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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We often make judgements about other people knocking about the forums (I know, I was shocked too!) and then decide about whether we want to chat with or meet them. But sometimes we get it wrong, very wrong...

My question is; when have you got it spectacularly wrong or changed your mind about someone and why?

Obviously you don't have to name names, a general idea would suffice.

Over to you folks, 'fess up!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm not much of a judgemental person really.

I may distance myself from somebody based on their actions/answers but I very rarely make sweeping judgements about them to thst point that they are unable to redeem themselves. I'd like to think if I made a bad impression (unintentionally) I'd be given a second chance.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

There used to be a woman on here. We couldnt stand each other always hissing and snarling at each other. We met at a social she said hi to me and i said hi to her. The rest is history shes been one of my closest friends for nine years(although she no longer posts)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I haven't yet. I have had "pleasant with reservations" turn to hell yes or hell no before, though.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I tend to at least wait until they respond before I make judgements. But if not they tend to be generalised stereotypical judgements based on what I can see.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There used to be a woman on here. We couldnt stand each other always hissing and snarling at each other. We met at a social she said hi to me and i said hi to her. The rest is history shes been one of my closest friends for nine years(although she no longer posts)"

That's actually lovely!

It's also exactly the sort of thing that I'm talking about!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Someone I didn't know very well but thought seemed like a nice enough guy from his posts sent me an abusive message when I was relatively new to the forums, accusing me of being a fake profile saying I should have stolen better pictures etc

He was later found to be white knighting on a thread about abusive men saying how terrible they were

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"Someone I didn't know very well but thought seemed like a nice enough guy from his posts sent me an abusive message when I was relatively new to the forums, accusing me of being a fake profile saying I should have stolen better pictures etc

He was later found to be white knighting on a thread about abusive men saying how terrible they were "

Wow, what a prick.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

I find it hard to judge people by what they have said on here, A lot of people have set themselves a online persona and stick with it even though they don't act like that in real life

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm not much of a judgemental person really.

I may distance myself from somebody based on their actions/answers but I very rarely make sweeping judgements about them to thst point that they are unable to redeem themselves. I'd like to think if I made a bad impression (unintentionally) I'd be given a second chance. "

OK, that's a fair and reasoned answer. I guess everyone is going to latch onto the word 'judgement' in my OP.

Have you ever seen someone's pictures and thought 'not for me' then they post a new one or you see them in the flesh and you've changed your mind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually instantly dislike people who remind me of myself, that's either good sense or stupid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have misjudged things in the past. You make the best decision you can on the information available at the time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I haven't yet. I have had "pleasant with reservations" turn to hell yes or hell no before, though. "

That's a fairly decent swing, when one of those 'hell yes/no's' turns on its head, that's what I'm talking about.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Also there was a guy who i didnt know well but was an obnoxious prick. I went to a club one day met the most lovely charming man and we ended up playing all day. Afterwards i asked if he was on fab and his username and it was the same guy (hes no longer here either)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/07/19 17:55:52]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have misjudged things in the past. You make the best decision you can on the information available at the time."

That's very true, no one intentionally makes a bad decision.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Theres also a guy on here at the moment who ive changed my opinion of lately for the better. Seems i do a lot of judging

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find it hard to judge people by what they have said on here, A lot of people have set themselves a online persona and stick with it even though they don't act like that in real life"

Agreed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Theres also a guy on here at the moment who ive changed my opinion of lately for the better. Seems i do a lot of judging "

I wasn't going to say anything but it does seem that there's a running theme...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't judge. I don't like any of you equally

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

There are a few that I have changed my mind about, some for the the good and some for the bad. All of that is obviously based on what I see in the forums or done chats I’ve had with the individuals. Would my perception of some of these change if I met them in person, I’m not sure is the honest answer.

I’ve not changed my mind yet about anyone I’ve met, as I have a very good understanding of them prior to meeting them through our conversations

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

Yes I have misjudged. I thought he was something very different from our conversations. In person he was initially as I thought but by the end I stepped away because I realised his approach was polar opposite to mine. Since then my decision to step away has proved itself to be the right choice. It was a close call but I’m relieved that I didn’t end up where I regretted something. I trusted my instincts

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

Yes on the odd occasion I try not to juge other too quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try and keep an open mind about everyone, although it's not easy if you read some of the posts in the politics forum!!

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Yes I have misjudged. I thought he was something very different from our conversations. In person he was initially as I thought but by the end I stepped away because I realised his approach was polar opposite to mine. Since then my decision to step away has proved itself to be the right choice. It was a close call but I’m relieved that I didn’t end up where I regretted something. I trusted my instincts "

Gut instincts are pivotal in person!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes I have misjudged. I thought he was something very different from our conversations. In person he was initially as I thought but by the end I stepped away because I realised his approach was polar opposite to mine. Since then my decision to step away has proved itself to be the right choice. It was a close call but I’m relieved that I didn’t end up where I regretted something. I trusted my instincts "

That sounds like a very lucky escape

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the forums I change my mind about people all the time. I very rarely get PM from the forum so I just have to go by what I read on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try and keep an open mind about everyone, although it's not easy if you read some of the posts in the politics forum!!"

I stay out of there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Try and keep an open mind about everyone, although it's not easy if you read some of the posts in the politics forum!!"

It's either brave, crazy or a bit of both to stray onto the politics forum!

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Yes I have misjudged. I thought he was something very different from our conversations. In person he was initially as I thought but by the end I stepped away because I realised his approach was polar opposite to mine. Since then my decision to step away has proved itself to be the right choice. It was a close call but I’m relieved that I didn’t end up where I regretted something. I trusted my instincts

Gut instincts are pivotal in person! "

I trust my gut. It doesn’t let me down

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Yes I have misjudged. I thought he was something very different from our conversations. In person he was initially as I thought but by the end I stepped away because I realised his approach was polar opposite to mine. Since then my decision to step away has proved itself to be the right choice. It was a close call but I’m relieved that I didn’t end up where I regretted something. I trusted my instincts

That sounds like a very lucky escape"

I believe it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try and keep an open mind about everyone, although it's not easy if you read some of the posts in the politics forum!!

I stay out of there. "

Can't say I blame you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest all my judgements are based on the assumption of will they or wont they want to talk to me.

After that its about how the conversation will go.

Its hard to know with this site though.

The toughest part is wondering what judgements people will make of you first.

The ones that confuse me are when you meet great people and then never hear from them again at clubs. I put it down to the scene.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try and keep an open mind about everyone, although it's not easy if you read some of the posts in the politics forum!!

It's either brave, crazy or a bit of both to stray onto the politics forum!"

I consider it an opportunity to add to our block list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I have and it was a complete and utter nightmare afterwards

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Went to a party where a couple came in, I straight away thought nope not my kind of people. They messaged me and by God I'm glad... they are now wonderful friends and taught me that first impressions arent always true xx

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By *etite HandfulWoman
over a year ago

Chester

First impressions count and lets be honest there are thousands of people on here so no need to change opinions on people just easier to avoid them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes, I have and it was a complete and utter nightmare afterwards "

Oh dear! I'm sorry to hear that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Went to a party where a couple came in, I straight away thought nope not my kind of people. They messaged me and by God I'm glad... they are now wonderful friends and taught me that first impressions arent always true xx"

That's really lovely!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"First impressions count and lets be honest there are thousands of people on here so no need to change opinions on people just easier to avoid them. "

There is that approach too! I've found that even though the swinging community is across the UK, its still pretty small and there's only a couple of degrees of separation between folks. People bump into each other randomly and sometimes impressions change as a result.

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