FabSwingers.com forum: Do you feel more confident now your on fab ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dear friends Fabbers and Forumites.

Oh goodness me , another simply spiffing sunny day .

The sun has got his hat on and people are a dashed more cheery . It's amazing what a little warm weather can do to people's attitudes. More smiley , more open and a tad more frisky.

This God me thinking , has your experience of fab , chatting, meeting people and uploading your pictures , given you a greater sence of confidence in your life ?

For me it has , I was always body conscious, and rather dismissive and harsh on myself .

Now I feel super confident and I am at peace with myself .

What's been your experience

Taff

Ps Remeber be as compassionate with yourself as you are with others

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Absolutely!

I’m not completely happy with myself. But this place as filled me with confidence.

Clubs help too. It’s such an amazing feeling walking about in sexy lingerie.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Definitely. Body acceptance and finding people with a similar mindset.

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By *entleman55Man
over a year ago

S’th West Mc/r

Yes, it’s certainly brought out a nice side of me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely. I've lost count of the amount of times I've walked into Sainsburys and said "kiss, fuck or pint" to the assistant and then been ushered into the goods lift before fucking her between floors.

Heart fab

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

In some respects yes, in others no - it's made me appreciate, and acknowledge, that I am attractive to some, which is something I'd never thought before and that in itself gives a level of confidence to post pics or chat to people.

It's also shown me that generally speaking I'm a decent guy who is likeable which again breeds a level of confidence.

In other respects it's had little effect, I'm still fairly reserved and shy in person until I feel comfortable with people and don't have a great deal of confidence in my sexual "abilities" but a lot of that is in my head and something I deal with in my own way.

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By *he witch returnsWoman
over a year ago

somewhere over the rainbow in SW Devon

I can say being on Fab has boosted my confidence. Being on my own left me doubting my sexuality.

Now, however I'm more confident and enjoy who I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely shook off society's perceptions a long time ago thanks to going to clubs

I love the song lyric, if everybody looked the same, we'd get tired of looking at each other...

Never a truer word spoken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both really do x

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I would say it has made me more comfortable in myself and baby shelf / squidginess.

Confidence wise, I’ve always found it easy to meet new people probably due to my upbringing of constantly moving. However, it has not changed how I dress, I’m always covered up from ankles to neck in every day life.

Strangely all those concerns disappear when I’m behind closed doors with someone

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Yes

We're so much more honest and open about how we're feeling and what we want or need

I think some more vanilla couples sometimes miss out on that as they don't want to express a desire to explore because of the risk of offending or upsetting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No change in anything for me for being on fab .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say more confident, there some whole other issues surrounding that. However, I am much more accepting that some people might actually find me attractive. Which is a vast improvement for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep

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By *iptonblokeMan
over a year ago

tipton

Not confident at all just confirmed to myself how small my cock really is lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not particularly..

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

No....

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By *TkitkatWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Yes. I mean, in the past whoever I was with was always reasonably complimentary about me but deep down you often think "Are they just saying that because they're with me?" and you often wonder if people who don't actually know you wouldn't give you a second glance.

It is a huge confidence boost both pysically and mentally to know that you're not just getting appreciation from people who are biased or saying nice things because they think they should.

It makes you feel 10 ft tall sometimes, that you can be yourself with all your bits and bobs that you never really liked about yourself appreciated for being part of you!

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

It has helped me accept me as I am

And it has certainly made me realise I'm not over the hill yet and that there are still people who find me attractive. And has given me the more confidence to at least try and talk to new people and try and be more outgoing . I'm really shy normally so it has helped me with that.i don't think I'll ever be the life and soul of the party but maybe I won't be hiding in a corner either as much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes since i first joined if thats possible

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By *aisyDDWoman
over a year ago

North West

Yes this is a great place to be. It shows how everyone likes people of all shapes, sizes, ages etc.

I feel loads better about my body xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, never had much confidence and being on here seems to knock more and more out of me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My body confidence has definitely grown, even if I take the Mickey out of all the signs that I’m not as young as I once was. I look better now and I’m fitter and healthier since I’ve been on Fab than I was before. I’ve also rediscovered creative talents I forgot I had. On the whole it’s been good for me.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Yes mostly, sometimes not.

Still not hugely happy with the way I look right now but taking steps to improve that for me, not anyone else.

