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Apology and forgiveness

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By *aitonel OP   Man
over a year ago

Travelling

How do you handle these things?

Obviously context is a huge deal, there are lines that can be crossed once and never undone. This line varies person to person, situation to situation, and also based on the person who crossed the line.

However are you a forgiving person in general or do you hold a grudge?

If you do forgive, in what capacity is it? Do things ever return to what they were, something less than, or is it just forgiveness out of politeness?

On the other side to that, are you an apologetic person? Is it a genuine apology, is it a courtesy apology, do you hint towards an apology or are you too stubborn and proud to even hint at an apology?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I’ve done wrong - I’ll apologise no problem

If someone does something to me , it depends on what it is. I can forgive and move on or I can walk away with no guilt if my wellbeing is in jeopardy due to their behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends totally on the situation. Lie to me or doublecross me and there’s no second chance. I’m stubborn yes but I can definitely apologise if I think I’m wrong and I have been many times (believe it or not )

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I apologise a lot and quite readily. Possibly too quickly for things at times but that's because I do/say something daft and then immediately feel guilty and sort of squirm in a worried state. It's a genuine apology. I hate others feeling bad and to think I contribute to that makes me feel awful.

I'm not one for grudge holding. People make daft mistakes and if they genuinely apologise I forgive. I try and remember that life is short and that I'd hate to hold on to anger and not enjoy whatever dynamic I have with that person.

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By *aitonel OP   Man
over a year ago

Travelling


"I apologise a lot and quite readily. Possibly too quickly for things at times but that's because I do/say something daft and then immediately feel guilty and sort of squirm in a worried state. It's a genuine apology. I hate others feeling bad and to think I contribute to that makes me feel awful.

I'm not one for grudge holding. People make daft mistakes and if they genuinely apologise I forgive. I try and remember that life is short and that I'd hate to hold on to anger and not enjoy whatever dynamic I have with that person.

"

I'm the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I apologise if I've done something wrong but I can get quite defensive if I feel I haven't but the person won't let me explain or see things from my side.

I probably accept apologies too readily and allow people to continue hurting me when I really should walk away.

I don't hold grudges, there's no point. If someone has wronged me enough for that to be a possibility then I just won't have them in my life anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I belive everyone deserves a second chance. We all mess up from time to time xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I apologise, but only when I’m sure I need to. I forgive, but it takes a while. The worse the act is, the longer I need to work through it. Bear grudges? No, that’s not my style.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

If someone fucks up and apologises, I'll probably accept the apology.

But I don't just forget about it. I'll always be wary until they prove themselves as trustworthy again.

And to be honest once trust has gone, it's very hard to get it back.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's going to depend with me, on what's been done prior/fuller context. I'm a forgiving person but I have absolute limits, where it may never be possible to regain the trust and depth of connection that existed before. It will partly vary by how they respond - if insincerity abounds or they have a psychological game going on - I'm not interested.

It's potentially complex but I will usually be open to forgiving most things.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

In terms if me apologising, if I've fucked up I'm old enough and wise enough to apologise now.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

If I’ve done wrong I’ll hold my hands up and say so, up to them if they accept it or not

Am I forgiving, I used to be but you learn new lessons and signs along the way. Now if someone lies to me or breaks my trust / confidence I’m done with them, there is no going back, I’ve always been stubborn about this. Once trust is gone it’s very hard to get it back and it takes up too much mental energy

So it’s tara, whether that be family, friends, partners.... no looking back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I've done wrong then I'll apologise.

If someone's done wrong to me it does depend on what it is they've done, small things I'll accept their apology but big things I just walk away and keep them out of my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very difficult question to answer wholly depends on the situation and what lines been crossed.

I have forgiven lots of times but couple of things have happened in my life that I deemed unforgivable and I’ve completely pushed one person who I thought was a life long friend out of my life permanently

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

I’m pretty stubborn and holds grudges.

I can apologise if I know I’m wrong.

I don’t forgive easily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/19 18:04:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 strikes unless im enjoying being petty and watching em grovel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I’ve done wrong I’ll hold my hands up and say so, up to them if they accept it or not

Am I forgiving, I used to be but you learn new lessons and signs along the way. Now if someone lies to me or breaks my trust / confidence I’m done with them, there is no going back, I’ve always been stubborn about this. Once trust is gone it’s very hard to get it back and it takes up too much mental energy

So it’s tara, whether that be family, friends, partners.... no looking back "

Absolutely this...

If i have done something wrong or upset someone unintentially i apologise straight away. If others deliberately lie to me or screw me over in anyway i will never forgive them, especially if it was someone i cared about.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Unfortunately I'm not adult enough at times to forget and forgive. When I first came on these forums, I got shit off some on here and I've not forgotten or forgiven them.

I do admire people who can move on, realise that life's too short but I just can't. I try and justify my stubbornness,as I'm fiercely loyal to anyone I'm close to, if I'm on your side it's non negotiable,but I truly do wish I could let things go.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Small things I let go of very easily... But for the bigger things my ease of forgiveness is inversely proportionate to the greviousness of the injury, and if someone makes one of the munchkins cry.... They're dead to me!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Unfortunately I'm not adult enough at times to forget and forgive. When I first came on these forums, I got shit off some on here and I've not forgotten or forgiven them.

I do admire people who can move on, realise that life's too short but I just can't. I try and justify my stubbornness,as I'm fiercely loyal to anyone I'm close to, if I'm on your side it's non negotiable,but I truly do wish I could let things go.

"

Much respect for your first sentence xx So so so insightful.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It depends what it is as of course some things are unforgivable. If this line has not been crossed then for me an apology goes a long way. However there is only so many times someone can apologise for repeatedly doing the same thing before I realise they're not really sorry if they keep doing it.

On the flip side to this I think sometimes people are too reluctant to apologise. I've had situations before where I have upset the other person totally unintentionally through a misunderstanding. A lot of people are very reluctant to apologise for something when they feel they haven't done anything wrong but if my actions have upset somebody I will apologise still and aim to work on better communication in the future to avoid similar misunderstandings. Sometimes life is too short to be stubborn and friendships are more important than my pride.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Such an interesting subject. I could go on for hours... but won't.

How PIOUS for anyone to think that someone else requires their forgiveness.

Forgiveness is for the self. It heals YOU.

If I behave in a way that someone doesn't like - I wouldn't be in need of their forgiveness. It might heal them and that is a good thing.

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