course but a thorough examination and further "treatment" would probably be the best medicine.

Bloody good job you’re around, what would we do without you??"

I do have a select private practice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst d*unk I went for a pee behind a Bush, toppled over and fell head first onto the ground and cut my head open! Had 18 stiches and still have the scar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes when i’m in bed and i’m perving Fab i hold my phone up in the air to stretch out my arms, and i’ve accidentally dropped the phone on my face. Suprisingly painful."

Too much cider or perry me thinks!

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By *ancsUpForFunMan
over a year ago

Morecambe


"Sometimes when i’m in bed and i’m perving Fab i hold my phone up in the air to stretch out my arms, and i’ve accidentally dropped the phone on my face. Suprisingly painful."

Why does it always fall so the corner of the phone hits you smack in the eye!! . Or is that just me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes when i’m in bed and i’m perving Fab i hold my phone up in the air to stretch out my arms, and i’ve accidentally dropped the phone on my face. Suprisingly painful."

Iv done this many times.

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I kneed myself in the face while doing the long jump at school and dislocated my nose

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I fell off a wall recently and swore profusely

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By *ancsUpForFunMan
over a year ago

Morecambe

Does scratching down below after chopping loads of scotch bonnet chillies to make sauce count as an injury?

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By *eamgreen30Couple
over a year ago

stroud

I fell off my bed and managed to cause one the most significant sports injuries ever lol. Dislocated my knee while fracturing the cap down the center along with pulling all the muscles and tendons surrounding it

Got a beautiful scar for the pleasure lol

S xx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm sleeping on the floor and only moving if I have to reading the shit that happens to you lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got shot in the leg that was pretty stupid not badly was straight through but ruined my day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was selling a band saw on eBay the day the guy came round went to show him it working went to turn it on and it never started. Like an idiot I opened it up and all of a sudden it started. My index finger was opened up like a banana and I Felt very queasy

My loving wife asked the guy if he was still buying it as I rushed to clean my finger up. The guy bought the saw and I went to A&E lol

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By *sgigglersCouple
over a year ago

Stoke on Trent

A very heavy peacock ornament once broke my nose & gave me two black eyes. It was above our headboard & launched itself at me during a particularly energetic bed session.

The bed looked like a murder had taken place! D had to run round to our friendly nurse that lived next door in his dressing gown, covered in blood. She came round in her dressing gown and also left covered in blood. To this day I wonder what the neighbours made of it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Laying on bed years ago and one of my feet went to sleep, the doorbell went so jumped up to go answer it and snapped my ankle

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Wasn't looking where I was going and stepped off a teeny tiny step in a swingers club and broke my foot, I hobbled round all night on it then finally caved and went to the hospital. I didn't fall or anything, just stepped on it and it broke, the doctor said it must have been at a funny angle (my foot, not the step).

I still went out with my foot in the boot too, admittedly that was a few weeks later when I ditched the crutches.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ice skating...fell over hands out stretched and some chubby little kid skated straight over my finger...that hurt a bit...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A mate was hit by a randomer on a night out years ago, he was probably mouthing to be fair. As he was trying to convince our crowd to go after the guy who had run off, and as I was trying to convince them otherwise as I didn't want the 10 of us jumping one guy, the guy had run up a one way street and came back down swinging a rake. As I felt I was the soberest and as the guy kept coming I felt I was the right person to calm the situation. The guy wouldn't listen to sense and walked towards me swinging this big rake. I thought I would wait till he's swung the thing and as it goes back the way before the next swing I would step in and take it off the guy and send him on his way. I stepped in at the wrong time, because I was d*unk like the rest of the group, and the rake punctured the side of my head and the left side of my chest and hung from me until the ambulance arrived. That was probably my most stupid self caused injury.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

I had a very embarrassing one that could have been really serious with a girlfriend ( yes girl) and a sex toy

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I once slipped in the bath and fell down on a bottle of mr bubbles. Turned out to be bit so bad after I wedged it out

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I broke my big toe. I was running to my then very young daughter because she screamed at seeing an extreamly small spider. I tripped over my front door step. Doh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s so many.....

Shouted hello to someone across the road while walking, turned back round to face plant a lamppost. Claret everywhere.

Thought I could fix something with a penknife (long time ago), just as I was in full stabbing mode, the penknife closed and nearly cut my finger off.

Stepping off the last rung of a ladder, getting it completely wrong and somehow snapping my ankle ligament.

