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Grief and sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This is a hard one to explain.

I have just lost my dear father-in-law, such a lovely man, and it's heart breaking. Needless to say, my Mrs is totally destroyed. It's difficult to console her.

We hadn't had sex for years, but the other night she asked me (in tears) into her bed for a cuddle (we sleep in separate bedrooms). I was naked and she in bra and knickers. We cuddled and kissed passionately, one thing led to another, and we made each other cum.

It was so horny and erotic, and I didn't expect it. It was lovely.

Has anyone else experienced this during the loss of a loved one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, but from what I understand, it’s a common thing.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I think you need reassurance that you are loved and enjoy the physical presence of the person closest to you at times of stress ..to celebrate the fact that you are still alive and enjoying life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes after step dad died I spent a full weekend with a previous Fwb. I needed something to numb the pain

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you need reassurance that you are loved and enjoy the physical presence of the person closest to you at times of stress ..to celebrate the fact that you are still alive and enjoying life"
That's a lovely way of looking at it, I think you're right.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes after step dad died I spent a full weekend with a previous Fwb. I needed something to numb the pain"
She may have felt the same way Belle, whatever it was, it was very close and intense. X

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By *llenGTWoman
over a year ago

East/West Mids

[Removed by poster at 02/08/19 10:00:06]

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By *llenGTWoman
over a year ago

East/West Mids


"This is a hard one to explain.

I have just lost my dear father-in-law, such a lovely man, and it's heart breaking. Needless to say, my Mrs is totally destroyed. It's difficult to console her.

We hadn't had sex for years, but the other night she asked me (in tears) into her bed for a cuddle (we sleep in separate bedrooms). I was naked and she in bra and knickers. We cuddled and kissed passionately, one thing led to another, and we made each other cum.

It was so horny and erotic, and I didn't expect it. It was lovely.

Has anyone else experienced this during the loss of a loved one? "

Absolutely. When my father died. It was a traumatic death. I left the hospital. Walked in the house and stripped. And pretty much ordered my husband to fuck me. Not sure if was about feeling ‘life’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s why everyone gets at it at funerals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes OP. She turned to you in her hour of need and it’s beautiful that you accepted her offer. I hope you don’t get hurt now if she returns to her normal ways...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so sorry for her loss, I understand this as well. It is the need to feel alive, to feel loved and close because the emptiness is hard. I’m glad you were there for her and maybe it sparks something that carries on happening. Loss can change us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is my go to distraction whenever I feel sad or overwhelmed emotionally.

It's often super intense during those times, it's a release of sorts.

A beautiful moment you both shared, as said above though, I hope no one gets hurt if things return to normal.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Aww bless you.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes OP. She turned to you in her hour of need and it’s beautiful that you accepted her offer. I hope you don’t get hurt now if she returns to her normal ways... "
Me too. I keep hoping for another 'cuddle', but would hate myself for preying on her emotions x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is a hard one to explain.

I have just lost my dear father-in-law, such a lovely man, and it's heart breaking. Needless to say, my Mrs is totally destroyed. It's difficult to console her.

We hadn't had sex for years, but the other night she asked me (in tears) into her bed for a cuddle (we sleep in separate bedrooms). I was naked and she in bra and knickers. We cuddled and kissed passionately, one thing led to another, and we made each other cum.

It was so horny and erotic, and I didn't expect it. It was lovely.

Has anyone else experienced this during the loss of a loved one?

Absolutely. When my father died. It was a traumatic death. I left the hospital. Walked in the house and stripped. And pretty much ordered my husband to fuck me. Not sure if was about feeling ‘life’. "
Omg!I bet he wondered if he'd got the right house! Lol x

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By *ouis CyphreMan
over a year ago

The Midlands

Sorry for you loss OP. The evening my dad passed away. My girlfriend at the time came round and we had, as she put it "the roughest and most passionate sex ever" .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Jo.Xx "
Thank you Jo xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry for you loss OP. The evening my dad passed away. My girlfriend at the time came round and we had, as she put it "the roughest and most passionate sex ever" . "
Thanks Louis, yes it's a strange but wonderful orgasm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a hard one to explain.

I have just lost my dear father-in-law, such a lovely man, and it's heart breaking. Needless to say, my Mrs is totally destroyed. It's difficult to console her.

We hadn't had sex for years, but the other night she asked me (in tears) into her bed for a cuddle (we sleep in separate bedrooms). I was naked and she in bra and knickers. We cuddled and kissed passionately, one thing led to another, and we made each other cum.

It was so horny and erotic, and I didn't expect it. It was lovely.

Has anyone else experienced this during the loss of a loved one? "

Yeah it can happen.

