FabSwingers.com forum: Are you really?

By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Are you truely the type of person that you say you are?

Do you really live up to the qualities that you say you have?

Is it all just a front to the world?

Do you live up to these qualities?

The older I get, the more and more interactions with people I have, I beces more and more clear that none of us every really live up to the person we want to be, or think we are.

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

What you see is what you get with me

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I try to be. I'm very open and honest about my flaws. But the only real difference between me on here and in the flesh is that I have more confidence to say things that I wouldn't in person as I have a screen to hide behind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a tiger raaaaa raaaaaaa raaaaaa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. I do. I’m crap at pretending. I don’t give much away as I’m very private but what I do is all me

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

I am a constantly changing and evolving human being. Who I was last year isn't who I am today, and the person I am tomorrow will probably be different too. The more experiences I absorb, the more I grow

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"What you see is what you get with me

"
This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see the point in pretending I’m anything I’m not.

Too much effort to keep up the facade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is me and once you get to know me you’ll soon find out how genuine I am

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By *nowwhitexxx1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I think over the last couple of years I have finally become the true me.. I don't have to metaphorically hide anymore... What you see and hear is what you get with me.. I'm not here to impress anyone the only persons expectations I have to live up too now are my own xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem very cynical these days OP?

I'm me, I try to just be myself and not think too much about the image I'm giving out, people will always judge you based on their own projections so as long as you are happy and feel justified with your own behaviour then screw them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you truely the type of person that you say you are?

Do you really live up to the qualities that you say you have?

Is it all just a front to the world?

Do you live up to these qualities?

The older I get, the more and more interactions with people I have, I beces more and more clear that none of us every really live up to the person we want to be, or think we are. "

Sometimes people on here lie about being genuine so yeah that sucks

sometimes people here arrange to meet but don't that sucks too!

Both are lies

Being honest for some people on here is just not what they are about like cheating on their wife because they not told them they are on here. I do not do drama.

I find that some people are two faced.

Gossipy and talk about people behind their backs

so going from this experience NO op

I will not tolerate any lies nor dishonesty OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Truth is i dont care what u lot think of me i dont need to pretend things iv never been one to put on an act to get shags if awt i was always the opposite of that and still got em im just here to entertain myself as i was convinced to come back

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"I am a tiger raaaaa raaaaaaa raaaaaa"

Strangely I heard that in a Danny La Rue type of voice.

Anyway, we are pretty WYSIWYG.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

I'm really a man..........gotcha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Diligaf

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"You seem very cynical these days OP?

Nothing wrong with cynicism Rubi, it makes people harder to hoodwink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am a tiger raaaaa raaaaaaa raaaaaa

Strangely I heard that in a Danny La Rue type of voice.

Anyway, we are pretty WYSIWYG."
dunno who that is it was suppost to be alan partridge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, you see one thing on here with me and get something compleatly different

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

But are you really?

I think if you truely look at yourselves you will see you are not who you like to think you are.

How honest are you really?

How friendly?

How open?

We say these things about ourselves but when it comes to it, we are these things when it is convenient for us.

We lie

Friendly and approachable if we choose to be

Very few will go out of their way for somebody else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a big front, you've exposed me

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm not saying people hide it, or pretend to be something they are not.

Just deep down none of us truely posses the full qualities we like to think we have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not saying people hide it, or pretend to be something they are not.

Just deep down none of us truely posses the full qualities we like to think we have. "
ony quality i hold to without question my only real principle i have is loyalty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But are you really?

I think if you truely look at yourselves you will see you are not who you like to think you are.

How honest are you really?

How friendly?

How open?

We say these things about ourselves but when it comes to it, we are these things when it is convenient for us.

We lie

Friendly and approachable if we choose to be

Very few will go out of their way for somebody else. "

Yep. I really believe I am. The top 2 definitely. The 3rd one not so much anymore.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"You seem very cynical these days OP?

Experiences with people, and therapy sessions that bring to light a lot of inner thoughts and demons that we don't all know that we had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes 100% Welshman every inch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But are you really?

I think if you truely look at yourselves you will see you are not who you like to think you are.

How honest are you really?

How friendly?

How open?

We say these things about ourselves but when it comes to it, we are these things when it is convenient for us.

We lie

Friendly and approachable if we choose to be

Very few will go out of their way for somebody else.

Yep. I really believe I am. The top 2 definitely. The 3rd one not so much anymore. "

I’m not saying it’s a good thing though as you end up getting mugged off. But like I said im shit at pretending x

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By *rReyMan
over a year ago

Fleet

Can't deal with BS and therefore I'm straight up about myself and my thoughts. It makes Fab difficult but not impossible.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I'm not saying people hide it, or pretend to be something they are not.

