FabSwingers.com forum: Social dilemma ?!?!?!,!%*$*

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

Remind them it's a social and won't turn into anything.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I don’t think that’s on at all.

A lot of subconscious pressure there.

Probably cancel it.

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

Remind them it is just a social and then say that you hope they enjoy it, alone.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Remind them it is just a social and then say that you hope they enjoy it, alone. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think that’s on at all.

A lot of subconscious pressure there.

Probably cancel it. "

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say it was a social only and cancel as i would feel uncomfortable meeting after that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends who with

If its one girl we can say social till were blue in the face but will power is fickle sometimes

As evidenced

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

I would cancel, sounds like too much pressure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell them that its a waste of money as you will not be going to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had that before. I cancelled the social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cancel it. If not, share your location with a friend via WhatsApp for an hour or 2 just in case he/she turns out to be some sort of control freak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Remind them it's a social and won't turn into anything. "

Say this

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I would cancel and tell him why you are cancelling. I had a meet that I stressed was purely social and several times during the meet he asked if we could go to Quest and I felt uncomfortable saying no repeatedly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a good sign of there understanding of the word 'NO'.

Their being disrespectful at best and sound likely to be manipulative. Postpone at least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?"

But the just in case would to me make me think he does not respect its a social

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By *edmark07Man
over a year ago

liverpool

That's not on and you should cancel. Its putting pressure on you.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I would cancel it. If he’s unable to listen and respect what I say I want from a social then I won’t be meeting him.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Ok devils advocate here....

Could he have booked the hotel because he has to travel to you from another town ?

If so, it could just be a simple I don’t need to worry about what time train I’m getting and stop the social because I need to dash for transport home

If not, give him a slap for doing it in the first place, a social is a social

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

Ask him, just in case of what? Depending on his answer would determine if I would cancel.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?"

I would ask them why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this last weekend. Asked him when he’d last had sex- over 4 months ago. I cancelled the social and haven’t regretted it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask them why they can’t take my ‘it’s a social and nothing else’ as a final decision. I’d probably cancel to be honest, I’d feel too pressured

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Ask him, just in case of what? Depending on his answer would determine if I would cancel."

This.....depending on the answer I would cancel

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?"

Beware. Look what happened to this guy!!!!!

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/378653

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Who's assuming its just in case you have sex, him, you or neither of you?

I'd ask, he might just mean in case he has too much to drink but I doubt it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'd ask for clarification without showing my hand.

If it's in case you couldn't resist him, I'd cancel and probably cease contact.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The "just in case" would concern me if it had been made clear that it was only ever going to be a social with absolutely no chance of anything else.

I've booked rooms "just in case" before now but only ever having discussed it and agreed with the other person we would do so, making it clear that if we decided not to use it together that the room was hers for the night and I would come home.

To have booked it without checking first, and presuming there was no distance factor involved that meant it made sense for him to do so (in which case there was no need to tell you) then it's incredibly presumptuous at best and quite scary at worst.

As for what you do, I guess it depends on how invested in him you are - if you like him and have a good enough connection with him then perhaps just make it clear it *will* only ever be a social and that there will be no "just in case", otherwise I'd cancel the social and be done with it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We were chatting to a guy who started from a point of being interested in friendship only, his suggestion not ours. We agreed to meet for coffee he then made it clear that he wanted that to be at his home and he was investigating buying bdsm equipment for us all to use

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I'd say its very presumptuous of the person and gives you clear signs of their personality. Cancel and move on.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The "just in case" would concern me if it had been made clear that it was only ever going to be a social with absolutely no chance of anything else.

Quite. I've had several instances of "let's meet for a social" turning into the guy telling me that I wouldn't be able to resist him. Every one of those, after a few reiterations of my boundaries I ended up blocking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends who with

If its one girl we can say social till were blue in the face but will power is fickle sometimes

As evidenced"

Yeah I know that feeling.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not a good sign of there understanding of the word 'NO'.

Their being disrespectful at best and sound likely to be manipulative. Postpone at least."

I think this too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d cancel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell them yet again that I only do socials first and there is no chance that I will be joining them in that room. I've had it before where a guy has said well I have planned it all now. My response was well I told you from the start and it put me off meeting him again after the social.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok devils advocate here....