Grief can affect in many ways

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

So sorry for your loss xx

Yes I’ve been there in grief, it just happened, but at the time I needed to feel something completely different than I was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So sorry for your loss xx

Yes I’ve been there in grief, it just happened, but at the time I needed to feel something completely different than I was "

Whilst I (Bubbles) have lost 3 brothers over last eight years, I can, honestly, say I have not felt this way.

However, we are all different.

I recall a scene from the movie, High Fidelity.

John Cussack’s girlfriend, the night of her father’s funeral, gets in his car, and asks for sex. She says “I just want to feel anything but this”...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fact that if most people who purposely kill someone, or are surrounded by death they get aroused sexually, apparently it's all to do with survival of the species.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No, but from what I understand, it’s a common thing. "
yes I've known of it, but not experienced it until now. X

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Sex is a way of expressing emotional energy and a physical manifestation of love it can answer many needs.

I hope that at a later date it sparks a conversation concerning the mutual nature of the above.

Best wishes to you both.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sex is a way of expressing emotional energy and a physical manifestation of love it can answer many needs.

I hope that at a later date it sparks a conversation concerning the mutual nature of the above.

Best wishes to you both. "
Awww thank you. You really do live up to your name. Xx

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By *essons in LustCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield


"I’m so sorry for her loss, I understand this as well. It is the need to feel alive, to feel loved and close because the emptiness is hard. I’m glad you were there for her and maybe it sparks something that carries on happening. Loss can change us. "

It really does !

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Some positive energy is a miserable situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes OP. She turned to you in her hour of need and it’s beautiful that you accepted her offer. I hope you don’t get hurt now if she returns to her normal ways... Me too. I keep hoping for another 'cuddle', but would hate myself for preying on her emotions x"

OP, you don't sound like the kind of person that would do that. Just be there for her.

x N

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes when losing someone and grieving I've always felt i needed the comfort of sex

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Spooky- there’s another similar thread in the advice section

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grief is a form of temporary insanity. All manner of emotions and thoughts come up.

Glad your other felt close enough to connect with you in such a way, when she was soo vulnerable.

Damned relationships soo tricky with no easy answers x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the need to connect plays a part

Last year my then FWB rung me in bits to say his best friend committed suicide.

We spent that weekend together and I saw every emotion from him.

It was meant to be a weekend of just chill time, a time for him to step back, breathe and collect his thoughts, he wanted to be held close and of the inevitable happened, we had sex lots of times but that time was raw, something else entirely, he told me later it was cathartic.

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By *essons in LustCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield


"

I think the need to connect plays a part

Last year my then FWB rung me in bits to say his best friend committed suicide.

We spent that weekend together and I saw every emotion from him.

It was meant to be a weekend of just chill time, a time for him to step back, breathe and collect his thoughts, he wanted to be held close and of the inevitable happened, we had sex lots of times but that time was raw, something else entirely, he told me later it was cathartic."

Yes I can imagine x

Going through something similar after losing a very beloved young family member and the grief is absolutely horrendous

It’s very confusing to be devastated and on here !

Like your feelings don’t match your actions but even this thread is comforting because it makes me feel less crazy x

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"

I think the need to connect plays a part

Last year my then FWB rung me in bits to say his best friend committed suicide.

We spent that weekend together and I saw every emotion from him.

It was meant to be a weekend of just chill time, a time for him to step back, breathe and collect his thoughts, he wanted to be held close and of the inevitable happened, we had sex lots of times but that time was raw, something else entirely, he told me later it was cathartic.

Yes I can imagine x

Going through something similar after losing a very beloved young family member and the grief is absolutely horrendous

It’s very confusing to be devastated and on here !

Like your feelings don’t match your actions but even this thread is comforting because it makes me feel less crazy x "

It isn't crazy and there is a definite link x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The anthropologist Ernest Becker has a few things to say on this point.

I'm completely paraphrasing him here but suggested that the instinctive fight or flight response kicks in in all manner or ways including as a response to the trauma of bereavement.

It's thought that people wanting to have sex after losing someone is like trying to do the opposite and create life, even if that wasn't in any way the intention.

Subconscious sort of stuff and completely normal.

Anyway, lots of love to you and your wife, OP - have felt similar very recently so can relate.

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By *essons in LustCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield


"

I think the need to connect plays a part

Last year my then FWB rung me in bits to say his best friend committed suicide.

We spent that weekend together and I saw every emotion from him.

It was meant to be a weekend of just chill time, a time for him to step back, breathe and collect his thoughts, he wanted to be held close and of the inevitable happened, we had sex lots of times but that time was raw, something else entirely, he told me later it was cathartic.

Yes I can imagine x

Going through something similar after losing a very beloved young family member and the grief is absolutely horrendous

It’s very confusing to be devastated and on here !

Like your feelings don’t match your actions but even this thread is comforting because it makes me feel less crazy x

It isn't crazy and there is a definite link x"

x

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