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It's going up your arse...!!!

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By *obyn Graves OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

The nearest item on your right hand side...so do tell what is it going up your arse..

for me its the swell maps ..a trip to marineville cd...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ipad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am on the loo so at the moment it is going out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Garden bench

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

A photo frame

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By *ofia2014Woman
over a year ago

Galashiels

Not sure the dog would be happy

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Alexa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bedside table. This is the worst fun ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A TV remote (not sky)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok its done ,,,, can some one call an ambulance

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By *aisy SteinerWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

[Removed by poster at 22/06/19 18:00:57]

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By *aisy SteinerWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

Crap...3 tier bookshelf.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A table

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By *aiseaneyebrowMan
over a year ago

Fylde

A 50mm canon prime lens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coke can could be fun lol

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

My dog .. ewwww

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A laptop

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

A peach.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A tiger loaf

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By *r on the EdgeMan
over a year ago

accrington

The fireplace

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

on my right you say? Okay then

(chrome buttplug with rather fetching jewelled plunger)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

CD storage unit, solid wood

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl


"on my right you say? Okay then

(chrome buttplug with rather fetching jewelled plunger)"

Think pic evidence is needed ...

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By *asterslittlewhoreCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Microwave....fuck

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!


"on my right you say? Okay then

(chrome buttplug with rather fetching jewelled plunger)

Think pic evidence is needed ... "

Good job I'm not sat next to you

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

A wheelchair

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"on my right you say? Okay then

(chrome buttplug with rather fetching jewelled plunger)

Think pic evidence is needed ... "

Oh if only my Fist-It Extra Thick Water-Based Anal Fisting Lubricant was also on my right too... as it isn't , well you know what they say...

...if wishes were horses...

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By *ifty69Man
over a year ago

north tyneside

Wine glass

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl


"on my right you say? Okay then

(chrome buttplug with rather fetching jewelled plunger)

Think pic evidence is needed ...

Good job I'm not sat next to you "

With Al? Oooooo the thought of it.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An angle grinder!!

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

A cactus

Has anybody got any tweezers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tankard or deck chair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A sports direct mug!

... oh dear

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

On my right. Oh that's going to be tricky it's a brick wall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A tub of Twiglets.

Umami...

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Ouch xbox game control oh well can play fortnite by wiggling my butt cheeks pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wine glass, can I empty it first?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

A French bull dog

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By *019ReadyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

A large Ficus Tree

But it's ok - the fairy lights will will make it a jolly affair!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A flipping Cork screw

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

My phone

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

Omg it’s a fish tank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aunty Maureen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok its done ,,,, can some one call an ambulance "

You must have a big anus!

Mine is a sofa. Oh dear. I think I'll need an ambulance too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pint glass!

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By *M-NMCouple
over a year ago

Preston

Bunch of keys

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By *upremexMan
over a year ago

liverpool. huyton. near yewtree

James Holland.. Normandy 44. Hard back. And it's not going up my arse either way.

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By *actilemale4uMan
over a year ago

London

Shite... An armchair

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Wow the door lol that's gonna hurt abit I'd say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tube of hand cream

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By *aughtyLittleMissWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Sky remote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hair dryer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A cactus

Has anybody got any tweezers? "

Need help pulling those little pricks out?

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By *DreamOfGenieWoman
over a year ago

London

A lavender bush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son.

I dont like this game

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Box of tissues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sales of lube have gone up 100% after this thread I would imagine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My son.

I dont like this game"

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By *ocbigMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

a wooden clothes peg...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got off lightly. Big red cinnamon chewing gum.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

A bottle of diet .

For Anita, it's me

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By *herieWoman
over a year ago

The Burbs

A lamp. Bulb might be an issue

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

My border collie

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

A menu for a local Kashmiri restaurant. Usually the curry goes the other direction

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By *ungfunfellaMan
over a year ago

Lincoln

My housemate lol

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By *ayMyName2018Man
over a year ago

Where the Wild Things Are

A HomePod. This could be a challenge

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

1litre carton of fresh squeezed oranges.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"1litre carton of fresh squeezed oranges.