But probably the most dumbass, was having a digit ripped off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Earlier this year out walking and git distracted by a very cute bulldog puppy. Failed to notice the massive hole in front of me until I put my foot in it and ended up on the floor. To this day I don't know how I ended up with just a chipped bone and not a badly broken ankle.

On a plus point the puppy was so excited to see an idiot human lying on the floor all it wanted to do was play with me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probly dropping a telly on my toe and braking it about 15 years back im normally lucky with injurys

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Week 6 in to the C25K thing - started getting a bit cocky and not looking where I was running. Fell over a twig and broke my ankle. Not a branch. I tripped over a twig.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I carried a watermelon

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

When I was working a saturday job in an independent auto spares shop I seriously injured my right hand. It was busy and I needed to get wiper blades from storage that was on the very top of the shelving. The shelving is the kind that is made up of angle iron that is bolted together to form shelves. So I hurriedly climbed the ladder but forgot to put the ever so important cross bar in place. At the top of the ladder the bottom slid out from beneath me and I grabbed on to the shelves. I ended up taking an inch long strip of skin from my ring finger, lacerations to to the tendons on my middle finger and superficial lacerations to my other digits.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Naked bush diving

Didn't notice the thorns in said bush. Alcohol was involved.

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By *eamgreen30Couple
over a year ago

stroud


"There’s so many.....

Shouted hello to someone across the road while walking, turned back round to face plant a lamppost. Claret everywhere.

Thought I could fix something with a penknife (long time ago), just as I was in full stabbing mode, the penknife closed and nearly cut my finger off.

Stepping off the last rung of a ladder, getting it completely wrong and somehow snapping my ankle ligament.

But probably the most dumbass, was having a digit ripped off "

You sound as clumsy as me lol. Which digit did you lose tho???

S x

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

My life is a catologue of ridiculous disasters & WTF moments

Last year, stood on a friends balcony watching the Pride carnival.

I spotted someone I know on a float, jumped up to wave to him, totaly forgot I was 2 floors up & ran to hug him... Luckily I had a soft landing into a large rubbish bin put out for the day.

My ego was very bruised though

Running through my mums patio doors, the first time I busted her new bungalow was probably the most expensive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m really clever at injuries. I permanently injured my left ankle falling out of a shower.

Endless broken bones just being clumsy. It’s a skill- Mrs

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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent


"I carried a watermelon "

I wanna be vulnerable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could write you a list Queenie...

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Damn near ch oked to death on a pickled onion monster munch.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I've had time to think and these are some of mine.

Someone slammed a car door with my finger in it, I didn't even notice until I tried to walk away and couldn't, dunno how it wasn't severed to be honest, I've got a lovely scar all the way round the top of my finger though.

I once fell into a thorn bush and my mum had to pull a thorn out that was stuck in my bum cheek.

I was d*unk and tried to break up a group of lads fighting, they knocked me over and I fell onto a rock wall, fracturing my coccyx (that was probably the most painful one).

When I was younger (about 12) I baked my mum a birthday cake, she worked nights so she was in bed. I got the cake out of the oven and held it underneath, the outer bit of the cake tin slid down my arm and burnt my forearm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1992: Running down a hill, during a paintball free-for-all - slipped on mud and slammed into a barrier.

Broke 3 ribs, collarbone, punctured lung, ripped my intercostals... and it still hurts to lie on my front, 27 years later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just poked myself in the eye scratching my beard

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Someone I used to work with was d*unk on a night out and walking home with her pals. Needed a wee and they went past public toilets which had been closed down, but you could get in through the window. Kids used to go there and do dodgy shit...

Anyway, she was d*unk and sat on a toilet to pee. Didn’t realise the toilet seat had been smashed....she needed surgery on her fanny"
You do have some interesting friends

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I seem to be in a minority in that I've never broken a single bone in my body ever . Infact I cant think of a serious injury I've had . I feel boring now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s so many.....

Shouted hello to someone across the road while walking, turned back round to face plant a lamppost. Claret everywhere.

Thought I could fix something with a penknife (long time ago), just as I was in full stabbing mode, the penknife closed and nearly cut my finger off.

Stepping off the last rung of a ladder, getting it completely wrong and somehow snapping my ankle ligament.

But probably the most dumbass, was having a digit ripped off

You sound as clumsy as me lol. Which digit did you lose tho???

S x "

Ring finger, right hand. Not my proudest moment. And yes, super clumsy

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