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Auntie Ps advice line

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Good afternoon fabbers,

Auntie P has the day off today wooohoooo

Have something on your mind? Wooohoooo

Can't quite find the answer? Wooohoooo

Hit me with your woesies and I'll keep you on your woesies wooohoooo

Damn that fucking curse thread

P

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Damn that fuckjng autocarrot too and not proof reading.

Toesies.... I'll keep you on your toesies

Wooohuuuummm

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"Damn that fuckjng autocarrot too and not proof reading.

Toesies.... I'll keep you on your toesies

Wooohuuuummm

"

Fuckjng and autocarrot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Auntie P,

I have a dilemma.

I am being fitted for a new suit, and like most men I will no doubt be asked to choose whether to dress to the left or right.

How do I increase my penis size to give me the option of trying either?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Damn that fuckjng autocarrot too and not proof reading.

Toesies.... I'll keep you on your toesies

Wooohuuuummm

Fuckjng and autocarrot "

I'm rolling with it, styling it out

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Auntie P

I'm fucking roasting , tired , and irritable. Can you please fan me whilst naked and feeding me Pina Colada with a straw ??

Please .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Auntie p

I need an ice cream.

That is all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P,

I have a dilemma.

I am being fitted for a new suit, and like most men I will no doubt be asked to choose whether to dress to the left or right.

How do I increase my penis size to give me the option of trying either?"

You look at a sexy wexy before you go in so the blood is already filling the beast from below.

OR you could get a prince Albert piercing, tie a piece of string from the hoop to your ankle and stretch your schlong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P

I'm fucking roasting , tired , and irritable. Can you please fan me whilst naked and feeding me Pina Colada with a straw ??

Please ."

What did your last slave die of?

Get in a baking tray and add some veg. Roasted vegetables are delicious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Auntie P,

I have a dilemma.

I am being fitted for a new suit, and like most men I will no doubt be asked to choose whether to dress to the left or right.

How do I increase my penis size to give me the option of trying either?

You look at a sexy wexy before you go in so the blood is already filling the beast from below.

OR you could get a prince Albert piercing, tie a piece of string from the hoop to your ankle and stretch your schlong."

I'll take option A

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie p

I need an ice cream.

That is all."

It will be melted by the time it reaches your lips.

Get an ice pole instead. Will last 20 seconds longer

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Auntie P. It's hot and I am meant to be drinking in a few hours. What do I wear so I don't end up like a beached whale?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Auntie P

I'm fucking roasting , tired , and irritable. Can you please fan me whilst naked and feeding me Pina Colada with a straw ??

Please .

What did your last slave die of?

Get in a baking tray and add some veg. Roasted vegetables are delicious "

Worth a try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Auntie p

I need an ice cream.

That is all.

It will be melted by the time it reaches your lips.

Get an ice pole instead. Will last 20 seconds longer "

You mean a freeze pop?

I’ll have a bubble gum blue one please...

Good call, how long before you get here?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Auntie P

I have a woesie

I'm trying to work out if the PM game has finally run its natural course and died a death or whether everyone is waiting for someone else to start the next one

#FOMO

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. It's hot and I am meant to be drinking in a few hours. What do I wear so I don't end up like a beached whale? "

A big set of teeth so you pass for a shark instead?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Auntie P. It's hot and I am meant to be drinking in a few hours. What do I wear so I don't end up like a beached whale?

A big set of teeth so you pass for a shark instead? "

That's amazing!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Auntie P. I want to gloat to someone horrible, but I don't want to give them a way of contacting me. The struggle is real. Please help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie p

I need an ice cream.

That is all.

It will be melted by the time it reaches your lips.

Get an ice pole instead. Will last 20 seconds longer

You mean a freeze pop?

I’ll have a bubble gum blue one please...

Good call, how long before you get here?"

Ice pole. Freeze pop. Tip top.

Call it what you want but frozen flavour is frozen flavour.

