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Poorly :(

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By *aughty_nymph OP   Woman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

So I’m off sick from work and feeling sorry for myself.

Can someone cheer me up please?

Cringe chat up lines or funny/embarrassing sexual stories more than welcome!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooooooh no get well soon

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they ARRRRRRR!

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

Are you wearing Christian Louboutin shoes in you 14th March picture?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I’m off sick from work and feeling sorry for myself.

Can someone cheer me up please?

Cringe chat up lines or funny/embarrassing sexual stories more than welcome! "

Did you sleep with your brother? How sick are you? Lol

Big hugs, hope you feel better soon xo

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By *aughty_nymph OP   Woman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Are you wearing Christian Louboutin shoes in you 14th March picture?

"

I certainly am

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places


"Are you wearing Christian Louboutin shoes in you 14th March picture?

I certainly am "

Lush...

Do you want to go out on a date when you're feeling better?

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By *aughty_nymph OP   Woman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"So I’m off sick from work and feeling sorry for myself.

Can someone cheer me up please?

Cringe chat up lines or funny/embarrassing sexual stories more than welcome!

Did you sleep with your brother? How sick are you? Lol

Big hugs, hope you feel better soon xo"

Hhaha I’m an only child! Thanks babe x

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By *aughty_nymph OP   Woman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Are you wearing Christian Louboutin shoes in you 14th March picture?

I certainly am

Lush...

Do you want to go out on a date when you're feeling better? "

Do you just want me for my taste in heels?!

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places


"Are you wearing Christian Louboutin shoes in you 14th March picture?

I certainly am

Lush...

Do you want to go out on a date when you're feeling better?

Do you just want me for my taste in heels?! "

And for your en-flique eyebrows and gorgeous dark hair x

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By *aughty_nymph OP   Woman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

So complimentary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

E2

Sorry I thought this was a vending machine and you was a tasty snack

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By *aughty_nymph OP   Woman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you can soon feel better and put a penny in a Wishing Well, and also you'll be well again. yours sincerely.

a well-wisher

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By *ellbound_GhoulwarpWoman
over a year ago

Fifth Circle of Hell

Archeologists recently found a tomb in Egypt that's never been opened in nearly 3000 years.

They found sacred ornaments, jewellry but the most important find was chocolate and nuts perfectly preserved.

Turns out it was the tomb of Pharoah Rocher

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I’m off sick from work and feeling sorry for myself.

Can someone cheer me up please?

Cringe chat up lines or funny/embarrassing sexual stories more than welcome! "

First of all, you are beautiful! Not only pretty but stunningly hot too

I know your profile says you are not meeting at the moment so somebody might be going in the hotlist for now

A young priest is taking over confession and a woman enters.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned. Last night I had oral sex with my boyfriend"

The young priest scratches his head unsure how many hail Mary's oral sex is worth. So he leans out of the booth and sees an old lady cleaning the floor

"how much does father give for a blowjob?"

"A tenner if I take my teeth out"

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By *usthere8Man
over a year ago

acton

Hey op hope you feel better soon.

Go for the classic joke of:

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Cause 7 8 9!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I’m off sick from work and feeling sorry for myself.

Can someone cheer me up please?

Cringe chat up lines or funny/embarrassing sexual stories more than welcome! "

Get well soon.

I cocked up at work. A announcement went out to the public. Lets just say bristol is now prissy temple meads lol

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By *aughty_nymph OP   Woman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Awh thanks everyone!

Definitely working! Keep them coming!

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By *odkajemWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

On the same night out I got these two chat up lines

"I bet you're a right dirty bitch aren't you"

And

"I want to ch oke fuck you"

I'd like to add this was in a student shit hole dive bar, not a club or summat! Jeebles!!!

(fab won't allow the word c h o k e in one )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope your feeling yourself a bit more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel better soon OP!

What do you call.a sheep made of chocolate?

A candy baaaaaa.

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

What do you call an underwater ambulance?

A clambulance

Hope your feeling better soon

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By *aughty_nymph OP   Woman
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Feel better soon OP!

What do you call.a sheep made of chocolate?

A candy baaaaaa.

"

I love it! Ha

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

How about a plain old fashioned Omg you are fucking gorgeous!! I gotta say as I've just peeked at your pics

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By *aughty_nymph OP   Woman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" "

Get well soon Suck on a Magnum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flick your bean while listening to Céline Dion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Flick your bean while listening to Céline Dion "

“Think twice” about that ba dum tish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Flick your bean while listening to Céline Dion

“Think twice” about that ba dum tish "

This

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