Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don’t think men should be letting you know they find others attractive even if they do. But obviously in swinging couples this must happen, I guess it’s the openness about it that they embrace But sorry for me it’s going to make me feel unattractive and too old or too fat and just too ugly if any man was saying that, a nice man wouldn’t say that because they know it would cause hurt feelings and I would want anyone that was checking women out constantly " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! " maybe you ought to look at ways of trying to feel better about yourself and then maybe hubbies wandering eyes will stray less | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I do feel guilty for being bitchy though when I know it’s my fault. " This might sound really patronising and genuine apologies if it does but if you're quite a volatile, passionate and reactionary sort (hotheaded bitch basically) like myself, before you respond to something, count to an arbitary number of your choosing and then reply. Give yourself time. And think about what your immediate gut response was. It'll help you realise your behaviour and eventually modify it. Or so I hope. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! maybe you ought to look at ways of trying to feel better about yourself and then maybe hubbies wandering eyes will stray less " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! " Women eh? My Mrs happy to have men come on her and finger her but gets jealous if I do it!! Good job I like watching | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I can be quite jealous at times but I’m the same it’s my own insecurities. Worrying that I’m not good enough " you're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! maybe you ought to look at ways of trying to feel better about yourself and then maybe hubbies wandering eyes will stray less " Really what do you suggest ? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! " Well i fancy you, does that help balance it out? Dont beat yourself up its natural | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! " If you suffer from jealousy; is this the right lifestyle/ scene for you? But just remember, its you he is with, not them. You must have something they don't. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! maybe you ought to look at ways of trying to feel better about yourself and then maybe hubbies wandering eyes will stray less Really what do you suggest ?" Well we don't know what's making her feel bad about herself, so difficult to suggest ways to make her feel better don't you think? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! " How is he letting you know that he finds so many women attractive? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! How is he letting you know that he finds so many women attractive? " He works in a very large and very busy place with lots of people passing through, night and day. He tells me about all the hotties he sees all the time, he says it’s a constant supply of hot women. He tells me about the fun he has with his work mates ogling them and chatting them up. He also has a lot of women he works with, they all have his number and he does play with some of them. I’m not comfortable with that really as he spends more time there than he does at home. I know I have the same opportunity to play with other guys but I’d rather get most of my pleasure with him, not the other way round. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! How is he letting you know that he finds so many women attractive? He works in a very large and very busy place with lots of people passing through, night and day. He tells me about all the hotties he sees all the time, he says it’s a constant supply of hot women. He tells me about the fun he has with his work mates ogling them and chatting them up. He also has a lot of women he works with, they all have his number and he does play with some of them. I’m not comfortable with that really as he spends more time there than he does at home. I know I have the same opportunity to play with other guys but I’d rather get most of my pleasure with him, not the other way round." That does sound like a conversation about priorities and tact might be needed. Sometimes it’s not that there are other women, it’s that you don’t feel like the highest priority. And maybe a break from the relentless chat about the others would be nice. He needs you to feel that you’re number one. If he’s not doing that a gentle explanation of that might be helpful. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"He sounds like an insensitive prick" but he’s not the one that’s on fab looking for fun | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! How is he letting you know that he finds so many women attractive? He works in a very large and very busy place with lots of people passing through, night and day. He tells me about all the hotties he sees all the time, he says it’s a constant supply of hot women. He tells me about the fun he has with his work mates ogling them and chatting them up. He also has a lot of women he works with, they all have his number and he does play with some of them. I’m not comfortable with that really as he spends more time there than he does at home. I know I have the same opportunity to play with other guys but I’d rather get most of my pleasure with him, not the other way round." Read the first part of what you wrote back and ask yourself if a partner who felt secure in himself and supportive towards his partner would behave that way. You know he's doing this because your reaction reassures him that you are still interested in him. I'd ask him why he feels the need to boost his ego by hurting you. He's also disrespectful towards the women who pass through his work place in my opinion. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"He sounds like an insensitive prick but he’s not the one that’s on fab looking for fun " The lady is on here with his full knowledge | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I was a jealous person I would stay away from fabswingers altogether" This. It's not healthy for your psychological wellbeing to be feeling strong self-defeating emotions. If fab/swinging is causing this, I'd recommend giving it a break. If things improve: this mightn't be the lifestyle for you. It may even give you some time to deal with the issues and, possibly return with a new way of looking upon things? Whatever path you choose, I hope that things work out for you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"He sounds like an insensitive prick but he’s not the one that’s on fab looking for fun The lady is on here with his full knowledge " so it’s ok for op to be on here and not ok for him to find other people attractive maybe he mite not like reading her verifications he may get a bit jealous like people have said maybe op should not be in an open relationship | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"He sounds like an insensitive prick but he’s not the one that’s on fab looking for fun The lady is on here with his full knowledge so it’s ok for op to be on here and not ok for him to find other people attractive maybe he mite not like reading her verifications he may get a bit jealous like people have said maybe op should not be in an open relationship " You can have a healthy swinging relationship without constantly talking about how hot other people are. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"He sounds like an insensitive prick but he’s not the one that’s on fab looking for fun The lady is on here with his full knowledge so it’s ok for op to be on here and not ok for him to find other people attractive maybe he mite not like reading her verifications he may get a bit jealous like people have said maybe op should not be in an open relationship You can have a healthy swinging relationship without constantly talking about how hot other people are. " I suppose so but I’ve read her verifications of her conquests and maybe her fella mite get a tad jealous reading how wonderful they where | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"He sounds like an insensitive prick but he’s not the one that’s on fab looking for fun The lady is on here with his full knowledge so it’s ok for op to be on here and not ok for him to find other people attractive maybe he mite not like reading her verifications he may get a bit jealous like people have said maybe op should not be in an open relationship " I don't think anyone has said it's not ok for him to find other people attractive. I can see where you're coming from though and maybe there's some sort of tit for tat going on here | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"He sounds like an insensitive prick but he’s not the one that’s on fab looking for fun The lady is on here with his full knowledge so it’s ok for op to be on here and not ok for him to find other people attractive maybe he mite not like reading her verifications he may get a bit jealous like people have said maybe op should not be in an open relationship I don't think anyone has said it's not ok for him to find other people attractive. I can see where you're coming from though and maybe there's some sort of tit for tat going on here " maybe he doesn’t like the verifications she leaves on her conquests profiles I just find it odd she can play with others but finds it difficult he finds others attractive | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"He sounds like an insensitive prick but he’s not the one that’s on fab looking for fun The lady is on here with his full knowledge so it’s ok for op to be on here and not ok for him to find other people attractive maybe he mite not like reading her verifications he may get a bit jealous like people have said maybe op should not be in an open relationship I don't think anyone has said it's not ok for him to find other people attractive. I can see where you're coming from though and maybe there's some sort of tit for tat going on here maybe he doesn’t like the verifications she leaves on her conquests profiles I just find it odd she can play with others but finds it difficult he finds others attractive " I think the issue is with the way it's expressed. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think he sounds really insensitive and it's probably a reason why you're lashing out at him. I don't see the need for him to tell you how attractive he finds other women if he knows it makes you upset and jealous. I don't think you sound happy with this whole situation of him playing with other women and you playing with men. Is it really what you want if it's making you feel like this? Don't get me wrong it's normal to be jealous sometimes, but this sounds like more than jealousy to me. It might be a good idea for you both to sit down and have an honest and open conversation about how you're really feeling. " Well said. X | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! How is he letting you know that he finds so many women attractive? He works in a very large and very busy place with lots of people passing through, night and day. He tells me about all the hotties he sees all the time, he says it’s a constant supply of hot women. He tells me about the fun he has with his work mates ogling them and chatting them up. He also has a lot of women he works with, they all have his number and he does play with some of them. I’m not comfortable with that really as he spends more time there than he does at home. I know I have the same opportunity to play with other guys but I’d rather get most of my pleasure with him, not the other way round. Read the first part of what you wrote back and ask yourself if a partner who felt secure in himself and supportive towards his partner would behave that way. You know he's doing this because your reaction reassures him that you are still interested in him. I'd ask him why he feels the need to boost his ego by hurting you. He's also disrespectful towards the women who pass through his work place in my opinion. " This! It certainly doesn't sound like you are both swinging to me more like sanctioned cheating if anything. It comes across like he's rubbing your nose in it because he knows it hurts. I know some swingers play separately but to do that the trust, respect, support and love must be 100%. My wife is my soul mate and my world and I hers. We got into swinging purely to have experiences not possible between just 2 people. We already have the best 1 on 1 sex ever with each other we have no desire for that with anyone else. We only play together with others and it's very much 3 way, 4 way fun x If me and my wife are out I can say to her I find a women attractive do you? to which she's reply yes / no. Likewise she has to sometimes coach me about the types of people she finds attractive when we are looking for a meet on fab or in a club. I think that's a world away from me going to work fucking some of the woman at work 1 on 1 and then going home to rub my wife's nose in it. I can't fathom it tbh. You are beautiful, and have tons to offer people on meets and as a loving partner to somebody. I hope everything works out for you hun x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! How is he letting you know that he finds so many women attractive? He works in a very large and very busy place with lots of people passing through, night and day. He tells me about all the hotties