FabSwingers.com forum: Trust

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

What makes you trust someone.

Is it knowing them for along time and knowing that they havent, wont let you down. Do you go on gut instinct. Coud you trust someone you had just met or do you really need to know someone well.

I dont give my trust lightly usually its knowing someone over a period of time, but i have on the odd occasion gone with my gut instinct.

When i say trust i dont just mean in a sexual context, i mean any context in life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust for me is a long term thing, how did it go when you went on your gut instinct? Were you right? xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trust for me is a long term thing, how did it go when you went on your gut instinct? Were you right? xxx"

I trust you would be a great meet lol

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Trust for me is a long term thing, how did it go when you went on your gut instinct? Were you right? xxx"

yes i was right although its not something that happens very often for me, well in fact rarely

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

That's a good question.

Usually takes me a while to trust someone, it's something they generally have to earn.

But once I have lost trust in someone there is no going back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like you Diamonds, I need time to build up trust. I don't give it lightly.

But there have on occasions, been those times when I trust someone instinctively and couldn't give a valid explanation as to why. xxx

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Like you Diamonds, I need time to build up trust. I don't give it lightly.

But there have on occasions, been those times when I trust someone instinctively and couldn't give a valid explanation as to why. xxx"

Thats exactly what im trying to work out laine. Why ive instinctivly trusted someone when it goes against what i always do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never trust anyone.. family, friends, lovers.. I have one obvious exception... but life has sadly taught me that giving trust leads to heartache.. be it friends or anything.

I can trust in part people over time... but never fully...

However the funny thing is the one person I trust in every sense I did so from the start.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to know someone very well before i can trust them, though some people i meet i just have a feeling i can trust them because they seem straight forward types and they have honest faces, some people have a shifty sly look about them and when they say things, you have a feeling they are lying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's easier to earn a million quid than it is to earn trust.

It's the easiest thing to lose and the hardest thing to gain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, I rely on gut feel/instinct to start with, then seek out supporting evidence to confirm they are right or wrong.

If I lose my trust in someone, it is likely to be forever.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

My instinct hsa served me well so far except on a couple of occasions where the person was very clever and manipulative at gaining my trust. I try and remain open though and give everybody the benefit of the doubt; probably too easily sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't trust most people till I know them, however I'm rubbish at keeping to myself, always give away too much info then think 'why on earth did I tell them that?'

Although, I'm pretty good at spotting a snake in the grass and will avoid sneaky people if I get a bad vibe from them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me, I rely on gut feel/instinct to start with, then seek out supporting evidence to confirm they are right or wrong.

If I lose my trust in someone, it is likely to be forever.

The last time I walked up to a woman and felt her gut to see if she was alright she slapped me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't trust most people till I know them, however I'm rubbish at keeping to myself, always give away too much info then think 'why on earth did I tell them that?'

I do this as well. All the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't trust most people till I know them, however I'm rubbish at keeping to myself, always give away too much info then think 'why on earth did I tell them that?'

I'm sure you don't give to much away. You seem too nice for that

Now.........erm.........what's your account number, sort code & password pretty please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't trust most people till I know them, however I'm rubbish at keeping to myself, always give away too much info then think 'why on earth did I tell them that?'

I do this as well. All the time

Mad innit?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I don't trust most people till I know them, however I'm rubbish at keeping to myself, always give away too much info then think 'why on earth did I tell them that?'

I do this as well. All the time

Mad innit?

Its because we are warm, open people maybe? And that is a lovely character trait I think - yes, it means we experience disappoinment sometimes but would we, could we... really change?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't trust most people till I know them, however I'm rubbish at keeping to myself, always give away too much info then think 'why on earth did I tell them that?'

I do this as well. All the time

Mad innit?

Yeah its usually along the lines of,

ME:Hi

Other: Hi

ME: Hows things

Other:Not bad thanks you?

Me I'm good thanks

*Awkward Silence*

Me: So...*Blabs*

Other: Oh really

Me: FFS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't trust most people till I know them, however I'm rubbish at keeping to myself, always give away too much info then think 'why on earth did I tell them that?'

I do this as well. All the time

Mad innit?

Its because we are warm, open people maybe? And that is a lovely character trait I think - yes, it means we experience disappoinment sometimes but would we, could we... really change? "

Probably not

I've always been the same, can't change now

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I don't trust most people till I know them, however I'm rubbish at keeping to myself, always give away too much info then think 'why on earth did I tell them that?'

I do this as well. All the time

Mad innit?

Yeah its usually along the lines of,

ME:Hi

Other: Hi

ME: Hows things

Other:Not bad thanks you?

Me I'm good thanks

*Awkward Silence*

Me: So...*Blabs*

Other: Oh really

Me: FFS

It is not wrong - it is what makes you YOU

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah its usually along the lines of,

ME:Hi

Other: Hi

ME: Hows things

Other:Not bad thanks you?

Me I'm good thanks

*Awkward Silence*

Me: So...*Blabs*

Other: Oh really

Me: FFS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me, I rely on gut feel/instinct to start with, then seek out supporting evidence to confirm they are right or wrong.

