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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The cat has fetched me a 'present' in the form of a dirty great rat. The horrible little fucker is scuttling around my kitchen, hubbys already gone to work the selfish twat .

There's a rat in ma kitchen, what am i gonna do?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Fart on it

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By *anTouchThisCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Shut the cat in the kitchen with it and let nature take its course.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Ewwwww you are brave, I'd be halfway down the road by now.

Open back door and shooo it out with sweeping brush maybe. Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking of cats:

https://youtu.be/T6W74NOqG_E

Saw this for the first time yesterday and it's made me laugh so much!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ewwwww you are brave, I'd be halfway down the road by now.

Open back door and shooo it out with sweeping brush maybe. Jo x"

I ain't going back in there, I've locked the cats in with. I want it assassinated before I'll venture back.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Speaking of cats:

https://youtu.be/T6W74NOqG_E

Saw this for the first time yesterday and it's made me laugh so much! "

Ma! Ma!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Speaking of cats:

https://youtu.be/T6W74NOqG_E

Saw this for the first time yesterday and it's made me laugh so much!

Ma! Ma!"

Blink motherfucker!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you got wash basket? Pop it over the top of the rat and then slide it to the door to the yard and lift up the side to let it run out only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you should dress up in your sexiest lingerie, stand in the garden and entice the little dirty rat out.

It’s proved to work on other little dirty rats hahahaha

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By *rygveMan
over a year ago

The Shires

I'm gonna fix that rat.

When you open your mouth you don't talk, you shout

And you give every body the blame,

But when they catch you up,

They will shut you up......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The cat has fetched me a 'present' in the form of a dirty great rat. The horrible little fucker is scuttling around my kitchen, hubbys already gone to work the selfish twat .

There's a rat in ma kitchen, what am i gonna do?"
hence jimmy cagneys immortal line " you dirty rat " wow your cat must be a big bugger if he's strong enough to catch a rat they are big, I'd put some thick gloves on you don't wanna get bitten get a B&Q bucket and a fork one that you throw away after and fork it into the bucket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hence the expression ' fork it '

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be careful the Rat doesn't bite your cat. Germ infested horrible things.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"The cat has fetched me a 'present' in the form of a dirty great rat. The horrible little fucker is scuttling around my kitchen, hubbys already gone to work the selfish twat .

There's a rat in ma kitchen, what am i gonna do?hence jimmy cagneys immortal line " you dirty rat " wow your cat must be a big bugger if he's strong enough to catch a rat they are big, I'd put some thick gloves on you don't wanna get bitten get a B&Q bucket and a fork one that you throw away after and fork it into the bucket "

Does it have to be from B&Q???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The cat has fetched me a 'present' in the form of a dirty great rat. The horrible little fucker is scuttling around my kitchen, hubbys already gone to work the selfish twat .

There's a rat in ma kitchen, what am i gonna do?hence jimmy cagneys immortal line " you dirty rat " wow your cat must be a big bugger if he's strong enough to catch a rat they are big, I'd put some thick gloves on you don't wanna get bitten get a B&Q bucket and a fork one that you throw away after and fork it into the bucket

Does it have to be from B&Q??? "
Well you might wanna throw that as well they're a £1

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is a shotgun overkill?

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Bring the cat back in and let them finish the job. The use a carrier bag as a glove, pick it up and and turn the bag inside out. Tie ends of bag and put in bin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yea and then fumigate your kitchen........... Bad cat

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Just be careful the Rat doesn't bite your cat. Germ infested horrible things. "

Make sure you disinfect everywhere in the kitchen once its gone.

Especially if the rat pisses anywhere, you really don't want Leptospirosis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just be careful the Rat doesn't bite your cat. Germ infested horrible things.

Make sure you disinfect everywhere in the kitchen once its gone.

