FabSwingers.com forum: You know you're getting old when...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...an all-nighter means not getting up to go for a piss!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.

'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember that.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream...I got it, for goodness sake!'

So he toddles off into the kitchen and after about 20 minutes he returns and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says.....'Where's my toast ?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

brill

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

It takes you all night to do,

what you use to do all night!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Within a relatively short period of time, visit your GP alot more than you ever did throughout your entire adult youth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you start having a different kind of gushing and its got nothing to do with sex.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I just watched paranormal activity 3 or something like that...

was scared

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When you stay in on the saturday night before your birthday instead of going out getting hammered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the word "meeting" makes you think of directors reports instead of hot sex...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You see a profile where the girl in question won't meet you as guys your age are 'old enough to be her dad'! At 35? Fuck me - i'm definately getting old! Or they're just starting much younger!!

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

When you are watching a porn film and think "that bed looks comfy" !!

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By *amslam1000Man
over a year ago

willenhall

when you have just met someone and you find out you used to babysit there father

she's 20 btw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can remember when "Hey mate, do you want some crack.....?" was a sexual proposition

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

"When you are watching a porn film and think "that bed looks comfy" !!

Yes. lol

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

you know you're getting old when you and your teeth don't sleep together any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you have to start trimming your nose n ear hairs lol

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

When you realise everything in the thread is about you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your kids hold YOUR hand to cross the road.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're going to more funerals than weddings.

You can't get up without making a noise, and sigh with relief when you sit down.

You have a cupboard of sexy heeled shoes but live in Clarks "comfy fit" flats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when you go mental and you dont know why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When going clubbing means taxiing your kids into town and then going home to bed

And on my birthday, I no-longer stay up late, probably working has more to do it with as really I would just rather have an early night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When the word "meeting" makes you think of directors reports instead of hot sex...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you suddenly realise that Radio 2 is the new Radio 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you suddenly realise that Radio 2 is the new Radio 1

...or you don't listen to music stations at all but talk ones like LBC.

The song you've been humming for days and you decide to buy on Amazon...is only available on vinyl.

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

when you find a 45 of litle eva's locomotion in your records

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"When you suddenly realise that Radio 2 is the new Radio 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you suddenly realise that Radio 2 is the new Radio 1

.... and when a TOG rating owes more to Terry Wogan than a cover for steamy bodies...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when you realise that everything that as already been said is true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when you realise that everything that as already been said is true

.... When you cant remember whats been said...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you suddenly realise that Radio 2 is the new Radio 1

...or you don't listen to music stations at all but talk ones like LBC.

The song you've been humming for days and you decide to buy on Amazon...is only available on vinyl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you suddenly realise that Radio 2 is the new Radio 1

.... and when a TOG rating owes more to Terry Wogan than a cover for steamy bodies...

What's TOG

is this something as an oldie I have to learn or something as an oldie I have forgotten what it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you suddenly realise that Radio 2 is the new Radio 1

.... and when a TOG rating owes more to Terry Wogan than a cover for steamy bodies...

What's TOG

is this something as an oldie I have to learn or something as an oldie I have forgotten what it was

"Terrys Old Geezers" (or Gits)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well reading this thread reassures me im stil young

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well reading this thread reassures me im stil young

Oi... I'll stick you over my knee young lady...

....once I get me arthritis meds sorted...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well reading this thread reassures me im stil young

When reading comments like this turns me into a grumpy old woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're going to more funerals than weddings.

You can't get up without making a noise, and sigh with relief when you sit down.

You have a cupboard of sexy heeled shoes but live in Clarks "comfy fit" flats.

Very true I now have shoes I call bedroom heels coz only wear them in bedroom lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your goatee is whiter than a white goat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when u develop a fondness for flatcaps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when u develop a fondness for flatcaps"
or trilby's

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You know you're getting old when you do something you swore you'd never ever do and tell the kids to turn that bloody racket down!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/03/12 10:47:31]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

or when your kids ask, "Daddy, what's an LP?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My 3y/o kept repeating himself yesterday so I told him to 'change the record'. Then Siren and I looked at each other and realised he'll never have any concept of what that means.

Fuck do I feel old!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody hell wishy, now that is sad!!!

God we're old!!

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