Nice post Taff, and it is a lovely day, might have to spend some time on my neglected garden...not my lady garden btw

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely. Before I joined fab I'd never have shown my body off like I do. Being here and seeing everyone being proud of their bodies is inspiring.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Absolutely. Before I joined fab I'd never have shown my body off like I do. Being here and seeing everyone being proud of their bodies is inspiring. "

And I'm sure we're all happy that you do Rubi

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By *TkitkatWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"Absolutely. Before I joined fab I'd never have shown my body off like I do. Being here and seeing everyone being proud of their bodies is inspiring. "

So you should be

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

Yep - all round confidence is definitely growing by the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had a problem with confidence but since joining fab I have more resistance towards assholes and more than happy telling them where to go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taff as always you pose interesting questions. If I’m totally honest my confidence has shrunk somewhat being on here. I’m quite a chatty guy and I’ve always relied on my humour and personality to break down walls etc but for one reason or another I find it tough to do on here. But c’est la vie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not necessarily more confident as i never had that problem.

I think we are both a bit happier with our body images though.

All you see on the telly or the internet is bleach blond beauties with their perfect airbrushed pictures.

That aint us!

Seeing other normal people doing normal things and apparently having great fun doing it has made us both feel a little more comfortable about the love handles and the wobbly bits!

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By *n4MotionMan
over a year ago

Braintree

I wouldn't say fab is a place a guy gets much in the way of confidence building done

I'm sure it's a very different story for the ladies

And I guess it can make or break a couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Odd one for me.

It's swings and roundabouts, I wouldn't say the act of being on fab itself has given me more confidence because the moment you join as a women, with fuck all written on your profile and no pics at all you're being called gorgeous and beautiful so you realise within 0.05 seconds you're viewed as a slab of meat with a pulse and a cunt to be used.

It's time that does the trick.

Finding yourself and stumbling upon people who will happily enjoy time in your company in and out of the bedroom.

It's moments when you're feeling blue and others notice your style of posting is a little off, they recognise it and send a message to check in on you, or because you've not been posting much and they want to make sure you're ok.

It's making genuine mates who give a shit about you, not what they can gain from you.

Ultimately for me it has been the people I've met, friends I've made, people who message to ask for advice because they respect your opinion and know I'll be straight with my answers and clubs I've been to that's given me confidence, not fab itself.

Confidence in the who I am and what I believe in. Confidence that even if I have a wobble I'm not a bad person, I may just be having a bad time. Confidence to know that even when I don't believe in myself, other people do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Odd one for me.

It's time that does the trick.

Finding yourself and stumbling upon people who will happily enjoy time in your company in and out of the bedroom.

It's making genuine mates who give a shit about you, not what they can gain from you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me has been the opposite ,joined with high expectations, but has been a bit of a reality check. But still live in hope of meeting some sexy fabbers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Odd one for me.

It's time that does the trick.

Finding yourself and stumbling upon people who will happily enjoy time in your company in and out of the bedroom.

It's making genuine mates who give a shit about you, not what they can gain from you.

You’re right P it’s so much about the people I’ve interacted with, however being on the forum actually taught me a huge amount. I was confident in many aspects of my life but the people on here that I’ve come to know have helped me to integrate more of my private self that the rest of my world doesn’t see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope, never had much confidence and being on here seems to knock more and more out of me"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are days when I do, I’ve learned that while I’m not everyone’s cup of tea there’s a lot of people who do find me attractive. I’m struggling to accept myself as I am, but getting there slowly x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Odd one for me.

.....

Just this for me. I have no faith in what people say anymore. If I say no they'll just mail another slab of meat.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"Absolutely. Before I joined fab I'd never have shown my body off like I do. Being here and seeing everyone being proud of their bodies is inspiring. "

Not everybody is so proud of their bodies. I'm certainly not, hence the lack of body shots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to go through stages being on here, on some days I feel very confident and I’ve been able to share pictures that I never thought anyone would want to see and receive incredibly positive responses to them.

However, I also go through stages of thinking I’m using fab for all the wrong reasons and that I shouldn’t actually be on here because in some ways it’s made me less confident because I know I could put a bag over my head and not utter a single word and get the same attention from 90% of men the on here.

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By *n4MotionMan
over a year ago

Braintree

I'm confident there are at least a few guys on here wanting to meet me maybe its time to rethink my sexuality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a guy on Fab who doesn't do as well as some, I'd say if anything it has knocked my confidence a little. I don't think I'm particularly bad looking, I am fairly fit and I treat everyone with respect, and I still struggle to get replies from locals. I understand that there are way more guys than women, but when you see regular status updates saying how guys only send crude messages and dick pics, it makes you wonder why you rarely get a reply to nice well thought out messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, definitely.

When I joined I was at a very low eb regarding how I felt about myself both physically and mentally. Through fab (specifically the forums) I rediscovered that I am attractive and that I am an intelligent and articulate individual, that my opinion is valid and that I'm worth so much more than I was being told about myself.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a guy on Fab who doesn't do as well as some, I'd say if anything it has knocked my confidence a little. I don't think I'm particularly bad looking, I am fairly fit and I treat everyone with respect, and I still struggle to get replies from locals. I understand that there are way more guys than women, but when you see regular status updates saying how guys only send crude messages and dick pics, it makes you wonder why you rarely get a reply to nice well thought out messages. "

The wilds of Fab outside the forum knocked my confidence too. When I discovered the forum I had just met with a very nice local woman, my first meeting in nearly 4 years. We were talking about visiting a club together so I posted a thread on the Clubs message board. I got a mixed bag of answers and some were very challenging, but a I enjoyed the intellectual jousting that went on. Sadly the woman left the site before we took things any further, but rather than get disheartened again I checked out the Lounge. I’ve become furniture in there since.

There are people in here that have each other’s bst interests at heart and it has been finding them and becoming friends that has made the difference here. I am unsuccessful by most obvious measures of Fab success, but alive come to realise they aren’t the real measures of success on here. The true measures are the love you feel from friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am less confident that I was before joining fab but more knowledgeable now though

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By *nowwhitexxx1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Sometimes yes and sometimes no.. Fab has a strange effect were at times it really does help.. But then other times it can just zap your self esteem and confidence...

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"Sometimes yes and sometimes no.. Fab has a strange effect were at times it really does help.. But then other times it can just zap your self esteem and confidence... "

I’d love to boost your confidence

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By *aisy SteinerWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

I would say the people I've met through Fab have certainly boosted my confidence.

I still have some way to go but I'm definitely much happier than I was, again, down to the company more than validation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great Post man and a great way to look at it! I will whole heartedly agree with you in that the forum is a wonderful place and The Lounge is full of great people that have been a pleasure to talk to and a treasure to have them here. The love, advice and time that you guys give daily, it keeps me here and makes me very happy with it.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Chicken and egg sort of thing for me, as I was already growing more confident and comfortable in my own skin when I joined. But FAB and the club scene has definitely been part of my growth in confidence and social skills. Plus helped me to explore and understated my self. Plus it's been great fun and I met my partner through it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Absolutely. Before I joined fab I'd never have shown my body off like I do. Being here and seeing everyone being proud of their bodies is inspiring.

Not everybody is so proud of their bodies. I'm certainly not, hence the lack of body shots."

I was incredibly ashamed of my body when I first joined Fab.

I appreciate that it's different for a guy, but putting yourself out there and having it not be terrible is liberating. And eventually, along with other things, it's helped me to stop hating the body I've got.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I'm like a pig in shit naked now amongst strangers and freinds a like. It's so liberating to be comfortable in your own skin and happy with your body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not really on here but definitely from attending Clubs

i love the freedom to dress the way I want making me feel good about myself again ..... no whispers behind hands, tuts or eye rolls

As my confidence grows its starting to deafen my exes voice in my head putting my body/personality down which severely damaged me

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

Through being on fab I have gained slightly more confidence. I show my body off in photos and feel absolutely comfortable walking around clubs in just my underwear. Although I’m not good at most social situations, I find with fab folk, on a one to one or in a group, I have no issues apart from that nervous excitement you get when you’re really looking forward to something.

It’s easy to go too far though with all the fake complaints and smoke blowing that goes on especially when you see that the people doing it say the same thing to every female. I take all that with a massive pinch of salt though which is something you learn pretty quickly in here. Unfortunately I’ve recently had the rug pulled from under my by someone I thought was a friend and trusted so it’s caused me to retreat a bit and knocked my confidence but only on here and only for a short while.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and no....

It's made me realise that I am actually attractive to some people, I used to believe otherwise.

It's also knocked my confidence, until about 5 years ago when I really found my feet on fab, I paid far too much attention to the negative comments before that.

My confidence is still growing, but I think that's mostly due to having an incredible partner and learning to love myself as I am.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some great comments chums in so glad you feel more confident and I do think posting pictures can be liberating .

I post pictures for myself to make.me feel good . My out door ones are my favourite as I get a sense of freedom .

I think once you get a mind set of I'm happy with myself and being compassionate with one's self it's liberating.

That's why I love this forum, I know with my circumstances and age that meeting people is hard. that just enjoying splendid chats with chums is equally as much fun . It takes any pressurr to meet ans feelings of frustration away

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