Four score and twenty years. Quicker if you come here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P

I have a woesie

I'm trying to work out if the PM game has finally run its natural course and died a death or whether everyone is waiting for someone else to start the next one

#FOMO"

I've not been on for a while so I'm saying it's run it's course.

It will return when new forum pervs grace us with their presence and we want to get inside their heads.

Twas a mighty good idea

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. I want to gloat to someone horrible, but I don't want to give them a way of contacting me. The struggle is real. Please help. "

Ahhhh the gloat.

You remove the L and send a goat-a-gram with your message of rubby-their-nose-in-it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Auntie P. I want to gloat to someone horrible, but I don't want to give them a way of contacting me. The struggle is real. Please help.

Ahhhh the gloat.

You remove the L and send a goat-a-gram with your message of rubby-their-nose-in-it "

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Auntie P,

Mention of keeping you on your toesies worries me as I know they've been troubling you, please make sure you look after them, and don't keep on them too much.

Oh and I have no woesies currently- everything is just bee-u-ti-ful currently.

I did nearly have a woopsie earlier but a quick cross-legged run and the penny was spent safely.

All My Love Auntie P

GM

P.S. Thank you for the Wilkos gift card you sent me for my birthday - I used it to buy some drain cleaner and a jumbo pack of Brillo pads

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. I want to gloat to someone horrible, but I don't want to give them a way of contacting me. The struggle is real. Please help.

Ahhhh the gloat.

You remove the L and send a goat-a-gram with your message of rubby-their-nose-in-it

"

I might just go and nick someones goat. This is a fucking winner.

For hire:

Goat-a-gram, delivering the salt to rub into their wounds and make their heart skip a bleat.

Contact Gosforth Lucifer Oat.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Auntie P. I want to gloat to someone horrible, but I don't want to give them a way of contacting me. The struggle is real. Please help.

Ahhhh the gloat.

You remove the L and send a goat-a-gram with your message of rubby-their-nose-in-it

I might just go and nick someones goat. This is a fucking winner.

For hire:

Goat-a-gram, delivering the salt to rub into their wounds and make their heart skip a bleat.

Contact Gosforth Lucifer Oat.

"

I love you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?"

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?"

Auntie P,

point her here....

https://m.fabswingers.com/profile/fever_tree

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?"

Norfolk obviously

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P,

Mention of keeping you on your toesies worries me as I know they've been troubling you, please make sure you look after them, and don't keep on them too much.

Oh and I have no woesies currently- everything is just bee-u-ti-ful currently.

I did nearly have a woopsie earlier but a quick cross-legged run and the penny was spent safely.

All My Love Auntie P

GM

P.S. Thank you for the Wilkos gift card you sent me for my birthday - I used it to buy some drain cleaner and a jumbo pack of Brillo pads"

I'm unsure how to respond to such beauty.

I was guilted into sending the gift card. Twas I that blocked the drain

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?"

Normally when people can't find something I just that it's in my bum. Now, unless your guy is a weeble he definitely ain't in my rectum.

First rule: you don't look. You'll happen to cross each others paths when the time is right.

Or you could try getting a job in a bank and seeing who makes the most money and snare that mofo.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing? "

Joey?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey? "

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this"

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy "

Have a lolly

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Have a lolly"

My boy lollipop?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy "

Women .. sharing chocolate ... now come on ... how far fetched do you wanna make this?

If you're my fantasy .. what would I be (asking for a friend)

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Have a lolly

My boy lollipop?"

I always wondered about that song. Is it about blowjobs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where do u want the sweetcorn?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Have a lolly

My boy lollipop?

I always wondered about that song. Is it about blowjobs? "

They don’t teach you much in Sunderland do they?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this"

Monkey is a Joey?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Monkey is a Joey? "

Joey ... baby kangaroo ... so .. Monkeyroo ... one seriously fucked up creature ... which fits perfectly

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Women .. sharing chocolate ... now come on ... how far fetched do you wanna make this?

