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A bit of advice needed (sorry not a fun thread)

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Ok, my mum died a year ago, partly due to care home issues.

We have been trying to get to the bottom of the safeguarding issues raised for the past year.

Conflicting info has gone back and forth with soc services for a year.

People are seemingly covering each others backs and it has descended into a he said/she said situation.

Apart from the fact it's hard to go over and over the details of my mums death I feel like saying fcuk it and passing it over to negligence solicitors.

Has anyone else had a similar situation and what did you do?

Thanks.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I'm sorry this happened to you and your mum, loosing her would have been hard enough to deal with but to try and do this alone too is too much, I would get the solicitors involved ASAP. You need to do you.

Jo.Xx

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By *scanioMan
over a year ago

Runcorn

My mum passed away through dementia, there was issues with the nursing home where my mum stayed. My only advice is go down the line of legal advice, don't leave it any longer as all your thoughts and memories are still fresh in your mind.

I am sure there will be medical records that will back up your situation on your mothers concerns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no experience or advice to give, just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly, I can only imagine how I would feel if I felt that either of my parents had been failed

I applaud you in not letting it drop

I would speak to a legal professional in care negligence

That will allow you to grieve and give you headspace that is potentially lacking at the moment

It also puts you in a stronger position for a positive outcome, even if that outcome is someone accepting and being held responsible for their failings

Social services will have the weight of the Local Authority or Health Authority behind them

They will have legal resources that you, as a family, don't

A professional in the negligence field will know have to navigate round the walls that are being built to thwart your attempts to bring someone to account

I would, however, approach with caution those companies who advertise on radio and TV

Find someone local, someone who has the same moral and ethical fire as you do, as opposed to solely looking at £'s

There are solicitors out there with a social conscience

Good Luck in finding the resolution you need

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you need to decide what's best for you and your family in the long term. Litigation is a very long and hard road with no guarantee of closure at the end of it. On the other hand you want and need to know what went on.

Take professional advice.

I wish you luck and resolution x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My neighbour got almost 300k payout for similar vs nhs

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

My nan fell and broke her hip in a Care Home whilst in there for respite care (on her first day). She was moved to Hospital where she was left in her bed untreated, in pain, told to defecate in her bed as there was nobody available to toilet her and died from a Heart Attack, which i suspect was from stress.

My mum held the Care Home responsible due to poor health and safety. We tried to get information from them about the accident and how it happened and they completely shut down and closed ranks and got incredibly defensive. This went on for months. They wouldn’t even allow us to go and collect my nans things that had been left from where she had gone to the Hospital.

In the end my Step-Dad became very ill so my mum dropped the matter to focus her time and energy on looking after him but yes, our experience was pretty much as yours - in that we got no info at all.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

There's a time limit in putting in a medical negligence claim: three years. If you're going to go down that route do it now while the details are fresh, evidence don't get "lost" etc.

It's a long process and can take over your life, especially if there's an element, no matter how unfounded, of guilt.

I say that as a mother who blamed the medical profession for my son's death and a former head of personal injury.

Sorry for your loss.

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Thank you all.

Your advice and support, as always,is really appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't help sorry, just want to send virtual hugs. Xx

Hope you can have a family memorial meal or something to celebrate and remember your mum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to work in a nursing home.

The care industry in this country is shocking. We all know it. Yet none of us are doing much about it. We're squabbling over Brexit and the like.

There is a solution. We adapt our society a little and become less possession and finance centric. Revert back to the way families are supposed to live, how the tribe is supposed to raise the child and care for the elderly.

Most carers are good people being paid shite wages, for long, difficult hours with little to no thanks. Under staffed and overworked. Blamed and accountable by a scapegoat system that will pass the buck where it will.

I was once accused by a bitter colleague of calling a difficult resident an "Old witch" To her face. I said it in private by the smoking area. My manager despised me for calling CQC on the home. CQC did nothing about our staffing levels or investigating into why residents had fallen over or left in urine soaked nappies for hours. They even told the manager if was me who whistleblew.

Yet at the end of it all.. I was asked to leave or go on the "Not allowed to work with vulnerable people list" Despite having more positive feedback from residents and relatives than anyone else in the home.

In a long winded way what I'm trying to say is.. Some issues are institutional.. the management, the politics, the way things are, in which case it's better to get political than get revenge. If it you think it's an individual at fault.. then keep on probing. They do cover each others backs.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Sorry for your loss, it’s hard enough losing someone without it being due to negligence.

Have you contacted the care commission or the equivalent for your area?

All care establishments are held accountable by these agencies so maybe get further speaking to them x

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Thanks all.

This has never been about getting "revenge".

When we first raised the safeguarding issues (which were also backed up by a other independent person who also had concerns) it was more about making sure what happened to mum didn't happen to someone else.

A year down the line, when managerial staff have either lied or obstructed a truthful investigation I now feel that we are banging our heads against the wall.

I fully understand that care staff are mostly doing a hard job for minimum wages.

Without going into details that isn't what this is about.

Thanks again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks all.

This has never been about getting "revenge".

When we first raised the safeguarding issues (which were also backed up by a other independent person who also had concerns) it was more about making sure what happened to mum didn't happen to someone else.

A year down the line, when managerial staff have either lied or obstructed a truthful investigation I now feel that we are banging our heads against the wall.

I fully understand that care staff are mostly doing a hard job for minimum wages.

Without going into details that isn't what this is about.

Thanks again.

"

I've no experience of this sort of thing directly but I would say that if it's about answers and safeguarding future problems then absolutely do not let it drop.

Companies like this are intended and depend on covering each other and making mistakes or negligence difficult to pin down. Get help legally and make as much noise as you can. A lot of these home are run by profit organisations, the more noise you make, the harder it hurts them and the more likely they are to give you answers to shut you up!

Keep at it and I'm so sorry for your loss. Answers are the least that we should expect regarding a loved ones death.

Tea

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