Jo.Xx "
Well at least you don't have to clench to squeeze them yourself Jo x

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By *retty GoodMan
over a year ago

Cardiff Bay

Amazon fire stick controller thank god

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A 40" foxglove

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glass bottle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A train

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fork, I like a fork, but not the eating kind

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"1litre carton of fresh squeezed oranges.

Jo.Xx Well at least you don't have to clench to squeeze them yourself Jo x"

Hahaha

I'm just thinking how nice it would be mixed with vodka

Not had that for years.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TV remote. It's long

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By *uilder506Man
over a year ago

bognor

A bag of carrots lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beer bottle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Freezer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A yukka plant! Ouch!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

An XXL can of Lynx

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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

Off to sit on the right-hand side of wifey and point her in the direction of this thread...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ert n BerylCouple
over a year ago

middlesbrough

A slim but tall 5 shelf bookcase —— ouch!!!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My poor puppy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mate lol he dont know I'm in here

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Dick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sky remote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chocolate milkshake

Holly

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By *_RiderMan
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

A reclining leather armchair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Packet of cigs and a lighter !!

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By *uttyjonnMan
over a year ago

SEA

My nan.......Oops sorry my naan

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By *ondon lad 44Man
over a year ago

swindon

Tv controller yikes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The nearest item on your right hand side...so do tell what is it going up your arse..

for me its the swell maps ..a trip to marineville cd..."

A glass of wine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Packet of cigs and a lighter !! "

Brings new meaning to one blowing smoke up ones arse

Holly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm eagerly awaiting the BBC news report on record numbers anal fissure correction operations in 2019....

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By *nhandsubmissiveMan
over a year ago

shoreditch


"The nearest item on your right hand side...so do tell what is it going up your arse..

for me its the swell maps ..a trip to marineville cd..."

A key.

Glad it isn’t one of those sharp ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son's inhaler complete with spacer!!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Bottle of water or cider, take your pick lol

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

Erm an adjustable spanner....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/06/19 20:45:18]

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF)
over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

Has anyone said the obvious yet,

TV or cd merely asking.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Has anyone said the obvious yet,

TV or cd merely asking. "

What's the obvious?!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An ironing board

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By *arenjeffCouple
over a year ago

oldham

Remote control xx

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By *ed and WolfieCouple
over a year ago

Gravesend

A raw egg.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

That would be Mrs2

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

A flannel xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An m&m

That's doable to be fair

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By *asterslittlewhoreCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"An m&m

That's doable to be fair "

Melts in the mouth...not the hand

What about the arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The cat!!!

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"The nearest item on your right hand side...so do tell what is it going up your arse..

for me its the swell maps ..a trip to marineville cd..."

Watch out for Gunboats in your estuary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Packet of biscuits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tiger balm, that’s going to make my eyes water!

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By *ux19Man
over a year ago

Essex

Doritos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A x4socket 10m extension cable.. with two chargers plugged in.. This is going to tickle

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

A grown man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pint glass xx

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF)
over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria


"Bottle of water or cider, take your pick lol "

Now a pick might be problematic.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

My dauchsund. And she's not going to be happy about this at all.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bath

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By *ifty69Man
over a year ago

north tyneside


"My dauchsund. And she's not going to be happy about this at all."
dauchsund second then you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yoghurt

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By *ifty69Man
over a year ago

north tyneside


"Yoghurt "
then me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yoghurt then me "

Nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An m&m

That's doable to be fair

Melts in the mouth...not the hand

What about the arse "

Butter wouldn't melt in my arse, nevermind am m&m

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

A coffee cup, ouch x

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

My hair straighteners. And they're switched on.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A remote control

I am going to be needing a donut cushion

LJ

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich


"My hair straighteners. And they're switched on. "

O GOSH, so hot, but you will have straight fanny hair xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

A large cushion!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

A wheatbag, luckily it's cold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My vape.