Could he have booked the hotel because he has to travel to you from another town ?

If so, it could just be a simple I don’t need to worry about what time train I’m getting and stop the social because I need to dash for transport home

If not, give him a slap for doing it in the first place, a social is a social

Good point.

I think the 'just in case' comment would put me off anyway. Unless he meant he might have too much to drink and need to stay over.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I would tell them yet again that I only do socials first and there is no chance that I will be joining them in that room. I've had it before where a guy has said well I have planned it all now. My response was well I told you from the start and it put me off meeting him again after the social. "

Indeed. If you've planned something I said I wasn't going to do, then aren't you stupid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?

Beware. Look what happened to this guy!!!!!

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/378653

You are the thread finder king!!

I wonder who that was. Now I understand why so many men wear Crocs to socials.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We were chatting to a guy who started from a point of being interested in friendship only, his suggestion not ours. We agreed to meet for coffee he then made it clear that he wanted that to be at his home and he was investigating buying bdsm equipment for us all to use

. "

Did you buy a wedding dress 'just in case'?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Ok devils advocate here....

Could he have booked the hotel because he has to travel to you from another town ?

If so, it could just be a simple I don’t need to worry about what time train I’m getting and stop the social because I need to dash for transport home

If not, give him a slap for doing it in the first place, a social is a social

Good point.

I think the 'just in case' comment would put me off anyway. Unless he meant he might have too much to drink and need to stay over. "

Precisely that... it could just be an innocent comment, but you won’t know unless you ask

hope it works out for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure they understand what a social is by telling them and blocking them after.

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I would cancel the cheeky bugger!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Make sure they understand what a social is by telling them and blocking them after. "

Oh lord I have. Although I tell people that my socials are social only no play no exceptions from the outset. It should be clear. It's wilful ignorance most of the time.

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By *ubergenieWoman
over a year ago

Neath

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?"

This is a red flag for boundary crossing and also being really presumptuous or manipulative.

If you still want to meet (which I would not) then make it clear that he will be enjoying that hotel room alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't mind them booking a hotel if they have to travel etc but if sex is implied by the "just in case" then I'd probably cancel. I agree with the comment about it adding pressure.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'd say Oh good planning.

I'd go...... socialise and leave after a great time.

BUT...... if I wanted to fuck them i'd say ... Good job you thought ahead

Those saying that psychological pressure is on ....... allow that.

You are in control in broad daylight after all.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Awful isn't it when someone does that??! When you've been more than clear that it's purely social and will never be anything else, and they say something like that and your stomach drops.... Or worse, when you do meet them for the social and they keep swooping in for a snog

I've bopped my head off more tables, walls, doors trying to duck unwanted snogs than I can remember (could be concussion-related

)!!

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By *019ReadyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Did you buy a wedding dress 'just in case'?"

That would be a great response to the hotel room booked "just incase"!

"Fab! I'll bring the wedding dress I have already & tell Mum to buy a hat. Just incase!"

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

BTW........ Are you ALL seriously saying that when you have a 1 on 1 SOCIAL meet that at least ONE of the two of you isn't hoping that sex will happen .....

pullease

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you buy a wedding dress 'just in case'?

That would be a great response to the hotel room booked "just incase"!

"Fab! I'll bring the wedding dress I have already & tell Mum to buy a hat. Just incase!"

I was going to say this!

Or tell him..I'm bringing my can of pepper spray.. just in case!

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

If it was a single man it would absolutely be a deal-breaker. We rather find someone less pushy as there are a lot of men to choose from.

If it was a woman or a couple, it would depend a lot on how good the rapport was. It is possible that we are travelling a long way but opportunities are limited. If the vibes are there, we'd take it on a case-by-case basis.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'd say Oh good planning.

I'd go...... socialise and leave after a great time.

BUT...... if I wanted to fuck them i'd say ... Good job you thought ahead

Those saying that psychological pressure is on ....... allow that.

You are in control in broad daylight after all.

Yes, but I don't want to spend a social shrugging off or dodging a guy who thinks he's getting some and so is trying to curtail the social to get his dick wet.

I go to socials to talk, not get felt up.

Also, I don't want to deal with the anger when (when, not if, when) I tell him I won't be fucking him that day. Because I won't. Because I don't.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'd like to see it pan out like this .....

Woman meets man who has booked a hotel 'just in case' ....... woman thinks... ooooooo I fancy him. Man thinks ..... not a chance in hell. They have a lovely social and he has a nice hotel room and a lucky escape....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Better make it clear that I had NO ONE in mind for the above post.

Just another take on events

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Better make it clear that I had F&B in mind for the above post.

Just another take on events "

I know love

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

He might be a Boy Scout

Better to be prepared

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'd like to see it pan out like this .....

It may do. I just consider from my own perspective.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Better make it clear that I had F&B in mind for the above post.

Just another take on events

I know love "

But you are always on my mind

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'd like to see it pan out like this .....

It may do. I just consider from my own perspective. "

Quite right. We can't play other people's games.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Did you buy a wedding dress 'just in case'?

That would be a great response to the hotel room booked "just incase"!

"Fab! I'll bring the wedding dress I have already & tell Mum to buy a hat. Just incase!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd like to see it pan out like this .....

My socials are like that.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?

Beware. Look what happened to this guy!!!!!

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/378653

You are the thread finder king!!

I wonder who that was. Now I understand why so many men wear Crocs to socials. "

I only wear flip flops to meets now.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Playing devils advocate to those saying it could be just in case he had too much to drink, or some other innocent reason, if he understood it was just a social, he'd have said "just in case I have too much to drink/miss my last train etc" rather than leave it dangling like he did with an inference of something else completely?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?

Beware. Look what happened to this guy!!!!!

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/378653

You are the thread finder king!!

I wonder who that was. Now I understand why so many men wear Crocs to socials.

I only wear flip flops to meets now.

That link proper made me laugh, thank you.

Hopalong

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Playing devils advocate to those saying it could be just in case he had too much to drink, or some other innocent reason, if he understood it was just a social, he'd have said "just in case I have too much to drink/miss my last train etc" rather than leave it dangling like he did with an inference of something else completely?"

I think that too. I'd wait and see if he clarified but if there was any doubt I wouldn't meet.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?

Beware. Look what happened to this guy!!!!!

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/378653

You are the thread finder king!!

I wonder who that was. Now I understand why so many men wear Crocs to socials.

I only wear flip flops to meets now.

That link proper made me laugh, thank you.

Hopalong"

My work here is done.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?"

Cancel as I don't meet in hotels ever, and that would have been made clear prior to the social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

attend the social and tell him that's great to have a plan b with someone else,or a hooker.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Maybe Mr GM but not all are so eloquent and clear with their words, and are not always clear with their intentions in writing. Doesn’t hurt to ask the question to clarify the meaning.

I’d rather this than you pass someone by due to a misunderstanding in a message that could quite easily have another meaning than how it has been read.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

To be honest, if I was you I would go to meet him but arrange for someone else you have met before to turn up 20 minutes after. When the original guy asks why the other fella has turned up I would say "Just in case" and then walk out with the other fella...

..but that's because I am nasty.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 22/06/19 14:16:13]

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"BTW........ Are you ALL seriously saying that when you have a 1 on 1 SOCIAL meet that at least ONE of the two of you isn't hoping that sex will happen .....

pullease

Granny, I met potential play mates during my lunch hour for a social. Sometimes it'd be after work near the station so I could hop on the train home.

Social was just that.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"To be honest, if I was you I would go to meet him but arrange for someone else you have met before to turn up 20 minutes after. When the original guy asks why the other fella has turned up I would say "Just in case" and then walk out with the other fella...

..but that's because I am nasty."

Life is too short for game playing...but each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then I say that im keeping my legs unshaven to stress im going for just that.... A social

Just be crystal frigging clear its non sexual

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"BTW........ Are you ALL seriously saying that when you have a 1 on 1 SOCIAL meet that at least ONE of the two of you isn't hoping that sex will happen .....

pullease

Granny, I met potential play mates during my lunch hour for a social. Sometimes it'd be after work near the station so I could hop on the train home.

Social was just that.

Fnarrrrrrrr you are not the ONLY one at the meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd ask for clarification without showing my hand.

If it's in case you couldn't resist him, I'd cancel and probably cease contact. "

This

Although hopefully its incase he has to much to drink or something similar.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Maybe Mr GM but not all are so eloquent and clear with their words, and are not always clear with their intentions in writing. Doesn’t hurt to ask the question to clarify the meaning.

I’d rather this than you pass someone by due to a misunderstanding in a message that could quite easily have another meaning than how it has been read. "

Ah Ms SC (being as we're going formal

) I wasn't suggesting there was anything wrong in clarifying - like I said just playing devils advocate

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"BTW........ Are you ALL seriously saying that when you have a 1 on 1 SOCIAL meet that at least ONE of the two of you isn't hoping that sex will happen .....

pullease

Granny, I met potential play mates during my lunch hour for a social. Sometimes it'd be after work near the station so I could hop on the train home.

Social was just that.

Fnarrrrrrrr you are not the ONLY one at the meet. "

I’m sure any red blooded man would love to carry on a social with sex, especially if you are talking about naughty things, women kinda like the planning etc but I’m sure a few will still be up for it with the right bloke too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?"

Wish them well in their stayover, but make it perfectly obvious that I wouldn't be joining them

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"It depends". You've been talking with this person enough to get some idea of their character. If they otherwise seem like a good thing, suitably respectful, and this is the only negative, then I'd remind them it's only a social, go, and be prepared to leave if they get too pushy.

A lot of people are happy to let a social turn into more, and in those cases it's good to be prepared.

But if they've already shown enough disrespect for your boundaries, then this could certainly be enough to end it.

So much depends on what has happened before this point. Trust your gut. Both options are reasonable, neither makes you a bad person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had that before. I cancelled the social"

Same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?"

Have you been eavesdropping on my conversations? Lol

Something similar happened to me recently...i told him it was only ever going to be a social as i didnt fancy him but i still enjoyed chatting... he then decided to block me

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I would also cancel. A social is just that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The "just in case" would concern me if it had been made clear that it was only ever going to be a social with absolutely no chance of anything else.

Ha Ive had a few of those too. They usually blow themselves up over messages before too long

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By *H and HJCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

We’ve just been discussing this and agree with the majority-cancel on this person who doesn’t appear to understand it’s only a social’. Preferably cancel at the last minute and then block him. Doesn’t sound like the sort of person to waste your time or risk your well being on!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

..but that's because I am nasty."

Oooooh

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Cringe ~ a lot. If I really thought we would get on I wouldn't cancel but I'd still made sure he knew it was unlikely that I'd go to the hotel with him.

If went ahead with the social I'd be really careful about leaving my drink with him or him going to the bar alone to. But that's just how my mind works!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And this is the reason I won’t meet guys for a social to be honest. Almost everyone I have spoken too (apart from about two) haven’t seem to understand it’s just a social and nothing more, always leading it on to something else and I’m not comfortable with it.

If your gut is saying cancel, i’d cancel it.

Danish x

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Cringe ~ a lot. If I really thought we would get on I wouldn't cancel but I'd still made sure he knew it was unlikely that I'd go to the hotel with him.

If went ahead with the social I'd be really careful about leaving my drink with him or him going to the bar alone to. But that's just how my mind works!"

A sensible approach for any meet

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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs

Go with the flow - too many rules on this site. Do what you feel like doing

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I would go, but make it clear its a social in a public place only. If they tried to persuade me otherwise before, I would cancel. If they tried to persuade me during the social I would walk instantly. Their loss for assuming I would go along with it, not mine.

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?"

I'd block them as they clearly haven't listened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Costafortune, would have been cheaper, lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cringe ~ a lot. If I really thought we would get on I wouldn't cancel but I'd still made sure he knew it was unlikely that I'd go to the hotel with him.

If went ahead with the social I'd be really careful about leaving my drink with him or him going to the bar alone to. But that's just how my mind works!"

Really good point about the drink!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The poor chap, is probably reading all this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had something similar, many years ago.

Agreed to meet a guy, purely for drinks and assess the mood.

The morning of the intended meet, he wrote to us, asking if we could change venue, as he was in a local hotel overnight.

Biggest laugh is, he was local...as in a short walk from our intended venue!

Told him to do one, blacked him, never heard from him again....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The poor chap, is probably reading all this?"

What chap? It's just a question to discuss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The poor chap, is probably reading all this?

What chap? It's just a question to discuss."

I read wrong, soz, lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The poor chap, is probably reading all this?

What chap? It's just a question to discuss.

I read wrong, soz, lol.

No worries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/06/19 17:09:42]

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By *aiseaneyebrowMan
over a year ago

Fylde

Presumption and assumptions sound dangerous. I’d cancel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can tell them to ‘just in case’ by themselves.

You need to be careful and be wary that you don’t get pressured in to having a meet which is much more than a social.

Make sure you stand your ground and don’t let them guilt you in to thinking you should go back to their hotel or to have a social there instead.

If he/she is making you uncomfortable already, you need to consider whether you will truly enjoy the meet.

Otherwise, you can always take a detour and come to London instead lol

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

""It depends". You've been talking with this person enough to get some idea of their character. If they otherwise seem like a good thing, suitably respectful, and this is the only negative, then I'd remind them it's only a social, go, and be prepared to leave if they get too pushy.

A lot of people are happy to let a social turn into more, and in those cases it's good to be prepared.

But if they've already shown enough disrespect for your boundaries, then this could certainly be enough to end it.

So much depends on what has happened before this point. Trust your gut. Both options are reasonable, neither makes you a bad person."

this for me

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By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth

"Cringe ~ a lot. If I really thought we would get on I wouldn't cancel but I'd still made sure he knew it was unlikely that I'd go to the hotel with him.

If went ahead with the social I'd be really careful about leaving my drink with him or him going to the bar alone to. But that's just how my mind works!"

This

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Reminds us of a couple we met a few years ago. We explained that when meeting for the first time it was always social first and if we all clicked then we would be happy to arrange a second play meeting.

Social went well but at the end of the night the husband of the couple kept asking if we wanted to return to theirs. Mrs said quite firmly that as agreed it was a social only at which point he got up and walked off, leaving his wife flustered and apologising. We walked her back to their car reassuring her it was not her fault and left.

Needless to say we never met them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've been chatting to someone and got on well. You arrange a social but make it clear it's only a social and won't turn into anything else.

The day before, they say they've booked a hotel 'just in case'.

What do you do?"

Maybe you need to be more clear with them and respect their boundaries? Ofcourse if you back out from the date its shows more about you......oh the irony

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By *he SophisticatsCouple
over a year ago

Casa Del Fun

"Ask him, just in case of what? Depending on his answer would determine if I would cancel."

This! ^^^^^

A social meet is exactly what it is.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd ask what they were up to, as we'd already agreed the social only scope. I'd probably be a bit pissed off, due to the pressure and might still cancel it

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"BTW........ Are you ALL seriously saying that when you have a 1 on 1 SOCIAL meet that at least ONE of the two of you isn't hoping that sex will happen .....

pullease

Granny, I met potential play mates during my lunch hour for a social. Sometimes it'd be after work near the station so I could hop on the train home.

Social was just that.

Fnarrrrrrrr you are not the ONLY one at the meet. "

I'm the only one that matters.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Have they got a long way to travel? Maybe they plan to explore the area or something? Maybe they plan on getting d*unk and don't want to drive home after?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"BTW........ Are you ALL seriously saying that when you have a 1 on 1 SOCIAL meet that at least ONE of the two of you isn't hoping that sex will happen .....

pullease

Granny, I met potential play mates during my lunch hour for a social. Sometimes it'd be after work near the station so I could hop on the train home.

Social was just that.

Fnarrrrrrrr you are not the ONLY one at the meet.

I'm the only one that matters. "

Correct.

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By *H and HJCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

[Removed by poster at 24/06/19 13:46:35]

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By *H and HJCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

"Reminds us of a couple we met a few years ago. We explained that when meeting for the first time it was always social first and if we all clicked then we would be happy to arrange a second play meeting.

Needless to say we never met them again."

Never an excuse for bad manners.

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By *H and HJCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

"Presumption and assumptions sound dangerous. I’d cancel. "

I (H) agree.

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