If I lose my trust in someone, it is likely to be forever.

definitely this ^^^

Wolf

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By *ellhatterMan
over a year ago

slough

sometimes, u can't even trust family !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

think i trust people too easily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"think i trust people too easily

I take it someone you trust has let you down, I hate that crushing feeling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"think i trust people too easily

I take it someone you trust has let you down, I hate that crushing feeling

devastated actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sometimes, u can't even trust family !

i dont trust my sister.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"think i trust people too easily

I take it someone you trust has let you down, I hate that crushing feeling

devastated actually

The same thing happened to me once with someone who I was quite close to and trusted explicitly. I was both angry and hurt that I could be betrayed, but after a while I began to realise that it's their fault and not mine so why should I feel bad. You'll get over it too, in the meantime have an e-hug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sometimes, u can't even trust family !

my mother definitely not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"think i trust people too easily

I take it someone you trust has let you down, I hate that crushing feeling

devastated actually

thank you

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By *U1966Man
over a year ago

Devon

We need to be able to trust but when we are let down badly it hurts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust is like respect, people say you have to earn both yet this is simply not possible; if you don't trust or respect someone then there is no possibility of it being earned because you will simply not give them the opportunity.

Speaking for myself, I always give people my trust and respect until they do or say something to show they are not worthy of one, the other or both.

If they choose to abuse either then I will generally cut all ties and never see or speak to them again...harsh? possibly but it has never done me wrong.

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

i trusted two guys on fab and never for a moment thought they could do what they did........ lead you on then bang let down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i trusted two guys on fab and never for a moment thought they could do what they did........ lead you on then bang let down

i used to do that, not quite so stupid now though. just because they seem nice, doesnt mean they are.

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

i wont do that now

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

[Removed by poster at 07/05/12 10:59:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its knowing you have a something on them should they wish to divulge something on you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust is me dealing with my troubles and you're by my side facing it with me.

Trust is you being honest with me, even though I won't like what I hear.

A good friend will get you out of trouble.

A great friend will be sitting beside you in the back of a police car saying "we f**ked up!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you sense it; I had only met my friend with benefits twice but knew he was trustworthy and let him tie me up on the third (second sex meet) meet whereas there are some from here that I have chatted to that I wouldn't consider at all, the conversation and maybe attraction is enough to put me off the idea with them.

Outside of here, conversation with someone and what they are like are enough to make me wary of telling all to them

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Innocent till proven guilty. And so on that basis I always offer the benefit of the doubt. . . Everyone is my friend until they prove otherwise, but any one person only gets to take me for a fool once, there is never a second chance.

I do think people will set themselves up to be let down too. Example, a 'friend' begs you to lend them £10 till Friday, you know full well they don't have the means to pay it back but you might still lend it them and then have the cheek to be upset when you don't get it back.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

i still dont trust a lot of people after having known them for many years.

Em reckons you can trust someone about how they are immediately.

little story, she went home sunday, and got talking to an older gent (mid 60's) and the fella offered her a lift hom.

she said if her lad hadnt been picking her up she would have as he was a nice guy without a bit of badness to him, but i was horrified she could be so blase, afterall, most victims of sexual assault know their attacker.

anyway, she has a really good judge of people, but i take them at arms length and keep them there for a hell of a long time.

eventually im proven right, but it does sometimes take a while.

its the way of the world. people will shit on you to get ahead.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Good point lovedup.

I remember a conversation with an ex work mate who was telling me about his neighbour an oldish man, scruffy and typically un-shaven, in short the stereotypical 'dirty oldman' as he added "I won't be letting my young son anywhere near the pervert".

I pulled him up on his assumption explaining that said 'pervert' would be the nicest person you might wish to meet, they have to be to win peoples confidence to get what they want!

Often 'too nice' and or 'too good to be true' are warning signs that shouldn't be ignored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good point lovedup.

I pulled him up on his assumption explaining that said 'pervert' would be the nicest person you might wish to meet, they have to be to win peoples confidence to get what they want!

Often 'too nice' and or 'too good to be true' are warning signs that shouldn't be ignored."

Sadly, we live in a world now where we are immediately suspicious. Sometimes, the people you can't trust are closer to home like family members. I guess I'm lucky in the fact that have a few friends and family members that I can truly trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you sense it; I had only met my friend with benefits twice but knew he was trustworthy and let him tie me up on the third (second sex meet) meet whereas there are some from here that I have chatted to that I wouldn't consider at all, the conversation and maybe attraction is enough to put me off the idea with them.

Outside of here, conversation with someone and what they are like are enough to make me wary of telling all to them"

Same here. Tied up on our 3rd meet, 2nd sex date. I just 'knew' I could trust him. Been meeting over 2 years now. Yet other people I know there's no way I'd feel comfortable enough to even meet.

Good point from the other post further down about the scruffy man that people wouldn't trust their kids with. People say they want to know if there's a paedo in their area. I say no, it's the one you don't know about that you have to be wary of.

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