Or is someone blowing smoke up my ass?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I've got a chocolate orange next to me... can I use one segment or does it have to be the whole thing?.. can I take it out of the box first?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!


"I've got a chocolate orange next to me... can I use one segment or does it have to be the whole thing?.. can I take it out of the box first? "

Square peg round hole springs to mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've got a chocolate orange next to me... can I use one segment or does it have to be the whole thing?.. can I take it out of the box first?

Square peg round hole springs to mind "
Mini Cooper left front brake disc and pad

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *essandpatCouple
over a year ago

chester

My alarm clock x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"I've got a chocolate orange next to me... can I use one segment or does it have to be the whole thing?.. can I take it out of the box first?

Square peg round hole springs to mind Mini Cooper left front brake disc and pad "
ooo..I'd definitely take that out of the box first

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ummyluvvahMan
over a year ago

cove

White ford mondeo

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Omg! Split my sides laughing at these comments

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

My work mobile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A can of Irn Bru

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pen. Woohoo!! Winning at life.

Glad you never said left hand though, I was holding a hedgehog.........

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By *aige CoolTV/TS
over a year ago

north west

My buttplug from last night Haha seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My headphones

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Book, thankfully not too thick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fecked gear stick or can of Pepsi haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bottle of Brut 33 aftershave with the top off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spiderman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The nearest item on your right hand side...so do tell what is it going up your arse..

for me its the swell maps ..a trip to marineville cd..."
a rock!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*runs to the kitchen, comes back with cucumber, places it at right side*

How did this cucumber get here?!

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

Patio chair. If that unfolds mid way through I'm in all sorts of trouble

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By *harliebbwWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

a power bank... mmm not sure about the corners

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By *iking 777Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Ipad "

Oh lots of lube lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"*runs to the kitchen, comes back with cucumber, places it at right side*

How did this cucumber get here?! "
that's cheating and a pic or its not true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spiderman! "

Can I watch

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Luckily mine’s just some albas oil! I’ve had bigger up there so I’ll be fine!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I'm fecked gear stick or can of Pepsi haha "

The gear stick might be fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Luckily mine’s just some albas oil! I’ve had bigger up there so I’ll be fine! "

Just make sure the lid stays on it could be ouchy otherwise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"*runs to the kitchen, comes back with cucumber, places it at right side*

How did this cucumber get here?! that's cheating and a pic or its not true"

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own


"Luckily mine’s just some albas oil! I’ve had bigger up there so I’ll be fine!

Just make sure the lid stays on it could be ouchy otherwise! "

At least she won't have a blocked nose, or something

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

DVD boxed set of season 2, Westworld.

I said "DVD!!!"

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By *am4CamWoman
over a year ago

Fairy Land

Ironically, a box of Harry Potter Top Trumps

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By *oannacd67TV/TS
over a year ago

worcester

A one litre lucozade bottle

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By *iking 777Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Luckily mine’s just some albas oil! I’ve had bigger up there so I’ll be fine! "

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"Luckily mine’s just some albas oil! I’ve had bigger up there so I’ll be fine!

Just make sure the lid stays on it could be ouchy otherwise! "

Good point!

I’ve secured the list just in case!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"A one litre lucozade bottle"

I’ll lend you some lube!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pillow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pepsi max 2 litre bottle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pepsi max 2 litre bottle "

Ouch

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By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth

My head

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own


"My head "

How the hell does that work?!

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By *ewtoyouXXXMan
over a year ago

rochdale cowboy


"The nearest item on your right hand side...so do tell what is it going up your arse..

for me its the swell maps ..a trip to marineville cd..."

The dining room table? Gulp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The nearest item on your right hand side...so do tell what is it going up your arse..

for me its the swell maps ..a trip to marineville cd..."

A shower gel bottle ??

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

A cushion !

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By *2699Man
over a year ago

maldon

Oh God the labrador is laying on the sofa next to me with gooie eyes , good job shes a bitch

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