he sees all the time, he says it’s a constant supply of hot women. He tells me about the fun he has with his work mates ogling them and chatting them up. He also has a lot of women he works with, they all have his number and he does play with some of them. I’m not comfortable with that really as he spends more time there than he does at home. I know I have the same opportunity to play with other guys but I’d rather get most of my pleasure with him, not the other way round." ahhhh and that's the problem possibly a swinger who doesn't want to be a swinger anymore in your case but not his, maybe you should talk to him and tell him it's not for you anymore before it ruins your marriage | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No i dont mind jealousy shows u care about something" It can fuck a relationship up though | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No i dont mind jealousy shows u care about something It can fuck a relationship up though " only if not controlled and talked about | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"He sounds like an insensitive prick but he’s not the one that’s on fab looking for fun The lady is on here with his full knowledge so it’s ok for op to be on here and not ok for him to find other people attractive maybe he mite not like reading her verifications he may get a bit jealous like people have said maybe op should not be in an open relationship You can have a healthy swinging relationship without constantly talking about how hot other people are. I suppose so but I’ve read her verifications of her conquests and maybe her fella mite get a tad jealous reading how wonderful they where " I don’t think he’s jealous, he gets a lot of pleasure from the fun I have on fab. He actively encourages me to find new play mates and loves to read messages and verifications from people I meet. He is always involved in some way for eg photos, videos of what I’m doing and I wouldn’t do any thing that he was uncomfortable with. I think that I find it hard not knowing what he’s doing and that he spends so much time with them. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No i dont mind jealousy shows u care about something" I don’t mind a little twinge but I’m being a bit mean because of it and that’s what I’d like to stop. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m really disliking a lot of things about myself lately. One biggie is that I’m mean to my partner because I’m jealous that he finds so many women so attractive. I know it’s my own insecurities making me act this way but I still keep being snappy with him. Does anyone have any good ideas about how they cope with jealousy? I don’t want to be like this! " Does your partner know you're on here? If not maybe your guilt is over shadowing your obvious insecurities. Until you work on you nothing anyone says will make a difference. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No i dont mind jealousy shows u care about something I don’t mind a little twinge but I’m being a bit mean because of it and that’s what I’d like to stop." I think it's hard to give advice on this situation as it's a very complex dynamic and individuals have their own set of rules and triggers that drive their swinging. However, I would say that the cornerstone of any swinging dynamic is communication, you need to both be able to talk about what's good and bad in any situation in order to learn, grow and avoid further hurt. The basis of this is mutual love and respect for each other, the desire and knowledge that what you're doing is pleasurable for your partner. If you're not getting anything from his meets then why is he doing it? If you're feeling jealousy then is it a personal insecurity or is that being fed by his actions? Personally I think that you both need to sit down and talk about the scenarios that you play in, why and what you do and how it benefits and feels for the other. In certain dynamics (cuckold/cuckqueen or stag/vixen) jealousy is a desired emotion as it fuels the 'reunion' sex, however, that's an expected and anticipated short term 'hit' rather than an ongoing issue. I'm rambling somewhat, so my apologies for that, my point is that some dynamics are complex, far more complex than can be ascertained via short texts, but to me, it sounds like you really need to discuss how you're feeling and why with your partner, then go from there. Tea | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does he know you're on here? Could it be guilt not jealousy? How does he tell you that he finds other women attractive? There's a nice way and a crap way. If he's making you feel shit it could be how he's saying it, and so not something you should feel bad about. X" | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No i dont mind jealousy shows u care about something I don’t mind a little twinge but I’m being a bit mean because of it and that’s what I’d like to stop." What does he think of all this? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"O also gets jealous sometimes insanely jealous.....but if your partners with you it means he wants you. My reason for being with O is because it's not just her appearance or figure or such but the complete package who she is, how she is, for me she is perfect which is probably the same with your partner...no one is perfect but it's the imperfections and everything else that make us who we are and its who you are that your partner wants...." Awwww | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Quite often jealousy is a sign of insecurity - it's not so much jealousy as the fear of being replaced or not being good enough. Talk about it, he should at least acknowledge, ideally understand where the feelings are coming from and help you realise the absurdity of them. Be kind to yourself and try and nip them in the bud when they surface - work on bettering you and loving yourself so they are less likely to. Also, sometimes they can be used in a positive way - they can make you question if you are happy with the status quo. Good luck Op, x" good advice | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Quite often jealousy is a sign of insecurity - it's not so much jealousy as the fear of being replaced or not being good enough. Talk about it, he should at least acknowledge, ideally understand where the feelings are coming from and help you realise the absurdity of them. Be kind to yourself and try and nip them in the bud when they surface - work on bettering you and loving yourself so they are less likely to. Also, sometimes they can be used in a positive way - they can make you question if you are happy with the status quo. Good luck Op, x good advice" Youre a scrumptious one | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |