FabSwingers.com forum: Messages

By *londe8 OP Woman
over a year ago

tonbridge

Just out of curiosity would people rather their message be deleted or ignored by a person or would you rather a message back with a reason as to why somebody doesn’t want to meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't give a fuck

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I couldn't give a fuck "
End of thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not fussed. I always assume someone is not interested unless they reply positively.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I couldn't give a fuck End of thread

Love it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't really care unless the person chose to be insulting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not bothered once its sent i forgot what i sent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That strange bearded guy who is obsessed with holes in the bum took the words right out of my mouth!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That strange bearded guy who is obsessed with holes in the bum took the words right out of my mouth! And I do hope he'll fuck my ass someday"

I am.nkt that strange but okay I'll fuck your ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That strange bearded guy who is obsessed with holes in the bum took the words right out of my mouth! And I do hope he'll fuck my ass someday

I am.nkt that strange but okay I'll fuck your ass "

Even if my ass is full of cheese balls?

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Just out of curiosity would people rather their message be deleted or ignored by a person or would you rather a message back with a reason as to why somebody doesn’t want to meet?"

Indifferent either way. We can't please everyone so not bothered with any response or lack of. I only message once. Lack of any activity following that I interpret as not interested. Fair play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a 'thanks but no thanks' but if it gets deleted, I move on. No biggie. Unread just makes me think the person has a million messages to deal with so it gets overlooked.

Fab is funny like that - I've had messages deleted, then messaged the same person 8 months later and within 48 hours we're in bed. Go figure.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Once a message is sent it is forgotten about, if they respond great

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

I'm OK with the 'no reply = not interested' school of thought. People have all kinds of reasons for not replying, and I don't need to know why.... It's just much easier to believe that they thought I was out of their league

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That strange bearded guy who is obsessed with holes in the bum took the words right out of my mouth! And I do hope he'll fuck my ass someday

I am.nkt that strange but okay I'll fuck your ass

Even if my ass is full of cheese balls?

Especially for that !!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Doesn't bother me in the slightest if I don't get a reply - most of my messages are with people I have an ongoing dialogue with and I know we'll pick up again at some point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That strange bearded guy who is obsessed with holes in the bum took the words right out of my mouth! And I do hope he'll fuck my ass someday

I am.nkt that strange but okay I'll fuck your ass

Even if my ass is full of cheese balls?

Especially for that !! "

"I am not that strange" he said

"I will fuck your cheese filled anus" he said 5 minutes later

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I'd love it if people were actually polite enough to respond in the negative. Yes I hear you about the "oh but people get shirty and abusive or try and bargain with you" argument. Fine, report and block. Maybe if people who behaved like this got reprimanded instead of ignored, Fab would be a nicer and friendlier experience for all genders. It seems to me that most of the negative behavior on here exists because people's default state is to expect negative behaviour.

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

Send and dont expect anything back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No energy for it! Zero f**** don't chase anyone, Needy isn't a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd love it if people were actually polite enough to respond in the negative. Yes I hear you about the "oh but people get shirty and abusive or try and bargain with you" argument. Fine, report and block. Maybe if people who behaved like this got reprimanded instead of ignored, Fab would be a nicer and friendlier experience for all genders. It seems to me that most of the negative behavior on here exists because people's default state is to expect negative behaviour. "

This is true, however, you need to take into consideration the time it would take for people. Imagine you have 300 messages to get through, and you're saying "no thanks" to 295 of them.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Fab is funny like that - I've had messages deleted, then messaged the same person 8 months later and within 48 hours we're in bed. Go figure."

I've just had the inverse of that. Was getting on famously with someone from upcountry. They expressed an interest in coming to see me. Then next time I messaged to see how things were developing BOOM read, no reply deleted. Like, wtf? A week ago you were telling me your real name and that you wanted a bit of me!

I dunno, Fab etiquette perplexes me a bit !

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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago

from the womb and tryout to get back

This is true, however, you need to take into consideration the time it would take for people. Imagine you have 300 messages to get through, and you're saying "no thanks" to 295 of them."

But what about all the time and effort that guy has taken out of there busy life to message faf in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is funny like that - I've had messages deleted, then messaged the same person 8 months later and within 48 hours we're in bed. Go figure.

I dunno, Fab etiquette perplexes me a bit !

Yep, I've had that happen numerous times as well. I put it down to timing and choice. If you're anything like me, you're probably talking to more than one person at any given time, and you have a choice to make based on timing, location, attraction etc, Everyone is the same on here and often they'll make a choice, and you're not that choice!

Thems the breaks

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Why should I put up with abuse to make the site better?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If somebody isn't interested I would prefer a polite no thanks but appreciate women and couples have too many messages to reply to all.

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London

Hi Blonde8, I'm a sucker for wanting a reply to messages..An ackowledgement at least, right? Especially, if I've taken some time to read the profile and tailor a message. Nevertheless I need to be cool though if they haven't read or if they've deleted as it's entirely up to them. The way I see it, it's part and parcel of being on here. Ri Alban. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just out of curiosity would people rather their message be deleted or ignored by a person or would you rather a message back with a reason as to why somebody doesn’t want to meet?"
you can't fancy everyone and their will be loads who approach you with maybe rude messages and cock pics, if the messages are polite don't see why a no thanks wouldn’t be appreciated, I appreciate it but many especially women will say don't reply and block, suppose it depends how much interest you get

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Why should I put up with abuse to make the site better? "

That's the complete opposite of what I mean. Report the abuse ie not taking no for an answer. It should mean the same on here as it does in a club, no thanks is no thanks. If people who were rudely persistent found themselves locked out of their accounts they would quickly learn not to pester people. By the same token, if there wasn't a pester culture to begin with, all interactions would be or at least could be, more pleasant

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't think, given the turnover around here, it'd work. The idiots would get new accounts, the fresh meat would be rude in similar percentages to now, and women/ couples would feel more pressure to reply (which is more work for, from experience, more abuse).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Baron Tenteraku - this has been done to death on here. You're flogging a long dead horse.

The only way to get anywhere, is don't be an arsehole, and put the time in. Some people will find you attractive, and some people won't.

Some people will block you for no reason at all (it's a safety mechanism for them, nothing personal), and that's OK.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

It seems to me that in the lifestyle we should be able to talk to each other openly about sex and our desires. Ask once and if it's no, so be it, if it's yes, crack on happy days. "Persisting until she says yes" is an unpleasant fact of the vanilla world thanks to decades of message reinforcement in Holywood etc and there's no place for it here. One of the reasons I seek out this lifestyle to begin with is that I just want to be open with people if I want to have sex with them without playing out wierd oblique 'courting rituals' or being stigmatised as inappropriate or perverse behaviour like it would be in a purely vanilla environment.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"Baron Tenteraku - this has been done to death on here. You're flogging a long dead horse.

The only way to get anywhere, is don't be an arsehole, and put the time in. Some people will find you attractive, and some people won't.

Some people will block you for no reason at all (it's a safety mechanism for them, nothing personal), and that's OK."

The horse I am flogging, is why don't people report bad behaviour instead of just blocking the person? It's got to be better for the whole community....

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"I don't think, given the turnover around here, it'd work. The idiots would get new accounts, the fresh meat would be rude in similar percentages to now, and women/ couples would feel more pressure to reply (which is more work for, from experience, more abuse). "

yes and they'd have to take fresh pictures and use a different IP address and re verify their photo and all that jazz? Sounds like hassle to me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Baron Tenteraku - this has been done to death on here. You're flogging a long dead horse.

The only way to get anywhere, is don't be an arsehole, and put the time in. Some people will find you attractive, and some people won't.

Some people will block you for no reason at all (it's a safety mechanism for them, nothing personal), and that's OK.

The horse I am flogging, is why don't people report bad behaviour instead of just blocking the person? It's got to be better for the whole community.... "

I report all abuse....hardly anything happens. So I ignore and/or block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always want a reply, no matter their unacceptable reason for not wanting to meet me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Baron Tenteraku - this has been done to death on here. You're flogging a long dead horse.

The only way to get anywhere, is don't be an arsehole, and put the time in. Some people will find you attractive, and some people won't.

Some people will block you for no reason at all (it's a safety mechanism for them, nothing personal), and that's OK.

The horse I am flogging, is why don't people report bad behaviour instead of just blocking the person? It's got to be better for the whole community....

I report all abuse....hardly anything happens. So I ignore and/or block. "

Although for the past week I have replied to about 80% of my messages with a polite response and got more abuse than normal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think it matters a no is a no haha

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I report all abuse....hardly anything happens. So I ignore and/or block. "

Well there you are so I guess that is what's informing the whole thing. If reporting does nothing then the whole system is broken lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Baron Tenteraku - this has been done to death on here. You're flogging a long dead horse.

The only way to get anywhere, is don't be an arsehole, and put the time in. Some people will find you attractive, and some people won't.

Some people will block you for no reason at all (it's a safety mechanism for them, nothing personal), and that's OK.

The horse I am flogging, is why don't people report bad behaviour instead of just blocking the person? It's got to be better for the whole community....

I report all abuse....hardly anything happens. So I ignore and/or block.

Although for the past week I have replied to about 80% of my messages with a polite response and got more abuse than normal

Baron - this message backs up the theory. You might be a nice guy, but this site is teeming with relentless arseholery from huge amounts of men (and couples)

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I don’t mind if people don’t reply. I tend to forget I’ve sent anything and move on anyway

not that I message first usually.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"I always want a reply, no matter their unacceptable reason for not wanting to meet me. "

It's not always about meets though, sometimes you just want to talk to someone or ask them a legit question lol

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"Just out of curiosity would people rather their message be deleted or ignored by a person or would you rather a message back with a reason as to why somebody doesn’t want to meet?"

I prefer to be blocked

Dont forget the golden FACT

No reply ABSOLUTLY does NOT mean not interested

The fact is it is impossible to determine the cause or reason of no reply

If everyone Blocked if read and uninterested, removes the conundrum

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Sigh, I'm such an idealist...

"why can't we all just.... Get along"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, it’s dosnt bother me - I appreciate someone taking the time out to reply (even if it’s a ‘no thanks’), but wouldn’t take offence if I saw my message deleted. Block to avoid messaging and move on...no offence taken!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always want a reply, no matter their unacceptable reason for not wanting to meet me.

It's not always about meets though, sometimes you just want to talk to someone or ask them a legit question lol"

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Sigh, I'm such an idealist...

"why can't we all just.... Get along" "

The number of things where I've gone... This would be nice, but... Fab. Ha. No.

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