Just deep down none of us truely posses the full qualities we like to think we have. ony quality i hold to without question my only real principle i have is loyalty"

I should also clarify I don't mean people don't posses any quality, just that some qualities are not as true as we like to think.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Are you truely the type of person that you say you are?

Do you really live up to the qualities that you say you have?

Is it all just a front to the world?

Do you live up to these qualities?

The older I get, the more and more interactions with people I have, I beces more and more clear that none of us every really live up to the person we want to be, or think we are.

Sometimes people on here lie about being genuine so yeah that sucks

sometimes people here arrange to meet but don't that sucks too!

Both are lies

Being honest for some people on here is just not what they are about like cheating on their wife because they not told them they are on here. I do not do drama.

I find that some people are two faced.

Gossipy and talk about people behind their backs

so going from this experience NO op

I will not tolerate any lies nor dishonesty OP "

I don't mean just on here, I mean all works of life.

Friends, family, workplace etc you see it everyday a lot of the time without realising it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But are you really?

I think if you truely look at yourselves you will see you are not who you like to think you are.

How honest are you really?

How friendly?

How open?

We say these things about ourselves but when it comes to it, we are these things when it is convenient for us.

We lie

Friendly and approachable if we choose to be

Very few will go out of their way for somebody else. "
honest as folk now im not a social person i hate crowds of people things nark me im volatile im mischievous but i never hide that i remind myself of robin williams without the game of hangman

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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago

bristol

The only person capable of stopping a person from developing is themselves.

We have more control over our lives, over who we really are than most of us give credit for.

With me, I always strive to learn more, better myself, better those who want help in getting further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You seem very cynical these days OP?

Experiences with people, and therapy sessions that bring to light a lot of inner thoughts and demons that we don't all know that we had. "

I'd agree with the examples you've given and yeah we're not always all of those things but some people naturally lean towards them with things like situations or other people or even just general mood influencing the times they're not that way.

I don't think it's about not knowing yourself, most people can admit they have flaws or bad days but if you have certain traits most of the time then it counts as being that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you truely the type of person that you say you are?

Do you really live up to the qualities that you say you have?

Is it all just a front to the world?

Do you live up to these qualities?

The older I get, the more and more interactions with people I have, I beces more and more clear that none of us every really live up to the person we want to be, or think we are. "
I'm just a shadow of my former self

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I am what I am take me or leave me is the way I look at it - my values, principles and opinions are the same here as anywhere - I'm also very open and honest about my own limitations and shortcomings before meeting.

Whether I'm the true me to myself, and the me I want to be is another matter - it doesn't change my values or principles etc but there is a me I knew a long time ago that I'd rather be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For better or worse, I'm just me wherever I am and whatever I'm doing.

Whoever I'm doing as well whilst I think about it.

Funny, easily distracted, attentive, inappropriate, caring and hyper at times.

Thank you ADD, you've made me the man I am and all things considered, I really like me.

I'm a hoot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But are you really?

I think if you truely look at yourselves you will see you are not who you like to think you are.

How honest are you really?

How friendly?

How open?

We say these things about ourselves but when it comes to it, we are these things when it is convenient for us.

We lie

Friendly and approachable if we choose to be

Very few will go out of their way for somebody else. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't see the point in pretending I'm anything other than I am. There are lots of things I wish I could improve on, but I'm also realistic enough to know we've only got a limited amount of time and energy to devote to these things once the mundane everyday shit is dealt with. Also, pretending to be something else must be exhausting, especially for people like me who are crap at deception.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you truely the type of person that you say you are?

Do you really live up to the qualities that you say you have?

Is it all just a front to the world?

Do you live up to these qualities?

The older I get, the more and more interactions with people I have, I beces more and more clear that none of us every really live up to the person we want to be, or think we are. "

Depends on who is perceiving us.

One person may think we are great, another may think we are an arsehole.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I am what I am take me or leave me is the way I look at it - my values, principles and opinions are the same here as anywhere - I'm also very open and honest about my own limitations and shortcomings before meeting.

Whether I'm the true me to myself, and the me I want to be is another matter - it doesn't change my values or principles etc but there is a me I knew a long time ago that I'd rather be."

This is exactly what I mean.

On the top surface we all have and live by certain qualities and principles and values etc.

But day in day out, in each situation how often do we stick to these things that we set up ourselves to live by.

I'm not calling out anybody for doing so, just that you will often find in some qualities etc "we" are not as true as we often think we are.