Especially if the rat pisses anywhere, you really don't want Leptospirosis. "
lol or myxomatosis

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Your cat doesn't think you are a good enough hunter and is trying to teach you how to hunt. It's how they teach kittens to be effective predators like them. First they bring you stuff they've killed yo show you what you should be catching, then they bring you live food so you can practice killing it. Cats are nice like that you see

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"Just be careful the Rat doesn't bite your cat. Germ infested horrible things.

Make sure you disinfect everywhere in the kitchen once its gone.

Especially if the rat pisses anywhere, you really don't want Leptospirosis. lol or myxomatosis "

Nah that's bunnies buddy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Update.

Good Samaritan neighbour has been and removed the body of the 'orrible thing. Every surface has been steam cleaned. The cat has been suitably rewarded for his 'gift'.

All is right with the world again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Speaking of cats:

https://youtu.be/T6W74NOqG_E

Saw this for the first time yesterday and it's made me laugh so much! "

Please don't do this again, I watched your link and ended up on a path of YouTube suggested cat videos and lost an hour of my life

Dotty x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Speaking of cats:

https://youtu.be/T6W74NOqG_E

Saw this for the first time yesterday and it's made me laugh so much!

Please don't do this again, I watched your link and ended up on a path of YouTube suggested cat videos and lost an hour of my life

Dotty x"

Sorry! The first one was funny thought right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Speaking of cats:

https://youtu.be/T6W74NOqG_E

Saw this for the first time yesterday and it's made me laugh so much!

Please don't do this again, I watched your link and ended up on a path of YouTube suggested cat videos and lost an hour of my life

Dotty x

Sorry! The first one was funny thought right? "

Yes although I watched it despite having seen it already! I just can't help myself!

Dotty x

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

Do you have cheerios? They love cheerios. Just open the door, put some outside and let him go.

Source, we own rats

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By *utchersDogMan
over a year ago

Bromley

Get d*unk, then you won't care about the rat.

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By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed


"Update.

Good Samaritan neighbour has been and removed the body of the 'orrible thing. Every surface has been steam cleaned. The cat has been suitably rewarded for his 'gift'.

All is right with the world again. "

Did you reward your neighbour if you know what I mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just be careful the Rat doesn't bite your cat. Germ infested horrible things.

Make sure you disinfect everywhere in the kitchen once its gone.

Especially if the rat pisses anywhere, you really don't want Leptospirosis. lol or myxomatosis

Nah that's bunnies buddy."
bunnies are everywhere especially in swinging world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stuff it inside your vagina love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dog used to do this! I think she thought she was a cat too so thoughtful aren't they?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Update.

Good Samaritan neighbour has been and removed the body of the 'orrible thing. Every surface has been steam cleaned. The cat has been suitably rewarded for his 'gift'.

All is right with the world again.

Did you reward your neighbour if you know what I mean "

Yes.

I said "thank you very much, I really appreciate the help, I know I'm a wuss" to my 70 year old neighbour.

His reward is the fluffy feeling of kindness, by helping the damsel in distress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And here we have a valuable lesson in communication.

The pussy brought what it thought was a surprise gift into the family home.

The gift was only seen that way by the pussy. Mortified and disgusted I believe is the correct terminology for how others felt about the gift.

The rat had the potential to be harmful, soil the family home, and cause friction between the pussy and others.

Moral of this story...

Be wary which guests you invite into your household, coz even though they may look the part and seem like something everyone may enjoy, they're nothing more than unwanted rats. Talk the same language and sing from the same hymn sheet.... and don't let your pussy make the decisions!

P

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And here we have a valuable lesson in communication.

The pussy brought what it thought was a surprise gift into the family home.

The gift was only seen that way by the pussy. Mortified and disgusted I believe is the correct terminology for how others felt about the gift.

The rat had the potential to be harmful, soil the family home, and cause friction between the pussy and others.

Moral of this story...

Be wary which guests you invite into your household, coz even though they may look the part and seem like something everyone may enjoy, they're nothing more than unwanted rats. Talk the same language and sing from the same hymn sheet.... and don't let your pussy make the decisions!

P"

I you.

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