If you're my fantasy .. what would I be (asking for a friend)"

A creepy little leprechaun that when I kick it in the head it turns into a wonderful couple. They have a dirty mind, a shit load of respect, they know how to party but at the same time show understanding that I ain't quite right in the noggin sometimes but they don't mind coz I own my crazy instead of hiding it.

Or a copy if stig of the dump. I ain't read that for years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Monkey is a Joey?

Joey ... baby kangaroo ... so .. Monkeyroo ... one seriously fucked up creature ... which fits perfectly "

Awww. That’s cute.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Have a lolly

My boy lollipop?

I always wondered about that song. Is it about blowjobs? "

He just had a cruel mum who named him after her favourite sweet

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Have a lolly

My boy lollipop?

I always wondered about that song. Is it about blowjobs?

They don’t teach you much in Sunderland do they?"

Haha. Jokes on you, as you were replying on here your potential future lover just walked past you.... nehhh, it could have been beautiful, your fanny wouldn’t have fluttered it would have taken flight. Now you are grounded and awaiting CAA inspection

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Monkey is a Joey?

Joey ... baby kangaroo ... so .. Monkeyroo ... one seriously fucked up creature ... which fits perfectly

Awww. That’s cute."

You're talking about wuzzles. Don't fuck with wuzzles man. I loved them all. Rhinokey, butterbear, Elleroo..... oh the memories

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Women .. sharing chocolate ... now come on ... how far fetched do you wanna make this?

If you're my fantasy .. what would I be (asking for a friend)

A creepy little leprechaun that when I kick it in the head it turns into a wonderful couple. They have a dirty mind, a shit load of respect, they know how to party but at the same time show understanding that I ain't quite right in the noggin sometimes but they don't mind coz I own my crazy instead of hiding it.

Or a copy if stig of the dump. I ain't read that for years."

7 times I started writing that and got waylayed coz I sat in a wet patch on my "sun lounger"

I didn't even remember the question by the time I finished but was too pig headed to look

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Women .. sharing chocolate ... now come on ... how far fetched do you wanna make this?

If you're my fantasy .. what would I be (asking for a friend)

A creepy little leprechaun that when I kick it in the head it turns into a wonderful couple. They have a dirty mind, a shit load of respect, they know how to party but at the same time show understanding that I ain't quite right in the noggin sometimes but they don't mind coz I own my crazy instead of hiding it.

Or a copy if stig of the dump. I ain't read that for years.

7 times I started writing that and got waylayed coz I sat in a wet patch on my "sun lounger"

I didn't even remember the question by the time I finished but was too pig headed to look "

Slightly freaked me out ... and yet piqued my interest ... not only fucked up ... but a complex creature is the monkeyroo

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Women .. sharing chocolate ... now come on ... how far fetched do you wanna make this?

If you're my fantasy .. what would I be (asking for a friend)

A creepy little leprechaun that when I kick it in the head it turns into a wonderful couple. They have a dirty mind, a shit load of respect, they know how to party but at the same time show understanding that I ain't quite right in the noggin sometimes but they don't mind coz I own my crazy instead of hiding it.

Or a copy if stig of the dump. I ain't read that for years.

7 times I started writing that and got waylayed coz I sat in a wet patch on my "sun lounger"

I didn't even remember the question by the time I finished but was too pig headed to look

Slightly freaked me out ... and yet piqued my interest ... not only fucked up ... but a complex creature is the monkeyroo"

Complexity ain't boring that's a certainty!

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Auntie P. Wtf is this elusive guy I’m looking for? Where should I look for him?

Hi

Hello

How you doing?

Joey?

Joey don't share ... which is a problem on a site like this

Fuck, neither do a lot of the single women who pretend they'll have no problem sharing when in fact they wouldn't share a share bag of maltesers. It's no new phenomenon, just behind the scenes bullshit that *doesn't exist* coz it might make them look bad and ruin their image.

Let me be your fantasyyyyyyyy

Women .. sharing chocolate ... now come on ... how far fetched do you wanna make this?

If you're my fantasy .. what would I be (asking for a friend)

A creepy little leprechaun that when I kick it in the head it turns into a wonderful couple. They have a dirty mind, a shit load of respect, they know how to party but at the same time show understanding that I ain't quite right in the noggin sometimes but they don't mind coz I own my crazy instead of hiding it.

Or a copy if stig of the dump. I ain't read that for years.

7 times I started writing that and got waylayed coz I sat in a wet patch on my "sun lounger"

I didn't even remember the question by the time I finished but was too pig headed to look

Slightly freaked me out ... and yet piqued my interest ... not only fucked up ... but a complex creature is the monkeyroo

Complexity ain't boring that's a certainty! "

Never a dull moment in our house

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Dear aunty P

I've been thinking.........

No good can come of this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear aunty P

I've been thinking.........

No good can come of this.

"

Quit that shit right now and go dance naked in the zoo as your punishment

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Auntie P, I’ve got some free time next month and I’d like to make the most of it and meet some delightful Fabbers.

The trouble is that there are so many women who want to play hide the sausage, I don’t know which ones to focus my attention on.

What should I do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Auntie P, I’ve got some free time next month and I’d like to make the most of it and meet some delightful Fabbers.

The trouble is that there are so many women who want to play hide the sausage, I don’t know which ones to focus my attention on.

What should I do?"

Bin 'em all and just shag me

My cunt'll be sewn up by then, so it'll be nice and tight

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P, I’ve got some free time next month and I’d like to make the most of it and meet some delightful Fabbers.

The trouble is that there are so many women who want to play hide the sausage, I don’t know which ones to focus my attention on.

What should I do?"

Join the circus, far less drama

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Dear aunty P

I've been thinking.........

No good can come of this.

Quit that shit right now and go dance naked in the zoo as your punishment "

The poor animals don't deserve that......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear aunty P

I've been thinking.........

No good can come of this.

Quit that shit right now and go dance naked in the zoo as your punishment

The poor animals don't deserve that...... "

You're right, I over reacted due to having a damp arse.

Cool flannel to the brow and a mound of apple crumble with ice cream is the answer.

Following that, ride through Coventry wearing nothing but a wig claiming "I'm Lady Godiva, 123, I'm Lady Godiva and you can't catch me"

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Dear Aunty P. My boss keeps telling me what to do. He insists i come in when he says, then tells me what to do and when doesn't need me , he chases me. Fed up with it. Should i hit him with my big book of Bill Hicks quotes ( verbally of course ) or not?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear Aunty P. My boss keeps telling me what to do. He insists i come in when he says, then tells me what to do and when doesn't need me , he chases me. Fed up with it. Should i hit him with my big book of Bill Hicks quotes ( verbally of course ) or not?"

Come to mine and get all the insecty-bugs to release on him in his office (and lock the door)

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

Dear Aunty P.

With all this hot weather and seeing all the lovely ladies walking around showing a lot more skin I'm having trouble sleeping, I keep waking up felling all hot and sticky,

Do you think I'm sleep wanking ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Dear Aunty P.....

I have stuff and some more stuff and enough cupboards for stuff but not enough space for more cupboards for all my stuff......

Space or cupboards P .....??? Space or cupboards ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear Aunty P.

With all this hot weather and seeing all the lovely ladies walking around showing a lot more skin I'm having trouble sleeping, I keep waking up felling all hot and sticky,

Do you think I'm sleep wanking ?"

No, I think the bugs and insects are spaffing over you in the dark. Sly little cunts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear Aunty P.....

I have stuff and some more stuff and enough cupboards for stuff but not enough space for more cupboards for all my stuff......

Space or cupboards P .....??? Space or cupboards ?"

A Crump shed. Like a man shed but stuffier and cupboardier

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock


"Dear Aunty P. My boss keeps telling me what to do. He insists i come in when he says, then tells me what to do and when doesn't need me , he chases me. Fed up with it. Should i hit him with my big book of Bill Hicks quotes ( verbally of course ) or not?