Does not need to be malicious, or intentful but there are often cracks and weaknesses in our stance with them.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I really don't see the point in pretending I'm anything other than I am. There are lots of things I wish I could improve on, but I'm also realistic enough to know we've only got a limited amount of time and energy to devote to these things once the mundane everyday shit is dealt with. Also, pretending to be something else must be exhausting, especially for people like me who are crap at deception. "

I don't mean pretend to be, I mean day in and day out do you truely live up to each quality and value that you hold to high standards?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mean pretend to be, I mean day in and day out do you truely live up to each quality and value that you hold to high standards? "

But that would be pretending, you'd be deluding yourself. Much better to look at your values and who you are and gently tweak things here and there until they align.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

I don't mean pretend to be, I mean day in and day out do you truely live up to each quality and value that you hold to high standards?

But that would be pretending, you'd be deluding yourself. Much better to look at your values and who you are and gently tweak things here and there until they align. "

Which is why it falls under "what is convenient".

"honest" people will lie when it suits them

"Friendly" people will be unfriendly when it suits them.

We all tweak some of these qualities to fit how we want them to be, and not to their truest meaning.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I am a guy in a dress as i claimed to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am who I am - I’m human

Pretty normal and boring but I can’t be what I’m not or pretend to be something else.

Some pretend on here , but their front usually exposes them in the end but it’s just the same anywhere you go

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

bold and beautiful, no need for me to hide behind a pen face!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to think I'm the same in here as I am in real life .

The people I've met seem to think so

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Absolutely I am who I say I am.

I’m probably a little more crazy in real life......

See my veris lol

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Whether I'm the true me to myself, and the me I want to be is another matter - it doesn't change my values or principles etc but there is a me I knew a long time ago that I'd rather be.

This is exactly what I mean.

On the top surface we all have and live by certain qualities and principles and values etc.

But day in day out, in each situation how often do we stick to these things that we set up ourselves to live by.

I'm not calling out anybody for doing so, just that you will often find in some qualities etc "we" are not as true as we often think we are.

Does not need to be malicious, or intentful but there are often cracks and weaknesses in our stance with them. "

Whilst I'd agree that some of the values we hold up for ourselves may be situational or even circumstantial or perhaps a better word would be "adaptable" the underlying value or principle is still the same, may just have an adjusted level of importance for that instance.

Everyone lies at some point, some to be deliberately deceitful, but sometimes it's to be kind and it's that last one that I am referring to by adjustable.

To give an example - someone excitedly asks you what you think of a new item of clothing they are wearing, something they obviously love, but you personally think looks awful - if you stuck to your principles and values around honesty you'd tell them it looks awful, but out of kindness you filter your words and effectively lie.

Perhaps it's a case of sometimes two values can't be held in tandem so you take the more important of them and apply it.

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

No pretences from me. What you see is what you get although in real life I’m more humouress and flirty than on here

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No idea. I can't control the impression I make on other people much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you truely the type of person that you say you are?

Do you really live up to the qualities that you say you have?

Is it all just a front to the world?

Do you live up to these qualities?

The older I get, the more and more interactions with people I have, I beces more and more clear that none of us every really live up to the person we want to be, or think we are. "

Or maybe just maybe, you’ve just become more cynical.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mean pretend to be, I mean day in and day out do you truely live up to each quality and value that you hold to high standards?

But that would be pretending, you'd be deluding yourself. Much better to look at your values and who you are and gently tweak things here and there until they align.

Which is why it falls under "what is convenient".

"honest" people will lie when it suits them

"Friendly" people will be unfriendly when it suits them.

We all tweak some of these qualities to fit how we want them to be, and not to their truest meaning."

That's not what I mean. For example, I'd like to be an amazingly sociable person who thrives in situations like school gala's and family weddings etc. I used to feel so shit about the fact that I struggle massively in those situations, feeling more like a rabbit caught in headlights than a social butterfly. I had to adjust my values in order to accept that being introverted and lacking social skills is actually OK. Reality previously didn't align with my notion of who I wanted to be, now it does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For every positive quality I could say I have, the opposite is also true about me in different measures. Most people have a higher opinion of me than I have of myself, because none of them know as much about me as I do. My challenge is remaining aware of both my light and dark sides and not falling back on my ingrained tendency to be self-deprecating and self effacing on here. I’m not particularly self-deprecating outside of Fab, but for some reason this environment has been fertile ground for my self doubt to flourish more freely. I also think the forum gives me a chance to say things that I just simply don’t talk about outside of Fab. I think it is probably all to do with my underlying reasons for being here and how I feel about them.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Are you truely the type of person that you say you are?

Do you really live up to the qualities that you say you have?

Is it all just a front to the world?

Do you live up to these qualities?

The older I get, the more and more interactions with people I have, I beces more and more clear that none of us every really live up to the person we want to be, or think we are.

Or maybe just maybe, you’ve just become more cynical."

Enlightened realism!

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