Come to mine and get all the insecty-bugs to release on him in his office (and lock the door)"

That sounds perfect. I can see him flapping right now. He'll look like the Alien fella from Men in Black

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aunty P I’ve been at the beach all day and I’m very tired. I’ve had a shower and I now need someone to put some aftersun on my back. Could you send someone over? Male or female will be fine

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Aunty P I’ve been at the beach all day and I’m very tired. I’ve had a shower and I now need someone to put some aftersun on my back. Could you send someone over? Male or female will be fine "

I'll send the goat

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Aunty P.

I need help please. I have a sore bum. Any advise would be helpful

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Aunty P.

I need help please. I have a sore bum. Any advise would be helpful "

Sudocrem or preparation H

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this a serious thread as i have a serious question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I legally make my neighbors go away permanently

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is this a serious thread as i have a serious question? "

It can be if you need it to be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I legally make my neighbors go away permanently "

Maaaaaaybe

Alien abduction, we never heard a thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dear auntie p,,,can I sit on your face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"dear auntie p,,,can I sit on your face "

ps,,I douche

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this a serious thread as i have a serious question?

It can be if you need it to be. "

How do i stop being so jealous of woman talking and flirting with D?(my partner). He's totally fine with men and women flirting with me. Please help.

We've been doing it for nearly 3 years now and i just want to not feel jealous. It doesn't cause drama by the way ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"dear auntie p,,,can I sit on your face

ps,,I douche "

If you insist

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is this a serious thread as i have a serious question?

It can be if you need it to be.

How do i stop being so jealous of woman talking and flirting with D?(my partner). He's totally fine with men and women flirting with me. Please help.

We've been doing it for nearly 3 years now and i just want to not feel jealous. It doesn't cause drama by the way ha "

Honestly....

Probably some internal work and lots of communication

Jealousy covers a huge spectrum of other feelings and whe you break the jealousy down you may find the real answers.

I thought for a while that I was jealous, turns out I'm not. When I broke pieces apart and did some digging it turns out I have trust issues. Now, here's the weird bit, I don't have trust issues with B, I trust him with my life, but the bit I struggle with is trusting other people, trusting their intentions and agendas.

I don't trust people not to do things that will cause me pain.

Now, I can trace this back to a person that was supposed to love me, in fact 2 people actually, the first was my mother. Nothing I could do was ever good enough for her, I always felt I was a disappointment and a let down.

Second one ... and this is the big one. My ex. I went through years of abuse, mainly mental, sometimes physical. He admitted in the end that he wanted to make my life so unbearable that I either killed myself or kicked him out so he could continue to play the victim. That shit fucks you up.

Now I know full well B isn't my ex. I know full well a couple we may meet aren't planning to get me to top myself. What it has done though is make me very very wary and protective over something I love dearly.

It has shown me how easily trust and love can be abused and used against you.

Take a look online, read about jealousy and how it's broken down into different segments and you may very well have a moment of "bingo!"

From there you can talk openly, and work together on building the foundations to tackle it together.

Hope that helps. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dear auntie p,,,i keep buying stripy dresses,,the latest one is black n white,,do you think I may be a zebra wanna be?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"dear auntie p,,,i keep buying stripy dresses,,the latest one is black n white,,do you think I may be a zebra wanna be?"

No, I think you're doing it to tease your friend who loves dresses. Bad friend.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Aunty P

Please help. I’ve been trying to have a wank using my left hand but I just can’t seem to get a good purchase on it and I’m always loosing grip

Please help

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Aunty P

Please help. I’ve been trying to have a wank using my left hand but I just can’t seem to get a good purchase on it and I’m always loosing grip

Please help "

Marigolds or gorilla glue

You can thank me later

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Auntie P

Please could you turn the heat down a little

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P

Please could you turn the heat down a little "

I'll turn the heat down if you turn the bugs down

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